Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[lazydoxy66]

I just found your TR. Sorry, I'm late yet again.

The jiggler and festiva stories are priceless. You really should write a book. And the hair thing - I don't have a big problem like that but my BFF is always complaining about her neanderthal toes!

 

[whogirl'smom]

about the body hair triage!! I wish I were brave enough for a body wax before our trips! By Oct. it's mainly capri weather here, so just when you've gotten lazy with the razor, - - Disney trip time has arrived! I REALLY want to go in the winter one year; no humidity for poufy hair, furry legs well covered....

 

[PrincessV]

“Big Whirlpool”

Oooo, I remember this one form my friend Sandy's pool down the street! She had a BIG brother (seriosuly, the 16 year old kid was like 6'5"!) and man could he make a monstrous whirlpool!

* Minor priority #3 the area feels rough
* Delayed priority #2 the area would have looked great in the sixties
* Immediate priority #3 People will mistake this area for a spider and start slapping it with magazines.
* Black tag (no number) all numbers are present, only go swimming at night, alone.

Not only do I understand this system, I LIVE by this system! I'll add to this that it grows 1000 times faster down here.

Right?!

And it's too freaking HOT in summer to wear pants.

Please allow me to instroduce you to my summer BFF:



From May - Oct., we're joined at the hip. And thigh. And knee.
And.
Armpit.

Okay, not that last one.

We would drive into Disney, go through the check in process, and then head to Poppy’s house.

Seriously?

Anybody else see something wrong with this plan?

Ummm, yep.

First we are arriving for our visit at 12:30 which he is expecting. Trickling in at that time as a pre-surprise “surprise” are his three daughters and their families, and his wife’s family. Just a smorgasbord of unexpected people. Then at 4:30pm, we head up to the clubhouse where a party of about 70 of his closest and oldest friends would be treated to dinner, music and fun.

This sounds like a FANTASTIC surprise, though!

 

[lorispeck]

OK. I have to ask. What in the world is a Focker? Gotta know. Can't stand it any more!

 

[snowbell]

Your trip report is a riot. I am enjoying reading it. I still have one more page to catch up on.

 

[jcc0621]

OK. I have to ask. What in the world is a Focker? Gotta know. Can't stand it any more!

If you dare....go here

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1907241

 

[puggymom]

LOL at the triage

What a wonderful thing for Poppy to have his family

 

[lazydoxy66]

OK. I have to ask. What in the world is a Focker? Gotta know. Can't stand it any more!

Welcome to the DIS and all the crazyness. Don't hold back but do keep your hands and feet in the car at all times! Especially around us Fockers!!

 

[tammyd_rn]

As you can tell I am new to the DIS Boards but I am so glad I came across your thread. I am loving your style and humor.

Thanks for sharing with us.

 

[Mrs. The King]

After finishing up our drive, I look at my hair. I had spent much time curling it with hot rollers. By the time I had arrived, it was flat. Not just flat, but greasy looking. The hair products that usually help me keep my curls bouncing around all day, were rendered useless by our friend Walk Florida sun. I pull the kids out of the car, each look adorable in their shirts. We keep running into various relatives. My Aunt screams and hugs me forever, scoops up the kids. PS lets my aunt carry her. Finally making it into the house, I search for my Grandfather. The kids run to him and climb in his lap. His laughter fills the room. We all hug.

My grandfather. It is so funny to me that the rest of the world doesn’t know who he is. He is such a rock star. He was 6’5” in a time when that made him very unusual. His personality is the only thing bigger than him. I have always been crazy about him. But now, as a grown up, I realized what a riot he is. I am actually going to share my Birthday present to him with you because, that describes him well.
I could not figure out what to get him. My friend suggested coming up with "things I love about Poppy” and writing them down.
I loved the idea but was running out of time. I suck at scrap booking, writing on paper seemed…rushed. Mr. The King came to my rescue whipping together a power point. I picked my favorite things about him and than described the lesson each thing taught me. Mr. The King put the power point on a DVD and than we showed it to my Poppy on his big screen TV.
Life’s Lessons
The lasting impressions I have from Poppy.
John Fiscus Allouiscious M*****
The Lesson: Remember, never take yourself too seriously

He’s always dressed to the nines in white suites and tuxedos
The Lesson: Dress to Impress

Being the captain of his own boat
The Lesson: Find a great hobby

Working for the telephone company
The Lesson: Work Hard…Then have a good retirement

He always seems to know what is happening before you tell him.
The Lesson: Listen to your instincts and trust them…You’re probably right

Blowing the custom built “CHARGE” horn on his car when he came to our house.
The Lesson: Let them know the party is here once you have arrived!!

