Teacher Phone Calls

[disneyandme]

I think people misunderstood my comment about drs and lawyers- if they take time out to help after hrs., they are wonderful and if they don't most people don't think twice about it. But, when a teacher does things after hrs, it's expected and if not she/he is selfish. I worked many years in schools where the only time parents were available was after 10pm. I was willing to take called then, but most teachers I worked with thought I was crazy to allow it.
OP- if you have medical or safety concerns that are not being addressed or the teacher/school is in violation of the child's IP or 504, take a day off, go into the principal's office and sit until the issue is resolved. Get everything in writing, contact an advocate if necessay.

 

[dogluva]

Most teachers in the elementary school give out their home numbers. I would send in a note expressing that you need to speak with her and here is your number you are available these times- giving her the option of when to call you that also fits into your schedule.

We had one teacher through the years say I am available during 8-8:15. She was giving you a 15 minute window- when the buses all come at that time. So nobody would be home to do that time frame phone call. I had an issue- I emailed her and we discovered that email worked best for us.

Why do you have to talk it out? Email may be a better option. Having things in WRITING is always a good thing.

What? I have been a teacher for 19 years and have never met a teacher, elementary or whatever, who gives out her home phone number. You cannot be serious. This is crazy and I don't even think it is allowed (not that I would ever do it!).

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I think people misunderstood my comment about drs and lawyers- if they take time out to help after hrs., they are wonderful

And they charge you

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Would you expect your doctor to take 10 minutes out of her private life to address a concern? Your Lawyer? Why are teachers' private lives seen as less valuable? While it doesn't sound like this teacher is doing as good of a job as she can in connecting with the OP, we don't know her story at all. The expectaation has become in many areas of the country that teachers should be available (and happily) 24/7. OP- it may be overkill, but if you can't connect on the phone with the teacher, you need to set up a face to face meeting. Maybe you can come to an understanding about phone calls at that time.

Ummmm... YES!!!!
My pediatrician calls me at 7:30 pm once all of her patients have gone. My OB/GYN has called at almost 9 pm to discuss test results and same with MRI results from my family dr. Once I had an awful UTI and paged the oncall dr at my GYN's office and he called me back while at a party. I apologized again and again but he said that's just how his life is and didn't mind calling in an antibiotic to my pharmacy.
Surgeons have it far worse and are barely home. No one forces them into that career path. I've worked in radiology for almost 20 yrs and have had residents tell me they know others who went into dermatology b/c there is almost no 'being on call' involved.
That said, you can't compare to a teacher. Besides years of education, salary is a huge spread. Our radiologists rarely get a lunch break and when I tell them it's not fair, everyone deserves a break, I was told they get paid enough to not worry about lunch.

Lawyers bill clients big $$$$ per minute, teachers can't.

ETA btw: our radiologists also stay late after our patients have gone to call other patients with their biopsy results. It's the only quiet time at our place and most people are at work earlier in the day anyway. Not many patients want that kind of phone call at work either.

 

[dogluva]

This bothers me. I am not married and I don't have kids, but my time is just as important to me as my colleagues time is to them. The teacher should not be expected to do things that other teachers are not doing just because of her family makeup. I have a dog that I have to get home to. To me, that's just as important.

You have to be willing to work with the teacher and not blame her for not having time when you have time.

I mentioned that I do call parents from my cell phone (I don't openly hand out my number though) and some of them will call me back on that number because I don't block it. I had a parent recently that called me 4 times in one day and left messages at school. The secretary said she was getting nastier each time. The problem? That day I had a prep period in the morning. I didn't get the first message until lunch and I tried to call her on my lunch period, I got her voicemail and left a message saying I was trying to return her call. If I'm teaching, there is no option for me to call or answer a call. I tried again after school, went right to voicemail again. When I got home, I turned my cell phone off. When I turned it back on the next morning there was a voicemail message from the mother from 9:47 the night before and she said, "I guess you don't want to talk to me" Honestly, I really don't at that time.

Wow. I totally agree. Everyone's time is as valuable regardless of if they are married or not, or have kids or no kids.

