Swearing on the school bus

[Hillbeans]

I don't want to embarrass DS 10 but he said a 9 yo bus mate uses every word in the book for almost the entire 20 minute ride home and it's getting worse. He said today the F word was used multiple times. They sit in assigned seats across from each other (in pairs). My choices are to speak with the driver to maybe change his seat, give DS my Ipod and tell him to stick it in his ears for 20 minutes, or just ignore it. I guess the driver can't hear it or i'd assume he'd put a stop to it.

Any suggestions? I'd rather not make a big deal out of something but I assume the best option is to ask for a change of seat. Thanks!

 

[bellebud]

personally, I'd leave it. Your ds has now (or already had) heard all these words. As long as your ds doesn't start saying them himself, it's fine.

 

[sunnyday123]

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm sure that 9 year old isn't the only one using those words. ( Not your kid) Boys seem to see cussing as a "grown up" thing and start doing it around that age. Some things you just can't control. I'd give him the ipod and tell him to ignore it, the kids is probably trying to look cool to his older seat buddy.

 

[acejka]

I'd give him the ipod and call it a day... I remember all the kids whispering the f word at each other at recess everday in the 2nd grade.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

personally, I'd leave it. Your ds has now (or already had) heard all these words. As long as your ds doesn't start saying them himself, it's fine.

I agree. I think you should either give him your ipod, or tell him to ignore it as much as he can. You intervening will not make him, or other kids, stop swearing, it'll just single your son out.

 

[Hillbeans]

personally, I'd leave it. Your ds has now (or already had) heard all these words. As long as your ds doesn't start saying them himself, it's fine.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm sure that 9 year old isn't the only one using those words. ( Not your kid) Boys seem to see cussing as a "grown up" thing and start doing it around that age. Some things you just can't control. I'd give him the ipod and tell him to ignore it, the kids is probably trying to look cool to his older seat buddy.

I'd give him the ipod and call it a day... I remember all the kids whispering the f word at each other at recess everday in the 2nd grade.

Yes, the Ipod is what i'm leaning towards....there are only a few months of school left. For some reason, bad language really bothers DS and maybe these kids are just trying to push his buttons.

 

[acejka]

Yes, the Ipod is what i'm leaning towards....there are only a few months of school left. For some reason, bad language really bothers DS and maybe these kids are just trying to push his buttons.

oh gosh, definitely give him the ipod and tell him to ignore it... the seat move request will single him out and the kids will most liekly just pick on him and cuss around him more to push his buttons.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

IPOD for sure. The bus is a hotbed of garbage that will never end.

And to be honest "telling on" someone on the bus to get his seat moved is like putting a bullseye on his back. Avoid at all costs unless someone is being bullied or hurt, etc.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I feel bad but have to say things are only going to get worse so he has got to find a way to tolerate what is being said around him or he may find himself on the receiving end of those words. Harsh but very likely true, stuff like this can make a kid a target for a long time.

Last year I made the mistake of putting my chair too close to my son's 12 year old Lacrosse team for practice and my face went a little something like this and then I picked up my stuff and moved about 20 feet away

 

[luvmy3]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way because its meant sort of tongue in cheek. If your 10 year old ds needs an ipod to be able to make it through the bad language on his bus, he might be better off being driven to and from school from here on out. Unfortunately, its only going to get worse. I know there are kids that swear on my dses elementary bus because they come home and tell me what gets said, but my the things my dd says the kids talk about on her bus (middle school/Jr. high) will make your hair curl

I would call transporation and request a change of seat, but also ask if it could be made not so obvious that I did. Maybe the bus driver could do a whole bus seat change so your ds isn't singled out.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I don't want to embarrass DS 10 but he said a 9 yo bus mate uses every word in the book for almost the entire 20 minute ride home and it's getting worse. He said today the F word was used multiple times. They sit in assigned seats across from each other (in pairs). My choices are to speak with the driver to maybe change his seat, give DS my Ipod and tell him to stick it in his ears for 20 minutes, or just ignore it. I guess the driver can't hear it or i'd assume he'd put a stop to it.

Any suggestions? I'd rather not make a big deal out of something but I assume the best option is to ask for a change of seat. Thanks!

No, the best option it NOT to ask for a change of seat. The best option is to just ignore it. By making a big deal of it, you are giving power to the words that just isn't there. Furthermore, it won't make the kid stop, but it will single out your son unnecessarily.