He always cherishes his cars and takes good care of them.
The Lesson: We spend a lot of time in our cars, Love your vehicles they are fun!

Poppy says…”If you’re not bored your punched”
I don’t really know what this means so I guess the lesson is… don’t be afraid to say something even if it only makes sense to you.

Poppy says… “It was raining like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock"
The Lesson: Don’t stand next to a cow that’s had too much to drink!


Poppy says…
“If your not havin’ a good time it’s your own damn fault”
The lesson: Never forget you are in charge of your own destiny

He served as a sergeant in the Army
The Lesson: Respect your country and those who fight for her.

Remembering his wonderful brother Tommy who died in WW2
The Lesson: Never forget those who made such a selfless sacrifice to ensure our freedom.

HIs sweet friendship with Aaron and Bea (Mr. The King’s Grandparents)
The Lesson: You can make dear friends at any age

He goes on cruises and makes friends with all of the passengers and crew.
The Lesson: Vacations don’t happen every day, take the time to enjoy them!

He always takes pictures of the waiters and workers at the places he visits.
The Lesson: Don’t forget all of the people that take care of you. All jobs are important.

Everyone calls him “Big John”
The Lesson: Make everything about yourself an asset.

He has to have a comfortable bed
The Lesson: Sleeping well is important

He drives too fast
The Lesson: Take some risks, life’s no fun without them.

Dancing with him at the World Trade Center
I knew that was the dance of a lifetime and I hold it in my heart as one of my most favorite moments.

The parades at every visit. Music full blast, flag at the front, all of us marching, “ATTENTION, FORWARD MARCH”
The Lesson: Make things special for kids, they love a parade

Always giving a firm handshake with a good greeting
The Lesson: Don’t give a floppy fish handshake, even if you are a girl.

Marrying His wife, Barbara
The Lesson: Cherish true love, and recognize when an angel is standing right in front of you.

Raising three, beautiful, intelligent daughters all on his own.
The Lesson: No matter what cards life hands you, take care of the kids, do your best.

He always toasts “Who’s better than us?”
The lesson: Always have an answer ready for this one… but also know, no one is better than us!!

Poppy always makes everyone feel smarter and prettier than they think they are
The Lesson: You are who you are, might as well like it!!

Turn up the Bose Radio
The Lesson: The music sounds better when it’s loud

Moving on after a hurricane took his house apart
The Lesson: Unimaginable things happen in life, you have to keep going.

He sings out loud in the morning
The Lesson: Set a great mood for every day.

Listening to the great grandchildren yodel and talk about cars
The Lesson: Listen when the kids are talking, it makes wonderful memories for you and them.

He always makes everyone in the room laugh (even the shy people)
The Lesson : Don’t leave anyone out.

He always smells good.
The Lesson: Smell Good! Those around you will appreciate it

The Greatest Lesson….Make a huge impression on your granddaughter, so that when she thinks of you she smiles
I am so proud to be your granddaughter. I love you very much.


I am going to ask Mr. The King to throw some pictures up for me. This gift was lots of fun, and we all laughed. Before we watched this, my cousin and Aunt had put a blockbuster slide show of amazing vintage pictures of my grandpa set to his favorite songs. One of the best things about my grandfather is he is still with us, sharp as a tack. He was so present for all the fun and touching moments.

After chit chatting and snacking we all jumped into our vehicles for some subterfuge. We told Poppy we going out for dinner.
His wife drove him to their clubhouse. We all stood up with his friends and family. Just about everyone he loved was there. About 70 people he had no idea he was going to see.
His wife pulls open the door… “Surprise!!!!”
I really thought he knew what we had up our sleeves. But he had no idea.

So what does a 90 year old man do when you give him a large shock?

Well my favorite 90 year old zooms in on his scooter one hand held high and does doughnuts like a Nascar racer


Then Poppy grabbed my Aunt and said “Where’s a microphone?!”
The next thing we know Poppy is giving an impromptu speech. I wish I could remember it word for word, but I can’t. I do remember him cursing a bit, and saying “I am going to kiss every woman here on the mouth” . It was awesome.

What a guy. You couldn’t tell from his voice that his eyes were glistening with tears while he spoke.


The decorations were perfect! Red, White and Blue for the most patriotic man I know. There was a board set up with some of my Grandfather’s favorite sayings. Maybe my mother can post those for me. They were great and I think she was in charge of that.

We had a singer/d.j. who did a fabulous job with the music. The food was so tasty. What a crowd. This was the best group of people for a party. They had a big screen and replayed the slideshow and the power point. PC had delivered a beautiful speech about how Great Poppy was his hero for fighting in WWII and gives him the courage to tell better jokes.

