Sweet Mother of Fudge! 2/15 A Goodbye Summary~Pimples and Farts

[askelton]

Commercials are such torture.

Those poor people who still watch live tv.

The CatGenie.

Yea, my cats would totally go for this!

 

[Mrs. The King]

NO! You keep on stretching it out. Heck, make up a fictional trip report Please tell us you have another trip in the works because if not, we're all going to have terrible withdrawals

Aww. You are awesome. We *should* be going down again this summer.

I have the same hatred for the Snuggie! All I can think when I see that commercial is.............for crying out loud, put on a freakin robe!!!!

I refuse to believe that your tr is coming to an end!!!!

Snuggie hater unite!!! I wonder how much trouble I would get in if I just did one sentence of trip report per chapter

Well, you asked for it so I'll share!

I'm a cashier at a grocery store and a mom and her 2 year old daughter were buying groceries and a Winnie the Pooh cookie. Well, the little girl didn't call it a "Winnie the Pooh" cookie, she called it a "Pooh" cookie.

Obivious thought...

For the next few minutes, the child whines:
"Mommmmyyyy, open my Pooh cookieeeeee."

(I'm trying not to laugh as it is...) Until finally, in a fit of frustration, the mother shouts:

ALL RIGHT, I'LL OPEN YOUR POOH COOKIE!!!

The whole store turned around to look, she left absolutely embarassed, and after she left, everybody at my register and I cracked up until we couldn't breathe.

Hope you have a good laugh!

I am so glad I twisted your arm!!

We love to make fun of the Snuggie commercial! Our personal favorite is of the family roasting marshmallows in them, looking like a bunch of futuristic monks! Do you know what a fire hazard that would be?

Nooo, not almost the end!!! I started reading your blog and it was very good. I haven't read any of the Twilight books, so I'm not sure of the story line, but the writing's great!

I just don't know what to do with that razor, afraid to actually use it, feel bad to throw it away. Maybe I could save it for a razor swap on the budget board, since it never wears out.....

Futuristic Fire Monks!!

Thank you for reading my baby steps into writing. But we need to remedy that whole Twilight thing!! The first book is in the little paperback now! My MIL is a big reader but she doesn't like vampire books. She is the only one I could actually force to read them. She kept calling me saying "OMG, Bella's doing this" or "Edward just said that." It is truly lots of fun. If you decide to get Twilight, you have to let me know!!


The lifetime razor is so classic. It needs it's own showcase in your home with a spotlight on it.

Thank you for the warning about the cat genie. And particularly for the tip about reading the review - a POV and manner of expression similar to Mrs. The King's, I think. I had an automatic cat box which scooped, and I really liked it as long as the poop container was dumped regularly. When I was at home, that was not a problem, but whenever I went on a trip for more than a few days, it tended to overflow. Apparently my husband and children were unable to notice when it piled up to that extent, and must have developed severe head colds with a smelling deficiency at the same time. This is attested to by the fact that the same gadget at my now grown-up daughter's home spends more time popped up and overflowing than functioning normally. It must be a genetic thing passed down from her father. I certainly wouldn't want a device that added water to this mess!

Ok. I love this story on so many levels. Overflowing cat poop the genetic thing, head colds. That was just flat out awesome.

Those poor people who still watch live tv.

Yea, my cats would totally go for this!

I saw a you tube of the cat attacking the "spoon".

 

[whogirl'smom]

The lifetime razor is so classic. It needs it's own showcase in your home with a spotlight on it.

Please stop...you're making me chortle during the ballgame.

 

[TarzansKat]

I only laugh so hard because I have seen commercials for that blanket and thought, "Seriously? Seriously?"

But you know, someone thought that was a really, really good idea.

Must...

not...



Anyway, lovely chapter! As always, reading about the Kings makes my day a little happier.

(Love that you made Twilight Miis. I so plan on doing this in the near future.)

 

[lazydoxy66]

I've been on vacation for the holidays. I am so sorry about Poppy. I'm glad I got to know him through you.

To Poppy!

I had to catch up on a lot of poop! The law, poop at the bank, poop scoop machines, a fudgeless jiggler - I can't believe it! I'm ready to see the poop coming up next with the CM.

BTW, I thought those blanket/robes reminded me of what the monks used to wear. Just more convenient with the split up the back.

