Tablemate Problems?

[andicoco]

AS A SINGLE MOM TRAVELING WITH MY DD 5, I COULDNT WAIT TO SEE WHO WOULD BE MY TABLEMATES ON OUR CRUISE .....THE FIRST NIGHT AT DINNER WE WERE SEATED AT A TABLE FOR FOUR..I ANXIOUSLY WAITED TO SEE IF IT WAS ANOTHER SINGLE MOM WITH CHILD....IMAGINE MY SURPRISE TO SEE A SINGLE DAD AND HIS SON!! ALTHOUGH IT WAS A LITTLE AKWARD AT FIRST WE REALLY ENJOYED EACH OTHERS COMPANY.....NO LOVE CONNECTION, BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE THAT THE DISNEY FOLKS TRIED...... NEXT TIME I WANT A BIG GIANT TABLE THOUGH...........

 

[katerkat]

Jeanny,
When I cruised on RCCL for my honeymoon, two of the couples were consistantly late. Our waiter would take our orders and magically managed to organize the soups and salads so we weren't waiting for the others, but we all got our entrees at the same time anyway. I can't imagine why Disney wouldn't do that. Maybe CamColt had a fairly new server who wasn't used to doing that?

 

[Jeanny]

clears it up a little.. but I still can't imagine your waiter making you wait until the other people show up. I mean, what if I'm HUNGRY when I get to the table and actually want to eat, and not have to sit and wait for other people who may or may not show up...

 

[>>^..^<<]

I recall there being bread(s) and butter on the table... I would start on those.

Maybe that family was just being courteous waiting for their table mates... the first time I would wait but if they made a habit of being late.. I would EAT!

>>^..^<<

 

[gdimanzo]

We are a non-English native speaking couple (we speak Spanish)on the 20s and went on DCL twice.

I read some people posted in this thread part of their 'nightmare' experience was to be seated with non-English speakers and I don't blame them. Actually, that was part of my worries at dinner time, I didn't wanted to be a pain for our tablemates!

In our second cruise (our honeymoon) we went to Lumiere's for our first dinner and my fear came true, we were assigned in a table of four and a couple were waiting for us (from Gainesville, FL). After introduction I appologized and talked with them about how unlucky they were to be sitted with a foreing couple. I couldn't be more wrong. We had so much in common and I can't imagine better companions for our cruise. The staff almost had to kick us out of the dinner rooms every night since we were the last ones to leave (it took us our time to taste all desserts)

For the whole week we share some time with them at the pool, the beach and OffBeat. And we missed them in our Palo's night.

We had our ugly experience in that cruise one morning at Breakfast, we went to Lumiere's and my wife and I sit in front of each other in a table of 8 since the DCL staff told us to sit there. Five minutes later a family of 4 was sit in the table with us and since I was talking with my wife this guy told his wife a rude comment about how they hated the way DCL managed their tables and next day they better be going to Topsiders so they don't have to share with strangers. I played the old I didn't hear you and finished my breakfast and leave, not without saying goodbye in proper English.

The truth is it really affect me. I couldn't imagine how this people was in a DISNEY cruise!!. I guess after a couple of days of Disney I lower my defence a little too much.

Thank to our dinner mates we arrive at the conclusion that, yes, nasty people also goes in cruises (the odds are you can expect some in a 2000 people boat) but that doesn't have to affect your cruise experience. You can tell there's a lot of nice people from the conversations I had at the pool or the Captain's reception. For a lot of us getting to cruise is something we can't do as often us we like (well, that probably happens even to the people that goes lots of times ) and is not worthy to let someone ruin your experience.

DCL do try to put you with suitable people regarding age and family composition (that's why you start your rotation in Lumiere's if you don't have children) but that's for sure a hard task. Don't let this thread scare you (search the forum for 'tablemates friends' for a change) and if you end up with some people you can't stand, be polite and ask for a table change.

Sorry for the long post!

German

 

[mcnuss]

Originally posted by Jeanny
Not trying to be rude or sound dumb, but I'm trying to figure out why YOU had to wait for the late people? Why couldn't you order and start your meal? How were you to know if they were even coming to dinner??? Did you have to wait a certain amount of time before ordering and hoped that they showed up??
thanks, Jeanny

Jeanny - I confess that my family was a little late to dinner a couple of times (once due to a drink disaster during a lively and interactive song at Dueling Pianos, oops!), but our tablemates absolutely did not have to wait for us. Our serving team had already gotten their drinks and were taking their orders when we arrived. I am not sure if the serving team was just particularly good, or if the other family said something, but most assuredly, you should not have to wait for the tardy.

 

[mpaone]

On our first cruise in Oct. 2001 our family of 5 (me, DH, DS13, DD10, DD8) sat at a table for 8 with an older retired couple. At first I thought uh-oh how will they handle being with MY kids?! But they were the sweetest, friendliest couple. They were very easy to talk to.

On our second cruise we had asked for a table of 5 just so we could spend some time with *just* the kids. But we were placed with another family of 5 and it was GREAT!!! My girls hit it off with their girls and they were together non-stop for the rest of the cruise. The parents were a blast to be around, so it worked out really well!

