Teachers and Parents- Opinions Wanted

[disykat]

I got married at Christmas and changed my name. I thought I'd go by both names, but pretty much everyone changed with no issues. My first graders were falling all over themselves to call me my new name. I had parents tell me they'd been "practicing" my new name over break.

I loved getting married at Christmas.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I think it is so sweet of you to be concerned about this!! I got married over the summer and also went from 2nd to 3rd grade. Most of the kids remembered to call me my new name. It was the kids from the other third grades that would call me my old name, but that was no big deal to me. However, I didn't have a special ed classroom so no help there.

Honestly, I think you need to get married whenever it works best for you and your families. If you get called by your old name, so be it. I think I would change it right away though. If the kids know you are getting married over Christmas but don't change your name until after summer, they might be confused.

 

[mrsv98]

I got married in May and the kids had no trouble with my new name. They (Kindergarten) used to call me Ms. Monkey because they had a hard time pronouncing my (German) maiden name and then I became Mrs V since my new name wasn't much easier! They had fun with the whole thing and it wasn't an issue.

Congratulations!

 

[minkydog]

My son Christian is in a severe/profound intellectually impaired class. One of his teachers got married in January and she decided to keep her name the same for now. She will probably change it all over the summer. Not that Christian will care. He knows her as "Miss Jessica."

 

[jen0610]

Way back in the 70's, one of my teachers got married in the middle of the school year. For the rest of that year, she was still Ms. Lantz and starting at the beginning of the next year, she went by her married name.

DD's 2nd grade teacher got married mid school year. Becasue she was going from a last name that was short and easy to a very Polish "OMG would you please repeat that for me" last name, 4 years later she still goes by her maiden name.

Go with the date you and soon to be DH want and let the name issue fall into place. It will work out, which ever date you go with.

 

[katybugsmom]

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!!!!
I wish we had gotten married at Christmas because it is such a magical time of the year and your future holidays will always be special! I've taught for 21 years and know your schedule very well! Here are a few things to consider:
Christmas Wedding:
Very busy time of year for families and at school-will you have enough time to get everything done for the wedding, school, and Christmas?
Can everyone in both families clear their schedule for certain dates during the Christmas season?
WDW can be very crowded during the week of Christmas and especially the week after Christmas-not they you will notice the crowds though!

June Wedding:
Florida is extremely hot, even the first part of June!
Great time for an outdoor wedding!
More time to plan and spend time on the wedding after school is out.
End of the year is a very stressful time-I'm sure you deal with a lot of IEP's and meetings for your kids at the end of the year.

I would continue to use your maiden name until the following school year and let the parents know ahead of time that you're getting married and to expect to see a different name at the beginning of the new school year.

Hope this helps!

Good luck and best wishes to you both!!!!

 

[PrincesCJM]

I'm a high school teacher. I also got married last August. Since I frequently has students who are enrolled in my classes again, I was both Ms. M and Mrs. S this year. I think that will continue to occur until all of those students graduate. I have just learned to adapt to both names. Honestly I start to answer my students as soon as I hear Ms. I've been called so many wrong names and I don't even notice sometimes. I personally had more of struggle getting the school to change to my name everywhere. My email is finally linked to both names - helpful since I'm listed under both names on the school website. I've found it hard to adjust to signing my new name.

 

[alexensmom]

My main concern for the wedding date would be what is best for my family and friends that wanted to attend...and the honeymoon .

Either way, I would send a note to my kids parents to share the good news and let them help with the name change. I would reasure them that either name would be appropriate and each child could adjust at their own pace. I went from an easy to pronounce maiden name to a polish name also. I became Mrs. Z to the kids, even though my married name does not begin with Z. It sounds sounds like it does phonetically, so it was easier. That was 20 years ago and I still go by Mrs. Z to all my DDs friends and classmates.

 

[freckles and boo]

First of all, get married when YOU want to. I understand not wanting a long-term sub. I have a daughter with autism and change is sometimes hard. However, your kids will be fine.

