Teacher Participation......

[JackJack08]

No, it's not.

Our students are not OUR children. Why would you expect us to want to attend a "family" event when we have families of our own that we want to spend time with?

It's a silly question....because it's not allowed. A safety issue. Why would we let any grown adult, into an elementary school dance, that has no reason being there. Not sure I understand in the logic?

 

[C.Ann]

I'm really surprised by most of the responses here.. DGD just turned 12 and so far has been in two different school districts.. Her first - where she started school - and the one she's in now (where they moved in June of '06)..

In her first district the amount of participation by the teachers, principals, and other faculty members was pretty amazing.. No matter what the event, it was rare to find less than 65% of the people mentioned in attendance.. That was a big concern for my DD and her DH when they decided to move.. Although the new school district has an excellent reputation, they worried that the staff would not be as involved with the students..

Turns out they worried for nothing.. It seemed highly unlikely that the % of attendance would actually increase, but it did.. Now it's more in the range of 80 to 90% attendance by faculty members.. Of course there's also a very high % of attendance by parents as well (as was the case in the former school district) so maybe that has something to do with it.. They manage to keep the parents involved by being involved themselves.. Whatever the reason, it seems to work out well for everyone.. They have a good, solid school district - an enormous amount of parental involvement and student participation - and everyone is happy, so I'm sure as heck not going to question their motives..

The only thing "lacking" is not enough parking - because the turn-outs are so big..LOL..

 

[Jill in Chicago]

Parents do often begin impromptu conferences when they run into a teacher.

Or a parent will monopolize a teacher telling the teacher how wonderful their child is, and the teacher will have a tough time changing the topic, moving on to another activity or talking with another parent.

Parents often (and I've seen this many times) talk about private issues in public places where other students/parents can hear. This can be a huge embarrassment to the child, and can (not always of course) bring on gossip from other parents.

Teachers, like all of us, are tired and they want to go home/somewhere else and relax. Doesn't matter kids, no kids..... they are just done for the day.

I need quiet alone time to energize and then I'm ready to be my outgoing self. Some people energize by being with people, and some people energize by being alone.

 

[JackJack08]

And people have given you umpteen reasons why a teacher may not come out and "have some fun" as you think it is. Also, what is fun for you may not be fun for them.

You are correct they have. I just always assumed, that teachers love children! But, maybe you're right, it's not fun for them. Perhaps the pay, benefits, pension, holidays are what entice them, as with any other job. But with any job, sometimes "extras" are asked of you and depending on the type of person you are, you will do it because you are asked, or you won't.

 

[JackJack08]

I'm really surprised by most of the responses here.. DGD just turned 12 and so far has been in two different school districts.. Her first - where she started school - and the one she's in now (where they moved in June of '06)..

In her first district the amount of participation by the teachers, principals, and other faculty members was pretty amazing.. No matter what the event, it was rare to find less than 65% of the people mentioned in attendance.. That was a big concern for my DD and her DH when they decided to move.. Although the new school district has an excellent reputation, they worried that the staff would not be as involved with the students..

Turns out they worried for nothing.. It seemed highly unlikely that the % of attendance would actually increase, but it did.. Now it's more in the range of 80 to 90% attendance by faculty members.. Of course there's also a very high % of attendance by parents as well (as was the case in the former school district) so maybe that has something to do with it.. They manage to keep the parents involved by being involved themselves.. Whatever the reason, it seems to work out well for everyone.. They have a good, solid school district - an enormous amount of parental involvement and student participation - and everyone is happy, so I'm sure as heck not going to question their motives..

The only thing "lacking" is not enough parking - because the turn-outs are so big..LOL..

That is awesome, to have such a positive response by parents and faculty! What any school should strive for! Thanks for sharing....your DGD is a very lucky girl!!

 

[mamaLori05]

I said relationship building IS DONE, in the classrroom as well as extra activities.

