Take son out of school? What would you do?

[Brian Noble]

Gaiusrex, maybe I should just borrow your book. I have two feet, and can spare one.

 

[chyam]

Originally posted by Gaiusrex
I do find it amusing that this thread comes up every few weeks, and we all get sucked right into it, and before long everyone is "offended" by what everyone else says.

None of us can really be offended. We keep saying the same things over and over

Next time this thread pops up, I'm just going to drop a book on my foot. I think I'd get equal satisfaction.

Amen!
It's just that some people do not realize how hard it is for parents to get time away from their jobs these days and most of us are at the mercy of our employers for that time off.........for me Christmas is next to impossible to have any time off as is July or August. So we do what we have to do..........but at the same time we teach our children that they do have to work a little harder to make up the work, as we do when we return to work from our vacation! As far as asking the teachers to do a little extra work, most I know have their lesson plans made somewhat in advance anyways.
Take your son and enjoy and until someone else walks in your shoes or mine let them do what they need to do and not condemn the person who can't................
Oh let me just add that I work for a pharmaceutical company and we have our work schedule all the way through 2006 and guess what I have to work on Easter Sunday..........talk about good family values! To add to that my seniority will probably not guarentee me being able to take a vacation day!

 

[hookedup]

Wife of a teacher here. Ironically enough my dh and I were having a heated discussion about this last night.

I was saying I don't think it is a good idea to pull kids out of school for things like vacations (mainly because my parents never did). My dh did not agree - he said of course depending on the student - but that if the child is on track academically and the family is willing to make up the missed work he has no problem with a family taking time off for vacation. His only exceptions are kids who have bad record of absenteeism or are behind in studies. They cannot afford to miss a week of school. Now he does teach 4th grade so older kids may have a lot more critical stuff to miss out in higher grades - I don't really know.

Anyway he and I debated a bit further about this but he finally convinced me that if the circumstances are all okay with missing a few days of class many times the family vacation experience is very good for the kids and the family too.

 

[Brian Noble]

On the broader notion of vacation, I'm actually in strong agreement with the majority: our culture simply doesn't give leisure time enough credit. I recently gave a talk at a university in Switzerland, and was arranging to follow up with a colleague there. He warned me not to try to contact him in August as, "unlike in the States, we Europeans actually take vacations."

 

[disneyfanz04]

Originally posted by WDSearcher
No, you weren't wrong. But, as you said, everyond is entitled to their own opinion, "no matter what it be". And, sometimes, those opinions are not popular, and sometimes they're not easy. And, nowhere in anything that the military is fighting so hard for, does it say that those opinions must be presented in a certain way. Some people are more passionate than others, some people like to yell. Some people don't. The beauty of the country we live in is that we have free speech. Nowhere does it say "free and polite" speech.

You are right I guess. I just didn't think anyone was being offensive...I didn't take it as anyone was saying anyone else was a bad parent...I didn't think anyone was saying school and education wasn't important.......

 

[craziefortigger]

Here's a thought:
Schedule a meeting with the teachers explain to them how important school and education is to you and learning comes from many sources school, home, orgainizations and each place or event offers something new to learn.

Let them know that you in no way want to "cheat" your child from learning in school but you don't want to "cheat" your child from learning about family. Ask them what can you do to make sure this break is UNINTERRUPTIVE to both your child and the classroom. Additional work before? Make-up after? Special project from his trip? EPCOT could offer countless possibilities!

There are soooooooooo many Home Schooled Children that the resources are abundent possibly this could help ease the negative reaction from the school.

This time you can spend with you son, undivided attention, focused on him and you mostly likely mold him more than any text book! When my son was 11 I was a single mom and I can guarantee that the time I spent with him sharing things, learning things and just plain enjoying each other is what helped make him the absolute incredible young man today! Besides 13-16yr old I was invisible to my son, now at almost 17 he's thinking about going back to WDW with me!

What ever you decide...YOU DECIDE and Be Happy with your decision.

 

[chesirekate]

I would pull my child out of school for a vacation in a heartbeat if that was the only time that we could take that vacation. School work can be made up, this special time with your son cannot.