I'm tired of the ShamWOW! 'We can't do this all day folks, blah, blah, blah'. I'm pretty sure this same guy has been in this same commercial for 2 years. What's the rush? They must have a warehouse full somewhere.

Now on with the show.

 

[walkerag]

BTW, I thought those blanket/robes reminded me of what the monks used to wear. Just more convenient with the split up the back.

So, it's like a hospital gown for monks!

 

[Mrs. The King]

I only laugh so hard because I have seen commercials for that blanket and thought, "Seriously? Seriously?"

But you know, someone thought that was a really, really good idea.

Must...

not...



Anyway, lovely chapter! As always, reading about the Kings makes my day a little happier.

(Love that you made Twilight Miis. I so plan on doing this in the near future.)

Thank you so much for reading it! We are having a Mii explosion up in this joint. PS loves making them. I think we have her whole classroom One little girl got glasses over the break, first thing PS did was update her Mii to reflect glasses.

I've been on vacation for the holidays. I am so sorry about Poppy. I'm glad I got to know him through you.

To Poppy!

I had to catch up on a lot of poop! The law, poop at the bank, poop scoop machines, a fudgeless jiggler - I can't believe it! I'm ready to see the poop coming up next with the CM.

BTW, I thought those blanket/robes reminded me of what the monks used to wear. Just more convenient with the split up the back.

I'm tired of the ShamWOW! 'We can't do this all day folks, blah, blah, blah'. I'm pretty sure this same guy has been in this same commercial for 2 years. What's the rush? They must have a warehouse full somewhere.

Now on with the show.

Ok, you totaly nailed the essence of my writing. Poop

All I am saying about ShamWow is if it was such a miracle, it would be in Maxi pads by now. MenstruateWow.

Thanks for the toast to Poppy.

So, it's like a hospital gown for monks!

OMG!!! holy Cow. I peed. That is so awesome walker

 

[Mrs. The King]

First let me say my condolences on your loss. Poppy sounded like a wonderful person.


Second awesome 2nd chapter!! Do you think you can PM me when you post new chapters in you blog? But maybe wait till I get back from the "happy place"? LOL I will need a pick me up when we get back.

Chapter 3 is up

 

[TarzansKat]

Thank you so much for reading it! We are having a Mii explosion up in this joint. PS loves making them. I think we have her whole classroom One little girl got glasses over the break, first thing PS did was update her Mii to reflect glasses.

Oh, that's just too cute!

We have the family as Miis, and then some of our friends who have hooked up with our Wii system roaming around in the background, which I find to be hilarious.

 

[Mrs. The King]

Oh, that's just too cute!

We have the family as Miis, and then some of our friends who have hooked up with our Wii system roaming around in the background, which I find to be hilarious.

It cracks me up too. The kids recognize Edward and Bella I am loving this wii. It is too stinking cute.

 

[TarzansKat]

It cracks me up too. the kids recognize Edward and Bella I am loving this wii. It is too stinking cute.

Further proof that you and I are of the ilk of those easily amused by simple things.

I sooooo need to make Edward and Bella Miis. And Jacob too. My DH will say, what are those? And I'll just laugh.

 

[PrincessOliviasMom]

Just wanted to give you a shout out.

I have been MIA on the boards for a while so I just found your TR and read the ENTIRE THING!

I've never laughed and cried so much in my life! Your sense of humor and love for life rocks. So very sorry to hear about your Poppy! Peace to you and your family!

Thanks for the giggles ... and the tears!

 

[reelmom]

Thank you so much for reading it! We are having a Mii explosion up in this joint. PS loves making them. I think we have her whole classroom One little girl got glasses over the break, first thing PS did was update her Mii to reflect glasses.




Ok, you totaly nailed the essence of my writing. Poop

All I am saying about ShamWow is if it was such a miracle, it would be in Maxi pads by now. MenstruateWow.

Thanks for the toast to Poppy.



OMG!!! holy Cow. I peed. That is so awesome walker

A shamWow maxi

 

[winkers]

A shamWow maxi

 

[lazydoxy66]

All I am saying about ShamWow is if it was such a miracle, it would be in Maxi pads by now. MenstruateWow.