 

[rae519]

The only thing that upsets me is when parent know that their child is bothering an adult tablemate and refuse to correct the situation.

Instance one, the child (8 years old!) kept trying to take things off my plate to eat and kept kicking me during the meal. I politely asked him to please not eat from my plate and stop kicking me. Parents shook their head and said, "Ohh, he's just trying to be friendly." Well, then put him between you both and deal with it! Then he smeared the Mickey bar on his face and proceeded to wipe it on my shirt! The parent's thought that was just soooo cute. Yeah, very cute. (The stain did come out.)

Another instance, the child (10 years old) kept taking my silverware and using my glass to drink from. I mentioned it politely and Dad just looked at me as if I were in the wrong. I moved my things to the other side and just tried hard to ignore it. Then he started to sneeze and guess where it all landed. Yeah. Appetizing.

Yes, we could have/should have asked to be moved - but we didn't. I'm glad we didn't because it showed my son a very good lesson in both good table manners and toleration.

I kept my DS (7) seated between us (the adults) and he had the same good manners on the ship as he has at home. And from watching those other two children, he was very pleased with himself.

I know there is a difference between toleration and being a "doormat" but these are children I am talking about. Children that have NOT been taught and are not being taught any table manners.

I'm not a perfect person, so I'm definitely not a perfect Mom and DS is certainly not perfect but I expect him to respect others and have good manners.

And I am certainly not going to put my child next to a table mate to supervise while I sit oblivious to the obvious!

Fortunately, the other tables mates I've had were wonderful and several were friends I made at this forum and have stayed in touch with since - others were table mates now friends.

Rae

 

[mpaone]

Well that is just outright disrespectful and thoughtless of the parents. Especially from an 8 and 10 year old!!! At that age they should have *some* idea of table etiquette and just simple table manners. They eating off the plate and drinking out of my cup would have been my breaking point. I would have had to say something to the parents!

 

[mcnuss]

Rae - you are by far a better person than I am, because I would have lost it if someone else's child took my silverware or tried to eat from my plate. That's just revolting. While I not sure how I would have really handled it, I suppose that I would have taken one of the parents aside and told them that I did not think Susie or Sammy was cute, and to please take control. Failing that, I think we'd have moved.

You are so right that it is a good lesson for our own children - really reinforces the message of why we are harping on them for their manners! - but it sounds like it came at a pretty high cost.

 

[ncligs]

Originally posted by rae519
Then he started to sneeze and guess where it all landed. Yeah. Appetizing.

Rae, I give you credit for holding your composure.I would have told off both parents.

 

[rae519]

I love kids (babies to teenagers) - I really, really do! I had one (22 plus years ago) and have adopted twice. I don't think there are bad kids in the world -children only learn what they are taught. It certainly wasn't up to me to teach them manners or correct them. I did feel I had to entertain them and stay on guard during the entire meal.

I had hoped that the parents would have gotten a clue but if they didn't by then, well, nothing I could have/would have said would have made a difference.

I'm really not a better person, I had my little "hissy fit" when we went back to the room! And I'm not proud to say that if you would have heard me, you'd have thought the 7th Fleet had landed!!!!!!!!!

All in all - it makes for interesting conversation when we do get well behaved children as dinner mates!

Rae

 

[trishy]

On our last cruise, our family of 5 had to sit with a family of 3. The boy was only 5 and he was extremely ,hummm how to put this nicely "Excitable"(?) He was all over the place. The mother kept trying to seat him next to my dd6 - guess she thought that was cute - and it was...the first night. He was a pain in the neck. Kept taking her soup spoon every night. Get this, she would just hand it back to my daughter as if it was okay that his germs (even after he put the thing in his mouth) were all over it. Of course, my daughter would give me the "look" and I would get her a new one. If she ordered something he liked, he would whine and cry (and stick his hand in her plate to get her food!) until the waiter brought him the same thing. My hubby didn't mind I think because we have 3 girls and it was quite an experience for him to be around this boy. He refused to stay seated at the table and sometimes ran around the dining room (I'm sure other DIS'rs here from that cruise saw him). And, yes, I remember they were late about half the time and EVERY single time the waiters would "slow" things down for them to catch up which really bothered me. We're not talking a couple of minutes, one night the Bingo game ran long and they didn't waltz in until 30 minutes after us. We had already had the appetizer and entree was just ordered when they arrived - we received our entrees at the same time. It was irritating. Anyway, not to be a sourpuss, I have had wonderful seatmates at lunch and breakfast. Our first DCL cruise was with some friends, so I can't count that - obviously we got along.

 

[Jeanny]

McNuss, I completely understand being a few minutes late~ but camcolt's post sounded like the other tablemates were REAL late and the server just made them wait until they arrived before they took all the orders... something about they had to wait until the others caught up??

I may have just misunderstood what he was trying to post, but I couldn't understand why they had to wait that long.... I'm sure there is more to the story.


Rae~ I would have just gotten up and walked away when the kid sneezed on me!!!

