Suddenly TEEN

[texaslady22]

We're foster parents for ages 0-3. We have a newborn baby right now and thought that was it. Isn't it interesting how God has different plans for our lives?!

We are likely getting an older teenage boy next week! We'll suddenly have a teen and a newborn!

He'll need everything--shoes, backpack, clothes, wallet, personal effects, etc. He's coming from a rough situation.

How do I prioritize? What do I buy at Sam's for him to eat? How do you keep a teenage boy full? How can I do all of this without breaking the bank?

I went to add him to our family camp reservation and it was $650 for the week at camp!! I'm starting to fear how much this will all cost but I want to provide a home for him!

 

[mistysue]

Until you figure out what he personally likes, I don't think you can go wrong buying basically all those things that if you didn't mind gaining 100 lbs by tonight everybody would spend all day chowing down. Frozen pizza bites, general frozen appetizers, microwave popcorn, fries, tater tots, boxed mac and cheese, burgers, chips (maybe get a variety pack of the little bags then take note of which ones disappear on day 1. My sister called me yesterday while shopping for her son and was getting him a bunch of individual frozen meals- but the good ones, like the stouffer's lasagna, not the on sale diet ones. If you buy a taco kit that is shelf stable and gives you a quick option most kids like. If he's from a rough situation that is also likely the stuff he is used to, so it may be nice to start there and even take him to the grocery with you if that seems realistic after you meet.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Protein and starch!

<<<<<<former teen boy

 

[3boysNagirl]

I have 17&13.75 teen boys so I will say the keeping him full will be challenging lol I would pick up some traditional teen "grub" (pizza rolls, hot pockets, chips chips n more chips) BUT if he has came from a bad situation I would also get a variety of fruit & fresh snacking veggies (Ranch to dip 'em) for the reason of his health. I would purchase light until I could pinpoint his faves. When you prepare meals don't let him snack 1 hr before trying to get him to try everything. Clothes are definitely designed for individuals these days so I would purchase lightly there also until you get him there. Between DH & 2xDS they all wear different style of sock & underclothes! Teens can be as much fun as infants if you can get a healthy level of responsibility=respect Best wishes

 

[cel_disney]

I am not yet feeding a teenager, just a bottomless pit 7.5 year old that's the size of the average 11 year old.....but....

I would not start out with all junky frozen food. I would have fruit and yogurt, pasta, tacos, chicken and rice, pork tenderloin, pulled pork, breakfast for dinner type meals planned for your first week..plus maybe hot dogs and hamburgers...the frozen pre made stuff is expensive and not usually healthy... For snacks, tostito multigrain chips and salsa, spinach and artichoke dip (this is where I would recommend the TGIF brand!), and I he likes it - make up some buffalo chicken dip and put it in small containers to heat up as needed etc...(and all ths assumes no allergies?). You may find he really appreciates the home cooking?

I would plan to try to work in a trip to the grocery store with him. We have a SAVERS consignment shop here and that's where many people take foster kids to get a bunch of basics - jeans, etc, and also target for basic socks, thirst, etc.. then when you meet him, you can decide where to get a few special wardrobe pieces - does he want a sporting goods store items or Abercrombie....go for 2-3 signature pieces for his style...you don't want to put the sports teen in prep gear, or the prepster in a hoody and drop waste jeans - you will have to get to know him for some things if you can afford it.

Good luck and congratulations on the pending new addition!!!

 

[fauna74]

My 17 DS loves subs, tacos, sloppy joes and also likes to make microwave quesadillas.

Have you spoken to the high school he will be attending? Or your local PTA/home & school association? I bet there is someone who can help you get him a backpack and school supplies.

Best of luck and bless you for being such generous and caring people!

 

[texasroni75]

I would stock up my pantry to just double whatever amount the family usually eats and make the same meals you normally would but larger quantities.

After any length of time of having to prepare meals for themselves, teenagers will usually greet any home-cooked meal with oohs and ahhhs - even if it's just baked macaroni and cheese, or sloppy joes.

 

[zoemurr]

I wouldn't buy a lot of junk either.. I wouldn't feed that to my own kids. I'd start with burgers or subs, or even order a pizza. Then just ask him what he likes to eat. I think the clothing is going to be much more challenging. If you know his sizes then I would get him some socks and underwear, and a few t-shirts cheap somewhere. If you can i would take him shopping and splurge on a few pairs of "in" jeans. Sneakers are $$ too but most boys wear the same pair every day. Maybe make a budget and let him prioritize and pick some things out? I have no problem with second hand items but I would get them before he arrives and then take him shopping for some new things.