-MTK

 

[andrews1ma]

OMG! This has to be the funniest trip report I have ever read- I say THank you somewhat sarcastically because I found it last night while sitting on the couch-bored of the football games that were on....at about 10pm. Well I read it from start to end- which was about 3:00am- I seriously brought the laptop up to bed to finish it and woke my DH up because trying so hard to silence the laughter actually made the bed bounce and vibrate! The poor thing probably thought it was earthquake because he woke up that puzzled "what is going on" look.

I can relate on sooo many levels- I love the potty humor- I forwarded on your report to my best friend and soul mate ( who ironically and sadly lost her dad to ALS- and I lost my Grandfather to it as well- got to that part at about 1:30 am so I was happy to read on again as humor always helps!) Anyhow my best friend and I have gone to disney - and many many other road trips to all kinds of fun places with our kids ( befored I left her in NY to move to NC :-( )- I have a 9 year old boy- and she has an 8 yr ld boy and 10 yr old girl and we always said that we needed to write down our stories from our adventres because they always ened with us running home to share with grandparents and trying to tell them without peeing our pants with laughter- Oh and I am 35 as well but act not a day older than 16!

SO now I say thank you on a serious note ( no sarcasm here) because you have inspired me....maybe I will now write down all the crazy funny stories for my son to read when he gets older-because these are things that he may not remember...and you reminded me again of how precious life is and to make every day count! I woke up this morning and gave my son a longer than usual hug and realized that the simple action of being able to wrap your arms around your loved ones should never be taken for granted.

I look forward to the final chapter and will actually go back now and read your old trip report- I love Sundays! Although I will have to take a break at 1:00pm to watch my NY Giants hopefully whip some Philly jigglers!

Donna in NC

 

[askelton]

FYI, I got an email that Snuggies are BOGO. I'd be happy to forward it to you. Also DH bought a large Shamwow to use as his towel while he was gone for a month with the Army last summer. He loves it!

 

[Mrs. The King]

Chapter 31

So my parents were visiting during Christmas. Mr. The King took a visit up to New York to see his brother. Grandma and Grandpa agreed to stay with me until Mr. The King had returned. I am not a huge fan of staying alone in the house. I have done it, I will do it again, but I love not having to do it.

Having Grandma and Grandpa in your home is like trapping a set of tornadoes indoors. Except they leave things better then when they got there.
Or it could be that my whining still works on my father. Which means whining is powerful stuff ladies! Keep it up!
Since I have been married to Mr. The King we have lived in one apartment and three houses. We have been married since 1997. Now, that makes us pretty frequent movers. Each home has had white walls. By the time we got around to painting them, we were moving.
So about 6 months ago my whining had reached epic proportions. I was complaining to anything that would hold still.
So my father got cans of paint, dug out a ladder and a roller brush. Two days later, My kitchen, living room, bathroom and hallway (including ceilings) were glistening with fresh paint.

My father paints with no tape, no drop cloth, no special tricks. I have three dogs, two kids and he had to deal with me and my doppelganger Mother He is part Super hero.

And I love it! I have stopped the whining. Mr. The King returned home like he had been hit by an HGTV network show in his absence. He loved the walls too.
The maple colored walls really bring out the quirky stuff I fell in love with when we bought this house. It was built in 1952, I have a weird layout, and big ceramic sink I could give a cow a bath in. Since he has been back, Mr. The King painted my two deep red accent walls. So a huge thanks to my Dad and a little thanks to Mr. the King for the accent walls.

But not all surprise projects dealing with the King family have a happy ending. Mostly, I am talking about my mother . She raised my sister and I in the time before the internet. So she had nothing to keep her out of trouble. Vehicles were a big part of my family’s make up. My father always drove the beater vehicle to work, and my mother had the “good” car for her and the kids.

Now, my father prided himself on buying the cheapest vehicle he could find, the tail end of talking about it always included “but it runs great”. The offending car could have a 2 by 4 as a bumper, a hole in the floorboard, doors that didn’t actually close. But it ran great. (All afflictions actually existed!)
One such vehicle was a pick up truck. I do believe it was white. For my father’s work car, it was pretty decent. One day, home with mom, Dad had taken the good car to work. So the ugly truck was parked in front of the house. My sister and I were playing Little House in the Prairie on the front lawn (Mom had even sewed us our own bonnets). I remember thinking “Wow. What’s Mom doing with the paint from my sister’s room?” She set the pretty light blue color next to the ugly truck. Out of her pocket came her implement of evil. The paintbrush. My sister and I shrugged and continued in to town (the crab apple tree).

