Teacher problem not sure what to do

[design_mom]

How did they force you to sign this?

I don't think she was trying to insinuate that anyone held a gun to her head and said "you must sign." They said "This form is now required." and the OP signed the form without hesitationo, figuring she'd never want to pull her kid out because her history with the school had been entirely positive.

I am sorry, OP. I agree that the situation sounds bad. While I hope that for the other kids' sakes, something is done about the teacher, it might be too late to "fix it" with your daughter.

I had a teacher in high school who didn't like me for no apparent reason (and most of my teachers loved me). My parents went in for a conference, which they *never* did, to find out the problem. All the teacher said was "Kim and I have a personality conflict." I really don't see how that it possible. He never saw my personality -- I'd spend the entire class time trying to be invisible so he'd leave me alone!

 

[Disney Doll]

If someone was treating my kid this way, I'd be going in there and scorching the earth. Everyone in that school would rue the day they crossed me.

Pull the kid out of school and go in there with guns blazing to get your tuition $ back. I wouldn't waste my time trying to "fix" anything...clearly you're not welcome and your kid is the one who will bear the brunt of it.

By the time I was doine with that school, there name would be mud. I'd be calling the local papers, all the consumer advocate people, local new stations and anyone else I could think of.

 

[ADisneyQueen]

I think if you have a conference with the principal and tell him why you are pulling her out, they will not even ask for the rest of the tuition. It would cost them too much in collection fees to get the money from you and also they would not want you badmouthing the school.
Or did you pay up front for the whole year already?
My dd went to a small church school k-2 and the teachers there were wonderful. They would never stand for a rude teacher. Maybe the other staff do not know how bad she is.

 

[JLTraveling]

Please, please pull your DD out of the school immediately! You can fight for the money later, but your daughter's well being is the most important thing. I went through a similar situation at the age of ten. Now keep in mind that I have always been a major rule follower and tried my best to be perfect at school (no I didn't always succeed, but I went out of my way to keep my head down and avoid trouble).

Like you described, we were not members of that church and everything was extremely cliquish. My first year was fine. The second year we got a new headmaster who hated everything about me (I was advanced by several years). It started with classroom bullying similar to what you've described, and continued to escalate throughout the year. My parents were down at the school frequently, meeting with administrators, meeting with the pastor of the church...nothing helped. By the end of the year the administration was actively rewarding other children for bullying me, and the pastor was actively preaching on Sunday mornings that I was a devil and a demon!!

It all culminated one morning in April when I was called into the office. This headmaster spent better than 30 minutes screaming at me at top volume, calling me worthless, evil, stupid, and an abomination to the human race. He then beat the crap out of me with a thick wooden paddle and locked me in an office the size of a broom closet. He left me there all day with no food, no books or anything to do, and no access to a bathroom!

My parents went to the police, but at the time (mid-80s) there was nothing they could do! Apparently separation of church and state meant that church schools could get away with anything. The lawyer we talked to said the same thing. I'm 34 now and it literally took until a situation two weeks ago for me to work through the psychological damage. And I'm sure it's not all fully worked out yet, it's just better than it was.

I'm not saying things would go that far with your DD, and I'm pretty sure the things that happened to me would be illegal now. But no amount of money is worth taking the risk of permanently scarring your child. I hope it all works out!

 

[disney junky]

Get her out.
Don't even try to fight it.
It's their school. You won't win.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Is this woman even a certified teacher? I can't imagine she is.

 

[C.Ann]

If someone was treating my kid this way, I'd be going in there and scorching the earth. Everyone in that school would rue the day they crossed me.

Pull the kid out of school and go in there with guns blazing to get your tuition $ back. I wouldn't waste my time trying to "fix" anything...clearly you're not welcome and your kid is the one who will bear the brunt of it.

By the time I was doine with that school, there name would be mud. I'd be calling the local papers, all the consumer advocate people, local new stations and anyone else I could think of.