You are wonderful to be doing this. Remember though that teenage boys from the best situations often don't talk much and can be very moody. Don't take it personally.

 

[goingtowdwwithkiddos]

What are you having for dinner ? Make him the same plus extra. What are you having for breakfast ? Make him the same. My parents fostered teens they want to feel at home and you really do not need special food prior to move in. Once he is there if he eats well no issue (maybe ask for a favorite to add in) if he is not eating well ask him what he would like to eat and add what you would like. I have the worlds pickiest teen he is not hard to get full just to find what he wants, and his likes are different from everything listed. He would not eat pizza or tacos or frozen meals.

Clothing if he has nothing it is harder if he can go shopping I would go to ross marshals etc and if you have a factory to u type store. I would try for enough pants for a week and shirts for 8-9 days then watch for sales knowing his style. shoes outlet if available but he will likely be good with 1 pair to start.

 

[sk!mom]

I would also focus on healthier food options. Just plan healthy meals and make plenty- Spaghetti with bread and a big salad, Taco night, Burgers, Homemade pizza.

Snacks- I would buy plenty of fresh fruit. I keep apples and bananas in a bowl on the kitchen table and a bowl of washed grapes sitting on a shelf in the fridge. If he likes peanut butter- stock up on whole grain bread and peanut butter.

Clothes and such- If possible, I would wait and take him shopping. I would spend on a good pair of tennis shoes and nice jeans. Then hit Old Navy or Target for some tshirts, socks, underwear.

God Bless you for doing this!

 

[crisi]

I don't know if I could afford to feed my son on just healthy options Junk food is cheap.

Right now my son is in an egg stage - last week it was two dozen eggs - fried or scrambled. That's been one of the healthier options. He knows how to cook at least the little stuff, like eggs or Mac N Cheese. Tortilla pizzas were big for a while - throw a tortilla on a pan and put down sauce and mozzerlla. I buy cheap frozen pizzas and fish. There was a nachos phase that involved big bags of Kirkland tortilla strips, big bags of Kirkland cheese, avacados, garlic, lemon juice and salt. (Or the big boxes of individual guac costco sells). The smoothie stage was healthy, but expensive and the blender didn't get cleaned out, so I stopped the smoothie stage. He likes Target's chicken nuggets. There was a sandwich phase. He'll get stuck on something and that will be that - until something else. There have been phases I'm not thrilled about (I'm not a huge fan of ramen - its cheap, but zero nutritional value), but they've passed. But he's really independent and feeds himself when hungry (he's also active and skinny).

He isn't a fruit eater - my daughter is and she can go through an entire box of Clemintines in an afternoon. He'll eat vegetables put in front of him for dinner (he likes most of them) but doesn't eat them as snacks. He isn't a big cheese eater (my husband is the cheese snacker). We are not a cereal for meals house, but a LOT of households with teenagers do a lot of cereal meals and snacks.

I'd make sure you have tortilla chips and salsa and frozen pizza in the house when he arrives, then talk to him about what he like to eat and what your household rules are for eating. In our house, its rare for us with teens to have time when everyone is home for meals - my daughter gets home from play practice around five, my husband will work until 7, my son needs to be at baseball by 7.....so there are lots of nights where everyone fends for themselves - its expected that you can feed yourself as a teenager (or adult) but you should check in around dinner time to make sure you aren't fixing yourself an entire box of mac and cheese an hour before Mom will set pork chops on the table because everyone looks like they might be home tonight. For a family that does family meals together (and with the one teen in the house being a foster teen, I suspect you won't be activity burdened and you'll want the family meals) that sort of independent meal eating wouldn't be a good idea.

 

[SEA333]

We're foster parents for ages 0-3. We have a newborn baby right now and thought that was it. Isn't it interesting how God has different plans for our lives?!

We are likely getting an older teenage boy next week! We'll suddenly have a teen and a newborn!

He'll need everything--shoes, backpack, clothes, wallet, personal effects, etc. He's coming from a rough situation.

How do I prioritize? What do I buy at Sam's for him to eat? How do you keep a teenage boy full? How can I do all of this without breaking the bank?

