Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[burly]

Im jumping in....
The words about your dad...Just lost mine...Perfect
The surprise rotfl2:
I'm laughing so hard i'm pulling an uncle bob, and laughing again and maybe shootin snot on my screen.......butt my cheeks are clenched so mostly the quiet house hears little fssddsszzzts...
Absolutely loving it!

 

[praisehisname]

And this is why I have not been on the DIS for 2 weeks. My youngest went off ot all day kindergarten and I just couldnt bear to be at home. It was too quiet. So, I have been on a 2 week shopping spree. Honestly, I drop them off, go shopping, pick them up 7 hours later and go home! I have to stop but for now Sales are easing the pain a tad. I just missed my kids so much and this was the first time I've been alone without them. So I understand your future withdrawls and the bathtub draining analogy. Its so dead on.

Thanks for the words of understanding! Instead of shopping, I'm hoping I can actually clean my house all the way through...and have it stay clean!!!

Denise

 

[AZMickeyfans]

Thanks for the words of understanding! Instead of shopping, I'm hoping I can actually clean my house all the way through...and have it stay clean!!!

Denise

THAT was Dh's hope for me as well. Somehow it hasnt happened. But we are only 2 weeks into the year. There is hope for me still.

 

[winkers]

THAT was Dh's hope for me as well. Somehow it hasnt happened. But we are only 2 weeks into the year. There is hope for me still.

I can't believe your kids have been in school for 2 weeks already! I still have a week and a half before ours starts.

 

[Mrs. The King]

Mmmm...
This was one of my biggest reasons for homeschooling; I just couldn't imagine not having my kids with me. But, alas, two out of three of them are starting "regular" school in 10 days. I'm about to go through some serious withdrawal...
DED!!! Love this line!!! NOZUBB
We've been to Crystal Palace for dinner, but it sounds like we need to try the breakfast!!!
Uh oh! Sounds ominous...and yet I can't wait to hear about it!

Denise

Hey Denise!! Hang in there! You are going to miss those kids a lot. Thanks for reading.

I had to post-you are hilarious! This is like stand up comedian...the jiggler

I am so loving your trip report! I am sure that my DD thinks I have lost my flippin mind, the way that I laugh (one of those laughing so hard I squeak laughs) I cannot wait for the next part about BBB!

Kelly

If you like this report maybe she is right! But don't worry we have lots of fun here!

I just found your trip report. I am loving it. You are so funny. I am going to go back and read your other one now.

I hope you make it back fromthat nightmare!

And this is why I have not been on the DIS for 2 weeks. My youngest went off ot all day kindergarten and I just couldnt bear to be at home. It was too quiet. So, I have been on a 2 week shopping spree. Honestly, I drop them off, go shopping, pick them up 7 hours later and go home! I have to stop but for now Sales are easing the pain a tad. I just missed my kids so much and this was the first time I've been alone without them. So I understand your future withdrawls and the bathtub draining analogy. Its so dead on.

It sucks. I have two days left.

Im jumping in....
The words about your dad...Just lost mine...Perfect
The surprise rotfl2:
I'm laughing so hard i'm pulling an uncle bob, and laughing again and maybe shootin snot on my screen.......butt my cheeks are clenched so mostly the quiet house hears little fssddsszzzts...
Absolutely loving it!

I love that!! You are a sound effects making Uncle Bob!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Chapter 7

It’s actually hard to start this chapter. I feel guilty about it. If you present things to kids in such a way, they are bound to say “Yes”. A few days before we left in the van I called on the off, off, off chance that their would be an appointment in the castle, for the one day that we were visiting the Magic Kingdom, in the morning.

Lucky me. They had an appointment! Such luck! And they could fit PC in as a “Cool Dude” appointment. I sat the kids down to ask then if they wanted to participate. PC shrugs his shoulders and says “Sure”. What a kid. Gosh, it is so fun to be his mom. How many boys would be willing to walk into princess world to get their hair done? I could hug him forever. And I love the way his head smells. How did he get so big? Holding his hand is like holding a giant piece of steak, and yet, he lets me hold it. I have to work hard not to take the beauty of his soul for granted. He is amazing.

PS opens her big, blinky green eyes wide. I explain what the appointment entails. I warn her that she would have to get her hair manipulated. This is a conundrum for my little girl. Who quit dance lessons because being forced to wear the buns pissed her off.