My mother looked at that ugly truck with one finger in her mouth. In our family, this is known as “the thinking finger”. Just like lightning before thunder, the finger came out before my mother had her way with a poor, defenseless, inanimate object.
She dipped the brush in the can and started to apply a fresh coat to the truck that could not run away.
The light blue did not make the truck any prettier. It did make my mom guiltier.
As it dried in the sun, it came to look like exactly what it was. A truck painted (hurriedly) with interior house paint from a little girl’s room (brushstrokes and all).

Poor Dad. I remember my sister and I waiting with baited breath to see what Dad would do. Mom was with us when Dad had his HGTV from hell moment.
He was surprised. He shook his head. But eventually, there was laughter. There was teasing.
And maybe that’s why they are still married for over 37 years.
You can’t get that paint off, by the way. So Dad had his little girl blue truck for a while. It ran great. It was even able to support the entire extended family from my Communion party. Gee whiz. There must have been a good twenty people in the bed of the truck. Dad was driving. My beloved mentally challenged Uncle Stanley was riding shotgun. Someone (probably my Poppy, knowing him) grabbed the American Flag from the house.
Dad proceeded to drive us all around the ritsy titsy neighborhood, up and down the giant hill/mountain we lived on. Flag was flying, all my relatives hooting and hollering in the bed of the truck.

I bet that I might be the only little girl that celebrated my Communion with a truck full of crazy.
Looking back now, as a full grown person I can’t help but be so proud of my parents. What a great example of how to live a day.
Well back to Disney.
We walk into a drippy Epcot. We had our fast passes to Soarin’. Our last planned ride for our Disney trip.
As we approached the Soarin’ entrance, we encountered a mob of people. You know the mob I am talking about. A group of usually young, very good-looking people following an adult with a flag. Maybe they were friends with the group that tried to join me in Casey’s on the hot dog stand.
I was watching the kids. And the crowd. I really dislike large group disruptions with the kids around. And for the most part, at Disney, you are faced with orderly crowds.
This group was trying to bum rush the Fast Pass chick. They had tickets that were allowing them to enter at a later time. There was a language barrier, and the crowd of people were getting rowdier. Another group began to form. Fast Pass holders that had the correctly timed tickets. We were all sort of off to the side, waiting for the flag crowd to clear. Up through all the crowd comes a very demanding lady. She was dragging her kids through the crowd, her husband was playing caboose. She jumped the line and pushed her family through. The angst filled crowd did not like this at all. A lot of grumbling commenced.

A few things happened at the same time. Flag crowd moved out of the way, the correct part of the line filed into the entrance, and I kept my group together. We walked into the line containment portion. I noticed a teenager behind me giving Mr. The King the death stare. I noticed right in front of us were the rude line jumper family. This should be a great wait. At least fast pass is fast. It’s right there in the name.

45 minutes later, we could start to see the actual ride.
I would not have waited in line for free money for that long on our last day. I would have rather walked the park.
In the 45 minutes we waited, I realized that death stare teenager was furious at the Kings. His group had gotten split up. Half of his group was ahead of the McRudes. The rest was behind us.
I said to the teenager “Hey did your party get split up?”
He nodded yes “We were with my family, up there”

“Well, please grab your group and go in front of us, and this family ahead of us.” I decided the rude family needed some good karma. Death stare turned into adorable smile. Happy noises were made as the group of about seven joined the rest up front.

I waited for the McRudes to complain. They didn’t. Their little girl started to play sweetly with PS.
Now, I have no mercy for line jumpers. But I realized after all these people weren’t demons. The two kids they had were polite and sweet. So maybe she was feeling overwhelmed at the crowds. Maybe this, like us, was the last ride.
45 minute Fast Pass waits should be illegal. By the time I got to the line chick, PS had chickened out. She no longer wanted to go on the ride.
I had a moment of inspiration. We could do the baby swap! Perfect. PC could see the ride twice and both Mr. the King and I would get to ride.
I mentioned this to the Soarin’ chick.
“Well, mam, you need to get a ticket to do that. Go back to front of the line, get the ticket, and once you have it, wait in line again for your turn.”
I had never done the baby swap before. We always had grandparents and if they were not there, we would split up.
I took a deep breath. “That wait was over 45 minutes.”
The cast member gave me an “oh well” shrug.
I felt anger start to rise up from my toes to my head. Unfortunately, when I get angry, I tend to cry. Which makes me look less right, and more hysterical.

