Mrs. The King
Jiggler Owner
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2008
- Messages
- 913
If you are a fan of my last trip report, I am sure there is a creme your doctor can prescribe for you. Until you get that appointment, here is my latest offering.
Our plans were five days and six nights in The World. It has been almost two years since our last proper visit. My parents work seasonally at Disney, so we get the perks provided for friends and family. Because of this we are able to go every year with the kids. This year we set up our visit to correspond with my grandfather's 90th birthday party. We sandwiched visits to my parents home in Florida on either end. So I was packing for four separate events, the traveling, the parent visit, the party, and The World.
Here is an excerpt from my pre trippy:
I guess I should list our cast members again just for hoots and Hollers.
"Me, Mrs. The King. I stole my Hubby's Id early in my Dis career because he had like 88 posts. I am a Mom. I have been a Stay at home mom for over 9 years now. I have done many things to hustle some dolla bills. Like Ebay, daycare, etc. Now both kids are in school and I Substitute teach. I love it. I will warn you now, I find potty humor irresistible. Get out now if you find it unappealing. Run fast. And don't read the TR in my siggy. I am 33, just a few weeks from 34.
Him, Mr. The King. A patient special education teacher that specializes in emotionally disturbed middle schoolers. I could never do his job. It is very tough. His parents are also amazing teachers with the same specialty. I am crazy about his family and can't wait to get them to Disney with us someday. More about Mr. The King. He is smart. Very smart. He hides it well.
Prince Charming (PC) My son just turned 9 years old. He was born a gentleman. I really can't take credit for how wonderful he is. It is in his soul and eyes. He is pure goodness and takes after his father. He holds doors, is polite, bangingly smart, and so appreciative of anything he receives. He will be an amazing man.
Princess Stitch (PS) My girl just turned 6. She is trouble. She takes after me. Poor thing. She is feisty, and funny. She loves music and animals. She walks the tightrope of tomboy and princess like a pro. I love that. I love that she can be in her princess dress holding a frog in each hand. She has potty humor too (like these kids had a choice)
Grandma My mom. She will be on board for our trip. Really she just likes alone time with the kids. She is the source of all my evil powers and weird impulses. She is adorable and looks like everyone's favorite grandma. She has a way of talking to people that puts them at ease and allows her to tell them anything. Lipstick on your teeth? Fly unzipped? Grandma has got your back.
Grandpa He is a saint. He is a hard working, very funny guy. He loves playing with the kids. And they are crazy about him. This year, he should appear more in my trip report, because he will be with us every evening and two days in parks.
I am jonesing for Disney. I can't lie. Our One day sneaky visit was last April. I need my Disney. I like once a year, long leisurely vacation. Almost decadent use of tickets and time. Hot? Let's go to the pool for a few hours.. Tired? Sleep in! This year we a ripe for Disney. Ripe. Ripe was a word Grandma
always used for stinky armpits. That's about where I am now. I am stinky for Disney.
I want my POP. I want my ADRs. I want to break in our Dining plan. What will that be like? I wonder. I am trying to eat more now to stretch my stomach out so I can get the most bang for my buck.
This is my first pre trippie. I will try to include the hand painted outfits, the Tinkerbell presents, ADR plans. I want to try out the Princess and Pirate Party. Mr. The King can be the princess and I will be the Pirate.
Small talk. I just realized I suck at it. So bad. I have two examples for you.
I was watching my daughter's soccer game. (Which is really a blob of kids running in a pack together for 40 minutes too long at this age) And making the dreaded "small talk". The nice lady had described a restaurant and how fancy it is. Super fancy, leave the kids home and get dressed up kind of fancy. I was nodding and tried to make some noise out of my mouth to show I was paying attention. So I said "So it is real Ritsy Titsy?" My brain stalled. I can't believe I just made up a word like Titsy and tried to pass it off in an adult conversation. So of course, this has sent me into a fit of inappropriate giggles which, to my horror, turned into an all out crying laughing, slapping my knees, farting heckle. I could hardly breathe at my own embarrassment. For Pete's sakes. It's bad enough I said it. No need for the spectacle of me dissolving in to hysterics.
Another example.
Gesturing with a tampon while talking to prominent community officials does not make your point more valid. I was digging through my purse getting my keys, when I was stopped by an important official to discuss some community issues. Not a problem, I was on my game this time. I made my case, with lots of elaborate hand gestures, as I always do when I a passionate about an issue. In horror, out of the corner of my eye, I see that I am holding not just my keys, but a tampon as well. My heads up response "Oh Look, I have a tampon, but I am not on my period right now or anything."
