Tantrums

[slzer0]

How do you guys deal with tantrums in the parks. Unlike a store at home, you can't just go outside or go home. My youngest is my little terror and is VERY vocal during a tantrum.
I'm dreading the stares. :/

 

[Airship Ariadne]

Every kid is different, I think what works for some may be an epic failure for others.

One key though we found worked for us was to try not to up-end DD's schedule too much (if a nap is normally taken at 2pm, then that's nap time on vacation as well, if lunch is at 11 am, we'd try to eat at 11 am...but that was then, she's a teenager now, and her tantrums are more about eye rolling and saying "whatever!")...being tired and off-schedule is really the key reason you see cranky kids at times in the parks.

IN all our trips, we've never looked at a parent dealing with a kid in a tantrum with anything but empathy.

Ok, we did laugh at the mom that screamed "stop crying and start having fun now, or else!"

But mostly out of that feeling of knowing we would probably react just the same.

 

[wilkeliza]

How do you guys deal with tantrums in the parks. Unlike a store at home, you can't just go outside or go home. My youngest is my little terror and is VERY vocal during a tantrum. I'm dreading the stares. :/

Didn't matter we were at Disney when the nephew had a tantrum he was told he had 10 counts to calm down and if he couldn't we were leaving. Sure enough he couldn't so dad told him let's go and they got on the monorail and headed to the car while the rest of the family was allowed to stay and have fun.

I have also seen family use curbs as time out sports or even have their kids sit and face a wall after a tantrum. If you are in a store, show or restaraunt I would use whatever method you so at hoke and then if you would usually take them to the car or even home then simply take them to a more "boring" section and have time out or whatever you do at home.

 

[Bamagirl43]

I would ignore. My DD and DS learned right off that the tantrums wouldn't work with us. Just stand and watch, don't say a word and don't touch the child. After they finish and calm down, you can then proceed to tell them what their options are. As far as the stares...I wouldn't give it a second thought. Most have children and know what it's like.

 

[kcpinwdw]

Every parent knows what it's like to have a kid tantrum at the wrong time... Hopefully most of those stares are those of sympathy!

 

[slzer0]

I'd love to just watch as DS screams and runs away, but that's generally frowned upon.

Curb as a time out seems like a reasonable option.. In a store, restaurant or show, I can just take him outside and do that.
Taking him back to the hotel at every tantrum seems like maybe we should just save ourselves the 3 H drive and stay home in the first place lol. That may be an option for an older kid but at his age I don't think so. By the time we got back to CSR he will have no idea why.

He's 2.5 and the tantrums can get very dramatic, I'm most worried about him tweaking out while we're in line for something. I really don't want to be that parent with the screaming kid in close quarters. I feel like shouting him down or waiting it out aren't really very crowd-friendly options. I'm at a loss for a way to quickly manage it while remaining courteous, and not having to get out of line, which can be very inconvenient for everyone depending on the queue.

I also worry about him doing the "wet noodle" on a crowded Street, refusing to walk the direction we are. I suppose DH can carry him screaming off to the side, we can have a time out, then cram him into the stroller and let it run its course.

I don't mean to say all of this will happen every day, but he does have at least one crazyman tantrum a day, or in today's case, three, so far.

He doesn't really follow a schedule, doing that seems to be tougher on him and lead to more meltdowns. We eat when hungry, nap when tired/over stimulated, and plan to do so on our trip as well.

 

[wilkeliza]

I'd love to just watch as DS screams and runs away, but that's generally frowned upon. Curb as a time out seems like a reasonable option.. In a store, restaurant or show, I can just take him outside and do that. Taking him back to the hotel at every tantrum seems like maybe we should just save ourselves the 3 H drive and stay home in the first place lol. That may be an option for an older kid but at his age I don't think so. By the time we got back to CSR he will have no idea why. He's 2.5 and the tantrums can get very dramatic, I'm most worried about him tweaking out while we're in line for something. I really don't want to be that parent with the screaming kid in close quarters. I feel like shouting him down or waiting it out aren't really very crowd-friendly options. I'm at a loss for a way to quickly manage it while remaining courteous, and not having to get out of line, which can be very inconvenient for everyone depending on the queue. I also worry about him doing the "wet noodle" on a crowded Street, refusing to walk the direction we are. I suppose DH can carry him screaming off to the side, we can have a time out, then cram him into the stroller and let it run its course. I don't mean to say all of this will happen every day, but he does have at least one crazyman tantrum a day, or in today's case, three, so far. He doesn't really follow a schedule, doing that seems to be tougher on him and lead to more meltdowns. We eat when hungry, nap when tired/over stimulated, and plan to do so on our trip as well.

