taking my DNiece(9) to Disney-issue w/ Mom, any suggestions?

[belleandthebeast]

So we decide to go to Disney in October, my Mom and I. My DNiece had so much fun last October we decided to take her along. Her Mom (my sister) has a great big issue with her missing school (she missed 3 days last time). Can't blame her. My DNiece is an excellent student, did all her work while on vacation w/ us, and didn't have a single problem catching up in school.

I ask my DSis if she can go. She asks what the dates are. I tell her-8nights but on the day we leave, my niece will go to school for a full day as we leave in the evening. Total, she will miss 4 days of school, 1 day more than last year. And only because I don't want to be in the parks all day and THEN get on a plane to come home (too tiring for me, can't get settle, useless to go home, that's me ), so we leave early the next morning.

She wants me to shorten the trip! Because my niece is going to miss so much school . I told her I won't change my dates, I want to relax this trip, and this is what I intend to do. She told me that if I really wanted my niece to go (I really do, she has so much fun and it's time away from her baby sister), I'd shorten my trip.

Keep in mind, my DSis did this last year and in the end, let her go. She had a great time, only 1 meltdown, and it was great experience for her. She's never going to go if it's up to her parents. Her father won't fly and her mother hates to travel (I think I'm the mailman's child).

So, should I push the issue (did this last year, and it worked), or just let it go and stop my interfering? My BIL would like for her to go but my DSis is the boss, if you know what I mean.

I did ask my niece if she wanted to go and she really wants to.

I feel like the evil aunt with no children trying to cross the line of parenting.

Any suggestions?

 

[FreshTressa]

Not really...

But, not to offend you, I do think the childs need to not miss a day of school supercedes your need to have an extra day to decompress before flying home. It really is hard on kids to get back in the groove after missing school and I can see her point.

Your SIL obviously does not value vacations and sees more value in schooling than vacation. As this is her child, you can't really change that.

You need to decide if you would rather cut your trip a day short and bring your neice or if you would rather leave her at home and have your extra day.

 

[EthansMom]

Sounds like you need to choose. Either shorten the trip by one day (which doesn't seem like much to me) or else tell your sister that you aren't going to shorten your trip.

In the end, it's your sister's decision whether or not to have her daughter go on the trip and whether your niece can be out of school. No matter how you feel about it, that's your sister's job as Mom.

Not to flame you, but if I were your sister, I would probably be miffed if you'd invited my daughter without FIRST clearing it with me. It isn't fair to get your niece all pumped up about a trip and then make your sister look like a bad guy when she says "no".

 

[aprilgail2]

I wouldn't push it..I would make plans to go without her and if her mother changes her mind then fine..if not then at least the kid will be mad at her and not you!..4 days is not much to miss at all but every parent is different...I have no problem taking my daughter out of school for a week a school year.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Not to flame you, but if I were your sister, I would probably be miffed if you'd invited my daughter without FIRST clearing it with me. It isn't fair to get your niece all pumped up about a trip and then make your sister look like a bad guy when she says "no".

ITA

 

[AuntieM03]

If your sister is adamant I would stay one day less. Especially now that your niece knows of the plans. Otherwise she is being punished for others stubborness.

 

[Evil Genius]

I would drop it and just go with you and your mom. I wouldn't include your niece on any trip that is in the school year unless she has vacation time scheduled.

 

[VickiVM]

I'm in agreement with previous posters. Even though your neice is responsible enough to do her work while out of class, that doesn't lessen the importance of her being in class. My children do very well in school - actually, one struggles a bit to keep her grades up - but I wouldn't want to burden them with the task of catching up unnecessarily. There may also be state testing that she needs to prepare for. Who knows, but ultimately it's mom and dad's decision and I'm sure mom would appreciate the support.

 

[Buckalew11]

I'd keep my plans and if your sister changes her mind, great! I have taken all 6 of my nieces and nephews to WDW.

 

[belleandthebeast]

Thanks everyone for your advice!!!! I have decided to drop it. If her Mom decides otherwise, good for my niece!!! We had Easter dinner at my house and not once did I mention the trip. On a positive note, I am going to shorten the trip by one day. Less money for me, an extra day to relax before getting back in the swing of things.

By the way, I did check w/ my sister 1st. Then she mentioned it to my niece. When I asked my niece if she wanted to go again, I didn't specifically mention this trip. Just wanted to see how she felt about going back sometime in the future. Just planning to go sometime. When we had specific dates, I asked my sister.

I expected to get flamed. I thought maybe I was crossing the "You're not the parent" line.

You have to understand my sister though. Sometimes she forgets to have fun. I have to remind her.

Thanks again for your replies.

 

[Hannathy]

Make sure your Sister knows you did shorten the trip. And I agree nothing should be said to child until the Mom agrees. Don't forget she is getting older and it becomes more difficult to take off school, she may also have a "difficult" teacher this year that is not so cooperative. If you really like to take your niece and I used to take my nephew before he grew up on me! you may need to start checking the school calendar better and picking dates according to that. Have fun hopefully she is older now and won't have any meltdowns! (hard to believe she could have any on a trip with Grandma and Aunt, talk about a wonderful spoiling opportunity!)