More poor son, may have inherited this gift. The other day after eating a Peppermint Patty, he told me "Mom, every time I eat one of these cookies, I feel like I am sweating!"
Chapter pre 1 The Gyno visit
Chapter 1ish Tinkerbell Farts
Chapter 1 1/2 Meet the Jiggler
Chapter 2ish Dead Animal Show
Chapter 3 Body Hair Triage
Chapter 4ish Senior Lap Dances
Poppy at his party picsparty
Chapter 5 ish Goofy and a mallet
Chapter solid 6 Sweet Dreams are made of bacon. Come'ere Piglet!!
Chapter 7 Mrs. the King brings her angry eyes
Chapter 8 Glitter, Jigglers and Jellybags, Oh My!
Chapter 9 A Poop Is A Wish Your Fart Makes
Chapter 10 A Buffet Style Bathroom
Chapter 11 and 10 1/2 The Flaccid Hot Dog
Chapter 12 Carcasses and Dung
Chapter 12 The Jiggler Puckers up
Chapter 13 Above the Crown and Below the Pearls
rincess:
Chapter 14 Bar Brawls and Croc Hunts
Chapter 15 Salt and Chocolate
Chapter 16 The Brown Bag
Chapter 17 Goofy Packs a Punch
Chapter 18 My Sweet Friend
Chapter 19 Nudding Around
Chapter 20 Go Ahead. Report Me. Everyone is doing it. ::cop:
Chapter 21 Time and Space Continuum
Chapter 22 One Girl is Deflated
Chapter 23 Drooling Jiggler
Chapter 24 Super Period
Chapter 25 Bad Parenting 101
Chapter 26 Getting On
Chapter 27 Rubber and Lettuce
Chapter 28 Bubbles and Giggles
Chapter 29 I didn't get arrested...this time.
Christmas Bonus Jonas Chapter
Chapter 30 Kitty Toilets and Options button
Chapter 31 Little Girl Blue House Paint
Chapter 32 Can't make it to was
Chapter 33 Chin Hairs and Dead Hamsters
Chapter 34 Ode to One Ply Toilet Paper and Plunged Fish
Chapter 35 ~A Summary~ Pimples and Farts
Our plans were five days and six nights in The World. It has been almost two years since our last proper visit. My parents work seasonally at Disney, so we get the perks provided for friends and family. Because of this we are able to go every year with the kids. This year we set up our visit to correspond with my grandfather's 90th birthday party. We sandwiched visits to my parents home in Florida on either end. So I was packing for four separate events, the traveling, the parent visit, the party, and The World.
Here is an excerpt from my pre trippy:
I guess I should list our cast members again just for hoots and Hollers.
"Me, Mrs. The King. I stole my Hubby's Id early in my Dis career because he had like 88 posts. I am a Mom. I have been a Stay at home mom for over 9 years now. I have done many things to hustle some dolla bills. Like Ebay, daycare, etc. Now both kids are in school and I Substitute teach. I love it. I will warn you now, I find potty humor irresistible. Get out now if you find it unappealing. Run fast. And don't read the TR in my siggy. I am 33, just a few weeks from 34.
Him, Mr. The King. A patient special education teacher that specializes in emotionally disturbed middle schoolers. I could never do his job. It is very tough. His parents are also amazing teachers with the same specialty. I am crazy about his family and can't wait to get them to Disney with us someday. More about Mr. The King. He is smart. Very smart. He hides it well.
Prince Charming (PC) My son just turned 9 years old. He was born a gentleman. I really can't take credit for how wonderful he is. It is in his soul and eyes. He is pure goodness and takes after his father. He holds doors, is polite, bangingly smart, and so appreciative of anything he receives. He will be an amazing man.
Princess Stitch (PS) My girl just turned 6. She is trouble. She takes after me. Poor thing. She is feisty, and funny. She loves music and animals. She walks the tightrope of tomboy and princess like a pro. I love that. I love that she can be in her princess dress holding a frog in each hand. She has potty humor too (like these kids had a choice)
Grandma My mom. She will be on board for our trip. Really she just likes alone time with the kids. She is the source of all my evil powers and weird impulses. She is adorable and looks like everyone's favorite grandma. She has a way of talking to people that puts them at ease and allows her to tell them anything. Lipstick on your teeth? Fly unzipped? Grandma has got your back.
Grandpa He is a saint. He is a hard working, very funny guy. He loves playing with the kids. And they are crazy about him. This year, he should appear more in my trip report, because he will be with us every evening and two days in parks.