I agree.. And if they refuse to refund the tuition, I would tell them they would be hearing from my attorney - in conjuction with doing all of the above..

They are not going to want that kind of bad press and I think that getting your tuition back might be easier than you think..

Good luck!

 

[DisneyScraps]

I want to thank everyone for their words. Theyy brought tears to my eyes because I didn't want to be that parent that thinks that nothing is ever wrong with their kid and I was second guessing myself.

I called the administrator and she asked me what I wanted to meet about. She seemed quite receptive to me and gave me an appointment Monday morning. I was actually expecting a brick wall so I am encouraged.

My daughter had a field trip today and her Father went on it with her. He got to observe the teacher and said that she isn't cut out to be a teacher, he observed her yelling at the kids more than once and he said that she seemed stressed.

Monday I had planned not to send her because we have Drs appoointments so I will be able to deal with the administrator before having to face the dilema of sending her to school. I feel like I won't unless this is addressed.

Thanks to everyone you were the shoulder that I needed!

Lisa

 

[lovetoscrap]

That sounds great. Please let us know how it goes.

Will her father be able to attend the meeting also? If not I would see if he can write down what he observed so you can have that with you. And see if you can talk to that other mom that observed in the class over the weekend!


When I was in college and going through my various Student Teaching experiences (we had several) I was placed with a K teacher that had been switched from an upper grade. She was AWFUL. She seemed like a good teacher but NOT for Kindergarten. I was there for 2 days and called my adviser crying that I couldn't go back there. This woman expected the kids to do worksheets that required reading when NONE of them could read. She skipped recess every day because she felt they didn't deserve it because they were being so loud and rambunctious (DUH, they needed to go outside!). She put down them and their work if it wasn't correct (because they couldn't READ the directions) and on and on. My heart broke for those children.

My adviser came in to observe immediately (of course there to observe me not the teacher ) . I was pulled out of the class that day and given a new assignment. There was no way I could learn anything from her but what NOT to do. I actually still have a memento from that class that is the front of my portfolio, as a reminder of how to treat children. I was told the principal was in to observe the class the very next day and that the teacher was "reassigned" not long after.

Not every one is meant to teach, and not every teacher is the right fit for every grade. I would also be very interested in knowing if she is a certified teacher or even has an education background. I certainly would hope that they didn't hire her on the basis that she had homeschooled so she must know how to teach. I homeschooled and it is 100% a different world from that and being in charge of a classroom.

 

[GatorMommy2007]

Too many red flags. This woman has no tact whatsoever. I'd be getting my kid out of that classroom so fast your head would spin.

Ridiculous.

A question-do teachers in private schools have to be certified? For some reason, I was under the impression that they didn't but not sure where that came from.

Depending on state, no. That's why I left the school that I was at. There were "teachers" on staff who held high school diplomas.

 

[Ceila]

OP, good luck on Monday! Please let us know how it turns out!

 

[GatorMommy2007]

Oh, and it's teachers like this that give good teachers a bad name. It hurtsmy heart, and it really belittles our profession. 95% of teachers are professional, love kids, and only want the best for them. There are 5% out there who give the rest of us a bad name.

 

[RitaZ.]

Oh, and it's teachers like this that give good teachers a bad name. It hurtsmy heart, and it really belittles our profession. 95% of teachers are professional, love kids, and only want the best for them. There are 5% out there who give the rest of us a bad name.

Absolutely!

I still can't get over her "broken home" and "gross" comments. She is beyond unprofessional.

OP, I hope your meeting with the principal goes well. This is definitely one of those situations that you can't overlook. Good luck on Monday!

 

[agnes!]

OP -

I cannot stress this enough. Your husband really should go to the meeting with you. It doesn't matter if he doesn't say much, but *please* have him go with you. If he's not available, please consider having a friend go with you instead...I bet the principal will have the teacher there or another staffer.

There's strength in numbers.

agnes!

 

[laurafergie]

How did they force you to sign this?