 

[MamaLema]

Originally posted by randy55
So sad to see that any parent would think school is so unimportant in your childs life that you think it is alright to take them out of school to go on a vacation.

What a lesson that is for your child, to skip school, work or family, when you want to go have some fun. It's a great Life lesson, just skip it, and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

We are taking kids out of school for 2 WEEKS and nobody is going to make me feel guilty about it.

20 years from now I'm sure they will treasure the memories our family will make. Life is too short for work and no play.

 

[zurgswife]

Originally posted by Brian Noble
I definitely appreciate the importance of family. However, there are lots of ways to have "family bonding time" that don't involve a week long trip to Disney World when school is in session.

Many folks seem to be suggesting that, because I schedule our family vacations to coincide with schools' vacations that I am somehow putting family second. Frankly, I find that offensive.

Originally posted by Gaiusrex
I don't think anyone was suggesting you were a bad parent because you don't take your kids out of school. I don't know why you'd take offense.

Originally posted by Brian Noble
Really? Here are some quotes that suggest precisely that.

Originally posted by zurgswife
family is important above all else [...] Family time is what is missing in this day and age.

WOW!!! Talk about taking something out of context.....My comment was based on the following statement by another poster...

[So sad to see that any parent would think school is so unimportant in your childs life that you think it is alright to take them out of school to go on a vacation.

What a lesson that is for your child, to skip school, work or family, when you want to go have some fun. It's a great Life lesson, just skip it, and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

I was giving MY OPINION that it shows a more important lesson that family is important...but I never stated that the lesson is exclusive of anything else .... hence that you are a bad parent for not pulling your kids out...just that we parents that due aren't bad either.

MY ORIGINAL COMMENT

It teachs a more important lesson that family is important above all else....

Family time is what is missing in this day and age. If I chose that a vacation to wherever is more important then a few days of school; you can count on that I will pull my kids out of school.

Luckily I don't have to deal with a public school system to dictate what am allowed to do or not to do with my children. My kids attend a very small church school and if I want to take them out I just let the school know. Which I'm about to do in 58 days...YIPPEEE

 

[m&m's mom]

I am taking my DD (2nd grader) out of school for 2 days after Thanksgiving. We have taked her out both K and 1st grade as well although the 2 extra days we are taking this year is the least amount of time.
IMHO family quality time cannot be made up. I just left from telling my DD's teacher about our plans and she said fine. Now last year the teacher was very ugly about it. Just depends on luck of the draw w/ the teacher.
On a side note, my DH had a heart attack 2 summers ago and almost died. I knew I was right in taking them out of school previously as you never know when life throws you a curve.
We are also taking both sets of Grandparents. Yep, it would be easier w/ just the 4 of us vs. 7 of us, But, memories w/families cannot be recreated.
Go for it!

 

[wildformickey]

Boy, did I open a can of worms or what? I hadn't realized that this particular subject had been posted before as I usually don't have much time to read thru them all--With that being said, I appreciate all the feedback and want to add that my son has never missed a day of school since he started in kindergarten, is a straight A student, and so far this year, has not had one wrong answer on any paper or test. The school will be pulling him out of school for 2 days this week to attend a WORD (we oppose and resist drugs) convention (he is a WORD officer) 3hrs away from home, and will be pulling him out to attend a drug coalition meeting with our county officials next week. The week after that he is being pulled from one day of classes (by the school) to attend another drug free seminar in another city. That's 4 days this month that he will miss his normal classes at the discretion of the school. Our schools will have the whole week off for Thanksgiving this yr (I get to work all week as I have to work every other holiday) and I think I may tell him before this week long break so that he will have the opportunity to do some of the missed work that week if the teachers give us the opportunity.
I think I will go back to just reading instead of posting as I didn't realize how heated this would get. Thank you all for your opinions and I goes to show that we really do live in a wonderful country where we can ALL voice our own opinions!!!!