I turn to Mr. the King, “Just take PC and ride” I stared watery daggers at snooty chick. Poor Mr. The King, takes everything to heart, and begins to wonder if I am frustrated at him.
“Are you sure? I can take her.” He just wants to make it better.
So I walked out of the ride. The walk out when you are stomping mad is 79 miles long. And all the poor suckers still on line get to watch you snapping at your sweet daughter saying unDisney things like “I wish you would just ride it, you already went on once.”
I was still stomping as I came out of the ride. The Cast Member at the door called after me “Is everything alright? Can I help?”

If I wasn’t such a crying mad chick, I could have went to that reasonable sounding cast member and told her the story. For Pete’s sake, my Mother’s a cast member; I know they are supposed to try to make you have a good time, within reason. And helping me with the Baby swap and not making me wait another 45 minutes was well within her powers.

But I didn’t. I sat in the giant food court and scooped PS next to me.
I apologized. This was her last Disney day too. I was ashamed. I had no right to be upset that she decided she didn’t want to ride the ride.
We sat there together waiting for our boys.

Up Next: Can we possibly eat enough to make our Dining Plan show a Zero balance?


Chapter 32 Can't make it to was

 

[Mrs. The King]

Just wanted to give you a shout out.

I have been MIA on the boards for a while so I just found your TR and read the ENTIRE THING!

I've never laughed and cried so much in my life! Your sense of humor and love for life rocks. So very sorry to hear about your Poppy! Peace to you and your family!

Thanks for the giggles ... and the tears!

I am so glad you came out of hiding to read this report!! I love that you laughed. Thank you for reading it!

Further proof that you and I are of the ilk of those easily amused by simple things.

I sooooo need to make Edward and Bella Miis. And Jacob too. My DH will say, what are those? And I'll just laugh.

That will be fun. Have you made them yet?

OMG! This has to be the funniest trip report I have ever read- I say THank you somewhat sarcastically because I found it last night while sitting on the couch-bored of the football games that were on....at about 10pm. Well I read it from start to end- which was about 3:00am- I seriously brought the laptop up to bed to finish it and woke my DH up because trying so hard to silence the laughter actually made the bed bounce and vibrate! The poor thing probably thought it was earthquake because he woke up that puzzled "what is going on" look.

I can relate on sooo many levels- I love the potty humor- I forwarded on your report to my best friend and soul mate ( who ironically and sadly lost her dad to ALS- and I lost my Grandfather to it as well- got to that part at about 1:30 am so I was happy to read on again as humor always helps!) Anyhow my best friend and I have gone to disney - and many many other road trips to all kinds of fun places with our kids ( befored I left her in NY to move to NC :-( )- I have a 9 year old boy- and she has an 8 yr ld boy and 10 yr old girl and we always said that we needed to write down our stories from our adventres because they always ened with us running home to share with grandparents and trying to tell them without peeing our pants with laughter- Oh and I am 35 as well but act not a day older than 16!

SO now I say thank you on a serious note ( no sarcasm here) because you have inspired me....maybe I will now write down all the crazy funny stories for my son to read when he gets older-because these are things that he may not remember...and you reminded me again of how precious life is and to make every day count! I woke up this morning and gave my son a longer than usual hug and realized that the simple action of being able to wrap your arms around your loved ones should never be taken for granted.

I look forward to the final chapter and will actually go back now and read your old trip report- I love Sundays! Although I will have to take a break at 1:00pm to watch my NY Giants hopefully whip some Philly jigglers!

Donna in NC

I loved your post! I am so on board for your first trip report! Please send me a link. I think you would write a great one. Thank you for reading

FYI, I got an email that Snuggies are BOGO. I'd be happy to forward it to you. Also DH bought a large Shamwow to use as his towel while he was gone for a month with the Army last summer. He loves it!

BOGO! That there is a sale and trumps all complaining! Seriously, I think I will use two ShamWows to empty my pool this summer. I love that your hubby wasn't afraid of the word "Sham" right there in the title. (Only kidding). If it is good enough for the army I think I need to strap on my Snuggy, clip a few reading lights to my ears and go buy me a ShamWow.

 

[winkers]

Oh my heavens!!!!!
The hand painted blue truck!!!
I love your parents!!