Sweet 16 gift--NY area....

[luvmarypoppins]

Another LI here, I would go with the $200 gift. My ds is making the sweet 16 rounds around here and these girls parents are going all out as usual. Only 1 had 1 in a firehouse hall, one is having one in a condo clubhouse, all the rest are at halls or country clubs. This is Mid Suffolk and I think they have been to Majestic Gardens, The Hamlet at Mount Sinai, Watermill in Smithtown , Thatched Cottage in Centerport, some are farther away in Bayshore etc, so I dont know the names of those places. I only give him $25 a party no matter where it is. Its all we can afford. I am sure other people give more since he goes to a small private school but I am not keeping up with the Jonses around here. I have 2 other ds in college and that is what the budget can take right now.

 

[luvtogo12]

Don't mean to hijack the thread but DS is going to a sweet 16 party tonight. I was thinking $50.00, now I am not sure this is enough? The party is at the house and it is just DS that is going. Am I being cheap?

 

[rflorek]

Don't mean to hijack the thread but DS is going to a sweet 16 party tonight. I was thinking $50.00, now I am not sure this is enough? The party is at the house and it is just DS that is going. Am I being cheap?

Sounds fine to me, especially since it's at a house (as long as it's something you can afford to give).

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Now I am in NY but not in NYC. My daughter's friends are definetely "more well off" than we are. They have catered parties, the full nine yards.... We send her with $25.00 if its at a house, $50.00 if it's catered. For my daughter's bday, I am taking her to NYC with one of her friends. I am paying for her friend. After much debate I am allowing her girlfriends parents to pay for one of our dinners. She is very happy with my decision. We will have a party with all her friends during a school break, but we will not be telling them its her bday party. They will think its just a get together, thus no concerns to bring a gift! I hope other parents will follow suit.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Now I am in NY but not in NYC. My daughter's friends are definetely "more well off" than we are. They have catered parties, the full nine yards.... We send her with $25.00 if its at a house, $50.00 if it's catered. For my daughter's bday, I am taking her to NYC with one of her friends. I am paying for her friend. After much debate I am allowing her girlfriends parents to pay for one of our dinners. She is very happy with my decision. We will have a party with all her friends during a school break, but we will not be telling them its her bday party. They will think its just a get together, thus no concerns to bring a gift! I hope other parents will follow suit.

You are taking the friend and then letting her pay?

 

[mjkacmom]

You are taking the friend and then letting her pay?

 

[IDoDis]

$250.00??? Am I on the right board? This is the BUDGET board, right?

Why not a nice piece of jewelry that would be a nice keepsake? Frankly, I don't think the cost of the party should dictate how much you spend. Don't know why a party in New York would net a more expensive gift than say a party in Denver. Heck, if the rule is to give what the expense of the party is, then everyone should throw big expensive parties because they'd make all their money back with the "gifts." Like a pp said, it's not like she did anything special like get married or graduate. It's just a birthday party.

 

[MomOf2DisneyKids]

Now I am in NY but not in NYC.

Hi! I've been to Cheektowaga a ton of times! Lots of relatives from that area!!

 

[bangzoom6877]

A nice piece of jewelry (like a charm or a pair of earrings) is a fine Sweet 16 gift. Under $100 is fine too.

When I had my Sweet 16 (in 1993), and I am born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, my parents had it in a nice catering hall, DJ, open bar for the adults only (excellent security at the place too, I must say, compared especially to the other Sweet 16's I went to where drinking was allowed!), buffet dinner, viennese hour with candy buffet, nice dress for me (but not a "$500" dress as some of my friends claimed to have), got my hair done, etc. Friends gave around $20 if they gave cash, or they gave me a gift like a small piece of jewelry (probably cost no more than $40 back then). Adults...close family gave maybe $50 a person, my dad's boss & wife gave $250 but he was a very rich man and that was an unusual amount to give for a Sweet 16.

For a wedding I always give $100 per adult in cash. A little more if it is someone extremely close (maybe $250 for the two of us). A Sweet 16? I think I would give either jewelry (more likely) or $100 from the two of us, maybe $150 from us and the kids (ages 3 and 1).

Sweet 16's are getting out of hand. In the mid-1990s, we wore beautiful dresses and everything, but today I see all these girls wearing (LITERALLY) wedding gowns to their Sweet 16's! How special will their actual wedding be after all this? I don't get it...they even wear these elaborate tiaras...the only thing missing is the veil...oh yeah and the groom!!!

 

[tiggrsbride]

Even though everything else is pricey here, I am so glad I live in MA! DS has done the 16 party thing a lot this year. None of his guy or girl friends has had any hullabaloo like you folks speak of. He goes to their parties with a card and twenty bucks.

When he turned 16, he requested a great dinner out. He chose to bring his buddy for dinner at The Capital Grille. Yum! His bud gave him $20 worth of Red Sox stuff...that covered his side dish and a coke!