PS decided she wanted to sing to Poppy as a present. I really expected the nerves to kick in when she saw the large crowd, stage and microphone. She got lifted onto the stage and started to sing her favorite Hannah Montana song a cappella, but she faltered after a few words and grew quiet. An awkward silence filled the room.

I thought, “should I grab her quick, so she doesn’t get embarrassed”

Then I heard my grandfathers’ voice booming across the large expanse of the room
“I am coming Sweetheart, Hold on!!”

He zoomed the scooter super fast to the foot of the stage. I watched through blurry, teary eyes as she took a deep breath, locked eyes with Poppy and started singing in a clear, beautiful voice. He knew just what she needed.

I loved that moment.

And then there was the parade! We all stripped the centerpieces of their flags, grabbed balloons, the DJ cranked the parade march. The parade line was so long the front touched the back.

The next part has now become family lure.. My poor Uncle, was delivering a speech. I wouldn’t want to compete with the two cute kids, but he was ready to give it a whirl.

Speech writing/delivery isn’t his strong suit, but he really likes to give them. This is a great crowd, game for anything. My uncle starts his speech by letting the crowd know he, my dad, and other uncle paid for the party.
Which is, how can I say this?
Not touching.
Then, bless him, he launches into a description of his own medical problems.

And then breaks down crying.

Loudly.

Into the microphone.

For a while.

Where do you look during a display like this? Is it appropriate to take a sip of soda when it occurs to you that the speaker is going to cry for a really long time? I mean, getting up to fetch more food from the buffet was obviously poor manners, but could I continue eating?
Does a grown man crying about himself into a microphone warrant the respect of say, a preacher?
The crying continued on.
I tried to cut into my delicious looking ham slice.
Without moving my arms.
Then, I pretended to sneeze, using the motion to fling the fork with the ham towards my mouth.
I chewed using little tiny chomps.
The crying started to let up after a painful, cracking “I’m sorry”.
We forgave him instantly.

But that won’t stop us from saying we are pulling an “Uncle Bob” when we feel like busting out in some inappropriate tears.

After we mopped up the crying uncle, we got back to the fun.
The crowd went wild for “We are family” and “Old Tomb Rock and Roll”
Poppy scootered out to the dance floor. He whirled around and danced with all the ladies.

But, as is known to happen with septuagenarians, one of the ladies got rowdy. She had to top the rest of the woman by simulating a lap dance. Which became a scooter Dance. After someone helped her get her leg over the scooter.
No wonder why they say retirement parks are no place for children!

My grandfather’s wife rushed to the scooter and said in a loud voice to her husband “John, now you owe her 20 bucks”

Then we had the mandatory kick line. During New York, New York all the ladies do a pathetic kick line. I was proud to lead my daughter out with me, joining my mother . Three generations of woman with no rhythm, trying not to fall over, while pulling a hamstring.

And all too soon it was over. We were hugging all these fabulous people again and again. The memories were made. My grandfather celebrated. It is so very hard to say goodbye to him. What a guy. What a rock star.
We shuffled our tired kids into the van. Next stop. Disney World. And this time kids, we are staying!!!!!!!





And a P.S. for Mr. The King~ 11 years today you said "I do" and you are still here. I can only truly breathe when you are next to me.


Poppy at his party pics

 

[nateryan]

That was such a great and touching story about your grandfather's party! Wow, I had tears in my eyes. Then you mentioned Uncle Bob...how awkward!
I love your gift idea - how special!

 

[MAJ RN]

I am so excited to see that you are doing another trip report!!! Your last one was so entertaining, I laughed my butt off. I do have to admit I teared up while reading about your Poppy, he sounds like an amazing man. Can't wait to see what is in store for the King's next.


Melissa

 

[Mrs. The King]

I'm here! Sorry I'm late - I had to get a cockroach butt-bite attended to. Oops, I mean a PALMETTO bug butt-bite! The PBs and the gecko/cicaks/lizards whatever-you-call-them are planning a palace coup in my yard and I've been busy laying in provisions to wait out the seige. Your TR will keep my eyes averted from the little suckers crawling up the outside of my pool screen...I THINK they're outside!

Quick, I can still see them - write more!

Queen Colleen

I think those things are little mutant godzillas!

you are too funny!!! luv the body hair triage!!!

Thanks rachel! I will be happy to send you toe tags if you need them!

I don't even bother with the facade of bringing a razor anymore...

You are a very smart lady.

