Teacher Phone Calls

[badblackpug]

I'm basing that part of my post on this:

AP tells me to talk to the teacher whenever there are any questions. A couple times I call the teacher and we don't reach eachother

I don't know if the teacher said she'd call, but it sounds like the OP has made several attempts to contact the teacher.

I would also assume that if the assistant principal is saying that the teacher should know, then that the teacher should know.

The problem being is that this wasn't the original post. The original post stated nothing about how the OP attempted to call the teacher "several times" without reaching her. The original post stated that she was unable to talk to the teacher during morning hours due to her son's needs, and unwilling to rearrange her afternoon work schedule because in the past another teacher has said they would call and did not. There was never a point where this teacher was supposed to call and did not. There was never a definitive time set up for a telephone call. The story evolved as the thread went along. It went more from "the teacher should call me when I am available because we have extraordinary issues." to "I have tried to communicate with the teacher and she is not communicating."

Subsequent posts went on to say that public school teachers treat children like numbers and private schools do not, and that teachers can't see beyond their own "bubble." At one point she suggested that people/teacher were "clueless."

I think the subsequent posts are what got people so riled up.

There are a lot of public school teachers that go the extra mile. There are a lot that give up their personal time for their students, but there are some that just can't or won't for whatever reasons. That needs to be respected. I don't think it is fair to expect a call outside of the teacher's posted hours. I know that teachers have been burned in the past by parents abusing the privilege of the after hours call or the private information. I am not saying the OP would do this, but maybe the teacher, like the OP (who was reluctant to change her work schedule because she had been burned in the past) has been in this situation.

Again, if I felt that this were an emergency that involved my child's safety you can bet I would be at the school in person. If the teacher is truly refusing to communicate, then that is wrong, and the VP should be involved and concrete plans set up for a date and time in which to meet or communicate.

I think the implied insult to public school teachers was what was offensive. Both to parents whose children attend public school, as if to suggest that we are offering our children a substandard education, and, especially, to public school teachers, who often times give their all with little or no appreciation.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

The problem being is that this wasn't the original post. The original post stated nothing about how the OP attempted to call the teacher "several times" without reaching her. The original post stated that she was unable to talk to the teacher during morning hours due to her son's needs, and unwilling to rearrange her afternoon work schedule because in the past another teacher has said they would call and did not. There was never a point where this teacher was supposed to call and did not. There was never a definitive time set up for a telephone call. The story evolved as the thread went along. It went more from "the teacher should call me when I am available because we have extraordinary issues." to "I have tried to communicate with the teacher and she is not communicating."

I cut that line from the post at the top of the thread. I don't know how to double quote, but it's a literal cut and paste. The OP has been edited but it says only for spelling. Certainly, by the time I got there, the post pretty clearly said, she tried to address it, both by going to the AP, and by calling more than once. It also stated why calling repeatedly or freeing up her schedule to wait for a return call is super challenging for her. As for not having a definite time, if a parent calls me, and I don't call me back, how are we supposed to set up a definite time? And if I do call back, we wouldn't need to set up a time?

I guess it's possible that the OP edited the original post for more than just spelling, between the time you read it and I did, it's also possible that you glossed over that line when you read it the first time. I'm not sure there's any way to know.

I will also add, again, that I'm a public school teacher, have been for many years, and I don't see the insult here. She's not demonizing the teacher, she's asking for help figuring out a solution.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I guess it's possible that the OP edited the original post for more than just spelling, between the time you read it and I did, it's also possible that you glossed over that line when you read it the first time. I'm not sure there's any way to know.

OK, just noticed that the edit was made 6 minutes after the original post, and half an hour before anyone replied, so whether or not it was more extensive than a mispelled word (what you seem to be implying), it wasn't made in response to any comments in the thread, and it seems unlikely that more than one or two people read it.

