swapping etiquette

[nicurn]

I'm not really sure how to phrase this because I'm really not trying to be mean or rude or anything like that. Twopeas used to do swaps, however, due to a lot of flakers, swaps not getting done in a timely manner, etc, they no longer do swaps. another board (lifetimemoments) still does swaps but they have a flaker list and ban people from swaps if they flake out.

this board a) still does swaps and b) doesn't have a flaker list. That's what makes this board nice.

Unfortunantly, there are a bunch of swaps currently that are very late and not a lot of information is going out to the participants. I just think that
a) the hostess should keep people updated
b) if you join a swap and can't do it after all, that's ok but please let the hostess know so that she can get you a replacement. DON'T just disappear off the face of the earth, that's rude to the hostess and the other swappers. I totally understand that life happens (you get sick, family gets sick, etc) just let the hostess know. Again, I'm sorry that this may be coming across as mean but it probably had to be said. maggie

 

[potterphreak]

Doesn't sound mean, sounds right! I am looking forward to joining in the swap fun and would be quite peeved if someone flaked.

 

[jennz]

Maggie - I think you said it very nicely. It doesn't sound mean, and I know when I've committed to something I usually don't think about getting someone to take over for me. It's nice that you've put that out there as an option.

OT: potterphreak as in Harry?

 

[sweet maxine]

I totally agree! And it doesn't sound mean, it just sounds like what needs to be said.

 

[Spinning]

Sounds good to me!
I love the swaps on this board. WOuld hate to see them tarnished by a few.

 

[WDWMom]

Maggie, you said it great. I just want to add that hostess need to get the rest of us informed too. I realize life happens and you can't get packages out on time, but let us know. It takes 5 minutes to type it up!

 

[potterphreak]

OT: potterphreak as in Harry?

Sure is!! Harry is my main man (just don't tell DH-<wink wink>)! I prefer the books over the movies but still make it to each and every movie (opening day too! LOL) and then whine and gripe about unlike the books they are. LOL




Sending some that swaps don't stop before I get involved now that I went and bought all kinds of stuff to make elements!!!! (hee hee aren't I the selfish little bugger?!)

 

[bubbasmom99]

OT - OMG I love the books. The movies are okay but it bugs the bejeebers out of me that they have to cut so much. I personally would love to sit through a 5 hour unabridged movie (just give me a midway pee break).

As far as etiquette and the rules (and I touched on this briefly in the other thread), I guess it would be nice to know what people think is fair but compassionate. Mailing delays are inevitable. I was waiting for a package from Washington State (I'm in CA), and it was mailed on Monday -- I didn't receive it until Friday, and that was priority mail, which should take 3 days at most, coast to coast. Should the deadline be a mailing deadline or a receipt deadline and is or is there not a grace period? Should people have to provide personal info (email address or phone #?) so they can be contacted if they don't check in on the board? Should people have to check in on the board regularly to stay in the swap?

I don't think I'd want a flaker list. There can be lots of reasons that someone doesn't complete a swap -- that doesn't mean they're not totally reliable the rest of the time.... however, I am in favor of some sort of way to track that people are still interested in participating in the swap... especially since we have long (2-3 month) swap periods. Alot can change during 2 months.

Ugh... I wish there was an easier way to do this....

 

[goofymom/pop]

maybe we could have a swap buddy....someone you contact if things go wrong or you cannot complete your end of the swap. This way they can help you out or post to the board on your behalf for a swap angel to help complete the work. At least one person should be able to contact all swappees, so we don't totally lose touch with someone.

 

[piratesmate]

Of course even with an address, email addy & phone number there are people who still do not respond once contacted. I thought Caller ID was a great invention before the "Do Not Call Lists" as a way to avoid telemarketers....but now I'm finding it just allows someone to avoid talking to me.

I don't know what the solution is to all this. I've greatly enjoyed the swaps I've done. It's really great to see the different styles everyone uses - I've learned a lot by doing this. I'm glad that I was allowed to join the swaps as a newbie scrapper. It would be a shame to deny others the same opportunity.

Maybe if we just try to keep the swap groups smaller so that no one gets overwhelmed & can't finish. We're all adults (well, except for some our daughters who participate) & we should know what we can handle...but maybe we could suggest that first-time swappers only sign up for one group - like just Vision or just Creativity. Once they're seen how much work is involved & actually deliver they can be considered "tried & true"? Seems kind of restrictive, but ...