Whatever....we will all agree to disagree. It is just so funny to me, how people are so rude. People can't disagree with each other, without someone throwing in snide remarks. Little extras come with any job, teaching or not.......

I don't see anything rude about what people are saying, from either side. People are responding to other posters, not just what you write. They are simply explaining why they feel the way they do. I'm sorry, but I think you just don't like it because a majority are disagreeing with you. When you ask a debate type question, you need to expect debate type answers.

 

[daisyduck123]

It's a silly question....because it's not allowed. A safety issue. Why would we let any grown adult, into an elementary school dance, that has no reason being there. Not sure I understand in the logic?

Ok...I'll rephrase that. Would you WANT to attend the event if your own children were not there? No, probably not. You wouldn't want to be at a family event without your own family.

 

[JackJack08]

At the school I taught at, there were 3-4 teachers on each grade level. One teacher from each grade level was expected to attend PTO meetings and fundraisers. In this way, we could take turns and only had to go to 1 out of every 4 events, but the teachers at the school were still represented. Also, when we attended something extra like that, our principal gave us a coupon to wear jeans one day, which was a fun little reward. Maybe the OP could suggest something like this to the principal.
Teachers do have families, too. I hated the days when it was my turn to go to PTO meeting because after being at school all day, I had just enough time to pick my kids up from daycare, drop them off with my DH, and then head BACK to school. They were often in bed by the time I got home. Something to keep in mind.
ETA: The above is the reason I decided to quit teaching and stay home with my kids.

I like that idea. Sounds like a fair way of doing things.

 

[LiberalPrincess]

You are correct they have. I just always assumed, that teachers love children! But, maybe you're right, it's not fun for them. Perhaps the pay, benefits, pension, holidays are what entice them, as with any other job. But with any job, sometimes "extras" are asked of you and depending on the type of person you are, you will do it because you are asked, or you won't.

And I am sure that there are already plenty of "extras" asked of them. From after school meetings, to bringing in their own supplies, to impromptu conferences with parents to spending their free time doing lesson planning that goes above and beyond the curriculum to make it more interesting for the kids. Just because they don't attend your extra event does not mean they don't love kids, nor does it mean they are not doing extras every single day. I love kids, but I would not want to go to a elementary school dance that did not involve my own children.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I said relationship building IS DONE, in the classrroom as well as extra activities.

Whatever....we will all agree to disagree. It is just so funny to me, how people are so rude. People can't disagree with each other, without someone throwing in snide remarks. Little extras come with any job, teaching or not.......

Ummm....I am trying to be kind here but you yourself have made quite a few snide remarks as well on this thread. I realize we cannot hear your tone in a written word but it comes across as extremely rude. I could be wrong but seeing the numerous responses you refuse to understand why teachers do not view it as a "fun time." If you had posted and said "Gee, it's really ashame that the teachers are unable to make our events because the kids would really love it but I understand they probably have other commitments etc." then I think people would have been more agreeable. Posting about how they should be grateful for all you do and all the money you give them is not exactly kind. Nor is inferring that none of us volunteer so we couldn't possibly have any idea what you are talking about. Those of us who do volunteer (including myself) that do not agree with you have gotten nothing but a snippy remark.
Now you might be a completely lovely person who is a hoot to be around. You might also just be disappointed and vented in a way that came across as snippy. However, based SOLELY on your posts I have to say that we have a person with the same "tone" on our PTA and they are not well received to put it kindly. The PTA isn't doing favors for the teachers. They are making things better for our kids. We love when the teachers want to be a part of things but it is not mandatory and we don't make them feel bad if they don't want to participate. That is their choice. It is no different than parents who don't or can't volunteer.
Good luck with your next event. Just try and keep remembering that you are doing this for the kids and everything else is just gravy.

 

[JackJack08]

Ok...I'll rephrase that. Would you WANT to attend the event if your own children were not there? No, probably not. You wouldn't want to be at a family event without your own family.

For sure!!!