Your kid heard swear words. Big deal. He has probably heard them before. The key is what is your son going to to do with those words? As long as he doesn't start spewing them at every turn, then I would not worry about it.

 

[Hillbeans]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way because its meant sort of tongue in cheek. If your 10 year old ds needs an ipod to be able to make it through the bad language on his bus, he might be better off being driven to and from school from here on out. Unfortunately, its only going to get worse. I know there are kids that swear on my dses elementary bus because they come home and tell me what gets said, but my the things my dd says the kids talk about on her bus (middle school/Jr. high) will make your hair curl

It's ok, and i'm not taking it the wrong way. I guess now that DS is in 4th grade he's not a little kid any more, and it's just one of those things that comes with the territory. I still don't like it though, especially the F one.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Last year I made the mistake of putting my chair too close to my son's 12 year old Lacrosse team for practice and my face went a little something like this and then I picked up my stuff and moved about 20 feet away

Totally agree with this!

One of the mom's on my 12 yo DS's travel basketball team got bent out of shape when her son told her that the boys on another team were swearing at our boys. Really? And I asked her seriously, do you think your son has never heard those words or better yet has never used them? Made her think because she knows her son is definetly no "goody two shoes".

I agree the language and pranks will only get worse. On DS's bus its just horrible. The stories he tells me sometimes are just...

Hate to say it, but tell him to suck it up and get used to it.

 

[snowy76]

I learned all the swear words I didn't already know by riding the bus in 5th grade, because I read them all scribbled on the seat in front of me

 

[epcotprincess]

I guess if it were my kid I would be glad he told me, and then I would probably use it as a teachable moment to talk about why he thinks the other kid says those words (is he trying to seem tough? older? smarter?) and then mention how he's not really accomplishing much by swearing. I'd probably say something like, "gee, that's sad that the other student doesn't have a bigger vocabulary that he can use to express himself. I hope you don't decide to use words like that because I'm sure you've noticed that it's a bad reflection on a person's character."

I agree that moving him or talking to the driver could single your son out and create a much bigger issue.

I think it's probably a good thing that's all he's seen on the bus at 10 years old-- I've sadly seen everything from smuggled Hustlers to explicit talk of sex acts and alcohol/ cigarette use happening at that age.

 

[Luv'sTink]

Be prepared that if the Ipod gets stolen the school will do nothing about it. Are you even sure they are allowed at his school?


Just because kids cuss doesn't mean it should be OK. If I heard my son (14) swearing, especially in front of other kids mom's he would be in trouble. I am not saying they don't/wont swear in front of each other, but it will not/is not OK for my son or his friends to swear in front of me! Two words..RESPECT & MANNERS!

 

[dislaney]

Give him the ipod to listen to if it bothers him. I agree moving his seat will single him out.

 

[Agri]

I wouldn't give him the ipod, especially just because he's hearing something he doesn't like. Its not the first time and it won't be the last - he just needs to figure out how to tune it out and deal with it on his own.

As another PP said, ipods probably aren't even allowed at his school and its an expensive risk to block out something he should be figuring out how to deal with on his own.

See a trend here?

Learning to just say to himself mentally something like "I'm glad I don't act like that" and then proceeding to tune it out is a good life lesson to learn.

He's on his way to school - he has a whole backpack full of things to distract himself for the 20 minutes he needs to. He doesn't need an ipod. Heck, he can tune them out by thinking of what he wants to do after school, his favorite movies, etc. Just giving him an ipod isn't going to help him develop his own method of coping.

In the grand scheme of things, cursing is not a big deal. There are lots of things people are going to say or do in his life that he won't like. This is a good time to teach him this and that in this instance, its something to be ignored. Also, telling on a kid for cursing, while probably against the rules, would be considered tattling in his peer group. (Cursing has never been a big deal to me - whether I say something with curse words or not, the meaning is still the same, after all. ) Another important lesson in dealing with people in a social setting is learning what you *should* bring to an authority figure and what you *shouldn't* bring to an authority figure. Cursing? Nope. Using curse words to threaten to harm another student? Yes.

 

[minniebeth]

Ditto on what everyone else is saying~
Last year, one of the parents of kids on my DDs' bus complained to the bus driver about the language and inappropriate conversations and his response was
"my job is to drive the kids safely to school...unless a kid is getting bullied or hurt, it's not my business." So there you have it.

 

[dzorn]

I would give him a set of ear plugs not an Ipod. In our district ipod are not allowed at school and even if it was woud you want to worry about it being stolen.

Denise in MI