When she was born with a huge head of hair, I rubbed my hands together like Doctor evil. I happen to love playing with hair. PS’s hair grew in long luscious locks, beautiful curls spilling down her back. Every night we had a battle. She would be mad. I would plead. Eventually, she would let me brush out "the glory". The conditioner thick, the spray on conditioner, detangler, with hands as soft as a butterfly’s wings, I would work out the knots. And every once and a while I would peek at her lovely face. It would be squished up, frustrated with impatience.

That’s Why….
I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. I would have been less surprised if my dog started singing “Chocolate Rain” on You Tube in a thong. The surprise started in my toes and crawled up my legs all the way to my gapping open mouth. My girl had snuck behind the couch with a pair of kiddie scissors and thoroughly, patiently cut off all her hair. I found her sitting in a pool of glorious curls that I had loved, but she despised.

Message received.

We marched to the salon and got my girl the shortest version of a bob I have ever seen. The hair dresser was a genius. Able to make the hair that was cut down to the scalp blend in with the longer pieces. I held her in my lap while the hair dresser cut my hair off too. Matching mother and daughter styles. My apology for making her endure the brushing she never liked.
We held hands on the way out. She was right. Short hair looked amazing on her. It grew to about shoulder length, where we have kept in ever since.

She hears my idea about the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique. She considers it. She decides she would like to be Cinderella. Grandma had provided PS with a wide variety of Princess costumes. I pack all her accessories with our bags.rincess:

Back to the castle, we peek around the back of the castle, and find the Boutique tucked in a Nook. I walk up to sign the kids in. I wait, smiling. Ahhh. Disney.

In Disney, the Kings are probably the most easy going guests you can find. We are expecting the “Disney” attitude from the employees, but we understand that they are humans. We brought two of our own human/employees with us. So I was patient. Pleasant. As I waited at the sign in desk-ish thingy podium. After waiting a good chunk of time for the Fairy Godmothers to handle a problem with the lady in front of me. I checked the kids in. We have a seat, and pick out PS’s style. I think it was Diva princess. I looked at her face. Looking for the scissor face. Was she ok? She was glowing and excited. And regal.

A Fairy GodMother in Training (FGIT) called PC back. Another FGIT suggested that PS get dressed. No pressure to buy the expensive gowns. I walked with PS through the hair part to the dressing rooms. PS got excitedly into her gown. As we walk out to get her seated I see she is fighting back a smile. She crawls up into the chair and the FGIT welcomes her. All is going well.


Flashback**
When I found out I was having baby number two, she was planned. I must have taken 16 pregnancy tests. They would be so light, barley positive. I had heard the expression “You can’t be a little pregnant” but it seemed like I was just that, a little pregnant. I went out with a 2 year old PC and bought baby booties and a hat.

I was waiting for the first appointment when the pain struck. In my stomach, the cramping was so painful. And it wouldn’t let up. I couldn’t imagine what was wrong, but I was so scared for the baby. I remember vacuuming and setting eyes on the booties. Tears streaming down my face thinking “but I want this baby”.

I drove to the Doctors by myself. Leaving Mr. the King to stay with PC. I couldn’t imagine a small life could live in the middle of all the pain. The Doctor sent me over straight away for an ultrasound.

To see if there was a heartbeat.

Please.

Be here.

The technician found my girl, “There’s the heartbeat, strong, healthy”

And I could breathe.

I remember calling Mr. The King.
Words fail you when the news is that important, that happy.

“There’s a heartbeat, the baby is alive.” His voice was overjoyed.

The pain never let up. Sometimes stronger, sometimes lighter. But always there. Between the Doctor visits and the ridiculous number of ultrasounds I knew she was ok. Not stressed, judging from her heartbeat anyway. But in the center of this pain? How could it not be hurting her?

I prayed it was only me, please let it only be my pain.

I was on bed rest. The only thing that let up the pain a little towards the end was walking. And that was not allowed. Labor and Delivery knew us well. I walked out of there five times still pregnant. False labor. Then early labor.

I needed to see her.
I wanted her out of that nest of pain.

Again the labor pains started.

I couldn’t count how many times I dreamt of the beauty of the epidural. When I gave birth to PC, I had a beautiful epidural. His birth was easy, perfect and moving. I held him first, I cried with joy at the sight of him.

The pain would stop the minute the needle was settled in my spine. I would kiss the anesthesiologist on the lips when the numbness put an end to nine months of pain.

The Doctor never told me she had no intention on giving me an epidural. I wanted to have a drug free birth about as much as I wanted to learn how to eat fire through the jiggler.

When we got to Labor and Delivery all my friends were there, joking about taking me to the suite with my name on it. Those poor women. They were so nice to me.

My Doctor was out of state, but traveling back to deliver my daughter. Hours into labor she showed up.
“You are six centimeters, I am going to stretch you to 10”

And God bless her, she did.