 

[Sandyincanada]

hey............ make that "wonderful countries",

Don't worry about it, we've taken our kids out of school for a week for several years. I dont think 1 week out of 10 months of school will make or break them. This has never hurt our kids and they love talking about our family vacations. They are now teens, 18 and 15 and are still very close to us and I really feel these vacations have helped that. They are also very responsible so I guess missing 1 week of school didn't give them bad habits or values.

Have fun

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm pulling my 11yo 6th grader out of school for a couple of days the end of January for a mother/son trip to WDW. I'd originally decided on that time because my kids had a couple of teacher in-service days the end of Jan so we could either take the long weekend and have 4 days at WDW or pull them out of school for 1 day and we'd have 5 days there.

Then the school took away one of the days. I decided not to take my two older kids because I didn't want them missing so much school--DS is a Freshman and DD and Senior and they weren't looking forward to a family vacation as much as they could be. I decided on a solo trip with my 11yo (I'll bring my 4yo in early Dec).

With only 1 in-service day I knew I'd need to pull him out of at least one day of school. I actually let him make the decision and without missing a beat he wants to be pulled out of 2 days to have 5 days at WDW.

He's a kid that takes school VERY seriously, tends to be a perfectionist, and knows that he will have work to make up. He will be able to handle the make-up work. Also, the trip will take place at the end of one semester/beginning of another and I will talk to his teachers soon to decide whic 2 days would be best for him to miss and will plan the trip based on that.

This isn't a decision that I take lightly and rarely take the kids out of school for any reason. I try to schedule dr appts during before or after school hours, and only let them take a sick day if they really are too sick to make it through the day. School is very important to us.

T&B

 

[Noelle]

I tried to read all of the posts and so hopefully I'm not repeating something already said. If so forgive me...

I believe one of the primary reasons why public schools do not want you to have your child absent is because they get federal funding based on children's attendance. So in other words, if too many kids don't come to school on one day; that's less $$$ for the school disctrict. It's a really big reason why Los Angeles Unified Schools have a zero tolerance for absences.

I'm a big believer in family and education. My 6th Grader has only missed school twice for something other than illness. Once for a funeral and the second time for us to leave to WDW for Xmas break. She missed a 1/2 day that was their end of session holiday party. That's since Pre-school, so I think we're doing a pretty good job. But family time is important too. You just have to find a healthy balance thats right for your child and you.

Next year, we want to take the kids during October to WDW. I've already called my school district to find out the calendar for October 2005. I know that Rosh Hashanna, Yom Kippur, and Columbus day all fall in October. Her shcool usually has a teacher administration day the day before or after one of these holidays. So I'm trying to plan our trip, so she only misses one day.

 

[goofy4tink]

You know, now that you bring up the attendence based funding, I wonder. When I was subbing at my dd's elem. school a year ago something funny happened. At the end of school program for the kids, they handed out perfect attendence awards. Well, there were three kindergarteners that received awards that did not have perfect attendence. Seems the teacher really didn't keep attendence and had lost track of who was actually there every day. I wonder how many times that happens.

Why is it okay for the schools to pull the kids out for their own reasons, but as parents we can't. My dd has missed time in class for fund raising instructions, drug awareness programs, bullying classes, classes on 'how to be nice to each other'. If the kids were really missing just classroom instruction time, I probably wouldn't mind so much.

 

[dolphindan1]

Here is my opinion if it matters....My parents died when I was around 5....I have not one single memory of either of them....My grand parents adopted me....I came to know them as mom and dad....My dad was high on education I was not to miss school for any reason at the same token family was huge we travelled in the summer and on Holidays....My biggest memory is walking epcot with my parents or grandparents around New Years in the 80's....Now a father of 2 boys of my own I take a week off and spend with my parents in the summer and a week off every December for our family trip usually Disney but GASP my wife says she is getting burned out with Disney....Maybe a divorce is coming....LOL....anyway my oldest is in 2nd grade now and has been on the A honor roll since he has been in school rule is grades slip no more being taken out of class...I think losing my parents and having no memories of them has put a added perspective on Family time....its hugely important no matter when you can have the time....I say do whats best for you....I cherish every minute with my kids in Disney....Why??....well I was pushed so hard in school that when I went off to College at Clemson I rebelled and partied and dropped out after 2 years....now I work all the time as does my wife....So a week with them is heaven sent....I push my kids in school but at the same time do not make it a life or death episode and they are gonna be rewarded for doing well....I dont want them to rebel against school like I did either....So do what you think is best you wil dictate more to the person they will be than anyone....And being a single parent you have already shown what hard work is....Congrats on that...Go and have fun...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Originally posted by goofy4tink
You know, now that you bring up the attendence based funding, I wonder. When I was subbing at my dd's elem. school a year ago something funny happened. At the end of school program for the kids, they handed out perfect attendence awards. Well, there were three kindergarteners that received awards that did not have perfect attendence. Seems the teacher really didn't keep attendence and had lost track of who was actually there every day. I wonder how many times that happens.