True nephew is 11 so yeah going to the car works for him because he knows why he's there.

The little one does't tantrum (thank god) so I've never had to deal with him and behavior at Disney. We got super lucky in the fact he can express himself with his words and doesn't usually melt down.

 

[msmama]

I personally try very hard to avoid tantrums before they happen. Extra snacks and drinks are ok if it keeps everyone happy. And I keep pushing to do things at a minimum.

I'd also go with avoidance. If he's throwing a tantrum because he wants something in every store - I'd rush through stores (carrying him) as fast as possible. If he's throwing tantrums in line, maybe skip some rides (yep, sucks for you, but it might be what's necessary).

I DO think that at 2.5 you can set small expectations (no more than 5 minutes in advance or so) and he should cooperate "this is what is going to happen, if you tantrum, we leave/stop/whatever." I obviously don't mean leave the park, but the line, the store, etc.

Make sure everyone gets enough rest (when I am tired, I'm not as sensitive to my son's needs and he can get more cranky before I notice). And go at his pace. Sometimes let him lead and you follow rather than rushing him from ride to ride.

To a small child watching the ducks can be just as exciting as meeting characters and riding rides.

 

[ktlm]

I have a very strong willed child. If it makes you feel better, when she was 2, we took her to WDW and she behaved better there than she did at home. Only had 2 meltdowns the entire week. One was the first day when we tried the afternoon break. Did not work at all for her- stroller naps during the day in the park turned out to be best for us. The other was 11:30 at MVMCP when we made her quit riding the Barnstorner (Goofini) after she had ridden it 14 times in a row without getting off. DH and I couldn't take anymore! There was no line and they were just letting her keep on and go round and round. That time SH did have to carry a kicking and screaming child out of MK. Try not to stress! WDW is not a bad place to have a tantrum, because a large number of people there have had it happen to them...maybe even that day! The CMs are used to it too. Have a great trip!

We took DD twice when she was 3 and there was a fit or two. If it does happen, we usually would find a bench and sit there quietly until it calmed down. I would just say we are going to sit here until you are done . We could be doing something fun but we can't until you stop. Then we would just sit there quietly and not engage, as that escalates it. Might have to hold her still if it was a big one. She usually stopped pretty soon as she wasn't getting a reaction.

 

[slzer0]

Thanks everyone for the tips. I feel a bit better.
He doesn't usually freak out because he wants something, usually because we are trying to stop him from doing what he wants; destroying, running, go this direction instead of that, etc. He is indeed strong willed. SUCH a huge difference from my people pleasing daughter.
I'm going to try distraction as well. A handful of goldfish can be a real game changer. I usually don't like to bribe, but to keep the pace I may.

Valid points about not just rushing him around. I tend to do that and it makes him nuts. Sand fit bring kiss tuned into him when I'm tired myself.
If you're there mid November and you see a curly blond boy losing his mind, try not to stare, lol.

 

[Lolsmum]

The one tantrum I had from either of my kids at WDW led to me taking my daughter from the park back to the hotel.

It worked, but I nearly killed the rest of the family when they opted to follow us back to the hotel due to rain. Ugh.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Ignore them, just like you do when you aren't on vacation.

 

[jtowntoflorida]

I have a very strong-willed child, and on our last trip in August, he kept wandering off from the family, wanting to do his own thing. After about the third time of us chasing after him, I decided that this was not working and that we needed a new tactic. So I let him wander off and "lose" us. I figured if he really got separated from us, Disney was going to be the best place for that to happen. Well, "losing" Mom & Dad (he wasn't really lost...we could see him but he couldn't see us) for real scared him enough that after that, he stuck by our side. A little natural consequence can go a long way.

I'd also ignore any tantrums and him wet noodling himself. BTDT. Again, Disney is the BEST place for your kid to have a tantrum...because he's going to be in good company! If anyone is staring, it's either because they don't have kids or because they DO have kids and they're thanking their lucky stars it's not their kid having the tantrum!

We have had thankfully few tantrums at Disney, but we do travel with A LOT of snacks and water as well. Yes, Disney is full of food, but it's hard to find anything of decent nutritional quality without a ton of sugar. We pack things like yogurt raisins, cheese sticks, and peanut butter cracker snacks--just something with a little more protein and not sugar--and that seems to help a lot.

 

[Minnesota!]