I be-bopped with tons of kids that night! My kids are a little older and were hanging with there friends....doing some of the other activities. I was dressed as a scary witch and the little ones all wanted to dance with me! I have no problem going ANYWHERE by myself....I have always been a big believer (and teach my kids) that you make your own fun. But, I guess if you go in with a crappy mindset from the get go, you'll have a crappy time. Difference in people.

 

[Scurvy]

Thanks for the backup!! I have broad shoulders!!!

I was also thinking where are they getting this stuff....I didn't say that!! I also don't expect them to volunteer. Just to come out and have some fun, and support the cause! There was no work for them to do....we were totally covered for chaperones.

If it isn't something that they would find fun, do you still want them to attend?

I think what you aren't considering is that from a teacher's perspective, it is still work even if they are only there to "have fun and support the cause". Even for someone who truly loves school dances or Halloween parties and really finds them fun, if she is there with her coworkers and her students and the parents of those students, it's a work event. She can't just be "Jane" and enjoy herself; she has to be "Mrs Doe" and interact with everyone from work and respond to parents' inevitable questions. It isn't fun and relaxing most of the time. Going to a school event guarantees that you can't just be yourself; you have to be The Teacher. A teacher spends the majority of every school day being Mrs. Doe. In her time off, it's nice to just be Jane and enjoy her own family and friends. I'm sure you can understand that. Do you hang out at work events with your boss and coworkers for fun during your time off?

People have asked if you would attend an event like the one you mentioned even if your kids weren't there. I don't understand why you think it's a silly question. Sure, it would be weird if you didn't have kids at that school at all, but as an important member of the PTA it would make sense for you to go to a school event as a representative of the PTA even if your own kids couldn't be there. Do you think you'd find the event as enjoyable if you were watching other people's kids having fun instead of being there with your own?

 

[JackJack08]

Ummm....I am trying to be kind here but you yourself have made quite a few snide remarks as well on this thread. I realize we cannot hear your tone in a written word but it comes across as extremely rude. I could be wrong but seeing the numerous responses you refuse to understand why teachers do not view it as a "fun time." If you had posted and said "Gee, it's really ashame that the teachers are unable to make our events because the kids would really love it but I understand they probably have other commitments etc." then I think people would have been more agreeable. Posting about how they should be grateful for all you do and all the money you give them is not exactly kind. Nor is inferring that none of us volunteer so we couldn't possibly have any idea what you are talking about. Those of us who do volunteer (including myself) that do not agree with you have gotten nothing but a snippy remark.
Now you might be a completely lovely person who is a hoot to be around. You might also just be disappointed and vented in a way that came across as snippy. However, based SOLELY on your posts I have to say that we have a person with the same "tone" on our PTA and they are not well received to put it kindly. The PTA isn't doing favors for the teachers. They are making things better for our kids. We love when the teachers want to be a part of things but it is not mandatory and we don't make them feel bad if they don't want to participate. That is their choice. It is no different than parents who don't or can't volunteer.
Good luck with your next event. Just try and keep remembering that you are doing this for the kids and everything else is just gravy.

Only after I was told "frankly it was none of my business what the teachers were doing that night" and "they don't have to tell me their itinerary". Hate having words put into my mouth......

 

[JackJack08]

Just wondering what some of your thoughts are on this......

Our Parent School Association, held a halloween dance at our elementary school a few weeks ago. It was well attended by students and their parents. However, the only three teachers that attended were there as parents and NOT teachers. Are we, as a parent organization asking too much of our teachers, by wanting them to attend a two hour after school function?? They were not asked to work or chaperone at all, just to come out and share in some school spirit. I realize contractually they are not obligated but how do we expect students to attend such fundraisers, if the teachers won't even attend?? Maybe I'm off base.........

Thought I should repost this, so you could see the original question.....ummmm I don't think I was being rude at all?