Second - have you considered a quick slideshow or picture book for your kids? Visuals and photos really helped my daughter before she was verbal. They will feel included in your special day if you share some photos and explain the name change to them that way.

 

[daisyduck123]

I can't really imagine letting this issue drive my decision making,

My feelings exactly.

(and I teach as well)

 

[ksjayhawks]

Get married when you want to and just answer to either name. Are you going to be upset if someone calls you Miss______ ? I don't really see the big deal

Congratulations on your engagement!

Just what I was going to say. Answer to both and eventually the kids will change over.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Thanks for all of the opinions! I would definitely answer to both. God bless my kids, it has taken one student all year to learn how to say my name (which is a name for a very popular kids' food!), and my new name will be harder to say. Anytime Aaron subs even high school kids have problems with it, but he refuses to go by Mr. T. I wouldn't have a problem with being Mrs. T! It's kind of amusing because our assistant principal's maiden name is my maiden name, so every time she is in our building kids will come to my classroom with notes for her because the teacher's forget and tell them to go deliver a note to Ms. B.

I got married at Christmas and changed my name. I thought I'd go by both names, but pretty much everyone changed with no issues. My first graders were falling all over themselves to call me my new name. I had parents tell me they'd been "practicing" my new name over break.

I loved getting married at Christmas.

That's really cute that your kids practiced over break. I could totally see them doing that.

First of all, get married when YOU want to. I understand not wanting a long-term sub. I have a daughter with autism and change is sometimes hard. However, your kids will be fine.

Second - have you considered a quick slideshow or picture book for your kids? Visuals and photos really helped my daughter before she was verbal. They will feel included in your special day if you share some photos and explain the name change to them that way.

I love that idea. I remember going to one teacher's wedding and kicked around the idea of inviting them, but wasn't sure how appropriate that would be. That would be a nice way for them to see it.

 

[J3nn78]

I am a teacher that got married mid year. I changed my name as soon as I got back. Of course, it took a while for some to get used to it, but they adjusted.

 

[disykat]

I love that idea. I remember going to one teacher's wedding and kicked around the idea of inviting them, but wasn't sure how appropriate that would be. That would be a nice way for them to see it.

Since I was getting married an hour from my school I didn't invite my students. I had my husband come in and read a story to my class, we showed them a few pictures of us in our wedding dress/tux, and had a fancy "wedding cake." They loved it. They always wanted him to come read again - of course they expected if he did so he would bring cake!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Since I was getting married an hour from my school I didn't invite my students. I had my husband come in and read a story to my class, we showed them a few pictures of us in our wedding dress/tux, and had a fancy "wedding cake." They loved it. They always wanted him to come read again - of course they expected if he did so he would bring cake!

That's a really cute idea! I love having the fancy wedding cake for the kids. They would get such a kick out of that.

 

[Ember]

The kids will adjust, and as long you don't mind them slipping up then it doesn't matter.

I actually had the opposite problem. I kept my name and don't go by Mrs. (I was "Ms. W" before and I remained "Ms. W.") This messed the kids up royally, because they fully expected my name and title to change, which seeing as the vast majority of women do this is a reasonable expectation. We had to have several conversations about how you don't have to change your name when you get married and that yes, "Mrs." does mean you're married, but why do you have to go by that? "Mr." doesn't change when a man marries, so why should my title? I may have inadvertently created a class of feminists, because then every girl swore they weren't changing when they got married!

 

[dimimi]

I am a special education teacher too. I would get married whenever you want and not worry about the kids. If you get married in December, you will be talking about it and reminding the kids that you will have a new name. If they still call you by your old name...you can correct them...but it will be ok. The kids will adjust either way. Like you said, either way is an adjustment so I wouldn't let that be part of your decision.

The advantage to getting married after school is out is that you will have the summer to enjoy your new life and not worry about the busy school year. But once you are married you will be so excited that it won't matter! Enjoy this happy time in your life!