Both of my kids are different in what will calm them down - even now at 7/10. For my 7 year old who can throw the holiest of fits...me getting down on his level and just hugging him tight for a bit seems to do the trick. If I ignore, threaten, walk away, raise my voice over his...he just gets louder and crazier. I wish I had recorded the one from last week when I told him it was time to do his reading homework. Good lord.

Anyway, he just really needs the physical touch of a hug or whatnot and it calms him down. I am kind of the same way.

My older son, he would need to be moved away to a quieter area and just let to process things himself. Even now when he is stressed, he will remove himself to his room or the basement and just chill for a bit.

 

[MissMaryQC]

I've never done this with my own child, considering she is a month old, but when I taught little ones it worked wonders, especially my two year olds. It's called a calm down jar, it's literally a plastic bottle full of glitter glue, glitter and water. You shake the bottle, hand it to your child explaining that they should take a moment, watch the glitter, and calm down. It doesn't always work, especially if the child is exhausted, but it's a way to separate the child from the situation with out physically removing them; distraction basically. Be sure to seal the bottle with hot glue or another strong adhesive (I wrapped duct tape around mine for extra protection). Hope that helps!

 

[slzer0]

Thanks again guys. These are all great ideas. I like the glitter bottle, I've seen it on pinterest. Not sure if he will throw it but it's worth a try at home at first. Healthy snacks are a definite yes. We are bringing a small stroller cooler bag.

I dont generally ignore him at home, tantrums or otherwise, but I think a huge public place isn't really my choice to start ignoring him during tantrums. He doesn't throw fits to get what he wants. It's when he's frustrated or doesn't feel like he has control. I'm usually trying to find out what upsets him or removing whatever is overwhelming him.

 

[MSSANDRA]

For some reason, my boys were always extra good at WDW when they were little. I think all the extra positive attention helped that. Avoidance is always best. Keep them well fed and avoid tooooo much junk food. Keep them hydrated and avoid caffeine. Keep them rested even if it means skipping fireworks or rope drop. Let them know what is going to happen each day. Even at two, or even younger, they can understand that we will ride the bus, then wait in line, then ride dumb. Try to keep rules the same as home, and the consequences too. Sometimes you just can't ignore a melt down.
throwing them self down in the dumbo line where they can get stepped on and hurt, just can not happen. You can always take them and get out of line and some parents will do that but then you have wasted 45 minutes of standing in line for what might be a two minute fit. You just have to decide. Sometimes a hug and acknowledgment of his feelings is going to be enough. NEVER give a threat you are not willing to carry through. I know I would not make a kid leave the park over behavior (though that has never been an issue) so I would never make that threat. Missing one ride, or a treat, maybe ok. Time Out can certainly be done in the park, just find a quite, out of the way place and carry through. A bench in the middle of the crowds with people watching is not going to work very well in calming a child down, the whole purpose of time out. Remember that either a people has been there and done that, when they see the fit, or either, they have no clue!!!!
Either way, they are not your concern.

 

[ladyjubilee]

I think it depends on the child, what exactly 'tantrum' means.

WDW has a guide for people with cognitive impairments that includes areas in the park to regroup and calm. Might be helpful for regular tantrums too.

 

[kiramay]

You find a quieter spot away from people, plop them down, and let them tantrum. Then deal with the issue the caused the tantrum and move on. I'll be honest, when my kids melt down its usually MY fault; I missed the cues that they were getting hungry, tired, or overstimulated, and needed a break.

 

[clambert1273]

Oh wow I could write a book on this lol My son (who is now 14 so you will survive lol) has ADHD, ODD and OCD... so picture this... Disneyland at around 5 or 6 years old..screaming to the top of his lungs. He was a runner.. literally. He took off in a parking lot at Target one time so he was always leashed in public (think what you will but it was HIS safety I had to worry about).

He tried to take off and of course the leash had him by the back so he couldn't go and all holy hell broke out right then and there. You would have thought we beat him I told him if he didn't stop that we would leave (we had passes so it didn't matter since we lived there)... he didn't stop and proceeded to take his hand.. he literally laid himself down and I stood him up and start walking him out of the park.. ended up with me dragging him and him screaming "I can't breathe!!!" over and over.. I laughed and told him that "well that's funny because you are talking".

He is more drama than my 2 girls lol He is the ONLY one I have ever had to worry about tantrums with. My 7yo will have her "whining" moments but she knows she can only get so far before we end it so she chooses to fix herself (yay!! lol).

I think for normal tantrums (not like dealing with his issues) finding a less crowded spot to just take a break sometimes helps. For the lines, let him sit on the ground in front of you and bring some small toys or whatever so he can entertain himself.. we used to do that like his hot wheels.