Both private schools that my older kids attended (one was religious, the other military) had these clauses. It is for the parent that doesn't do their homework and for example, freaks out because Junior is receiving "religious instruction" or has to do push ups in Military school. LOL However. NOTHING is written in stone. Contract or no contract, small private schools do not want adverse publicity. Remember that.

OP, you sound like a lady with a plan. I would definitely have a statement from DD's father about what he observed. Go in that meeting with a written agenda and do not let the administrator deviate from it. Keep us updated and good luck.

 

[olwyngdh]

OP -

I cannot stress this enough. Your husband really should go to the meeting with you. It doesn't matter if he doesn't say much, but *please* have him go with you. If he's not available, please consider having a friend go with you instead...I bet the principal will have the teacher there or another staffer.

There's strength in numbers.

agnes!

yeah, what she said I think having a witness is probably a very good idea. If it is a witness that can keep you calm, all the better. I know I would be so angry in your shoes I would be shaking, crying, or yelling.

 

[RitaE]

I cannot even begin to describe how much I despise the phrase "Broken Home." It so derogatory.

I have not much advice. My older son attends a small Private High School and I'm frequently asked why I haven't enrolled my younger son there. I most likely will someday - but they have couple of 3rd and 4th grade teachers that are legendarily like what you've described. Favorite students (almost always girls, the ones connected to the BIG church names), blatant meanness, famous for yelling at kids, letting some students get away with near murder and then coming down on others for the nitpickiest crap you can imagine. My other sons never had them because they didn't start there until 5th grade/Jr. High -- but man I've heard the stories and having met the women in question, I fully believe the stories.

When somebody that I can be honest with asks me I say "Yeah right. Like I'm going to PAY TUITION for the privilege of subjecting my kid to those women? Forget it."

Best of luck at your meeting but I'm sorry to say be prepared to dis-enroll.

 

[Ceila]

OP -

I cannot stress this enough. Your husband really should go to the meeting with you. It doesn't matter if he doesn't say much, but *please* have him go with you. If he's not available, please consider having a friend go with you instead...I bet the principal will have the teacher there or another staffer.

There's strength in numbers.

agnes!

That is excellent advice. I know when I'm upset I don't always remember to say everything I want to say, even if I've prepared myself. Having someone else there would be an enormous help.

 

[laurie31]

That is excellent advice. I know when I'm upset I don't always remember to say everything I want to say, even if I've prepared myself. Having someone else there would be an enormous help.

It would also be good to write down everything you want to cover, maybe just make a list. You don't want to leave anything out.

And no, you are not one of "those" parents. When I first read this, I was so upset for your poor DD that I couldn't even type a response. I presume this is a Christian school and I am not so naive to think that Christians can't be mean and hateful, but I'm mortified that someone in a position *representing the church* could treat a child like scum.

I also agree that homeschooling does NOT prepare anyone to teach in a classroom. I homeschool and I know my OWN children. I have no delusions about being qualifed to teach a group of children or even maintain order in a classroom! That is a gift I do not possess. And it sounds like this lady (and I use that term loosely) does not possess it either!

Get your sweet baby away from her!! Good luck on Monday!

 

[pandora174]

I agree with everyone about being your child's advocate. I'm 41 & I still remember my 3rd grade teacher was just a nasty, gossipy woman.

Her attitude to me never affected my grades since I was an A student but I still remember one day, we had to bring in a baby picture & read a small family story about when you were a baby. Well I finished in front of the class & proudly showed my picuture.

She looked at it & then me up & down & said " What happened ? with an eww face" I had acne, I had brown hair & brown eyes & as a baby I had reddish hair & green eyes I always felt like she didn't like me, always saying things like "oh here's another 100 from you again" with a smirk. Yes it was a small private religious school & I was from a "broken home" & my mother never went to church. Thankfully my other teachers were nice but she was my homeroom teacher.

After that the kids felt like it was ok to point out my acne I never told my mom though & I wish I had