With every contraction.

If I could have gotten off the bed I would have killed her.
I screamed.
So very loud.
And so very much.

Later, after, Mr. the King retold the story to me. I was out of my mind with pain. One of the nurses told me “You are scaring the other mothers on this floor”
Apparently, I went all exorcist on her and growled “Get this thing out of me!” He knew I was in trouble, because I would never refer to the baby as it. When, finally, she was born, she was whisked away by a team of doctors there just for her.

I was so relieved that they got her out of the way so I could finally get up and kill the doctor.

Time passed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mr. the King smiling. I turned my head to see my daughter cradled in his arms. Miraculously, she was fine. She was doing so good he could hold her. And his smile was from ear to ear.

I was able to snap back from my reptilian brain to my human one.
“Can I hold her?”

Mr. the King looked up shocked, realizing the screaming had stopped.

He passed her to me.

All the worry.

All the pain.

She felt none of it.
She was a little red.
But she was here.
I got to have this baby.
The one I wanted.
I was so thankful.

**

I glanced at PS, sitting tall in her chair, hiding that smile. What a fun gift? Taking her to Cinderella’s castle for a beauty day!
PC is claiming the heart of his FGIT. He is so charming and sweet. She handles his hair and head like it is a delicate robin’s egg. She is making him smile again and again.

PS is in the next chair over. Her FGIT starts to put her hair in a ponytail. She winces, but hangs tough. I made sure she had no knots and was freshly brushed so the experience would be perfect. Her FGIT is not chatty, but not rude. She starts to brush the gel through PS’s hair. Everything is going well. Okay dokie. Mr. the King is snapping pictures.

Grandma and I twitter with happiness. The kids are doing great.
PC’s hair is done, he has his “Big Reveal” It looks so awesome!!! What a cool hairstyle to walk around Disney in!

It was really cute. He marches out and waits with Grandpa in the waiting room.

PS’s FGIT has her pick her hairstyle, color of the wig, etc. She fluffs the blond wig out impressively. FGIT twists it onto PS’s hair. She hangs in there and does ok.

I feel relief. All done! The ponytail is in.
We are all set!

Then, FGIT pulls out a handful of bobby pins.

She actually resembles Edward Scissorhands with the way the pins poked ominously from between her fingers. Now if you have ever been a little girl, you know bobby pins sound cute and fun. But really they're little tentacles of the devil.
FGIT jams one into PS’s head. Seemingly straight down.
I watch her eyes and see shock.
She had no idea it was coming, facing away from the mirror the way she was. Another pin comes down and jams in. I speak up.

Me ~”Excuse me? Can we skip the rest of the bobby pins?” I said this real sweet. Nothing like the screaming in the Labor delivery room.

FGIT looked at me with distain and disgust. Her lip curls up as she delivers this beauty:
”What? No, I have to hold it all in there!” She shakes her head ruefully while shooting me a dirty, chastising look.

I am taken aback. I feel a slight blush in my cheeks.
Of course.
Holding it in.

There.

Then I think, "huh?"
Shouldn’t she listen to me?
This is my kid?
I sit back quietly. I was being uppity. Pipe down. I’m In Disney for crap’s sake.

I must take a moment here to describe something about my anatomy.

No not that.

Or that.

My eyes. They are a gift from my father. I am quite unremarkable. Just a regular soccer mom. My actual eyes are smallish. But the color of my eyes is remarkable. They are ice blue. Like a husky dog.

I watch with these beady eyes as the FGIT jams another pin in PS’s hair. She has an entire handful of these stinking things and it occurs to me they are all going in.

I watch PS’s reaction to the jamming. She curls her hands into little fists. And steals herself. Gone is the sweet smile she was holding back.
Another pin jams in. She flinches and her green eyes fill with tears. She says nothing, even though I know this is hurting her.

Me~ ”Enough! She is getting ready to cry, you need to stop”
I use my stern voice than. Not loud, but not quiet.

The FGIT looks at me. I think it is the first time she actually sees me. I see her see ice blue eyes. Pretty much nothing is scarier than when they are angry. I know this because I have seen my own father’s eyes this way.
I turn up the eyes meaner. I can see it dawn on her. She was out of line and should have listened to my request earlier.
She speaks only to PS now.
FGIT~“Is anything poking you?”
She can only nod, trying to keep herself from crying.
The FGIT starts to pull the pins out saying “Well sweetie, you have to speak up”

Me~” Please just don’t poke her with anything else”

She wasn’t going to blame this on my girl.
FGIT continued on and PS seemed relieved and still enjoying the experience.