 

[dogluva]

Wow, we must be really lucky. Our teachers often call in the evenings, even on Saturdays, just to touch base and let me know how my boys are doing. Our teachers very often give their home # and address too. I wouldn't call them at home but have sent holiday and thank you cards. I'm not sure that they've done it every year but many, many years they have.

My little ds's 1st grade teacher would call me on a Sat to discuss ds (not just negatives, some positives too), we'd end up chatting about Disney, Disney cruises, what to do to keep up his reading & math skills while on the cruise such as miles sailed, show him distance traveling on a world map, etc. While on the phone, I can hear her kids inquire who she's talking to and she'd tell them "________'s mom". Her kids would say, "Oohhh! Let me talk to _________!" (her kids went to after school care with __________ so they do know him.) Once our conversation was done our kids would chat a while.

I can't imagine having to have a face to face meeting for everything b/c a teacher isn't sure he/she is really speaking to me.

Both have ADHD, one very mild, other severe and has an IEP. Many times, esp for the annual IEP review, we have our conference by phone when I can't get off work. (I work in a hospital so limited # of staff can be off at same time. Dh is not good at dealing with this stuff as he should have had an IEP himself but instead was beaten daily by nuns; that's another story.) My boss knows ahead of time that I will be 'off the floor' once I get the phone call. The meeting time is planned ahead and though they try to stick to a schedule, it's not always exact. Our CST has day after day of IEP annual meetings and they have it down pat. Some members are there in the meeting room all day, others come and go such as reg teachers, sped teachers, speech, OT etc. depending on the needs of each child. Once they're all assembled, they call my work and put me on speaker phone.

OP: Maybe by email, you and your son's teacher could set a very specific date and time to have a phone call. Just b/c others have stood you up, don't assume this teacher will also. This way you don't cancel work plans unless you both agree to have this phone call at the specified time. You should also have a firm plan as to who is going to initiate the call and you're both in agreement that the other person will be ready to receive the call.
Good luck!

There really has to be some boundaries. A teacher has a life, I happen to have six kids and would never, ever, ever give my home phone or address to any of my students' families.

 

[Arabella1978]

I think a lot of people on this thread haven't really read between the lines here. I don't think the OP believes that it would be okay to call the teacher at home at all hours of the night, or even believes that she should be on call for her or anything.

What I think we're looking at is a mom who has earnestly tried to reach the teacher during the call hours she gave her, but the teacher is unreachable. The OP wondered if it's normal for a teacher to not have any flexibility to call at another time of day.


So I think most of us agree that teachers off work hours shouldn't be used up by being on call for their student's parents. Teachers have private lives and kids and other things to do.

But I also don't think it's wrong for the OP mom to believe that GIVEN the circumstances, (A terminally ill child), that perhaps the teacher could find a FEW minutes somewhere in her school day or after work to touch base with the parent of said child, with medical concerns. (Especially since she hasn't been available during her posted call times). I guess it's not MANDATORY, but it's definitely a special circumstance. I guess the better question here would be, have the teachers here who absolutlely say they would not call a parent after the school day is over, ever had a terminally ill child in their classroom? What if you had a kid with Cancer in your room who was dying? Would you ever call the mom or dad after 4pm if they had a concern and you couldn't connect via phone during the school day? I guess I just wonder why someone would be so extrememly inflexible that they wouldn't allow the possibility of a special circumstance? And really, if it's a worry that you are opening a precedent for other parent's to take advantage of, well how would they even know? And even if they found out why would saying, "Sorry but this child in question is terminally ill, this is a special circumstance" not be enough of an explanation?

