Taking a 12 y.o. to Hooters to celebrate his B-day?

[Dan Murphy]

Originally posted by Deb in IA
....Sex sells, folks. And Hooters is using sex to sell their burgers.

.....but one wonders how APPROPRIATE it is. Maybe for an 18 year old, but 12?

Which brings me to my main point: the big push for our children to emulate "adult" behaviors. As a pediatrician, and as a mom, I confess that I am saddened by the 4 year olds in beauty pageants, the 7 year old Britney wanna-be's with their bare midriffs and jeans down to their netherlands, and the 12 year olds hanging out at Hooters.

...Why the big rush? Why can't kids be kids? Their loss of innocence, wonder, and just being a kid is gone forever. They grow up fast enough as it is; I just don't see the point of hastening it....

...I'm sure she'll grow up soon enough; right now I'm happy she's not.

Very well said, Doc.

 

[fireplug]

Just a thought...........

Many of you out there are concerned that by taking them as a group to a resturant called Hooters, their sons might get the wrong message about women, Some have said that it is demeaning and other statements to the same general effect. Some of you have said that they would not let their son go (some that apparently don't even have sons!).

Here is another view .

How many allow their daughters of the same age or younger to play with Barbie dolls. Studies have shown she has impossible to obtain body measurements. Yet they sell lots of them. Doesn't that give the wrong message that to be glamorous you have to be top heavy and have an extremely small waist? What about letting them wear clothes like "Brittney" or "Shakira" is that the "wrong" message.

I agree we should let our kids be kids. I doubt one party at Hooters is going to send many 12 y/o boys into a hormonal rampage. The waitresses are not going to go to entice them into manhood.
Could this mom find a different place to have a birthday party for her son? Perhaps, but if that is where he wants to have it and wants to have his friends with him why let him down.


Steve

 

[EROS]

EROS STANDS UP AND APPLAUDS FIREPLUG

However, I will say that MALIBU BARBIE sent me on the downward slope that I'm on today .........

 

[NHAnn]

Some points well made Steve. And Deb in IA too.

As the mother of the b-day child I doubt I'd have chosen it, but I'd probably let my son go (if I had one )...and use it as an opportunity to have a conversation with him about marketing messages and social issues, in terms he can understand.
In and of itself, the party is not going to be a huge influence on the development of his attitudes about women. Neither is playing with Barbie going to be the sole contributing factor in a girls self-image. Parental values can temper social messages. Raising teens is tough..heck raising children of any age is tough... parents have to do what they feel is right, and COMMUNICATE with adolescents. Just my 2 cents

 

[Saffron]

Steve said:
How many allow their daughters of the same age or younger to play with Barbie dolls. Studies have shown she has impossible to obtain body measurements. Yet they sell lots of them. Doesn't that give the wrong message that to be glamorous you have to be top heavy and have an extremely small waist?

Absolutley! And it's been a complaint made by women for many years. Same with the media focus on being "model thin".

The best comparison to a brithday party for 12 year old males at Hooters would be to have a restaurant where muscle bound hunky waiters all walked around in tank tops and speedos. The restaurant could be named Hot Dogs or something. ROTFLOL!! My DSDs would not have been allowed to celebrate a 12th birthday party there. Why let them down? As adults we can decide whether or not we wish to visit such establishments (which I am not against at all), as parents or step-parents, we have to make the choices for our children. We have to decide what we feel is appropriate for our own children. I pesonally think 12 is too young for males or females.

 

[ahutton]

My problem with this place is not whether it "objectifies" women or not specifically. Rather, I think it is not appropriate for pre-teen or early teens because it is a SPORTS BAR, and I don't believe that is a family environment. I've been to our local Hooters for lunch, and most of the folks there are business people, but I still don't think a bar is a place for a family.

 

[damo]

I think that if the child is twelve years old and requests to go to Hooters for his birthday then the stereotypical attitude already exists and is not about to be created. I don't think that what he does now is going to make much difference. His ideas are already quite well formed.

 

[Saffron]

Hmmmmmmm, interesting thought damo.

 

[Buckalew]

I agree with Dan's perception of Hooters. One just opened very close to our town and not a dime of my hard earned $ will be spent there. My choice. As the mother of a daughter, that sort of message is NOT what I'll be sending her.
BTW, she plays a bit with barbie and I did too. Can't say I ever thought about Barbie's hooters very much. I think it is adult that have more of a problem with barbie than little children.
I grew up at the beach and saw it all -- the ocean was very rough in NJ.

I think it is an inappropriate place for a 12yo birthday party and my child would not be attending.
My niece was invited to a 13yo girls party at Hooter's a few months ago. It was a boy/girl party! I thought my sister made a good decision to keep her DD home from that one.

