Suffered a miscarriage this week

[Deesknee]

Thank you! The worst is everyone who said "Oh I had one and now I have 2 (or 3) kids." I hate to say it but there are no guarantees that we will have a healthy child. I guess I am thinking too negatively.

When I was going thru this stuff, I needed time to grieve. Time it seemed noone wanted to allow me. So, I will say this. When the time comes you want to hear encouraging stories of life after miscarriage, feel free to pm me, if you would like. For now, my advice is to be gentle with yourself. Grief is personal & real.

 

[minkydog]

Thank you! The worst is everyone who said "Oh I had one and now I have 2 (or 3) kids." I hate to say it but there are no guarantees that we will have a healthy child. I guess I am thinking too negatively.

Oh, I hope I didn't offend you. I felt just like you when I lost my baby. I didn't think I would ever be happy again. I couldn't even imagine that I'd have another baby--I was 35 with fertility issues and this felt like my last chance. The last thing I wanted was for people to say, "Oh, you'll have more babies." It didn't seem that way at the time.

I guess all I am trying to say is, its not over yet. You're hurting and it's hard to see the forest for the trees. But I want you to have some encouragement that life does indeed go on, despite how bad you feel right now. I certainly hope that you will go on to have as many babies as you wish.

 

[Aburns8]

Thanks Deesknee - I might have to take you up on this offer.

Oh, I hope I didn't offend you. I felt just like you when I lost my baby. I didn't think I would ever be happy again. I couldn't even imagine that I'd have another baby--I was 35 with fertility issues and this felt like my last chance. The last thing I wanted was for people to say, "Oh, you'll have more babies." It didn't seem that way at the time.

I guess all I am trying to say is, its not over yet. You're hurting and it's hard to see the forest for the trees. But I want you to have some encouragement that life does indeed go on, despite how bad you feel right now. I certainly hope that you will go on to have as many babies as you wish.

Thank you for the words, and you didn't offend me. We are going to continue to try, but I am getting up there in age and have fertility issues as well. I am just hoping that I or anyone else doesn't have to go through this multiple times. It just sucks!

 

[lovethattink]

When I was going thru this stuff, I needed time to grieve. Time it seemed noone wanted to allow me. So, I will say this. When the time comes you want to hear encouraging stories of life after miscarriage, feel free to pm me, if you would like. For now, my advice is to be gentle with yourself. Grief is personal & real.

Same here, feel free to pm.

And I agree, take the time you need to grieve.

I remember going through the anger phase of grief and I was in the shower just screaming at God and crying. It took me 10 years to conceive and then having 2 miscarriages. I truely wanted to believe that all things work together for good, but couldn't possibly see how. Screaming at the top of my lungs, I blurted out help me believe. Not sure what happened in that moment, but all of the sudden I was at peace, and no longer angry.

Thank you! The worst is everyone who said "Oh I had one and now I have 2 (or 3) kids." I hate to say it but there are no guarantees that we will have a healthy child. I guess I am thinking too negatively.

There are no guarantees of a healthy child for anyone. I have a special needs child and he is one of the greatest joys of my life. I was 37 years old when I had him.

Never give up hope. It may seem dismal now, but it really does get better in time. Though it's not the time that heals, but what you do in that time that will make all the difference.

 

[ccgirl]

I am so sorry for everyone's loss. While I have never personally experienced it myself my BF who has put it very well. She said a lot of people get confused because you have never actually held the baby. She said it wasn't just the baby she lost but all the hopes and dreams for that baby she had already started to think about. It is a loss. Take your grieving time. Know that lots of people send you hugs and prayers.

I think the people stating that they went on to have children after miscarriage aren't doing it to be mean; they just want to give you some hope.

I hope you have a magical time on your cruise.

I wish you all the best!

 

[Carnie]

I had one last month. I understand.

 

[Aburns8]

I had one last month. I understand.

Thank you. And I hope you are coping as well.

 

[nickyb720]

You know, the toughest part is what you go through after it happens. All you hear people say is "It's not your fault." But, you still get the medical bills, you have to go for blood tests. You try to get back to some form of normalcy, but sometimes it's still very tough because you are laways reminded of it.

 

[merbobear]

I'm so sorry to all of you that have experienced the loss of a child. Take your time to grieve, and like another person said - friends and family may say things that seem really odd or downright inappropriate - they have not been in your shoes and most likely do not understand what a loss it truly is.

 

[Aburns8]

You know, the toughest part is what you go through after it happens. All you hear people say is "It's not your fault." But, you still get the medical bills, you have to go for blood tests. You try to get back to some form of normalcy, but sometimes it's still very tough because you are laways reminded of it.

That is what I am going through right now. I am not getting the bills yet, just the insurance statements with the words "What you may owe". I am freaking out because I was at the doctor the week before it happened, I had to go to urgent care for a sprained ankle, and I don't even want to know what the ER bill is going to be like. I am going for my third blood test tomorrow. I am just hoping the hormone levels are 0 this time so I can get back to normal and not have to go back next week. All I can do is move forward and try again.

 

[quasar4legs]

Hi,

It's hard not to worry about medical bills, they just seem to mount up so quickly.
I am glad that you are getting good medical care and just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Be kind to you.

 

[Aburns8]

Hi,

It's hard not to worry about medical bills, they just seem to mount up so quickly.
I am glad that you are getting good medical care and just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Be kind to you.

Thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts! I had another hard day yesterday. Is it me or is everyone pregnant right now?

 

[lovethattink]

Thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts! I had another hard day yesterday. Is it me or is everyone pregnant right now?

I'm so sorry you had another hard day yesterday. I hope today goes much better!

 

[Aburns8]

I'm so sorry you had another hard day yesterday. I hope today goes much better!

Thanks me to. At least the crying spells are getting shorter and shorter. I am also hoping that my blood test comes back today with much lower levels and I don't have to go back and get another test.

 

[ccgirl]

Thanks me to. At least the crying spells are getting shorter and shorter. I am also hoping that my blood test comes back today with much lower levels and I don't have to go back and get another test.

Keeping my fingers crossed that your blood tests come back better.

 

[Aburns8]

Keeping my fingers crossed that your blood tests come back better.

Good news, the blood test came back clean. I am done with bloodwork for now!

 

[lovethattink]

Good news, the blood test came back clean. I am done with bloodwork for now!

Hurray!

 

[ccgirl]

Good news, the blood test came back clean. I am done with bloodwork for now!

I am so happy for you!!! YEah!!!!! Thanks for keeping us updated, I was thinking of you today.

 

[Aburns8]

Thanks everyone for thinking of me. Now I am waiting for the bills to come in Hopefully they are not too bad!

 

[basketkat]

I am so sorry for your loss.