Teenager Before Smartphones

[sam_gordon]

But for every one of those I see, I see two or three tables that are completely silent, while everyone is on their phone doing their own thing.

This keeps getting brought up (I think multiple times in this thread, and in other threads and about families and cell phones).

How do you (general) know that family "doing their own thing" on their phones in a restaurant isn't taking a break after being in the car for hours? And they've said everything they need to say?

For that matter, how many people when traveling with their family, talks the entire trip? Kids might be doing homework, reading, playing games, listening to music, adults listening to a podcast, doing a crossword, sewing, whatever. I mean you can go on hour long trips with people "doing their own thing", but it's an issue when they go into a restaurant? I don't get it.

 

[bjscheel]

This keeps getting brought up (I think multiple times in this thread, and in other threads and about families and cell phones).

How do you (general) know that family "doing their own thing" on their phones in a restaurant isn't taking a break after being in the car for hours? And they've said everything they need to say?

For that matter, how many people when traveling with their family, talks the entire trip? Kids might be doing homework, reading, playing games, listening to music, adults listening to a podcast, doing a crossword, sewing, whatever. I mean you can go on hour long trips with people "doing their own thing", but it's an issue when they go into a restaurant? I don't get it.

Yep I agree but the restaurant is where they are visible to the public so that gets called out. I remember thinking about my own family a couple of times where we did look at our phones at the restaurant but in the car ride my girls had been collaboratively writing a story (like chapters-long, this went on for months), or we had been playing Guess the Disney Character or something.

As far as the teen thing, I probably would have liked having a smartphone but also I've watched my girls spend a lot of time keeping up Snapchat conversations with long distance boyfriends and it seemed exhausting.

 

[Moliphino]

Guess it depends on the person.

I find life so much easier and simpler with a cell phone.

Just the maps/GPS alone makes life so much easier.

 

[CdnCarrie]

This keeps getting brought up (I think multiple times in this thread, and in other threads and about families and cell phones).

How do you (general) know that family "doing their own thing" on their phones in a restaurant isn't taking a break after being in the car for hours? And they've said everything they need to say?

For that matter, how many people when traveling with their family, talks the entire trip? Kids might be doing homework, reading, playing games, listening to music, adults listening to a podcast, doing a crossword, sewing, whatever. I mean you can go on hour long trips with people "doing their own thing", but it's an issue when they go into a restaurant? I don't get it.

Exactly! We have spent a week camping with no wifi, On way home stopped for lunch and we were all on devices for the first time in a week.
We had just spent an entire week interacting.

Some people should just stop judging.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Just the maps/GPS alone makes life so much easier.

And checking store hours. Transferring money with bank app.
Refilling prescriptions at touch of a button.
Booking vet appointment.
Making plane reservations.
Checking in for your flight.

Like was for sure not easier before cell phones.

 

[nancipants]

I completely understand. When I see families out to dinner and they are all on a device (little kids on tablet) it just makes me sad. Just talk to each other! Color, etc. And I have little kids so I know how it can be.

My toddler breaks crayons and then drops them all over the floor. (He’s at least moved on from trying to eat them.)

 

[nancipants]

I also wonder how many people are responding to this thread on a smart phone.

 

[White Cat]

For everyone who lived their teenaged years Pre-Smartphones,do you feel you were "cheated" by not being able to have constant communication with Boyfriends and Girlfriends and Friends,etc. during those special years?

Or is anyone glad they weren't tethered to a handheld computer during the days of teenager life?

No
Yes

 

[Taxtherich12]

I wonder how we got by. But we did. We didn’t have it, so we can’t miss it.

 

[goofyernmost]

Not even a little bit. We had actual contact with our friends and if we didn't we used landlines., yes there were phone before smartphones. And they worked well. We knew how to speak to people, make eye contact and actually get to know them. We also didn't walk in front of moving cars or fall into fountains because we are just looking at our phones. Life was a little more difficult but much more rewarding before those ear growths showed up.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Also puzzling over being “tethered “ to a cell.
If my mom, friend, insurance salesman called on either a landline or a cell I can choose whether or not to pick up.
I don’t answer my cell phone at work or in public.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Not even a little bit. We had actual contact with our friends and if we didn't we used landlines., yes there were phone before smartphones. And hey worked well. We knew how to speak to people, make eye contact and actually get to know them. We also didn't walk in front of moving cars or fall into fountains because we are just looking at our phones. Life was a little more difficult but much more rewarding before those ear growths showed up.

