Surrogate Mothers: A good idea?

[Lisa_M]

I think for the convience factor surrogacy is not appropriate. I'm sure it happens though. I would be a surrogate for either of my sisters (both have PCOS) if they needed me to. One is 16 now so I'd likely be too old if/when she needed me. My pregnancy and labor was super easy and I'm fairly young. I don't think if I was a surrogate for a stranger I would be able to give the baby up, even if it wasn't genetically mine. I could do it for my sisters because I would be able to see and love the child their whole life.

 

[coolbeans]

I LOVED being pregnant soooooo much!! I had joked with my husband that I would love to do it BUT, I live in a small town and it would bring up too many questions with the locals .. pregnant one day...no baby the next. They just wouldn't understand. Plus I don't think my heart or kids would get it either.

 

[Cool-Beans]

If you cannot carry the baby yourself, I think it is a wonderful thing. I'd do it for someone as long as my egg wasn't involved. I'd think of it as babysitting.

But having someone else carry it for you because you don't want to bother? And then after someone else gives birth to it, handing it off to nannies to raise? Why even have the child? If you don't wish to carry it or raise it...why???

It's really none of my business. People can and should do whatever they please. I just don't get that.

 

[ms.yt]

Honestly, that's the kind of thing that should be thought, and said between people you know agree, at home, rather than stated out loud. Seriously.

'cuz as far as I know, this god you talk about doesn't plunk down 20K for adoption fees along with the knowledge that you can't have 'em.

Now I know what you're thinking...you're thinking I disagree entirely. In our time of secondary infertility, I've realized as time passes that, for us, it has been GOOD that we haven't yet been able to have a baby. DS was far too...too...something...having more kids quickly would have sent me over the edge. I used to long for "irish twins" but I wouldn't have survived, I don't think. So for us it has been good. And recently we've basically figured out the problem, and it's a problem that could have been remedied about 2 years ago when hubby started talking to NDs and MDs about some symptoms he was having, but they all ignored him entirely, wanting to focus on my age, rather than the things he was telling them were going on...

So we see a light at the end of the tunnel, and for our OWN SELVES and our own lives, we know that it's been a good thing that this all happened...but I would never look at someone else's situation and say that it's a good thing for THEM, too.

Well, unless YOU are going to give them the money for adoption....are you?

I don't necessarily agree with the poster you quoted, but you do know that there are adoption options that don't cost $20,000, right? Adopting from the state doesn't cost anything.