My mother whispers “I am so glad you said something”
I felt the same way. I was frustrated that this experience was now filled with tension. I stood up and folded my arms.

I watched the FGIT like a hawk. She teases the wig hair, being very careful not to touch PS’s hair.

I sit down. She got the message. She would be gentle from now on.
Next came the make up, the glitter.
The photopass person was called over for the big reveal. PS looked excited.
I compared PS to the other girls in the salon and realized she was missing her face jewels. I mentioned it to the FGIT.
And than I did the thing I felt a little tiny bit bad about afterward. Her excuse for forgetting the jewels was
“I was just so nervous about hurting her!”

And I said.... “I don’t blame you.”

That’s all I said. I probably should have said something nice afterwards, to try and put her at ease. For Pete’s sake I used the eyes on her. (I liken the experience to seeing the Terminator come at you with one of his eyes dangling out by a string but both still looking directly at you. Scary.) And that’s just not fair. She had no idea what she was dealing with and she did turn her act around.

So I should have thrown some nice words in there. But I did not want to give her any absolution.
She spins PS around. Her smile is priceless. She is so very special to herself in the mirror.

We make a big fuss, pay and leave with our two dolled up kids. The first thing we did afterward was ride Cinderella's Carousel. PS loved ridding on one of those beautiful horses as Cinderella.

It is now close to 12:00. PS decides she would like to ride Dumbo.

Whose line is not long. Shocking. Mr. The King, PC, PS and I all get on line. Soon PC complains he needs to use the bathroom and they leave the line. Now waiting on the Dumbo ride line at noon in July can be a little bit hot. This particular day was a screaming squelching fireball with lightening. Even the short line was unbearable. PS is in her dress. She starts to tug at it. I promise we can change out of the dress as soon as Dumbo has dropped us off. I suggest getting off of the line, but she wants to ride.

We get on a yellow Dumbo. I look at my little green-eyed girl. She is so happy to be on her favorite color Dumbo. We start to laugh. We can see PC and Mr. the King and PC waiting in line from high up.

When Dumbo grinds to a halt, I take PS to change her dress. She looks adorable in regular clothes and the fancy hairstyle. She is so hot. She begs to go over to the water play spot by Ariel’s line. Grandpa agrees to take her as I wait with Grandma for the boys.

It seems like our day had a bad moment, but it worked out well. We start to discuss our plans for the rest of the day.

Up Next Princess down, I repeat, Princess down!!




Chapter 8 Glitter, Jigglers and Jellybags, Oh My!

 

[winkers]

Your story about wanting your baby so bad made me cry! I went through 4 hard pregnancies and the fear of losing 3 of them.

I think you were very nice to the FGIT....I would have asked her if she'd like me to poke her in the head with bobypins........well, ok I realy wouldn't have but I'd have been ticked too!

 

[AZMickeyfans]

Another Great update Mrs The king. Your poor daughter. Mine dances and I know the pain the bobby pins cause her and she is used to them so I can imagine how bad that was for her. Especially after everything going so great.

I cried during your labor story. I had my daughter by an emergency C-section because her heart stopped. I felt every emotion you went though.

Sounds like after that one incident everything went well for you though! Yeah!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Your story about wanting your baby so bad made me cry! I went through 4 hard pregnancies and the fear of losing 3 of them.

I think you were very nice to the FGIT....I would have asked her if she'd like me to poke her in the head with bobypins........well, ok I realy wouldn't have but I'd have been ticked too!

Thanks winkers! I can't believe you did it 4 times Kids are the only things worth that kind of worry and pain.

There was another FGIT there that was so amazing. That little girl was having a blast. PS's looked like my Poppy with hair

Another Great update Mrs The king. Your poor daughter. Mine dances and I know the pain the bobby pins cause her and she is used to them so I can imagine how bad that was for her. Especially after everything going so great.

I cried during your labor story. I had my daughter by an emergency C-section because her heart stopped. I felt every emotion you went though.

Sounds like after that one incident everything went well for you though! Yeah!

Thanks for reading it my late night friend I was proof reading the story and wound up crying again. (Am I such a pansy I cry at my own story)It has been so long since I relieved that experience.

 

[HomeschoolMama]

I'm glad the FGIT finally caught on and listened to you! I'd be upset also.

Thanks for sharing your story. I lost a baby two weeks before I got PG with my middle child (Happy birthday, Daddy! We're pregnant!) and it was so stressful the whole time- worrying if I was going to lose her too. Now she has a special place in my heart because I fought for her.

