Teacher problem not sure what to do

[DisneyScraps]

To answer some of your other questions There isn't another class for her to go into it's a small school the 4th grade only has 9 students in it my DD, the teachers DD and 6 other kids I live in a small town with one of the worst school systems I have encountered. Even though we live in a nice area we are zoned for the worst elementary school in the country, the best school in the county isn't great this elementary school looks like an inner city slum.

There are only 2 other private school options. One is ultra conservative to the point where girls can only wear dresses or skirts to school and the Moms are encouraged to be wearing that when picking up their kids. The other private school uses the same curriculum as the public school and that isn't acceptable for us academically. If this school doesn't work it's home schooling or driving her an hour each way to a large metropolitan area where we would have lots of school choices. Plans are in the works to move there just not this year. I would happily home school her except her Father and I don't agree on that He wants her in school She is an only child and I do agree that she needs daily interaction of other kids. I try to get on the same page with her Father whenever possible but I realize that at the end of the week if this isn't changed to my satisfaction, we are going to have to disagree and I will be home schooling her.

I am not sure if she is accredited I forgot to ask that. It was never an issue too me my daughter has been taught by other teachers that weren't and those teachers were fantastic. I was told that they didn't hire teachers, they hired people that could teach. With the exception of this one teacher, every one of them seems happy to be there.

The other Mom that had the meeting today called me after and said she got the same response. We agreed that keeping the kids in school for one more week would be OK. It's actually starting a nice friendship her son and my daughter are talking in school and he really needed a friend.

What I told my daughter was there was some things going on that were not right She of course knows that it's wrong to yell at kids. I don't yell at her. I promised her that it was going to get better. I told her the teacher would be a lot nicer and we were all going to expect the kids to behave. Meaning, act the way you know you should act.

Again, that you all so much! I will keep this updated.

Lisa

 

[ccgirl]

I would pull her out if your not happy. If the teacher is making her feel bad, that not cool.

I would talk to your daughter about her language and the things she is saying at school. I think her talking about pulling a taco out of her butt out of line. I wouldn't be so quick to chalk it up to kids her age. I find that unacceptable at any age.

I agree with this. I hear so many parents using the excuse of their child's age or gender for poor behavior. This kind of talk is gross. Did the teacher say that kind of talk was gross, your daughter was being gross, or your daughter is gross. They are very different things.

My almost 20yo dd talks about how she was bullied in daycare by the religious teachers.

I truly do not understand how people treat children like garbage and think that they are doing you a favor.

I would set up ALL meetings from now on with the administrator present. I will bet she would not make you wait 40 mins ever again.

Yes, seek the administrator and then ask for a conference with all them present. Start a diary of incident reports and make sure you keep all correspondence. Try to get her to put things in writing.

This. I would request a meeting with the principal and teacher simultaneously. Write down everything you said here and present it to the principal the day you meet them.

My DD goes to a very small Catholic school. All the girls wear skirts or jumpers as part of their uniform. There is one class per grade K-8 so most of these kids have been together since K. Sure, there are clicks. Unfortunately, that is just part of life. However, at no time would any teacher talk to the students like that. It is a very warm, loving and inviting school. They do require religion class, however, you do not have to go to church. I think that is something people need to think about before sending their child to a religious institution. There was a teacher that lost her job for doing things she shouldn't be doing out of school. However, when she agreed to be a teacher there she agreed to certain conduct. There are kids in my DD's class that come from divorced parents, single parent homes that adopted, and students from married homes. I have never heard of any of the kids being judged because of it. I send my daughter there because I want the morals and values to be an extension of what is being taught at home. If I thought for a second she was being bullied by a teacher, and nothing was being done about it - I would pull her out in a heartbeat because that is no longer an extension of the values and morals I want her taught.

I can see how doing homework in the car would be very messy. Clipboard or no clipboard. Did you take the book away from her once you decided you did not like it? Were the appointments where the teacher made you late both scheduled?

While I think there is never a reason to treat anyone like that, especially not your own child, there are probably ways you could help her improve her neatness and the way she talks herself. My DD knows, if other students are speaking poorly you do not go right along to fit in. You stand tall and set an example for the other students. I'm not saying my child is perfect. She had to have a silent lunch and sit at a table by herself one day because she spoke during the silent part of lunch. My mom wanted to go right to school to yell at them. I explained she broke the rules and knew the consequences.

Religious school do tend to have a stricter set of guidelines. When the school is small it makes it even more difficult to get away with things.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Start looking around now for what homeschooling resources are available for you in the area. Even in a small area, if the schools are that bad you might be surprised what a network there may be. Check out yahoogroups.com-- I found most of mine there. Look on Facebook. Talk with your local librarian-- they will most likely know who the local homeschoolers are. I know that I had no idea what was around me until I decided to start homeschooling and then was surprised to find what was right in front of my eyes.