As for me, I think it's a case of caveat emptor. Although I wasn't involved in the MIA swap, I think from now on I'll only sign up for swaps with hostesses I "know". It's probably not a good idea for someone who has never swapped to actually be in charge of one.

[NOTE: My apologies to PoohBearLovinMama - this is no way is directed at you! I pulled out of your swap because I rethought the time frame & realized it wouldn't be a good idea with everything I have planned around then. And you may have been in previous swaps - I just don't remember doing them with you.]

 

[nicki dahling]

Maggie this is probably one of the times it didn't not come across as mean at all. I like the fact that you are so open and to the point. I agree with what you said ( I do most of the time anyway ). You say what a lot of us would like to say, but that don't have the guts to say. By the way, you must be rubbing off on me because I just said something similiar on the other thread.

Cyndi

I'm not really sure how to phrase this because I'm really not trying to be mean or rude or anything like that. Twopeas used to do swaps, however, due to a lot of flakers, swaps not getting done in a timely manner, etc, they no longer do swaps. another board (lifetimemoments) still does swaps but they have a flaker list and ban people from swaps if they flake out.

this board a) still does swaps and b) doesn't have a flaker list. That's what makes this board nice.

Unfortunantly, there are a bunch of swaps currently that are very late and not a lot of information is going out to the participants. I just think that
a) the hostess should keep people updated
b) if you join a swap and can't do it after all, that's ok but please let the hostess know so that she can get you a replacement. DON'T just disappear off the face of the earth, that's rude to the hostess and the other swappers. I totally understand that life happens (you get sick, family gets sick, etc) just let the hostess know. Again, I'm sorry that this may be coming across as mean but it probably had to be said. maggie

 

[pattyT]

As a recent swap airhead I have to say I agree completely Maggie!
now come kick my a** in gear will ya

I personally will not be signing up for any more swaps until this house thing is done - I never took into account how much work I would have to do - I didn't think i would stress over the smallest details - and I am (don't get me wrong it is fun - and i love when it comes together the way i picture but it is taking up a LOT of my time!)

 

[Spinning]

bubbasmom99
I think my main concern with some of the wording is in the initial swap directions. I am a procrastinator by trait. Work very hard not to be. But if I hear even a small hint that it can be a week late...then I might be....does that make sense? (I did mail my bazzill swap out 2 days ago so you can see I am working hard on not being late!) But giving an automatic grace period is nice and hopefully it is used only when something major comes up but I think for the most part it is missused.
So I think in the direction a late date shouldn't be put out there. But a statement about if a problem comes up contact the host ASAP so arrangements can be made.
As for a flaker list, I would so HATE to see that! I just don't think it fits our board. This a very friendly and inviting board.

 

[WDWMom]

Maybe in the final details there should be a "due" date and then a "I'm mailing out" date. If hostess does not receive by the due date then your package is returned. I know I used the one week flaker policy thinking it gave me a week to package everything and if someone was late then I could still package them. This worked for me except for my little problem and one going to the wrong hostess, but in the end it worked out and I mailed 11 days after the due date. Not bad I thought considering there are other swaps I've been in that had earlier due dates and I still haven't received them.

 

[rsjj]

Of course even with an address, email addy & phone number there are people who still do not respond once contacted. I thought Caller ID was a great invention before the "Do Not Call Lists" as a way to avoid telemarketers....but now I'm finding it just allows someone to avoid talking to me.

I don't know what the solution is to all this. I've greatly enjoyed the swaps I've done. It's really great to see the different styles everyone uses - I've learned a lot by doing this. I'm glad that I was allowed to join the swaps as a newbie scrapper. It would be a shame to deny others the same opportunity.

Maybe if we just try to keep the swap groups smaller so that no one gets overwhelmed & can't finish. We're all adults (well, except for some our daughters who participate) & we should know what we can handle...but maybe we could suggest that first-time swappers only sign up for one group - like just Vision or just Creativity. Once they're seen how much work is involved & actually deliver they can be considered "tried & true"? Seems kind of restrictive, but ...

As for me, I think it's a case of caveat emptor. Although I wasn't involved in the MIA swap, I think from now on I'll only sign up for swaps with hostesses I "know". It's probably not a good idea for someone who has never swapped to actually be in charge of one.