 

[badblackpug]

I cut that line from the post at the top of the thread. I don't know how to double quote, but it's a literal cut and paste. The OP has been edited but it says only for spelling. Certainly, by the time I got there, the post pretty clearly said, she tried to address it, both by going to the AP, and by calling more than once. It also stated why calling repeatedly or freeing up her schedule to wait for a return call is super challenging for her. As for not having a definite time, if a parent calls me, and I don't call me back, how are we supposed to set up a definite time? And if I do call back, we wouldn't need to set up a time?

I guess it's possible that the OP edited the original post for more than just spelling, between the time you read it and I did, it's also possible that you glossed over that line when you read it the first time. I'm not sure there's any way to know.

I will also add, again, that I'm a public school teacher, have been for many years, and I don't see the insult here. She's not demonizing the teacher, she's asking for help figuring out a solution.

You're right, my bad. Maybe I did miss it. ...and I stated in previous posts that if the teacher is not returning calls in a reasonable time period that the teacher is wrong, regardless of whether the child has particular needs or not. Again, if this is the case then the specific attempts should be documented and brought to the VP so he/she can intervene on the parent's and child's behalf. I have been down that road with a teacher. We involved the VP and things went more smoothly, although the relationship was a bit antagonistic from there.

...but to the original question...is it unreasonable to expect the teacher to call parents on her personal time? Yes. One does not know the circumstances of her personal life, or what responsibilities she has outside of school. If any, but that is not really anyone's business.

 

[Arabella1978]

You're right, my bad. Maybe I did miss it. ...and I stated in previous posts that if the teacher is not returning calls in a reasonable time period that the teacher is wrong, regardless of whether the child has particular needs or not. Again, if this is the case then the specific attempts should be documented and brought to the VP so he/she can intervene on the parent's and child's behalf. I have been down that road with a teacher. We involved the VP and things went more smoothly, although the relationship was a bit antagonistic from there.

...but to the original question...is it unreasonable to expect the teacher to call parents on her personal time? Yes. One does not know the circumstances of her personal life, or what responsibilities she has outside of school. If any, but that is not really anyone's business.

Perhaps no one should EXPECT it, but then again we DO EXPECT that our teacher's will be able to perform all their duties competently, which includes communication with parents. If a teacher cannot fit parent communication into 'contracted' hours, then the teacher has two choices. 1. Do it after 'contracted' hours. 2. Find another job.

 

[jodim]

I haven't read all the responses so forgive me if this has already been posted...

I suggest you call the Principle and set up an appointment between yourself, the principle and the teacher.

I would also buy a little mini recorder and start taping all conversations, that way she wont forget the incidents as readily.

 

[miknminniesfriend]

When I returned to work after reading the disturbing responses from some teachers on this thread, I discussed it with teachers I work with. Their responses made me feel better as every teacher except one said they prefer to work in school hours, but since it is not always possible, they would have no problem making a phone call after school hours particularly given the OPs situation. The other one said she has given out her phone number and it has not been abused and went into this profession to be there for kids and it has not harmed her family. I wanted to share that with OP as well as other parents on this thread who were not getting a "warm, fuzzy feeling" from the teachers talking about that their time is their time and Op should just make arrangements, and the ridiculous assumptions ( OP does not want to inconvenience herself but wants the teacher to, OP went back in 6 mins and changed the original post, teacher probably thinks OP is a problem, etc). Do they really think it is more appropriate for a parent of a terminally ill child who has a concern to wait until they can make an appt and take off work to talk to the teacher, then for the teacher to take a few minutes of "her" time to talk to the parent when they were unable to connect? As a teacher, I would think her life is difficult enough without me making it more difficult. It is not like she has spoken to the teacher weekly. These are all public school teachers who would make a call for a student. A coworker who, then, read here said there seems to be a big problem with the word expect. This was not OPs word. She asked for opinions and if others had received or made calls in the evening, because this response from a teacher she needed to speak to was not one she had encountered with her other children before. I got the impression she wanted to know if it was a public school thing. As far as what to expect from someone else because "my child is my responsibility" as on PP said- If my 6yo was waiting for an elevator and the door opened with no elevator and I was several feet back while another adult was right beside her, I would hope they would put their arm out to protect her from stepping into the shaft, even though she is my responsibility. Strong example, I know, but sometimes, even though something is not in your job description and you don't have to do it, it's the right thing to do. A little kindness and compassion can go a long way.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

It's 8:20 here, EST. Just hung up from ds9's public school teacher. She just wanted to touch base with me and let me know how much better his behavior has been, more mature, deeper conversation and expressive of his feelings, etc. She called earlier but by the time I found and grabbed the phone, I dropped it on the tile floor and it wouldn't answer. I quick called her back and she apoligized that she was already on the other line with another parent and she'd call me back.