 

[Leajess99]

OP here- Oh, my- is this the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time I have said, we have had mult meetings, I have told her I am available M, W or F at 1, or whenever between 1 or 2, pick a date. Emails have been sent, she apparently did not understand. As I said, it would take pages to explain what has happened. As I said, my son has a prgogressive disease, on occ things come up that can't wait til a conference/meeting and if shes not available when I call during her hours there's not much more I can do. As stated mult times, we have met always during school hours, sometimes things come up that need attention sooner, sometiumes she does not answer the phone during her hours, etc. For some reason "on call" and calls at all hours keeps coming up, which I stated I would not be calling her. 2 different things- giving out a number and being on call at all hours and being willing to bend a little to help make a dying child's life a little less frustrating.
Other PPs -Thanks for helping to reexplain what I have said. I also think it is heartless when she knows this little boy is not expected to live, that she would not make the effort to connect that day to prevent the frustration related to staff not meeting his needs that have been explained at one of many meetings during school hours, from occurring the next day, or next, or next. I guess it comes down to a job is a job to some people. To some of us, the people we work with are humans. I have answered my cell phone on Sunday when a client has called and helped them- no I am not on the clock, just human.

As far as doctors, yes I have had several take 10 mins out of their personal life to call- guess my son is more than a number. Do I expect it legally? No.

If it is in reference to other staff not meeting his needs than I would not be contacting the teacher, I would be contacting the Principal as it is his/her issue to take care of. A teacher should not be held responsible for other staff members and the teacher could be explaining it correctly to the staff and them not listening to her. Not everyone in a school listens to a teacher. The teacher may have told the music teacher something and the music teacher just blow her off. Seriously, if it is not something the teacher is doing than call the principal ASAP.

 

[Leajess99]

I think a lot of people on this thread haven't really read between the lines here. I don't think the OP believes that it would be okay to call the teacher at home at all hours of the night, or even believes that she should be on call for her or anything.

What I think we're looking at is a mom who has earnestly tried to reach the teacher during the call hours she gave her, but the teacher is unreachable. The OP wondered if it's normal for a teacher to not have any flexibility to call at another time of day.


So I think most of us agree that teachers off work hours shouldn't be used up by being on call for their student's parents. Teachers have private lives and kids and other things to do.

But I also don't think it's wrong for the OP mom to believe that GIVEN the circumstances, (A terminally ill child), that perhaps the teacher could find a FEW minutes somewhere in her school day or after work to touch base with the parent of said child, with medical concerns. (Especially since she hasn't been available during her posted call times). I guess it's not MANDATORY, but it's definitely a special circumstance. I guess the better question here would be, have the teachers here who absolutlely say they would not call a parent after the school day is over, ever had a terminally ill child in their classroom? What if you had a kid with Cancer in your room who was dying? Would you ever call the mom or dad after 4pm if they had a concern and you couldn't connect via phone during the school day? I guess I just wonder why someone would be so extrememly inflexible that they wouldn't allow the possibility of a special circumstance? And really, if it's a worry that you are opening a precedent for other parent's to take advantage of, well how would they even know? And even if they found out why would saying, "Sorry but this child in question is terminally ill, this is a special circumstance" not be enough of an explanation?

You may think that is "enough of an explanation" but other parents will not agree and this opens up a huge problem for teachers. The teacher will then be faced with complaints of discrimination, favortism, etc for making that call outside their posted time to one parent and not the other parents. And again, we do NOT know what the teacher has going on after school. Said teacher may be working as a private tutor, caring for her sick parents, etc and may just not have that time. We also do NOT know the school policy on this nor do we know what is written in their contracts. We have one side of the story to go off of.

OP: What about giving your son some earphones to listen to music while you talk to his teacher if he is home?? He would then not be able to hear you. I also realize he is in Kindergarten but does he know what is happening to him medically?? I would really talk to him if he doesn't as he probably feels frustrated that he is deteriorating and has no idea why.

 

[Arabella1978]

You may think that is "enough of an explanation" but other parents will not agree and this opens up a huge problem for teachers. The teacher will then be faced with complaints of discrimination, favortism, etc for making that call outside their posted time to one parent and not the other parents. And again, we do NOT know what the teacher has going on after school. Said teacher may be working as a private tutor, caring for her sick parents, etc and may just not have that time. We also do NOT know the school policy on this nor do we know what is written in their contracts. We have one side of the story to go off of.

