Team Focker Watch Chat - Version 7.0: It Slices, Dices and Rolls Up Socks

[Muffinygood]

Oh, I saw someone was looking for nice cards - try Cost Plus, they have some really beautiful ones there right now and 50% off!

Miss you guys!!

Miss you too, T! How's stuff?

We had a Cost Plus here but they closed. I thought it was ALL of them...

*************

I forgot to mention earlier that I got Kristel's card! Thanks Kristel!

I'm working on mine right now. (Uh, well not RIGHT now, obviously I'm Dis'ing right now...LOL)

Ok, back to work. I'll be refreshing though.....


MEL

 

[sorul82?]

Ok Fockers, I need some advice. I have completely had it with my children and their lack of room cleaning. The upstairs bathroom is a mess with clothes all over the floor. I refuse to clean up for them as they are old enough (11, 9, 9). They don't put away their clean clothes and then throw then back into the laundry room. I am determined to win this battle so I have threatened no toys for Christmas unless their rooms are clean. Is this too harsh? I haven't wrapped anything yet and will not put anything under the tree until I am satisfied. I have tried being nice, mean, made deals, you name it. What more can I do other than let them win?

 

[Goofyluver]

Ok Fockers, I need some advice. I have completely had it with my children and their lack of room cleaning. The upstairs bathroom is a mess with clothes all over the floor. I refuse to clean up for them as they are old enough (11, 9, 9). They don't put away their clean clothes and then throw then back into the laundry room. I am determined to win this battle so I have threatened no toys for Christmas unless their rooms are clean. Is this too harsh? I haven't wrapped anything yet and will not put anything under the tree until I am satisfied. I have tried being nice, mean, made deals, you name it. What more can I do other than let them win?

Hmmmm. Are you prepared to really give no presents?

After school, what is their routine?

Meaning...do they come home from school and do homework? Watch TV? Play games?

What if there's a no access rule. (which is what I do with Jon) Until ______________ (fill in the blank) is done...you get nada. Zilch. Zip. No video games. No TV. No phone. No friends. Jon has tested and lost. He gets mighty bored sitting in his room with nothing. And there was one time, where he flat our refused to do something (I forget what) and he was in his room for 2 days. (not straight...he went to school ) Nothing until rooms are clean. Nothing.

I see deals as a compromise. You give me something, I'll give you something.

AFAIC, chores are not a compromise. You do it or you pay.

Separate, but related, Jon has a very difficult time with organization due to his disabilities. I had so much trouble with him last year. He was in trouble constantly. So, I went and talked to his counselor this year. She said that I had to immediately reward and immediately punish him. So, if he brings home his planner signed, he gets $1. If he doesn't, he loses video games for the day. No questions asked. It has worked wonders. Now...I'm not suggesting that you pay them for doing what they're supposed to be doing. But, the premise has worked for us. Immediate reward, immediate consequence. Otherwise, the lesson doesn't stick for Jon.

Whoa...I rambled. Hope I've given you some help at least.

 

[jcc0621]

We did cow tipping up north here in the mid-80's. I don't know if it still goes on now.

I never saw a cow until I went away to school at IUP

Janet - I remember seeing Cost Plus when Eric lived in San Francisco. It's not on the east coast, but Eric said they called it Pier One with booze, if that tells you anything.

Be back later,,Ben has a basketball game to get to!

Hi Carrie

Ok Fockers, I need some advice. I have completely had it with my children and their lack of room cleaning. The upstairs bathroom is a mess with clothes all over the floor. I refuse to clean up for them as they are old enough (11, 9, 9). They don't put away their clean clothes and then throw then back into the laundry room. I am determined to win this battle so I have threatened no toys for Christmas unless their rooms are clean. Is this too harsh? I haven't wrapped anything yet and will not put anything under the tree until I am satisfied. I have tried being nice, mean, made deals, you name it. What more can I do other than let them win?

Hmmmm. Are you prepared to really give no presents?

After school, what is their routine?

Meaning...do they come home from school and do homework? Watch TV? Play games?

What if there's a no access rule. (which is what I do with Jon) Until ______________ (fill in the blank) is done...you get nada. Zilch. Zip. No video games. No TV. No phone. No friends. Jon has tested and lost. He gets mighty bored sitting in his room with nothing. And there was one time, where he flat our refused to do something (I forget what) and he was in his room for 2 days. (not straight...he went to school ) Nothing until rooms are clean. Nothing.