When I decided to pull my daughter out to homeschool due to unhappiness with the particular teacher and knowing it wouldn't get better for a few years I had 2 other parents that were just as unhappy and we all ended up pulling out to homeschool together. Instant social group! I had been exploring homeschooling for a month or so while working with the school to do everything I could to keep her there. It made it much easier when we finally hit the wall to already have the information that I needed, and I could make the decision with confidence.

If you can show her father that there are social opportunities available it may help him feel better about it. Even just in afterschool things like sports, girl scouts, church, and individual playdates she will get as much or more social interaction than while in school.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

WOW. Just WOW. OP i would pull my DD out.
I think a lot of people associate religious schools with being better educators. I know here where I live, they don't require certification. So that is in no way better than public school teachers. Private religious school teachers aren't certified and only need a BA or BS. OP, are there any non-religious private schools in your area? I can't understand wanting to give money to a school or anyone for that matter who looks down on your life choices. Good Luck!

 

[DisneyScraps]

I agree with this. I hear so many parents using the excuse of their child's age or gender for poor behavior. This kind of talk is gross. Did the teacher say that kind of talk was gross, your daughter was being gross, or your daughter is gross. They are very different things./QUOTE]


It was your daughter IS gross.

I was talking about what the administrator said to provide information about her feelings. I do not like my daughters conduct. When I was told about it we had a serious talk and she lost privileges. I am raising a lady and I expect her to talk like one.

Last evening when I was talking to my DD about the changes at school she said she was so happy and "I am almost looking forward to going to school tomorrow" so hopefully this goes well.

Lisa

 

[NHdisneylover]

It concerns me that the school placed this teacher in the grade her own child is in. It would make much more sense to have put the teacher in another grade and have someone else for fourth grade. That, combined with how the teacher has been, makes me think the school is not run professionally and with the students' best interests at heart.

I truly hope you do see the change you are looking for. If not, I homeschooled for 4 years in a very rural area and my kids had more social interaction during that time than they had had in school before hand They have SO many groups, classes, etc that you can be a part of these days it is just amazing.

 

[ccgirl]

It was your daughter IS gross.

I was talking about what the administrator said to provide information about her feelings. I do not like my daughters conduct. When I was told about it we had a serious talk and she lost privileges. I am raising a lady and I expect her to talk like one.

Last evening when I was talking to my DD about the changes at school she said she was so happy and "I am almost looking forward to going to school tomorrow" so hopefully this goes well.

Lisa

I really hopes it gets better. Nothing worse than your child being bullied. I had my DD bullied by another student. I can't imagine her own teacher. I think what you explained is bullying. I'm sorry; did you meet with the principal already? I really hope this teacher changes and acts like the Christian she is supposed to be. There are going to be a lot of children after your DD from "broken" homes as she calls them. A home is a home and as long as it is loving it is nobody's business. Best of luck to you.

It concerns me that the school placed this teacher in the grade her own child is in. It would make much more sense to have put the teacher in another grade and have someone else for fourth grade. That, combined with how the teacher has been, makes me think the school is not run professionally and with the students' best interests at heart.

I truly hope you do see the change you are looking for. If not, I homeschooled for 4 years in a very rural area and my kids had more social interaction during that time than they had had in school before hand They have SO many groups, classes, etc that you can be a part of these days it is just amazing.

This is a tiny school with only 1 class per grade and only like 6 students in it; according to the OP. So, there would be no other grade to be put in.

Certification requirements vary. The teachers in my DD's school are all certified teachers with at least a Master's degree.

OP - good luck with your situation. I'm glad your DD seems to have a positive outlook now.

 

[DisneyScraps]

My DD came home and said it was a good day. She said the teacher was "nice" and there was no yelling or snapping. So far so good. It's just the first day.

Lisa

 

[NHdisneylover]

I am so glad today went better.

I really hopes it gets better. Nothing worse than your child being bullied. I had my DD bullied by another student. I can't imagine her own teacher. I think what you explained is bullying. I'm sorry; did you meet with the principal already? I really hope this teacher changes and acts like the Christian she is supposed to be. There are going to be a lot of children after your DD from "broken" homes as she calls them. A home is a home and as long as it is loving it is nobody's business. Best of luck to you.



This is a tiny school with only 1 class per grade and only like 6 students in it; according to the OP. So, there would be no other grade to be put in.

Certification requirements vary. The teachers in my DD's school are all certified teachers with at least a Master's degree.

OP - good luck with your situation. I'm glad your DD seems to have a positive outlook now.

Sure they could have moved, say, the third grade teacher into the fourth grade and had this lady teach third so as to not have a conflict of interest with her daughter in the classroom.

 

[ccgirl]

My DD came home and said it was a good day. She said the teacher was "nice" and there was no yelling or snapping. So far so good. It's just the first day.

Lisa

SO glad to hear that. Here's hoping it continues!!!