OP: What about giving your son some earphones to listen to music while you talk to his teacher if he is home?? He would then not be able to hear you. I also realize he is in Kindergarten but does he know what is happening to him medically?? I would really talk to him if he doesn't as he probably feels frustrated that he is deteriorating and has no idea why.

Wow that is so sad that there are so many parents out there who are so unreasonable. I can't ever imagine crying discrimination if my kids' teacher devoted a little more parent communication time to a kid that was terminally ill. That's just disgusting. But how would the other parents even know?

I think your idea about headphones is an EXCELLENT idea!!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Wow that is so sad that there are so many parents out there who are so unreasonable. I can't ever imagine crying discrimination if my kids' teacher devoted a little more parent communication time to a kid that was terminally ill. That's just disgusting. But how would the other parents even know?

I think your idea about headphones is an EXCELLENT idea!!

I agree. If there was a student at our school in that situation, I would hope the teachers could recognize that this isn't a typical situation and I'd hope they give the family the support they need. It's not like every parent in the class would be contacting the teacher as often as OP might need to.

 

[nicki.momof3]

parents of a child with significant medical issues as to what their experience has been, thoughts are.

There are a lot of people and teachers who live in their own little bubble and can't really see past it. So, I'd be interested to hear from someone who has a clue. There have been a couple PPs.

Special ed teacher here. I have very mixed feelings about all of this. I give so much time and care to my students that for a parent to ask for more time outside of my day is just selfish. I not only teach my students all day but also volunteer at a number of events that involve them. For example, I take the olders one to prom every year (not paid and on my own time) so that they can experience it. I have numerious IEP's a year on my students. I also answer almost daily emails from parents within 12 hours (mostly at night when my own 3 children are asleep).

Since your child has very serious medical issues I assume he has a one on one paraprofesional in the classroom with him. If you can not leave him alone for even a minute I assume a teacher can not attend to him and other students at the same time. Can you connect by phone with his para during the school day?

As you know a special needs child can be very draining and demanding. Now multiply that "need and demand" by a dozen of students with special needs and you may see why the teacher needs to set boundries.

Personally I think you need to respect the teachers request and work with her not against her. If a conversation is so important that it can not happen in an email than schedule a meeting. If it will only take "10 minutes" than it can happen in an email.

I find it insulting that your opinion of public school teachers is that we only treat kids like they are numbers. Jsut because she is not willing to sacrafice her personal time for your child does not mean she does not care and that he is treated like a number - rude.

 

[Arabella1978]

I agree. If there was a student at our school in that situation, I would hope the teachers could recognize that this isn't a typical situation and I'd hope they give the family the support they need. It's not like every parent in the class would be contacting the teacher as often as OP might need to.

Yeah I totally agree, and I'd also like to think that my kids' school would have the guts to do the right thing even if it meant having to put up with unreasonable parents who would throw a fit about it. I guess I'd like to think that most of the parents I know would never use 'special treatment' that a terminally ill student might receive, as a reason to cry discrimination. It's really hard for me to believe that there are parents like that...yuck

 

[okeydokey]

If your child is in physical danger if he goes to school before you speak to the teacher directly, then an emergency face to face meeting with the teacher, principal, your child's aide and you needs to happen. I would call first thing Mon morning and request this meeting. Or I would stop in to see the principal or guidance counselor on Monday morning to set up the meeting. Since this is such a dire circumstance, an actual sit down in in order.

I am assuming your child has a one on one aide? Maybe that would be the person to keep in close contact with. If he doesn't maybe he should have one.

 

[Hannathy]

I still don't understand why some of this can't be handled by email or even thru a chat engine like "meebo" for instance. then you would both be there and going back and forth at the same time. You could do that with your child in your sight. This might be able to be arranged during one of her prep periods even.

While I personally think Teachers SHOULD be required to stay at school for 30 minutes after it is dismissed, evidently this isn't in your teachers contract so therefore as an hourly employee she doesn't have to stay. I also think you need to be a little more cooperative in adjusting your schedule, or like I said before get a sitter to be with your child while you are on the phone.