 

[ProudMommyof2]

I too got my eyes from my Dad- my portugese Dad! Big brown lasers of death. My mother long ago coined my not often look of "DO NOT MESS WITH ME RIGHT NOW!" - "the portugie glare"

My DH and I have been together 20 years ( married 13) and he has seen it a handful of times only- and always knew it meant he was in deep doggie dodo.

The GLARE can strike fear in the strongest of men. Now if someone were to hurt one of my kids- I am certain lightening bolts would shoot from them. What is wrong with people? Don't they know not to mess with the mother hen- especially when she is trying to have A DISNEY MOMENT with her daughter!? Fools!

 

[Mother the King]

You have an elegant class I enjoy observing. You handled the situation perfectly and with firm direction. I also enjoyed the flashback of the birth. I bow to the Queen of Communication. Can't wait for Princess Down. Mother the King

 

[MissMagnolia]

Finally, all caught up! You've brought the funny (I'm still crying with laughter), the sweet, and the touching - oh, and more funny. Good Stuff!

Waiting for more.

 

[lazydoxy66]

Beautiful update!!

 

[PrincessV]

I'm sorry - I don't have the time to reply as extensively as i'd like today. but HAD to post something to say thank you - for leaving me with some of this and a bunch of this and a whole lotta this

 

[whogirl'smom]

Such a sweet update (minus the "glare of death" ). I was the opposite mommy from you in the delivery room; my nurse kept saying, "It's okay, you can holler, let it out!" Sorry, I was busy concentrating on all that counting to 10 over and over, I guess. I'll just break your hand with the death grip, thanks just the same!

I'm a mean mom, I guess; dd tried to talk me into BBB this trip but I reminded her that she's been to Libby Lu twice this year already, and it's almost the same. Now I feel even meaner, reading that...geesh, you think I could get an appointment this close? 53 days!

 

[Mrs. The King]

I'm glad the FGIT finally caught on and listened to you! I'd be upset also.

Thanks for sharing your story. I lost a baby two weeks before I got PG with my middle child (Happy birthday, Daddy! We're pregnant!) and it was so stressful the whole time- worrying if I was going to lose her too. Now she has a special place in my heart because I fought for her.

I too got my eyes from my Dad- my portugese Dad! Big brown lasers of death. My mother long ago coined my not often look of "DO NOT MESS WITH ME RIGHT NOW!" - "the portugie glare"

My DH and I have been together 20 years ( married 13) and he has seen it a handful of times only- and always knew it meant he was in deep doggie dodo.

The GLARE can strike fear in the strongest of men. Now if someone were to hurt one of my kids- I am certain lightening bolts would shoot from them. What is wrong with people? Don't they know not to mess with the mother hen- especially when she is trying to have A DISNEY MOMENT with her daughter!? Fools!

I love the glare

You have an elegant class I enjoy observing. You handled the situation perfectly and with firm direction. I also enjoyed the flashback of the birth. I bow to the Queen of Communication. Can't wait for Princess Down. Mother the King

i still have a bunch of Thank you notes to send out

Finally, all caught up! You've brought the funny (I'm still crying with laughter), the sweet, and the touching - oh, and more funny. Good Stuff!

Waiting for more.

Thanks for catching up

Beautiful update!!

Thank you for reading

I'm sorry - I don't have the time to reply as extensively as i'd like today. but HAD to post something to say thank you - for leaving me with some of this and a bunch of this and a whole lotta this

Enjoy your wonderful trip

Such a sweet update (minus the "glare of death" ). I was the opposite mommy from you in the delivery room; my nurse kept saying, "It's okay, you can holler, let it out!" Sorry, I was busy concentrating on all that counting to 10 over and over, I guess. I'll just break your hand with the death grip, thanks just the same!

I'm a mean mom, I guess; dd tried to talk me into BBB this trip but I reminded her that she's been to Libby Lu twice this year already, and it's almost the same. Now I feel even meaner, reading that...geesh, you think I could get an appointment this close? 53 days!

I think you could get an appointment. Try and ask for a friendly FGIT!!!

 

[Wannabe Belle]

I love your PTR!!!!!

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!!!

Waiting for more!!!

 

[the4princesses]

Hi I've enjoyed reading your report!!
you are so funny!!
Are you going to post a picture of your family?
I love to see who is writing.
Please come read our report.
We are going to POP Sept. 3-10th!!

 

[myrsfmly]

The FGIT is lucky she didn't get a bobby pin stuck in her eye after that!!!

My DD has a reservation at the BBB for this trip for the first time ever. Hopefully the mad bobby pin lady will be off that day!