My thoughts and prayers go out to you. How horrible it's been and my heart breaks for you and your child.
Bravo Eros. There is nothing wrong with wanting to check out early and with the help of a caring and compassionate doctor, that should be a choice given to all who might want or need to do so.
Again, please know you'll be in my thoughts often.
Do you have some sort of support system (family, friends, church?) to help you thru the holidays?