Teen Help Needed!!! (Long)

[Toffeewoffy]

I'm glad everything has worked out for you. I am also relieved for you that the BFF's mum has realised that she needs to recompense you in some way - the cancelling of the air tickets won't have been free, and even if you don't cancel but transfer them into someone else's name, the airline will hit you with a penalty charge on that, as well.

I fell out with a couple of best friends between 14 and 16 - as we grew up we matured/developed in different directions and just didn't share the same interests any more. It wasn't even a boyfriend thing! Also, in the UK at the time you could leave school at 16 or 18. My previous bezzie left school at 16, as did quite a few of my peers, and I practically never saw any of them again! I had a new bezzie when I was in the 6th form at school, and it was a completely different world (a bit like the difference you get when you go on to High School, but also completely different! Very difficult to explain.) It didn't help that two of my best friends weren't even on the phone at home, which meant I could never ring them out of school. This was the 70s - mobiles weren't even a twinkle in anyone's eyes at that time. When I finally left school at 18, half my friends at that time disappeared off all over the country to go to University or generally get jobs (I also moved away from home), and I lost touch with my last friend only a few years ago (we're now in our 50s).

If your daughter had to give up a lot of her favourite pursuits to suit her BFF, what kind of a friend is that, anyway?! Harsh though it sounds, it looks as if she's well out it!

 

[mjkacmom]

If your daughter had to give up a lot of her favourite pursuits to suit her BFF, what kind of a friend is that, anyway?! Harsh though it sounds, it looks as if she's well out it!

I wouldn't blame the friend for that - the OP's dd chose to drop activities her bff didn't want to participate in. People change, friendships strengthen and weaken. The friend is acting like a typical teen with her first boyfriend. The OP's dd might end up doing the same thing someday, even if she thinks she won't.

I am happy to say that most of my friendships from high school managed to stay intact, but all had rough patches. A PP gave good advice to the OP, to not talk badly about the friend. There is a good chance the friendship will pick up again after the boyfriend relationship ends.

 

[3happydancers]

I wouldn't blame the friend for that - the OP's dd chose to drop activities her bff didn't want to participate in. People change, friendships strengthen and weaken. The friend is acting like a typical teen with her first boyfriend. The OP's dd might end up doing the same thing someday, even if she thinks she won't.

I am happy to say that most of my friendships from high school managed to stay intact, but all had rough patches. A PP gave good advice to the OP, to not talk badly about the friend. There is a good chance the friendship will pick up again after the boyfriend relationship ends.

Can't dispute what you stated. Yes, my daughter gave up things by choice, not giving it a second thought. I do not blame anyone. And my daughter has come to realize that was a mistake on her part. So if anything, she has learned and grew a little.

And yes, who knows, when my DD finds her first "love", she may end up doing the same thing her BFF has done. But I am hoping she remembers how this experience made her feel and will handle things differently.

Please understand I am not angry at the BFF, maybe a little disappointed that things ended the way it did, but not angry. I have a soft spot in my heart for her BFF and truly treated her like family. Her mom and dad are very nice and we both agree the situation is sad. I am certain we will keep in touch.

I have received wonderful advise by many. That was the purpose of posting. I knew I would get honest feedback which I take seriously and thank you all for.

 

[mjkacmom]

Can't dispute what you stated. Yes, my daughter gave up things by choice, not giving it a second thought. I do not blame anyone. And my daughter has come to realize that was a mistake on her part. So if anything, she has learned and grew a little.
.

I was replying to toffywoffy who implied that she wasn't much of a friend. You really seem to be handling this very well, actually. This behavior from the friend is so typical - they are just so young, and don't yet understand how more important friendships are than boys, who will come and go. They will eventually realize it, after some hurt.

One of my high school friends just posted this on facebook, and it's so true.

http://totalsororitymove.com/67-things-i-wish-i-had-known-at-18-3/

 

[3happydancers]

I was replying to toffywoffy who implied that she wasn't much of a friend. You really seem to be handling this very well, actually. This behavior from the friend is so typical - they are just so young, and don't yet understand how more important friendships are than boys, who will come and go. They will eventually realize it, after some hurt.

One of my high school friends just posted this on facebook, and it's so true.

http://totalsororitymove.com/67-things-i-wish-i-had-known-at-18-3/

Got it! And thanks for your support!

Also, checked out the 67 things I wish I had known... Great read. Thinking of printing it for my daughter!