I would never abuse having her home ph #. I feel the ball is in her court so to speak and since she spends 6.5 hrs per day with him, she'll contact me if there are any issues. Any other communication is by email.

This thread reminds me how much I appreciate our teachers. Tonight's experience is how it's been for us since ds13 started kindergarten.
Makes me a lot less crabby to pay our ridiculous $8k in property taxes knowing 90% of it goes to public education.

 

[kellyw8863]

Not to revive what should be a dead thread by now, but I feel like most of the teachers' comments here have been taken out of context. Let me summarize my understanding lest anyone read this and think that this country is populated by uncaring, selfish teachers.

1. In regards to the OP's situation, I don't think there was a single teacher who said that she personally would not make an exception to call a parent after hours if there were extenuating circumstances.

2. Most (if not all) teachers who responded that teachers work a set amount of hours and should not be expected to work outside of those hours (with the exception of planning/grading, etc) were responding to a GENERAL expectation and attitude that teachers are public servants who should avail themselves to their constituency on an as needed basis.

3. Those who suggested that the OP set up a formal arrangement so that she can speak with her son's teacher were not suggesting that her son's needs could wait, rather they were suggesting that if she and the teacher were truly at an impasse that perhaps a meeting is the next logical step.

And, my comment that "my child is my responsibility" (assuming that the pp is addressing my previous post) has been taken grossly out of context. It was not said to imply that the teacher should not give a little and show some compassion. But, if my child is not getting what she needs in order to keep her healthy and safe, then yes, my child is my responsibility, and with that, it is my job to make sure she gets what she needs. If that means setting up an appointment, marching my butt into her school, and having a face to face meeting, then you can bet I will do what I need to do for her well-being. It stinks that so often that's what it comes to, but as I live it, I accept that it is what it is.

 

[Minniemama350]

Not to revive what should be a dead thread by now, but I feel like most of the teachers' comments here have been taken out of context. Let me summarize my understanding lest anyone read this and think that this country is populated by uncaring, selfish teachers.

1. In regards to the OP's situation, I don't think there was a single teacher who said that she personally would not make an exception to call a parent after hours if there were extenuating circumstances.

2. Most (if not all) teachers who responded that teachers work a set amount of hours and should not be expected to work outside of those hours (with the exception of planning/grading, etc) were responding to the expectation and attitude that teachers are public servants who should avail themselves to their constituency on an as needed basis.

3. Those who suggested that the OP set up a formal arrangement so that she can speak with her son's teacher were not suggesting that her son's needs could wait, rather they were suggesting that if she and the teacher were truly at an impasse that perhaps a meeting is the next logical step.

 

[Scurvy]

And, my comment that "my child is my responsibility" (assuming that the pp is addressing my previous post) has been taken grossly out of context. It was not said to imply that the teacher should not give a little and show some compassion. But, if my child is not getting what she needs in order to keep her healthy and safe, then yes, my child is my responsibility, and with that, it is my job to make sure she gets what she needs. If that means setting up an appointment, marching my butt into her school, and having a face to face meeting, then you can bet I will do what I need to do for her well-being. It stinks that so often that's what it comes to, but as I live it, I accept that it is what it is.

I'm surprised this thread is still hanging on.

I also made a comment about my child being my responsibilty. Mine was in response to the fact that the OP seemed so reluctant to rearrange her work schedule in the afternoon so she could talk to the teacher (because of the actions of someone else, not the current teacher) and yet seemed to think that the teacher ought to rearrange her after-school time to contact the parent. I believe that if someone needs to make a sacrifice of time for my child, it should be me and not the teacher if that is at all possible. And I agree that as parents, if we have to rearrange our time to go to school in person to talk to the teacher then that's what we have to do.