 

[Marionnette]

It's a silly question....because it's not allowed. A safety issue. Why would we let any grown adult, into an elementary school dance, that has no reason being there. Not sure I understand in the logic?

Are you being deliberately obtuse? The question is "Would you attend the event if your own children were not there?" You're a parent. Your children attend that school. Your neighbor's kids attend. Your kids' friends attend. But if your own kids were not there, would you have ANY desire to be at such a function? And if not, then why are you judging the teachers for not wanting to be there either. If you would be there in the absence of your kids, then it at least gives everyone some insight as to where you're coming from. Not everyone loves to be around kids all of the time. You might be one of those who does. But you can't condemn people who spend their entire workday with children for wanting to spend their personal time away from them.

 

[daisyduck123]

For sure!!!

I be-bopped with tons of kids that night! My kids are a little older and were hanging with there friends....doing some of the other activities. I was dressed as a scary witch and the little ones all wanted to dance with me! I have no problem going ANYWHERE by myself....I have always been a big believer (and teach my kids) that you make your own fun. But, I guess if you go in with a crappy mindset from the get go, you'll have a crappy time. Difference in people.

Yes BUT....your own kids were there. You just said so yourself.

 

[JackJack08]

If it isn't something that they would find fun, do you still want them to attend?

I think what you aren't considering is that from a teacher's perspective, it is still work even if they are only there to "have fun and support the cause". Even for someone who truly loves school dances or Halloween parties and really finds them fun, if she is there with her coworkers and her students and the parents of those students, it's a work event. She can't just be "Jane" and enjoy herself; she has to be "Mrs Doe" and interact with everyone from work and respond to parents' inevitable questions. It isn't fun and relaxing most of the time. Going to a school event guarantees that you can't just be yourself; you have to be The Teacher. A teacher spends the majority of every school day being Mrs. Doe. In her time off, it's nice to just be Jane and enjoy her own family and friends. I'm sure you can understand that. Do you hang out at work events with your boss and coworkers for fun during your time off?

People have asked if you would attend an event like the one you mentioned even if your kids weren't there. I don't understand why you think it's a silly question. Sure, it would be weird if you didn't have kids at that school at all, but as an important member of the PTA it would make sense for you to go to a school event as a representative of the PTA even if your own kids couldn't be there. Do you think you'd find the event as enjoyable if you were watching other people's kids having fun instead of being there with your own?

Absolutely! I love children! Older, younger....it doesn't matter. I enjoy them at every stage and find them fascinating. I appreciate their thoughts and LOVE to see kids just being kids.

 

[LiberalPrincess]

Absolutely! I love children! Older, younger....it doesn't matter. I enjoy them at every stage and find them fascinating. I appreciate their thoughts and LOVE to see kids just being kids.

You mean like the teachers do all day every day?

 

[JackJack08]

Are you being deliberately obtuse? The question is "Would you attend the event if your own children were not there?" You're a parent. Your children attend that school. Your neighbor's kids attend. Your kids' friends attend. But if your own kids were not there, would you have ANY desire to be at such a function? And if not, then why are you judging the teachers for not wanting to be there either. If you would be there in the absence of your kids, then it at least gives everyone some insight as to where you're coming from. Not everyone loves to be around kids all of the time. You might be one of those who does. But you can't condemn people who spend their entire workday with children for wanting to spend their personal time away from them.

I'm not judging anyone???? I just asked, if I was off base in thinking that maybe they could come out a COUPLE times a year, to support some activities. People really.........

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Only after I was told "frankly it was none of my business what the teachers were doing that night" and "they don't have to tell me their itinerary". Hate having words put into my mouth......

Okay- I'll give you that.

Thought I should repost this, so you could see the original question.....ummmm I don't think I was being rude at all?

Yes, but after people explained why they probably didn't come you did kind of get huffy. FTR- the kids don't care if the teachers are at the fundraisers. They are more excited to go to an "event" at school and show off their costumes. I think we can both agree that the kids don't even care if us parents are there.