teasing in schools, need suggestions.

[PRINCESS VIJA]

DS has told me he gets teased alot. From what I can gather, it really is only a few kids, but DS wears his heart on his sleeve, and focuses on that, vs the kids that always say hi to him etc. So, do you have any suggestions? I did talk to the guidance couselor and I have a call out to the teacher. Sounds like they might do something in the classroom. I know that kids tease kids, and in fact it still occurs as adults , I would love for it to stop, but I am a realist and know that that isn't probably to feasible, rather, I am looking for ways to help arm my son with ideas, info on how to best deal with it. any suggestions on some good books, movies or maybe some personal stories I can share with DS? I have done some talking with him, and sharing stories of my childhood, but I think I need more.

 

[grinningghost]

I'm really sorry to hear this. Kids can be so mean. I'm not sure how old your son is, but hopefully, as time goes on and he gets older, they'll stop and he'll grow a thicker skin. My DD was teased when she was little and was also very sensitive. She didn't know how to ignore it or even fight back. She just came home crying all the time. It was heartbreaking.

Work with your son's school. I found allies in her teachers and principal. They were very good to make it known that teasing wouldn't be tolerated without focusing in on my DD. They corrected them in a very general manner and that kept them from teasing her even worse. Be sure to ask his teacher to try and avoid the "Stop teasing Johnny" lectures. It only makes it worse for the kid being teased.

Good luck to you both.

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

my 6th grade dd had some of her very close friends turn on her a few months ago. suddenly they were excluding her, saying mean things to her in the hall, etc. when I said "so ignore it" she replied "but they have so much power, they decide who sits at our lunch table and everything!" but after we discussed it a bit more, she realized that they have power over her only because she cares about what they think. once she stopped caring, they had no more power to make her miserable.

your son is vulnerable because he wears his heart on his sleeve. he needs to realize he's giving them the power to make him miserable.

 

[Keli]

My dd Ashli had some similar problems when she was young and the thing that helped her the most was to learn to lighten up and laugh at herself too. She was a very sensitive soul and never made fun of anyone else so she didn't quite 'get it' when others did it to her. She took everything as a personal assult when often it was done not because the person didn't like Ash but because she always gave them such a big reaction. When she was able let little things roll off her back she was much happier and the number of teasing incidents went down considerably.

 

[wovenwonder]

Have a couple of kids over on a day they have vacation from school. Ask him to invite the kids that are teasing him AND his friends. Only invite one of the 'teasers' over at a time then. They will get to see his fun side and may become good friends. I find that when my kids had friends over to our house they were alot more secure and openened up more. On school vacations I always have a house full of kids.