Table Manners....

[Katy Belle]

I'm not too picky, generally, but my in laws have thououghly grossed me out at the table. Here are a few...
* eating with your fork, straight out of the serving dish. So, your dirty fork touches the food others are to eat.
* instead of napkins, MIL used to put one (sometimes dirty) dish towel on the table and call it "the community finger towel.". that is when I started bringing paper napkins and setting the table.
*super gross..... Scratching your BACK with your fork, and still using it to eat.
*double dipping
*never washing hand before the meal...even with a snotty, nose blowing cold!
*picking up food and eating it that should be fork food! Whole pieces of pie!

I will stop now.

 

[joviroxx]

*super gross..... Scratching your BACK with your fork, and still using it to eat.
.

Ok, Im speechless... I would be scarred for life if I saw that! What is wrong with people?????

 

[htmom]

-Being loud at the table.
-Reaching across instead of just asking for something.

 

[doxdogy]

I am not seeing any sign (e.g. this guy ) to indicate that you are joking. Put a bib on me because I must be a big baby in your eyes, as is every other person that I've ever eaten with or in the vicinity of . If I noticed someone breaking their bread into small pieces and then buttering each little piece, I wouldn't think they were "infantilized", but I would think it was bizarre even if it is some kind of ancient bit of dining etiquette. It just strikes me as really strange that that would be anyone's biggest dining pet peeve .

Mine would be undertipping when the service is at least good, and double-dipping in a shared bowl of dip, sauce, oil, etc.

Slap a big ole bib on me too and call me a baby. I have never heard of this dining rule. I don't think I have ever seen anyone at dinner break a roll into pieces and butter it to eat. Down here we spread the butter on the roll, bite into it and eat. Here comes the worst part, if there is gravy we use the bread/roll to sop up the gravy.

 

[prncess674]

Buttering an entire piece of bread/roll and eating it, rather than breaking off small pieces and buttering each individually. It absolutely infantilizes the person.

I am not seeing any sign (e.g. this guy ) to indicate that you are joking. Put a bib on me because I must be a big baby in your eyes, as is every other person that I've ever eaten with or in the vicinity of . If I noticed someone breaking their bread into small pieces and then buttering each little piece, I wouldn't think they were "infantilized", but I would think it was bizarre even if it is some kind of ancient bit of dining etiquette. It just strikes me as really strange that that would be anyone's biggest dining pet peeve .

Mine would be undertipping when the service is at least good, and double-dipping in a shared bowl of dip, sauce, oil, etc.

Why would I be joking? That is how I was brought up. Lots of other people too, apparently. Emily Post is on my side.
A coworker used to butter all his bread at once and it did look like he was making a sandwich.

http://www.chow.com/food-news/54040/butter-me-up/

Janepod is correct. Smearing the entire piece of bread and then chomping on it is wrong. The correct way is to tear off a bite sized piece of bread, add a bit of butter to that piece and consume. No one is saying tear the bread into small bites, butter each piece, then consume like a two year old.

The proper ettiquette way is tear, smear, eat, tear, smear eat, etc.

 

[TinkerBelled]

Janepod is correct. Smearing the entire piece of bread and then chomping on it is wrong. The correct way is to tear off a bite sized piece of bread, add a bit of butter to that piece and consume. No one is saying tear the bread into small bites, butter each piece, then consume like a two year old.

The proper ettiquette way is tear, smear, eat, tear, smear eat, etc.

This is true. My family always held a quite informal dinner table, though, so context mattered for us. Basic manners were enough for home: don't be gross (covering a host of evils already mentioned), ask for things to be passed, etc.

When dining out at a nice restaurant, I enjoy being a little formal and archaic: buttering my bread as above, eating soup the right way (spooning away, sipping from the side, etc.), knowing where to place my utensils to signal the waiter that I'm pausing or that I'm done, etc. It's mostly just fun for me. However, it has served me in good stead on occasion, especially during more formal dinners in the UK.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Little did I know how ill-mannered my whole family is - we always butter the roll and never break it off into little pieces. I probably would have yelled at the kids for ripping the roll up!

 

[KristaTX]

Why would I be joking? That is how I was brought up. Lots of other people too, apparently. Emily Post is on my side.
A coworker used to butter all his bread at once and it did look like he was making a sandwich.

http://www.chow.com/food-news/54040/butter-me-up/

Actually, breaking off a piece of bread and buttering the bread is the proper way to eat a roll. As someone who grew up in a home where, if you broke table manners rules, you were asked to be excused (hiccups were included in the table ban), I'm pretty familiar with table manners.

My kids know not to butter the whole roll, to eat with their mouths closed (they police each other), and to put the napkin on their laps when we're out (or at my parents - lol). And to ask to be excused when they want to leave the table. I do try not to be my father, and only point out a few mistakes, instead of making meals very tense.