 

[Aristomommy]

I would also agree to try e-mail as a form of communication. Has the teacher provided an e-mail address? Also, I don't understand that a teacher wouldn't want to know about a medically fragile child's issues as it can have an impact how things are in the classroom. For the teacher to give you two narrow times for phone calls is odd to me.

I understand that teachers are parents with families, but many of us working mothers will make work related phone calls and e-mails after official work times. Many families work and are not allowed to make personal phone calls during the day which would pretty much eliminate any calls with a teacher. Since these are medical issues, I tend to take them very seriously and the teacher should too.

 

[leebee]

I am an ed tech III, OQMHP in special ed; ratings and qualifications mean I can legally sign paperwork, teach, etc., and I understand your child's academic situation. Your child has a plethora of special needs which legally must be met, but I am surprised that you haven't mentioned him having a paraprofessional (such as myself, an ed tech who works one-on-one with him) or a case manager. Perhaps your state works differently from mine, but any child with a 504/IEP, regardless of whether they are included in the regular ed classroom or are pulled out for everything, has a case manager in addition to the classroom teacher. The case manager is a special ed teacher who is responsible for your child's education. This is the person who schedules the IEP meetings, coordinates the child's schedule (schedules support professionals, academic classwork, etc), writes up all the legal reports for the student, etc. In my state, this would be the person to contact, not the classroom teacher, if you want things to happen, changes to be made, etc. The case workers all teach special ed kids, but they have time built into the day to do paperwork, talk with parents, etc. This is their job. Although your child completes his classwork on grade level, his medical needs qualify him for special ed. Is there not a special ed teacher/case manager who can help you with these issues?

FWIW, teachers in my school are not allowed to take phone calls in the classroom during the day (via school phone or personal cell phone). They have one 45 min planning period a day, and can make/take phone calls then. Of course, that's also when they have to do all their planning, photocopying (not a lot of textbooks anymore), class prep, etc. If a parent calls, the school admin assistant takes a message and passes it to the teacher. Yes, it can take several days for the teacher to answer. Also, the aa can put the parent through to the teacher's voicemail if the parent wants to leave a more complicated message. Most teachers communicate with parents via email, regardless of the urgency of the matter.

 

[Jen414]

but out of curiosity-
Are the teachers this year typical or have the other 14 yrs I have had children in school (most private) been typical? I have never had this before. Although, I will say, in private school there was never a time that I felt like my child was just a number and that has been often these last 3 years in public. Unfortunately, private is no longer an option due to circumstances.

In my school, teachers figure out a time to talk with parents outside of our "contracted hours". I think this whole coversation is what gives teachers a bad name. It seems like this is a unique case and exceptions to a hard and fast rule of not making a phone call might need to be adjusted. While I do not give out my home phone or address, I have made phone calls at night when no other time during the school day would work or when I knew it would be a lengthy phone call that would go through my entire planning periods. Do I do this often--no, in the 10 years that I've been in my current job, I've done it only a handful of times. I also check email late at night and first thing in the morning. I know that many on here would be horrified, but I feel like it's an easy thing to do and can often make my day as well as my students' day easier. I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time in speaking with your child's teacher.

OP--
First if you haven't already done so, you need to write an email that VERY SPECIFICALLY states what your concerns are. Also state that you have tried reaching her by phone during that 1-2 pm time slot and she has not been available. And I mean be VERY specific, i,e, "I believe that Bobby's leg brace is not being used correctly, because his leg is being rubbed raw by the velcro that isn't being attached correctly, etc." Obviously this is just an example, I don't know what your son's medical issues are.. etc.

Excellent idea. I would cc the principal and maybe even your special ed. director so that they know that you will be in first thing on Monday. You may get quicker results.

Would you expect your doctor to take 10 minutes out of her private life to address a concern? Your Lawyer? Why are teachers' private lives seen as less valuable? While it doesn't sound like this teacher is doing as good of a job as she can in connecting with the OP, we don't know her story at all. The expectaation has become in many areas of the country that teachers should be available (and happily) 24/7. OP- it may be overkill, but if you can't connect on the phone with the teacher, you need to set up a face to face meeting. Maybe you can come to an understanding about phone calls at that time.