Have you talked to your teens about moving in front of moving cars and not making eye contact? Maybe you can get them to talk to someone.
My teens aren’t like that at all.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Definitely not. I am happy to have grown up the way I did.

 

[soccerdad72]

I was fine as a teen without smart phones.

I'm fine as an adult with a smart phone, which I love having.

My teens (one is 22 now) have grown up fine with smart phones.

None of this is mutually exclusive

 

[White Cat]

I was fine as a teen without smart phones.

I'm fine as an adult with a smart phone, which I love having.

My teens (one is 22 now) have grown up fine with smart phones.

None of this is mutually exclusive

Thats where I’m at. I’m happy to have grown up very simply. The way I grew up has helped me and given me advantages in life and business and dealing with people, I believe. But now I need the smart phone. International banking , moving money, air line tickets, I even bought a hone in another country mostly on a smart phone. These things would be very cumbersome and time consuming with out.

 

[goofyernmost]

Have you talked to your teens about moving in front of moving cars and not making eye contact? Maybe you can get them to talk to someone.
My teens aren’t like that at all.

My teen children were well before cell phones and even though they adapted to them quickly at almost 50 years old they don't work their lives around them. That said, as usual, with a general statement it doesn't include everyone. I'm glad you teens aren't like that but I afraid that they are starting to be the exception rather than the rule.

 

[leahgoogle]

I'm glad we didn't have cell phones when I was a teen! I think I would have gotten into a lot more trouble...lol. Also, not growing up with cell phones forced us to problem solve and be patient. For example, when my kids' practices are done early or they have to wait a few minutes for me to get there, it is instant texting, "where are you?". Back in the day, you sat there and waited sometimes for 15 or 20 minutes with no way to communicate with whomever was picking you up. Looking back, I didn't even think about it. I knew eventually someone would pick me up. The problem solving part was usually more sinister like getting out of trouble. But, not having instant communication or having to seek out a pay-phone taught survival skills or "street smarts"...lol. Gen X'ers will understand ;-) Interestingly, my youngest daughter who is 12 had told me that she wishes she would have grown up when I did before cell phones. She views it as easier (as I did regarding my Mom's "simple" generation). I think even kids that have never known life without tablets or phones get overwhelmed by the technologies.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Yep I agree but the restaurant is where they are visible to the public so that gets called out. I remember thinking about my own family a couple of times where we did look at our phones at the restaurant but in the car ride my girls had been collaboratively writing a story (like chapters-long, this went on for months), or we had been playing Guess the Disney Character or something.

Most of the time when my husband and I are on our phones at dinner we're looking at things...then a novel concept I guess to others..is we talk about those things.

From current news to vacation planning to what plans we have and when we talk about it all. Sometimes we're silent for a bit while we're reading it up and then we're talking.

We'll talk in the car then we'll talk at dinner. My step-father-in-law really got into the smart phone arena and he looks up a lot of stuff now on youtube namely repair videos. Then there's looking up sports stuff. Then we'll all talk about things.

IDK sometimes silence at the table doesn't mean disconnect between everyone there.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Back in the day, you sat there and waited sometimes for 15 or 20 minutes with no way to communicate with whomever was picking you up.

I agree with you to a degree about patience (I remember the dial up days and find myself still annoyed when things aren't fast enough today) on the other hand it is nice when someone is running late or you're able to let them know you're done early to have that communication. I'm thinking of situations like it's raining or snowing or extremely hot. If you know someone is 20mins away you can decide what to do. When you don't know you just don't know.

But as far as problem solving is that really the device's fault OR a breakdown in communication on what to do? Like having a conversation that says "it's okay to let me know if you're done early" vs "I will be there when your practice is done if you're done early you can do xyz" Tech changes and so do expectations. If you want to set up the expectation that your kids will just wait and they need to figure it out on their own tell them that. It's not a negative that they reach out if you haven't told them what you expect not to mention that many parents with the ubiquitous nature of cell phones expect to be able to reach their kids whenever wherever and for them to quickly respond and for them to keep them up to date on their comings and goings.

And FWIW as a Millennial we had pay phones too with no way to communicate with our parents otherwise

 

[nancipants]

Most of the time when my husband and I are on our phones at dinner we're looking at things...then a novel concept I guess to others..is we talk about those things.

I don't know how many times my husband and I are looking at our phones, only to then shove our phone in the other's face because we saw a funny video or tweet and then laugh about it.