As I said earlier, I would hope that all teachers would make calls outside of school hours for the good of the child if there was no other viable option. (Certainly everyone I know would if it were necessary.) My impression from this thread was that there was another viable option, just not one that the OP wanted to use if she could avoid it. And that's understandable, but personally think I should first do everything I can as a parent in order to communicate with the teacher, before expecting her to give up any of her private time. I know nothing about the private lives of my child's teachers. They could be caretakers for ailing parents, or they could be ill themselves, or they could have a hundred other things that they have to deal with in their personal lives. I think it's unreasonable to think less of them simply because they prefer to conduct school business during school hours whenever possible.

 

[miknminniesfriend]

Actually, there were several teachers who said they would not make a call after school hours, not that they try to avoid it when possible. That is what I found concerning was the rigidity. I think the OP was pretty clear that she does change her schedule, as I am sure would be a necessity for both school and medical.
I was referring to Scurvy's responsibility comment, which was made amongst many rude comments.

 

[bwilcox]

Again, MOST teachers that have posted here did not say they would never call after hours, they said they shouldn't just be expected to, which is what the OP's ORIGINAL question made it sound like. I, and most teachers I know, would accommodate someone in the OP's situation. However, that is because I care about my students, not because it is part of the job description and I am expected to do it. Maybe I missed a few posts, but I don't recall anyone saying they would never call the parent of a terminally ill student in the evening. We have just been trying to explain why teachers who do not call parents in the evenings are not "bad teachers," "uncaring," or "in our own bubble," all of which has been stated in this thread.

 

[Scurvy]

Actually, there were several teachers who said they would not make a call after school hours, not that they try to avoid it when possible. That is what I found concerning was the rigidity. I think the OP was pretty clear that she does change her schedule, as I am sure would be a necessity for both school and medical.
I was referring to Scurvy's responsibility comment, which was made amongst many rude comments.

I think your elevator comment really isn't at all comparable to the actual situation in this thread. The fact is that parents are responsible for their own children. If someone has to make a sacrifice for the child, it should be the parent whenever possible. I would hope that any bystander would help to keep someone else (child or adult) from being killed, but sticking your arm out to stop someone from falling down an elevator shaft is a far cry from a teacher using her personal time to contact a parent who won't rearrange her work schedule for the afternoon. I would hope that when it is absolutely necessary a teacher would sacrifice her time for the good of a student, but I think that should only be necessary if it's absolutely impossible for the parent to make any sacrifice of her own time.

I have spent every minute of my personal time today sitting in the hospital with my father, waiting to see if he has pancreatic cancer (he does) and I only left when he was going to sleep. I wouldn't sacrifice one second of that time to call a parent who could rearrange her work schedule and arrange a time talk to me during work hours but chooses not to. Sorry if that seems selfish to you, but frankly I don't care. The fact is that the majority of teachers on this thread were not rigid about never calling during their personal time, and the ones who are probably have very good reasons for that rigidity.

 

[miknminniesfriend]

I am a teacher and I am available by phone ONLY during my contracted school hours.

Here is the first of several which is why I responded to the statement "I don't think there was one single teacher said they would not........"

 

[Zeebs]

I think your elevator comment really isn't at all comparable to the actual situation in this thread. The fact is that parents are responsible for their own children. If someone has to make a sacrifice for the child, it should be the parent whenever possible. I would hope that any bystander would help to keep someone else (child or adult) from being killed, but sticking your arm out to stop someone from falling down an elevator shaft is a far cry from a teacher using her personal time to contact a parent who won't rearrange her work schedule for the afternoon. I would hope that when it is absolutely necessary a teacher would sacrifice her time for the good of a student, but I think that should only be necessary if it's absolutely impossible for the parent to make any sacrifice of her own time.