I see deals as a compromise. You give me something, I'll give you something.

AFAIC, chores are not a compromise. You do it or you pay.

Separate, but related, Jon has a very difficult time with organization due to his disabilities. I had so much trouble with him last year. He was in trouble constantly. So, I went and talked to his counselor this year. She said that I had to immediately reward and immediately punish him. So, if he brings home his planner signed, he gets $1. If he doesn't, he loses video games for the day. No questions asked. It has worked wonders. Now...I'm not suggesting that you pay them for doing what they're supposed to be doing. But, the premise has worked for us. Immediate reward, immediate consequence. Otherwise, the lesson doesn't stick for Jon.

Whoa...I rambled. Hope I've given you some help at least.

I was going to say something, but Jen said it all perfectly for me...but thenagain I am no tin that boat yet. Jimmy actually likes to help around the house I'm sure that will change as he gets older He gets a quarter for walking/feeding the dog, a quarter for helping Jim take the trash out, a quarter to help me load the dishwasher. He tells everybody he is earning money for DIsney World

 

[sorul82?]

They come home, have a snack, do homework. Since the rooms aren't clean, they do nothing but go to their rooms. Instead of cleaning to get tv or games, they just play and make a bigger mess. They would get $5 per week if their rooms were clean.

 

[jcc0621]

FOrgot to say...I got a card from Kristel today Thanks Kristel!

 

[jcc0621]

They come home, have a snack, do homework. Since the rooms aren't clean, they do nothing but go to their rooms. Instead of cleaning to get tv or games, they just play and make a bigger mess. They would get $5 per week if their rooms were clean.

Take the toys out of their rooms?????

 

[sorul82?]

I was going to say something, but Jen said it all perfectly for me...but thenagain I am no tin that boat yet. Jimmy actually likes to help around the house I'm sure that will change as he gets older He gets a quarter for walking/feeding the dog, a quarter for helping Jim take the trash out, a quarter to help me load the dishwasher. He tells everybody he is earning money for DIsney World

They have chores that change monthly and they will do those; take out trash, put laundry from wash to dryer and empty dryer, and take out the dog. DS9 loves to dust and vacuum, DS11 also empties the dishwasher. A few weeks ago, they raked leaves and pulled weeds. It's just those dang rooms; they're a fire hazard I tell ya.

 

[sorul82?]

Take the toys out of their rooms?????

ok, so I thought about that, and we have done that before; just go in with garbage bags and remove all toys. But that relieves them of actually having to do the work.

 

[jcc0621]

ok, so I thought about that, and we have done that before; just go in with garbage bags and remove all toys. But that relieves them of actually having to do the work.

Good point? Ban them from their rooms after homework? Make them sit in the kitchen and stare at each other

 

[sorul82?]

Good point? Ban them from their rooms after homework? Make them sit in the kitchen and stare at each other

Hmm, I might try that. DS11 seems to be motivated by McDonalds. I'm not moving too quickly tonight, so I was going to have DH bring home MCD. BUT, I called him and said nevermind, these 3 don't deserve McDonalds, they can eat the chicken I have already cooked. DS11 started crying and refused to come down to eat because he wanted to finish cleaning his room. As for the other 2, they could have cared less and told me the chicken was the best they ever had.

 

[englishrose47]

Hi Focker ! Phew the House Christmas Party is over ! It went really well and I am stuffed DD and the kids came and are also full !!The nice thing about being the Boss is I didn't have to stay toclean up!! I made my Trifle and the bowl was gone in a short time ! DGD did make a dentin it herself !!

 

[Goofyluver]

They come home, have a snack, do homework. Since the rooms aren't clean, they do nothing but go to their rooms. Instead of cleaning to get tv or games, they just play and make a bigger mess. They would get $5 per week if their rooms were clean.

ok, so I thought about that, and we have done that before; just go in with garbage bags and remove all toys. But that relieves them of actually having to do the work.

I'm sort of at a loss. Do you have a den or living room where they could go so they wouldn't have access to the toys to play with them? Where they could go and sit until they decide to clean the rooms?

Or what if you made it a game? I know they're sort of old...but you could pick the prize. The person who cleans their room first on that day gets the prize. Maybe money? A card for a happy meal or something?

I've also made Jon donate whatever toys weren't picked up to the Lighthouse Mission (sort of like Goodwill). I made him bag them up and help me take the stuff to the drop-off. He had till a certain time to clean up...whatever wasn't picked up went in the Goodwill bag. He was younger when we did that though.