I am jonesing for Disney. I can't lie. Our One day sneaky visit was last April. I need my Disney. I like once a year, long leisurely vacation. Almost decadent use of tickets and time. Hot? Let's go to the pool for a few hours.. Tired? Sleep in! This year we a ripe for Disney. Ripe. Ripe was a word Grandma
always used for stinky armpits. That's about where I am now. I am stinky for Disney.I want my POP. I want my ADRs. I want to break in our Dining plan. What will that be like? I wonder. I am trying to eat more now to stretch my stomach out so I can get the most bang for my buck.
This is my first pre trippie. I will try to include the hand painted outfits, the Tinkerbell presents, ADR plans. I want to try out the Princess and Pirate Party. Mr. The King can be the princess and I will be the Pirate.
Small talk. I just realized I suck at it. So bad. I have two examples for you.
I was watching my daughter's soccer game. (Which is really a blob of kids running in a pack together for 40 minutes too long at this age) And making the dreaded "small talk". The nice lady had described a restaurant and how fancy it is. Super fancy, leave the kids home and get dressed up kind of fancy. I was nodding and tried to make some noise out of my mouth to show I was paying attention. So I said "So it is real Ritsy Titsy?" My brain stalled. I can't believe I just made up a word like Titsy and tried to pass it off in an adult conversation. So of course, this has sent me into a fit of inappropriate giggles which, to my horror, turned into an all out crying laughing, slapping my knees, farting heckle. I could hardly breathe at my own embarrassment. For Pete's sakes. It's bad enough I said it. No need for the spectacle of me dissolving in to hysterics.
Another example.
Gesturing with a tampon while talking to prominent community officials does not make your point more valid. I was digging through my purse getting my keys, when I was stopped by an important official to discuss some community issues. Not a problem, I was on my game this time. I made my case, with lots of elaborate hand gestures, as I always do when I a passionate about an issue. In horror, out of the corner of my eye, I see that I am holding not just my keys, but a tampon as well. My heads up response "Oh Look, I have a tampon, but I am not on my period right now or anything."
More poor son, may have inherited this gift. The other day after eating a Peppermint Patty, he told me "Mom, every time I eat one of these cookies, I feel like I am sweating!"
Chapter pre 1 The Gyno visit
Chapter 1ish Tinkerbell Farts
Chapter 1 1/2 Meet the Jiggler
Chapter 2ish Dead Animal Show
Chapter 3 Body Hair Triage
Chapter 4ish Senior Lap Dances
Poppy at his party picsparty
Chapter 5 ish Goofy and a mallet
Chapter solid 6 Sweet Dreams are made of bacon. Come'ere Piglet!!
Chapter 7 Mrs. the King brings her angry eyes
Chapter 8 Glitter, Jigglers and Jellybags, Oh My!
Chapter 9 A Poop Is A Wish Your Fart Makes
Chapter 10 A Buffet Style Bathroom
Chapter 11 and 10 1/2 The Flaccid Hot Dog
Chapter 12 Carcasses and Dung
Chapter 12 The Jiggler Puckers up
Chapter 13 Above the Crown and Below the Pearls
rincess:Chapter 14 Bar Brawls and Croc Hunts
Chapter 15 Salt and Chocolate
Chapter 16 The Brown Bag
Chapter 17 Goofy Packs a Punch
Chapter 18 My Sweet Friend
Chapter 19 Nudding Around
Chapter 20 Go Ahead. Report Me. Everyone is doing it. ::cop:
Chapter 21 Time and Space Continuum
Chapter 22 One Girl is Deflated
Chapter 23 Drooling Jiggler
Chapter 24 Super Period
Chapter 25 Bad Parenting 101
Chapter 26 Getting On
Chapter 27 Rubber and Lettuce
Chapter 28 Bubbles and Giggles
Chapter 29 I didn't get arrested...this time.
Christmas Bonus Jonas Chapter
Chapter 30 Kitty Toilets and Options button
Chapter 31 Little Girl Blue House Paint
Chapter 32 Can't make it to was
Chapter 33 Chin Hairs and Dead Hamsters
Chapter 34 Ode to One Ply Toilet Paper and Plunged Fish
Chapter 35 ~A Summary~ Pimples and Farts
This one should be good. A lot went wrong and so much went Disney magic right!
We were blasting off at 3:30am. The kids and I were still bouncing off the walls at 2:30am. Eventually we fell sound asleep, and Mr. The King woke us up one hour later. And we were off.
I have thunk the very same thing, many, many times again.
I love your sense of humor!!