I have spent every minute of my personal time today sitting in the hospital with my father, waiting to see if he has pancreatic cancer (he does) and I only left when he was going to sleep. I wouldn't sacrifice one second of that time to call a parent who could rearrange her work schedule and arrange a time talk to me during work hours but chooses not to. Sorry if that seems selfish to you, but frankly I don't care. The fact is that the majority of teachers on this thread were not rigid about never calling during their personal time, and the ones who are probably have very good reasons for that rigidity.

Hope your Dad will be ok.

Kirsten

 

[disneyjunkie]

Scurvy I hope all goes well with your dad.

When I returned to work after reading the disturbing responses from some teachers on this thread, I discussed it with teachers I work with. Their responses made me feel better as every teacher except one said they prefer to work in school hours, but since it is not always possible, they would have no problem making a phone call after school hours particularly given the OPs situation. The other one said she has given out her phone number and it has not been abused and went into this profession to be there for kids and it has not harmed her family. I wanted to share that with OP as well as other parents on this thread who were not getting a "warm, fuzzy feeling" from the teachers talking about that their time is their time and Op should just make arrangements, and the ridiculous assumptions ( OP does not want to inconvenience herself but wants the teacher to, OP went back in 6 mins and changed the original post, teacher probably thinks OP is a problem, etc). Do they really think it is more appropriate for a parent of a terminally ill child who has a concern to wait until they can make an appt and take off work to talk to the teacher, then for the teacher to take a few minutes of "her" time to talk to the parent when they were unable to connect? As a teacher, I would think her life is difficult enough without me making it more difficult. It is not like she has spoken to the teacher weekly. These are all public school teachers who would make a call for a student. A coworker who, then, read here said there seems to be a big problem with the word expect. This was not OPs word. She asked for opinions and if others had received or made calls in the evening, because this response from a teacher she needed to speak to was not one she had encountered with her other children before. I got the impression she wanted to know if it was a public school thing. As far as what to expect from someone else because "my child is my responsibility" as on PP said- If my 6yo was waiting for an elevator and the door opened with no elevator and I was several feet back while another adult was right beside her, I would hope they would put their arm out to protect her from stepping into the shaft, even though she is my responsibility. Strong example, I know, but sometimes, even though something is not in your job description and you don't have to do it, it's the right thing to do. A little kindness and compassion can go a long way.

Anyone else find it odd that a new poster found this thread? Not only that, but 5 out of 6 of their posts are on this thread.

 

[Scurvy]

Thanks you, Zeebs and disneyjunkie. We should find out today or tomorrow whether chemo is an option. Needless to say we're hoping he'll get through this okay.

I'm sorry for derailing the thread like this. I don't normally discuss such personal things on here but I was just getting sick of some of the ridiculous comments on this thread. I shouldn't have to explain why my personal time is so precious right now. No one should have to. The fact is that people (teachers or not) should never be expected to use their personal time to deal with work issues for someone else unless that is literally the only option. The parent's time is valuable, but so is the teacher's time. If one of the two has to sacrifice some of that time for the good of the student, it should be the parent whenever possible.

No teacher owes the parents of her students (or some random person on a message board) an explanation of why she doesn't want to conduct school work in her own time. Sure, there are bad teachers out there who don't care about their students but in my experience they are far from the norm. The vast majority of teachers chose that profession because they care about kids. If they can do something to help those kids at school, they do. If they have to use their personal time for their students, they do. If they have hours available during school and see a parent who appears to be unwilling to make sacrifices in order to take advantage of those hours, they will likely assume that the issue isn't important enough to require that they sacrifice some of their time. If a parent contacts them and explains that it is literally impossible for them to communicate during the posted hours, most teachers will work with them to find a time that will work for both of them.

 

[VanessainWonderland]

I am a teacher, and I deeply care for my students.

I would definitely absolutely make time to call a parent, even if it meant eating lunch and being on the phone at the same time. (Doesn not necessarily have to be after school)

Where I teach, most parents are impossible to reach. So I would be thrilled if a parent was concerned!

 

[voxy]

children need to bring a cellphone in any place for their safe because in this time many of accident happened around the world that's why they need communication to communicate their family as long as they can