That's all I've got.

 

[sorul82?]

Thanks Jen. Games don't work with them. One of the biggest and I mean biggest problems is that they have too much carp. I have tried to limit the toys but don't want to hurt any Grandparents' feelings. They all want to give toys. We are cutting way way back this year. But, because of divorce, they get toys from 9 places. My mom, dad, MIL, FIL, DH's Grandparents, my step Granny, my brother, DH's 4 brothers, us, and Santa. Oops, that's 10 sources. The good thing is that we nearing the toy stage.

 

[ncsjodi]

ok, so I thought about that, and we have done that before; just go in with garbage bags and remove all toys. But that relieves them of actually having to do the work.

I know what you're saying, but what if you take them away and make them work to get them back?? Then, if they're left out a second time, take them away permanently. My girls a quite a bit younger than your kids, but I do pull out the trash bag every once in awhile. We've taken toys away for a week before. I put them in the dining room on the table, where they can see them but just not play with them. It drives them crazy! Now, when they hear me get out the trash bag and shake it open, they move lightening fast!

I'm sort of at a loss. Do you have a den or living room where they could go so they wouldn't have access to the toys to play with them? Where they could go and sit until they decide to clean the rooms?

Or what if you made it a game? I know they're sort of old...but you could pick the prize. The person who cleans their room first on that day gets the prize. Maybe money? A card for a happy meal or something?

I've also made Jon donate whatever toys weren't picked up to the Lighthouse Mission (sort of like Goodwill). I made him bag them up and help me take the stuff to the drop-off. He had till a certain time to clean up...whatever wasn't picked up went in the Goodwill bag. He was younger when we did that though.

That's all I've got.

I think this is a great idea. Tell them that if they can't take care of the toys they've got, there are a lot of children that don't have toys and would love them and take care of them. Then, follow through and take the kids with you to drop them off at a shelter for battered women and children or someplace like that. I hope I never have to go that far, but I'm pretty sure it would be a lesson learned and it wouldn't happen again -- especially if they lost something important to them.

 

[sorul82?]

I just sent up for hugs and kisses and progress has been made. DS11 is almost finished.....ah, the power of a Big Mac; yet I don't want to teach food is a reward....I just can't win. DS9 is about 50% and DD9 at least has her clean clothes off the floor. The hall is still a mess as well as the bathroom.

 

[HomeschoolMama]

Dawn are you going to approve me too

Of course! I only did that approval thing so that if any meanies post, I can just delete it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
S'late- I'm glad they are making progress. I was going to say I like a combo of all of them. What about really cleaning their rroms with them this weekend and eliminating a lot of clutter by donating it to the local shelter or goodwill or put it away for a garage sale to make $ for Disney.
Then explain while the rooms are clean, that you expect them to stay that way. Tell them when you want them clean by (I expect the kids room to be tidy at bedtime each night with them clean enough to dust and vacuum on Fridays) and that the consequences will be that they have to give you all the toys or clothes that are on the floor and you will keep them for a week. They can earn them back by keeping their room clean. Or, I like the idea of them sitting alone in an area where there's nothing to do until they clean their rooms.
I'm mean, too, so I would plan to do smores or a game, or even McDs and not iclude whoever is in time out.

Good luck!

It's funny I'm giving advice when my kids are driving me up the wall right now with their mouths. I'm hoping my lack of patience due to hormone medication switching is the real reason I'm so crabby and not that they really are being so dern frustrating.

 

[englishrose47]

Good night All !! I'm getting sleepy so will chat tomorrow!!

 

[carrieannie]

I'm trying to leave a comment on your blog Dawn, but I cant remember my password!

S'late, I would love to help you. but I have the same problem! I'm tired of being ignored! Dang kids!!!

I didnt get a card from Mo. maybe I.m not on her list? There are pug puppies in the paper, all black and all fawn. ready to go home on Dec20. $500..I would loveto get one, but I have this stupid Pee facory of a basset hound mix! everyone dislikes this dog but Ben. He got out today and I was relieved. until Steves cousin found him at her house and called me. then Ben got wicked upset when I told him he had to go. (the dog, not Ben)
I think I,m going to make a 'rita. anybody want one?

 

[carrieannie]

Good night All !! I'm getting sleepy so will chat tomorrow!!

Night Rosie!!!