Jeanny

 

[rae519]

Trishy - I just don't understand why parent think that behavior is so cute! And ohhh, the germs! We work so hard to keep our hands clean, get served from the buffet and refreshment station then get the Mannerless Child with Thoughtless Parents as our dining partners.

I don't agree with the process of "slowing down" dinner to accomodate the rude. Once is excusable - hey, things happen - but after that, it's just plain thoughtlessness.

Again, I know none of us are perfect but a little consideration and control does go a long way!!

menuss - I forgot to say this in my previous post but I think you have a good point about talking with the parents. Unfortunately, I'm from New York and at times I sound very confrontational and aggressive. This usually causes more problems than the original one!
Okay, quick story here - but a true one!
I once had a father tell me he was going to take me outside and "kick my ...." because I scolded his son for hitting a boy that two others were holding for him. I told him to "bring it on, tough guy" - it took the karate instructor to keep us apart - SERIOUSLY!
I'm 5'2" and at that time was about 110lbs soaking wet, this guy was nearly 6' MONSTER size. (I'd have won. I'd have fought dirty!)

So maybe it's best I just keep my big mouth shut on this one!

; )

Rae
alias "Tough girl"!

 

[atigeg]

Over the course of our Disney cruises, we have run into people who refuse to sit with us MANY times at breakfast and lunch...I've lost count! The servers will bring them to our table, and the minute they see someone else is sitting there, they say, "No, we want to sit alone." Maybe we just scare them off
But really, it does seem rude...some will say "Nothing personal" while others say nothing at all. Some look totally aghast at the fact that Disney would dare to even consider seating them with others!
For us, our most miserable dinners were the times that we were seated alone (has happened two or three times). We are very adaptable, so even when we've had non-native English speakers at our table (has happened a couple of times), we have still had some good conversations with them. It requires a little more effort, but it's worth it to learn about other people and places.
Of course, it would definitely put me over the edge if I were at a table where the kids were grabbing my food or dinnerware! We must have good karma or something because every time we've been seated with kids, they have been very mannerly...even the 3 to 5 year olds. We once had a little boy at the table who was about 5 or 6. Every night he would proceed to take almost every piece of bread in the bread basket! This didn't bother us, as the servers willingly bring more, but it totally embarrassed his poor mother. But the interesting part was, he ate every piece that he took! He absolutely loved the bread (I know how he feels, as that's what I'd like to do with the banana bread at Parrot Cay). Of course, he lost his appetite by the time the meal rolled around, but he seemed perfectly content. If he ever grows up and winds up in jail (highly unlikely, since he was a nice little kid), I hope they don't try to punish him with bread and water rations because he would love it!
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

 

[rae519]

Barb -
People refused to sit with you?! Boy, were they ever missing a good time! Just from your posts, I know that anyone from the DIS Board would enjoy your company.

AND they want to sit alone? NO WAY! Can they actually get away with that request at so late in the cruise?! Where do they sit? In the kitchen? Hall? Lobby? No matter, because I know that if that happened to us, I really wouldn't care where they sat! ; )

Rae

 

[atigeg]

Oops, I should have specified that I meant during breakfast and lunch...I'll modify my previous post so that no one things we really do scare people off at dinner!
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

 

[rae519]

Okay, Barb - that makes it a little bit better!!!!

We brought the little bottles of maple syrup (Cracker Barrel) with us on our last trip. Our breakfast table mates were eyeing them but we didn't say a word. Finally when our pancakes arrived, the server asked THE question, "Is that liquor you are pouring?"

We could have laugh all day at the expression of relief on their faces when we said, 'No! It's maple syrup!" Guess they thought Mom and I were lushes!

If laughter is contagious, then I want a long lasting virus!

Rae

 

[mcnuss]

Unfortunately, I'm from New York and at times I sound very confrontational and aggressive. This usually causes more problems than the original one!

Me too! And I am just about 5' 1" if I stand up straight as I can...but I think that I intimidate a lot of people bc I tell it like it is and don't pull any punches.

I had a similar experience to your table experience on the plane coming back on a very late flt. from the cruise. We had a 2 & a 4 yo behind us and we were in 1st class (one of the few perks of my travels...). The parents got on the plane last and the FA commented that the little girl was cute. Mom replies "let's see if you think she's cute after the flight". I knew we were in for it when I realized they were in the row behind DD and me. They had not bought a seat for said 2 yo, and she proceeded to kick me, pull my hair from behind, throw water on me, and so on for 1/2 hour. Then the Mom let her loose to wander the aisle. She came over & stood next to me, yelling in my ear, and hitting me with an empty water bottle. Mom was behind me giggling, she thought it was all so precious. I turned around then and asked the woman to please take control of her child, that my child was trying to sleep and that the kid's antics were keeping her awake and really irritating me. I tried very hard to be nice, really I did... Mom looked shocked - who would speak to her about her little cutie such a way?! And then said, "oh, you have a child up there with you? I never noticed." My reply was "that't the nicest compliment you could give us, thank you. " Of course, all the while my DH was pretending he did not know me, but I've gotten used to that...