When my sister was in high school and hurt her eye during a soccer game, my mother called our family eye doctor's emergency number. She got the service and told them the issue. The doctor called back, talked with my mom and my sister, left a Red Sox game, and met them at the office.

When my father had an unbearable toothache on Christmas one year, he called his dentist, and the dentist met him at the office.

About 8 years ago, my husband had an unbearable toothache, called his dentist around 10 pm on July 3rd, and drove home that night from Maine and the dentist saw him on the 4th of July.

When my water broke with my girls 7 years ago, I called the number my o.b. gave me. I figured it would be his service--nope, it was his bedside phone--I woke him up since it was about 3 a.m.

I do think there are many professionals who will go the extra mile. All 4 of the above professionals are excellent and have big practices. Well, actually not my o.b. as he died about 6 weeks after my girls were born. He was a saint, but that's another thread altogether.

But I also don't think it's wrong for the OP mom to believe that GIVEN the circumstances, (A terminally ill child), that perhaps the teacher could find a FEW minutes somewhere in her school day or after work to touch base with the parent of said child, with medical concerns. (Especially since she hasn't been available during her posted call times). I guess it's not MANDATORY, but it's definitely a special circumstance. I guess the better question here would be, have the teachers here who absolutlely say they would not call a parent after the school day is over, ever had a terminally ill child in their classroom? What if you had a kid with Cancer in your room who was dying? Would you ever call the mom or dad after 4pm if they had a concern and you couldn't connect via phone during the school day? I guess I just wonder why someone would be so extrememly inflexible that they wouldn't allow the possibility of a special circumstance? And really, if it's a worry that you are opening a precedent for other parent's to take advantage of, well how would they even know? And even if they found out why would saying, "Sorry but this child in question is terminally ill, this is a special circumstance" not be enough of an explanation?

I agree with this so much. I try to make school a good experience for every child that is in front of me. I try to treat them all the same, but kids are not all the same and some kids need different things. If I had a terminally ill child in my room, I would be doing absolutely everything in my power to make it a fabulous year for him and his entire family.

 

[nicki.momof3]

OP please don't take this the wrong way (and I am sure you will) but you can not take a few minutes out to call during her posted times (8:15-8:40am and 1-2pm school days) due to watching your child. However, you can post on this board 7 times in a little over 24 hours (that does not even include all the time it took you to read these posts).

You stated in your OP that during the above times your child demands your undivided attention (and I totally understand that) and you have no help. However, in the last month you have a number of post (on weekdays) on these boards during the above times - if you have time to post it seems you would have time to call it would seem.

Flame away!!!!!

 

[J3nn78]

[/QUOTE]When my sister was in high school and hurt her eye during a soccer game, my mother called our family eye doctor's emergency number. She got the service and told them the issue. The doctor called back, talked with my mom and my sister, left a Red Sox game, and met them at the office.

When my father had an unbearable toothache on Christmas one year, he called his dentist, and the dentist met him at the office.

About 8 years ago, my husband had an unbearable toothache, called his dentist around 10 pm on July 3rd, and drove home that night from Maine and the dentist saw him on the 4th of July.

When my water broke with my girls 7 years ago, I called the number my o.b. gave me. I figured it would be his service--nope, it was his bedside phone--I woke him up since it was about 3 a.m.

I do think there are many professionals who will go the extra mile. All 4 of the above professionals are excellent and have big practices. Well, actually not my o.b. as he died about 6 weeks after my girls were born. He was a saint, but that's another thread altogether.[/QUOTE]


Those are all examples of doctor services and you are paying for them. As for the OB-they give out their private numbers all the time. They go into the profession knowing they are on call at all hours.

Teachers do not fall into that category. Who is willing to pay the teacher $40-$50 an hour to chat with them on their private time. They cannot bill you for that. If they could, then maybe it would be different.