Janepod is correct. Smearing the entire piece of bread and then chomping on it is wrong. The correct way is to tear off a bite sized piece of bread, add a bit of butter to that piece and consume. No one is saying tear the bread into small bites, butter each piece, then consume like a two year old.

The proper ettiquette way is tear, smear, eat, tear, smear eat, etc.

I believe you guys that it is an official rule of etiquette. I just think it is a curious one, and I don't get the logic in why it would ever have become a rule. It sounds like one of those rules that someone made up long ago and some group of aristocrats said, "Yes, let's make that a rule so that we can distinguish those who are not properly trained in dining from those of us who are ." Yeah, if you were in etiquette class I can see why it would bug you; someone is breaking a rule. But if you're just casually eating at home or out with family or friends .

Whereas eating with one's mouth open, talking with food in one's mouth, eating noisily, burping, blowing your nose, double dipping, being rude to the waitstaff, slurping soup, being a cheap tipper, using your phone the whole time, reaching right in front of someone's face - those are obviously offensive, embarrassing, or just plain gross and make the dining experience uncomfortable for everyone else. I'm not sure how the bread thing can be more offensive.

So is there something inherently wrong with buttering the bread/roll? Is it watching the person make it, or watching them eat it? Don't you eat sandwiches anyway, or are sandwiches themselves gross to you? The latter would make this make more sense to me.

 

[prncess674]

Little did I know how ill-mannered my whole family is - we always butter the roll and never break it off into little pieces. I probably would have yelled at the kids for ripping the roll up!

Once again, you don't rip it all into small piece first! First take a pat of butter from the butter dish and place it on the your bread plate, you tear a SINGLE bite leaving the rest of the bread/roll whole, smear the single bite with a dab of butter, consume the bite by placing the bite inside your mouth. Tear another small bite, smear with a dab of butter, place the bite in the mouth. Gnawing on a whole smeared slice of bread is so crass.

I believe you guys that it is an official rule of etiquette. I just think it is a curious one, and I don't get the logic in why it would ever have become a rule. It sounds like one of those rules that someone made up long ago and some group of aristocrats said, "Yes, let's make that a rule so that we can distinguish those who are not properly trained in dining from those of us who are ." .

Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking. Lip licking is poor table manners. Yes a sandwich is similar, but then again a sandwich is a casual meal and would never be served at a formal dinner.

What other food would you put the whole portion to your lips, gnaw off a section, then place the bitten food item back on the plate?

 

[TheIncredibles!]

DH's family has the WORSt table manners.

Blowing nose at the table
Picking/slurping teeth to remove stuck food
Reaching across somebody's space to grab something instead of asking for it to be passed
Chewing with an open mouth
Hitting teeth with utensils
Speaking with not just food in your mouth but a full mouth of food which then results in food being spit out
Cutting up everything on your plate like a child before you start eating

I could go on and on about the stuff that bothers me. I hate eating with them.

 

[MIGrandma]

Once again, you don't rip it all into small piece first! First take a pat of butter from the butter dish and place it on the your bread plate, you tear a SINGLE bite leaving the rest of the bread/roll whole, smear the single bite with a dab of butter, consume the bite by placing the bite inside your mouth. Tear another small bite, smear with a dab of butter, place the bite in the mouth. Gnawing on a whole smeared slice of bread is so crass. Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking.
Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking.

Well, la-dee-frickin'-da....

Gnawing? Crass? Seriously?

 

[marcyinPA]

Texting. My DS16 has tried to get away with that one- and I confiscate the phone. I think it's rude.

 

[Kathi OD]

Buttering an entire piece of bread/roll and eating it, rather than breaking off small pieces and buttering each individually. It absolutely infantilizes the person.

really? infantilizes someone? that's a little dramatic.

I am not seeing any sign (e.g. this guy ) to indicate that you are joking. Put a bib on me because I must be a big baby in your eyes, as is every other person that I've ever eaten with or in the vicinity of . If I noticed someone breaking their bread into small pieces and then buttering each little piece, I wouldn't think they were "infantilized", but I would think it was bizarre even if it is some kind of ancient bit of dining etiquette. It just strikes me as really strange that that would be anyone's biggest dining pet peeve .

Mine would be undertipping when the service is at least good, and double-dipping in a shared bowl of dip, sauce, oil, etc.

Why would I be joking? That is how I was brought up. Lots of other people too, apparently. Emily Post is on my side.
A coworker used to butter all his bread at once and it did look like he was making a sandwich.

http://www.chow.com/food-news/54040/butter-me-up/

Making a sandwich? Again, just a little dramatic. I guess everyone in my family is making sandwiches when we eat bread with our meals. You really find this the MOST offensive manner faux pas?

Slap a big ole bib on me too and call me a baby. I have never heard of this dining rule. I don't think I have ever seen anyone at dinner break a roll into pieces and butter it to eat. Down here we spread the butter on the roll, bite into it and eat. Here comes the worst part, if there is gravy we use the bread/roll to sop up the gravy.