 

[Jeff in BigD]

Originally posted by TimeforMe
Eros, spoken like a true man.

Joy. I thought the bashing the guys phase on the DIS was over, but I guess I thought wrong.

 

[Jeff in BigD]

I'm not saying I agree with taking the boys to Hooters, but I wonder how many of the outraged DISers have no qualms about watching daytime talk shows or soaps in front of their kids, or how many of their DDs have posters of actors & boy bands, dressed in a slightly risque manner?

 

[gina2000]

I'm not outraged but I do think there are more appropriate venues for a 12 year old boy.

Oh, and EROS, dear.....if everyone thought it was a good idea, you'd be spouting on about women's rights and liberation. The game is old, old, old.

 

[Jeff in BigD]

I just want to clarify that I'm not saying anyone who disagrees with letting the boys going to Hooters is "outraged", but I think CAPS & "!"s are pretty telling signs.

 

[dianeschlicht]

All right. I just read 5 pages of this (not sure why), and I am surprised no one mentioned the fact that this is a BAR!!! Wake up folks!!! This is a BAR!!! For that reason alone, it would be inappropriate for 12 year olds to celebrate a birthday there!!!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If I had boys and they came to me with this invitation, I am sure they would expect me to be LMAO before I said NO!

If you are not old enough to drive yourself there you are not old enough to go.

 

[Big Dude]

WOW! Lot's of input for this topic. I do have one question though that would determine my response. I have a Chinese restaurant near me that has a bar as a relatively "main" attraction to the property. I had my daughter's 10th birthday there but it was in a reception room in the back of the building. The children had no access to the bar area. I have also DJed at various places that had "prominent" bars (Lonestar, TGIF, Outback Steakhouses etc.) but again, there were reception rooms in the building away from that area. Could it be that the community is assuming that there will be scantly clad women at this event because it will be in the bar area or could it be that the Hooters in question has a reception room separate from the main bar area?

I would have to know what the setting would be before I make an informed decision. Something to think about.

Adam aka Big Dude

 

[Serena]

Adam, that's one thing I didn't think about.


Malibu Barbie was my barbie. They used to make clothes that fit the barbie's back then.

 

[Blondie]

Okay, here's what happened yesterday.

The actual "party" was at the boy's house after their lunch at Hooters. It was just lunch, the mother was there (ofcourse) the birthday boy, and three of his friends, my 2 sons included..

Cake and ice cream followed at the house, not at Hooters. So, it wasn't a birthday party at Hooters, it was lunch at Hooters.

Go ahead, flame away....think less of me.....call me what you will...pin the DIS Shame button on my shirt...it was a lunch and nothing more.

I asked them what they thought of the place and they seemed very underwhelmed. I don't know what they expected, but apparently Hooters wasn't all that. I guess seeing all the thongs at the Disney waterparks and at the beaches kind of left Hooters with something to be desired.

Could this mom find a different place to have a birthday party for her son? Perhaps, but if that is where he wants to have it and wants to have his friends with him why let him down.

I think this mother, who as I stated in this thread pages ago is going through a tough divorce. I'm not defending her actions, but I feel she is trying to wear all the hats in this family, and didn't want to let her son down. Doesn't mean I would take my kids if they asked, but if that was what her son wanted for his birthday, lunch at Hooters, she granted his wishes.

I asked the kids what he got for his birthday and they said nothing. I had to re-ask my question, because I couldn't believe the boy got nothing more than the lunch.

I guess she couldn't afford much more....I'm not sure....but apparently my boys saw him get nothing more than the lunch, and cake and ice cream.

I am surprised no one mentioned the fact that this is a BAR!!! Wake up folks!!! This is a BAR!!!

So is TGIF and Applebees....we go there all the time as a family for lunch.

 

[Mermaid02]

Hey.... it was your decision.... I probably would have made a different one..... but it was YOURS to make for YOUR kids...... something I am trying to teach my dd right now is that just because someone's parents have a different philosophy than ours (as far as parenting goes) it doesn't make EITHER one wrong... just DIFFERENT.

I think it does make a difference that the actual "party" wasn't at Hooters..... a birthday Party (cake ice cream etc) there seems like a dumb idea to me.... lunch is different..... I'm not sure why though.

 

[Mark P.]

What would have been wrong with TGIFridays? It's older than Chuckie Cheese, and definately more appropriate than Hooters. I get a laugh when Hooters is referred as just a sports bar.
Imo, divorce or not, it was a lame attempt for the Mom at being a 'cool Mom'.