I love hearing about different traditions around the country! To the OP-give what you are comfortable with, as long as it is affordable to you. Good luck!

 

[disneyjunkie]

$250.00??? Am I on the right board? This is the BUDGET board, right?

We all have different budgets.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

You are taking the friend and then letting her pay?

NO.... I must not have explained myself. I am paying for everything. The girls parents would only let her go if they could pay for one dinner.... I had to except so she could go!! I will make sure it is a very inexpensive meal that night, like pizza!!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

NO.... I must not have explained myself. I am paying for everything. The girls parents would only let her go if they could pay for one dinner.... I had to except so she could go!! I will make sure it is a very inexpensive meal that night, like pizza!!

Oh! That makes much more sense.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

$250.00??? Am I on the right board? This is the BUDGET board, right?

Why not a nice piece of jewelry that would be a nice keepsake? Frankly, I don't think the cost of the party should dictate how much you spend. Don't know why a party in New York would net a more expensive gift than say a party in Denver. Heck, if the rule is to give what the expense of the party is, then everyone should throw big expensive parties because they'd make all their money back with the "gifts." Like a pp said, it's not like she did anything special like get married or graduate. It's just a birthday party.

Well it wouldn't. If you are from here you would give the same amount to the people in Denver that you would give the people in NY. It is normal to give a decent cash gift here for certain events. Baptisms, Communion, Confirmation, Graduation, Sweet 16, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Weddings etc. We don't have parties so the guests can pay for the party with their gifts. We have parties because we like to. It is just the way things are here. It is like going to a wedding and seeing a full gift table. You NEVER see that here. Weddings are strictly a money gift event here. I have only once seen a gift table at a wedding on Long Island and I believe the bride had family from out of town. The table only had a few things on it. I am not saying a gift table is wrong so don't misunderstand, it is just not common here at all. The cost of a party doesn't dictate how we gift. We give based on how close the person is to us.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Well as the mom of a SON, I feel ripped off, No sweet 16,

Really though, it has gotten so out of hand, I mean how many of you have gone to the BIG 1st Birthday Party??? Amazing parties for THE PARENTS, clearly a year old does not know what the heck is going on.
We have been to some with Bands, huge tent with wedding set type tables, HUGE amounts of catered foods and desserts tables OR the one with an entire menagerie of farm animals and pony rides, bales of hay, catered BBQ campfire setting, etc.

What a Fun topic, the over indulgence of society rearing its head once again, as we all complain about gas and food price increases.

I say, GIFT what you want and more importantly, what you can AFFORD. Hopefully we were all invited because they wanted us to share the celebration, not because we "gift good."

And Yeah, LI'er here too, so minimum $500 for wedding and atleast $100 for birthday bashes, I care NOT what the age is!

 

[rflorek]

And Yeah, LI'er here too, so minimum $500 for wedding and atleast $100 for birthday bashes, I care NOT what the age is!

 

[java]

Well another reason I am glad I am off Long Island. I was raised on Long Island. And my sister had one of those big sweet 16 parties at a place that I couldn't even have my WEDDING at because it was too expensive.(My sweet 16 was in the basement and my mom made stuffed shells but it was fun)
I am in a similar situation in that we are missing a LI wedding when we are on vacation and I have to send a gift. I am thinking since we are not going a $100 gift is fine. DH is thinking hey it's long island maybe more? He doesn't want to look cheap and then I reminded him WE ARE CHEAP.

Really it is a sweet 16. If those chose to blow her college budget on a sweet 16 party, I don't think it is your responsibility to cover the plate of all of you. Personally I would give some earrings from Tiffany's. ($100 range)
If people stop giving ridiculous amounts of money at these parties maybe people would stop having them. jmho

 

[DisneygirlTeacher]

I think the amount of money and "things" that people are so called "expected" to give is ridiculous. I remember years ago my grandma telling me that in New Jersey people gave microwaves and tvs at bridal showers and we were shocked. Growing up mostly in Florida I have never heard of that unless it was for your own child getting married. I never have thought it as being cheap to give what you can afford and not go overboard. And, as far as Sweet 16 parties....omg, what are they going to get when they get married??? These kids think they are entitled to an expensive car because they are 16?? (Ok, I was thinking about the MTV show...lol) Life is about hard work and earning what you get....I'm not saying a new driver doesn't deserve a car...but how about a nice, safe, affordable one? I believe that if everything is handed to you that you appreciate nothing.

 

[rflorek]

I think the amount of money and "things" that people are so called "expected" to give is ridiculous. I remember years ago my grandma telling me that in New Jersey people gave microwaves and tvs at bridal showers and we were shocked.

I've lived in NJ all my life and have never seen those kind of shower gifts for friends or family. My sister just had her bridal shower and she got cookware, household items, and lots of gift cards from Lowe's towards new appliances.

 

[DisneygirlTeacher]

Just shows the difference with what people are willing to give, I guess.