B]

I've also seen that happen. The funniest example that I can think of is at a couple of end-of-year awards assemblies in middle school 2 students got perfect attendence awards and they weren't there that day to walk up and get the award. Of course maybe they'd been there every other day that eyar, but still funny that they weren't there that day. I wonder if they mailed them their awards.

Our schools pull the kids out for all kinds of things. The band in middle school gets rewarded every year with a trip to Hershey Park, there are all kinds of field trips and some of them border on non-educational, our high school band goes to WDW every other year (of course that is an excused absence, but if I do the same thing as a family it's not--yep, marching in the MK parade turns into into an educational experience. lol).

Our kids really do work hard and I don't have a problem with them having breaks, but I think that parents should be allowed the same judgement calls as long as it's not being abused. Of course then the schools would have to determine what abuse is.

T&B

T&B

 

[Cleokitty]

We're lucky. We don't have to worry about pulling our kids out. We have the option of year-round school where the kids go for 9 weeks and then are off for 3 weeks (5 weeks in summer and Dec-early Jan). BUT, if we didn't have that option, we'd pull our girls out (1st & 3rd grades) when we needed to. DH works 16-18 hour days, sometimes 7 days a week so time with him is quite valuable. And, when he CAN get off, we GO.

Pulling kids out doesn't make you a bad or irresponsible parent. We all do the best we can with what we have to work with and if that's not enough, well . . . we've done our best.

Regarding the zero tolerance for absences, it has always bugged me that once our kids get into public schools, the school system believes that IT takes precedence over everything in our children's lives except religious holidays. My view is, "Excuse me. I gave birth to them. I love them and would die for them. They're mine, not yours. You can't tell us how to live our lives." But, realistically, when push comes to shove, we play along with their power game. And on that note I'll get off my soapbox.

Try to approach the school with the idea that Epcot presents a great learning opportunity. Take a quick tour of Orlando and snap some shots of what the area looks like 4-months post-huricane--not on a morbid note but maybe he could do a "weather" presentation showing how long it takes to TRULY recover from natural disasters. How about a travel journal--if flying document security at the airport; if driving, let him map it out and note changes in geography, etc. There are endless possibilities of how you can make this trip educational enough to appease the school and still have a great time.

Regardless of what response the school has, it sounds like you and your son work hard all year. Take your vacation when you can and enjoy your time together.

 

[Josh's Mom]

There is also the happy medium of rather than going to an extreme and taking the kids out for two weeks why not just a long weekend where they only miss a day or two. We are leaving next week and taking my son out of schoold for only a Friday and Monday. It will be a quick trip but still an important family trip. Also, it will not put him behind in his school work. Remember family time is important but also that it is very hard for these kids to catch up at school. At my son's age they are learning so much every day I could never put him through the stress of missing too many days and I know for a fact (because I asked him) he wouldn't want to miss many more days than that. We try to do a couple of long weekend during the year (always one in October for MNSSHP) and then it doesn't put him behind.

9 days and counting for us!

 

[nowellsl]

I'll just jump in again - please realize it is not the schools that are telling you your child must attend, it is the laws of your state and federal government. They are called compulsory attendance laws and the schools don't just uphold them to be mean - they are doing their jobs! If you have issues with attendance laws you should write your legislators or try home school or private schools.