We do it UP here too!

Janepod is correct. Smearing the entire piece of bread and then chomping on it is wrong. The correct way is to tear off a bite sized piece of bread, add a bit of butter to that piece and consume. No one is saying tear the bread into small bites, butter each piece, then consume like a two year old.

The proper ettiquette way is tear, smear, eat, tear, smear eat, etc.

Might be correct, but I'm betting it's not how the majority of people do it.

Once again, you don't rip it all into small piece first! First take a pat of butter from the butter dish and place it on the your bread plate, you tear a SINGLE bite leaving the rest of the bread/roll whole, smear the single bite with a dab of butter, consume the bite by placing the bite inside your mouth. Tear another small bite, smear with a dab of butter, place the bite in the mouth. Gnawing on a whole smeared slice of bread is so crass. Crusty bread sends crumbs flying and placing a butter smeared piece of bread to your lips could leave you with butter all over your lips, which then leads to lip licking. Lip licking is poor table manners. Yes a sandwich is similar, but then again a sandwich is a casual meal and would never be served at a formal dinner.

What other food would you put the whole portion to your lips, gnaw off a section, then place the bitten food item back on the plate?

Chicken legs, maybe.

 

[prncess674]

Well, la-dee-frickin'-da....

Gnawing? Crass? Seriously?

You can think it is snooty, but in my home we were always raised with proper table manners. Placing half eaten food on a plate IS crass. Every meal at home is a chance to practice, so that when you are in a formal setting it is second nature. Our more casual practice at home was to place our bread on the main dinner plate rather than set the table with a separate bread plate.

 

[KristaTX]

What other food would you put the whole portion to your lips, gnaw off a section, then place the bitten food item back on the plate?

Pizza, tacos, burritos, corn dogs, hot dogs, grilled cheese, hamburgers, gyros, fried chicken, chicken strips, ribs, watermelon, cookies, brownies, an apple, etc.

I guess I just eat a lot of crass meals.

And now I am soooooo craving a hot buttered roll or any of those other things .

 

[doxdogy]

You can think it is snooty, but in my home we were always raised with proper table manners. Placing half eaten food on a plate IS crass. Every meal at home is a chance to practice, so that when you are in a formal setting it is second nature. Our more casual practice at home was to place our bread on the main dinner plate rather than set the table with a separate bread plate.

What about a hamburger, hot dog, ribs or fried chicken? You seriously hold it until you are finished eating it? I guess by your standards, I was raised by wolves.

 

[prncess674]

Pizza, tacos, burritos, corn dogs, hot dogs, grilled cheese, hamburgers, gyros, fried chicken, chicken strips, ribs, watermelon, cookies, brownies, an apple, etc.

I guess I just eat a lot of crass meals.

And now I am soooooo craving a hot buttered roll or any of those other things .

Those are not items that one would typically have in a formal dining establishment, unless of course you think Applebees is a formal dining establishmet.

Yes, apples and watermelon may be included in a fruit salad, but I have never seen a whole apple or watermelon served to me in a white table cloth restaurant.

What about a hamburger, hot dog, ribs or fried chicken? You seriously hold it until you are finished eating it? I guess by your standards, I was raised by wolves.

I would not consume hot dogs and hamburgers (or any sandwich) at a formal restaurant.

 

[mjkacmom]

Chicken legs, maybe.

Please tell me you don't pick up a whole chicken leg, bite a piece off, and then put it down on the plate! There are utensils, such as a knife and fork, for eating large pieces of meat.

I agree with the PP - we don't have bread plates for daily meals, although my entire extended family always provides them for holiday meals. The butter knife is on the butter plate, but not used for buttering bread. I think some people are really defensive about this - I'm sorry you weren't better educated about table manners while growing up.

 

[goofy!]

I have a pathological neurotic obsession with table manners. DH calls me the table manners nazi LOL. I don't know why, but bad manners grate my nerves.
-elbows on the table
-chewing with your mouth open
-hats at the table
-cutting up ALL your meat before you eat it
-not putting your fork down while you chew
-using silverware correctly

- yes, there are more

Oh, they go on and on LOL! At home I can be more relaxed with SOME of them like the cutting all your meat first, but if we are out, no way! My kids laugh at me but I can tell you , their table manners are pristine!!

Does continental style grate on your nerves? My parents are European and I was taught the continental style, so my knife always stays in my right hand and my fork never switches over to my right to eat.

The knife and for are not always put down while you chew because you do not have to switch all the time like in the American zig-zag style.

And I was taught the tear/butter/eat way of eating bread. Although at home, we are more relaxed just because of some of the reasons some have listed, ie: wanting the butter to melt into your warm bread.

 

[KristaTX]

What bad table manner drives you crazy?

Mine is smacking. I can't stand it!!

I don't see where the OP said "in fine dining establishments and at formal meals."

I just think the bread thing is an odd first choice pet peeve.