I agree, but then I have to remember to actually shave right before we leave home, so it will last all week....

Slow hair grower is showing off right there!

OH honey. I would rather walk out wearing spandex than not shave. I would prefer to be totally hairless...well, except for my eyebrows and head hair...

I wish I could use the excess to fluff out my head hair!

I really was thinking this very same thing...


btw, lots of mommas have extra hair.

just do.

Hair just means there is more of us to love, or something like that!

I thought your name Mrs. The King sounded familiar but I wasn't sure. As I read and you mentioned the jiggler it all came flooding back. This is the only Trip Report that makes me laugh out loud: , my kids think I'm crazy (not that crazy is a bad thing )

I am so glad you came back. You must have a strong stomach

How in the heck did I miss that you started your tr? In the words of my mother............"do you need a special invitation?" I guess the answer is yes, I do!

What is the etiquette for trip report 2? I am really under the impression that those that survived the first would steer clear of this monstrosity

I just found your TR. Sorry, I'm late yet again.

The jiggler and festiva stories are priceless. You really should write a book. And the hair thing - I don't have a big problem like that but my BFF is always complaining about her neanderthal toes!

My armpits and your toes would get along like gangbusters or mythbusters or some sorta buster.

about the body hair triage!! I wish I were brave enough for a body wax before our trips! By Oct. it's mainly capri weather here, so just when you've gotten lazy with the razor, - - Disney trip time has arrived! I REALLY want to go in the winter one year; no humidity for poufy hair, furry legs well covered....

Take me with you!! Spank Mickey for me!!!

Oooo, I remember this one form my friend Sandy's pool down the street! She had a BIG brother (seriosuly, the 16 year old kid was like 6'5"!) and man could he make a monstrous whirlpool!


Not only do I understand this system, I LIVE by this system! I'll add to this that it grows 1000 times faster down here.

Right?!

And it's too freaking HOT in summer to wear pants.

Please allow me to instroduce you to my summer BFF:



From May - Oct., we're joined at the hip. And thigh. And knee.
And.
Armpit.

Okay, not that last one.


Seriously?


Ummm, yep.


This sounds like a FANTASTIC surprise, though!

I think I am going to use that lotion a lot!!! On my dogs!!!

OK. I have to ask. What in the world is a Focker? Gotta know. Can't stand it any more!

they are amazing ladies that let you join in on fun! Nice, caring and no pressure. I recommend the fockers!

Your trip report is a riot. I am enjoying reading it. I still have one more page to catch up on.

get to cracking!!!

LOL at the triage

What a wonderful thing for Poppy to have his family

He really deserves this and more. He totally rocks.

As you can tell I am new to the DIS Boards but I am so glad I came across your thread. I am loving your style and humor.

Thanks for sharing with us.

Thank you so much for posting. have a wonderful time here on the dis. Best Disey site ever!!

That was such a great and touching story about your grandfather's party! Wow, I had tears in my eyes. Then you mentioned Uncle Bob...how awkward!
I love your gift idea - how special!

Poor Uncle Bob. The present went over really well. I suggest it for anyone that has "everything"

 

[Mrs. The King]

I am so excited to see that you are doing another trip report!!! Your last one was so entertaining, I laughed my butt off. I do have to admit I teared up while reading about your Poppy, he sounds like an amazing man. Can't wait to see what is in store for the King's next.


Melissa

thank you for being a repeat offender!!!

 

[jcc0621]

Loved this update. Your grandfather sounds like an amazing man...your uncle

Can;t wait to hear more

 

[team weasel]

I like you - I do. But right now I am crying. May I have my Uncle Bob moment in peace, please? Thank you.

I recognize the love you have for your Grandfather. I have it for mine. He's been gone almost a year now, but not a day goes by that I don't think of him and love him just the same. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story.

 

[Blessed99]

I am happy to hear your Poppys party went so well! I love the surprise parties! Can't wait to hear more about your trip! I am really enjoying reading along.

 

[Lifelong_Dreamer]

Your grandfather sounds great! How nice that he has so much energy and love for fun in him at that age.

 

[puggymom]

What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. He sounds truly fantastic. It sounds like your grandparents really live life to the fullest

Thank you for sharing this!

 

[Goofyluver]

Awwww. Mrs. The King. And here I thought you were just funny. But, you're not...funny...only. No sirreebob. You're sweet, and articulate, and a beautiful writer. Your children are so lucky to have experienced such a wonderful family gathering...with a wonderful mommy...and a wonderful poppy.

The lap dance...how can I respond to the lap dance...

And...Happy Anniversary honey. May you and Mr. The King have lots of lap dances...just the two of you.