[NOTE: My apologies to PoohBearLovinMama - this is no way is directed at you! I pulled out of your swap because I rethought the time frame & realized it wouldn't be a good idea with everything I have planned around then. And you may have been in previous swaps - I just don't remember doing them with you.]

i am newbie as far as swapping is concerned. i've got one swap under my belt! i agree, that we are all adults, & should realistically see what we can and cannot do! (time constraints, other responsibilities, etc.) when i was "lurking", there were all these swaps out there, that sounds like fun. but i knew i wasn't able to participate, since it just sounded so "overwhelming". so when i came across one swap that may seem suitable for me (holiday card one hosted by bubbasmom99), i became brave. but even before i signed up, i had asked so many questions...just so i knew exactly what i was getting myself into! and everyone there has been so wonderful & helpful in making me feel "it's ok, join, it'll be fun".

anyways...i think if you sign up for a swap, you got to follow thru w/it. it's just like being committed to something in life. and if you can't, then, maybe you don't sign up? why do it, and then flake out? unless, of course, there's a good reason behind it. and of course, everyone's "good reason" is different from everyone else's, i suppose!

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

Didn't sound mean at all - made a lot of sense.

I think that a post by date would be good. I wouldn't post a date for sending the packages out because of problems with the mail that may arise. I also think that a pm to the host would be a good way to let them know the package is on the way. That way, if you are the host and there is a postal problem you will know what date it was mailed and how it was mailed (parcel post or priority) and can determine if the post office should start looking for it.

I don't think it is a problem to give hostess name/address/phone/email info in order to participate. They have to send you the return package anyway so why not make it easy for them.

I am one of those people who usually just put a fiver in the box instead of stamps. I figure that it may end up costing more to mail the packages that thought and the hostess can use the extra for more scrap items or a treat for herself for hosting for us. I didn't realize that that caused problems for some people until I read in another post about someone having trouble getting to the post office. The info was probably in one of the many posts I read but it slipped my mind. Maybe we should be sure to add that only stamps are acceptable or something like that so the hostess isn't inconvenienced.

Maybe I am sitting here over analizing and should stop now.
sorry this is so long.
Sandy

 

[PoohBearLovinMama]

Totally agree with all these points. I think it's a really great idea to PM the swap host when you mail out your package as well as the host posting when she mailed the packages back. That way, everyone can be on the look out and will know if something is up with the PO.

Don't worry Piratesmate, I didn't take against me at all. I know how it must feel. But just so everyone knows, I've been in swaps before (not on the disboards) but I've never hosted before. As I said in sweetmaxines thread, threads like this are really helping me understand the important things in swap etiquette! Better out in the open where everyone can learn, I say!

 

[nicki dahling]

Sandy this was only an issue for me because I don't drive. I always posted in my swaps that I wanted stamps, but I understand when ladies get excited and don't always read the "fine" print (lol). Or may not have been able to get a stamp. This is probably not a problem for more hostess, but it made my life a lot easier. Like I said, hubby even brought me a big mailbox so my packages could fit. Being at home all of the time, the swaps gave me a outlet to the outside world. I loved getting the packages from all over the place. But I realize now that some may not have understood how inbound I am with the exceptions of weekends ( or unless I was out with a family member). Most of the time during the week the post office was closed before I could get there. And some weekends it was not possible to get there because of other committments ( usually not even my own, but that of my husband ). I finally came to the conclusion that I needed to come up with a better system or just not participate. At this time I choose the latter. I'd rather keep my friendships. But it was never my intention to make people feel as if I was not being fair or honest. I thought I had kept communications open ( I always emailed or posted if there was some type of delay, and never ignored questions that people asked me ). Lesson learned for me is that that doesn't always convey through pm's or emails, no matter how sincere you are.

Cyndi

I am one of those people who usually just put a fiver in the box instead of stamps. I figure that it may end up costing more to mail the packages that thought and the hostess can use the extra for more scrap items or a treat for herself for hosting for us. I didn't realize that that caused problems for some people until I read in another post about someone having trouble getting to the post office. The info was probably in one of the many posts I read but it slipped my mind. Maybe we should be sure to add that only stamps are acceptable or something like that so the hostess isn't inconvenienced.


Sandy

 

[jedi_librarian]

I like the idea of having guidelines across the board for all the swaps. I've only done 2, but both were structured differently. With different rules, etc, one being more clear than the other.

 

[jenny2]

I didn't see this mentioned so forgive if it has, but what about making it required that the swap stuff gets mailed priority with a tracking number? I just sent out some swap stuff and it's only 40 cents more to be able to track it. That would make it easier on the host (to be able to see when she'll expect it) and the swapper.

Just an idea...