I went to add him to our family camp reservation and it was $650 for the week at camp!! I'm starting to fear how much this will all cost but I want to provide a home for him!

First of all, I thank you for opening your home to a child in need. Teens are still children and need loving homes, even if it is for a short while. You have to opportunity to make a HUGE difference in this child's life

OK, so I have a (almost) 14 year old. He does not eat that much, and we never buy junky frozen food. He is already 5'9" and has actually lost weight in the past year as he has gotten taller, AND he is a football player, so if I can manage his food intake, I know it is not impossible!!! LOL

Yes, my DS likes pizza, burgers, potatos, chips, etc, but he REALLY loves cereal (lots of milk!), fruit, some veggies, and homecooked meals like pot roast, chicken, pasta, etc.

He is also more of a comfort/sporty kid, so he refuses to wear the Abercrombie and Hollister clothes we got him for Christmas, instead opting for Addias, Nike, and Under Armor. He hates jeans (although I have gotten the OK by him to bring him shopping for jeans after almost 5 years of not wearing them!), opting for the more comfortable athletic pants.

My nephew on the other hand, is a fashion man-diva LOL, and will not be caught dead without his designer clothing. I had his name for Christmas and he actually asked me for a pair of Sperry shoes. I even had to look those up online to make sure I knew exactly what he was talking about! LOL

We often host sleepovers for DH's friends, and I have found that most of his friends are happy with a pizza, some chips, even cut up fruit and veggies, and Arnold Palmer tea (my kids call it "Old Man Golfing Tea")

I certainly do not double my grocery budget now that there is a teen in the house - if it is only you, DH, and an infant, you will see your grocery bill go up, but I would not think it would DOUBLE!!

 

[Gracefulskinny]

In commenting about this thread to DH he raised a few very good suggestions...

Make sure he gets deodorant and soap. If he is coming from a rough situation he may not have had the proper counseling on body maintenance that all teen boys struggle with.

As far as meals go I vote start with your normal basics and go from there. If you need meal ideas I have a great taco salad recipie that is stupid easy and very filling.

Just brown 1-2lbs ground meat (I like to us sirloin or bison to be healthier) and then add 1 can of corn, 1 can of black beans and 1 can rotel. Add a splash of water your favorite taco seasoning (I do my own from scratch). Simmer for 5-10 minutes on low.

In a microwave safe bowl combine 1.5lbs of cubed white american (get this from your deli counter and avoid the Velveeta. Quality makes a difference) with milk (the fatter the creamier it will be but you can use any milk just fine)

Microwave this for 2-3 mintue bursts at half power stopping to stir between bursts. This will make great queso.

When ready to serve just add crushed chips and lettuce. This is filling enough to keep even the hungriest teen boy full!


As for clothes, its consignment sale season so keep a lookout in your area for some good ones. Consignmentmommies.com has a good state by state list of sales in your area.


good luck!

 

[powellrj]

My oldest DS was almost 14 when is sister was born. Believe it or not, its actually a wonderful age difference! They are now 31 and 17 and they are best friends! They both get along better with each other than either of them get alone with their brother and he is 23!

I would only buy basic things now and wait until he is actually with you to buy clothes and food. Sock and underwear, a couple pair of jeans and maybe a few shirts to get him started. Sometimes kids are picky about how clothes fit at that age. Just because you may know the size, it may not fit comfortably. You will also need some personal items like AXE, I boys loved that stuff at that age!!!

For now, I would have some basic fruit like apples, bananas, grapes, some veggies like carrots and celery, bread with lunch meat and peanut butter. I always have cereal and simple frozen food too. Frozen pizza, burritos, pizza rolls and ice cream.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I have some experience with teen boy eaters and foster care, though never had a teen foster care child in my home.

Some teen boys eat a ton, and some don't. Teen foster kids may come to you with a huge variety of backgrounds in eating habits. He may have been truly hungry at times, and he may have eaten very poor quality of food other times. Many kids from dysfunctional families view food very differently. They sometimes will steal and hoard food to be sure they are not going to be hungry. They may use food as a control tool and their attitude about life and the world in general my also be seen in their reaction to food. If the child is from a different ethnic background from yours, that may also be a factor.

With any foster child, you have to be sure to help them fit into your home, not totally readjust your home for them. I would not buy a lot of junk food unless this is the way your family normally eats. I would think about how you want food to be handled in your home. If you are fine with him eating whenever he is hungry, stock your kitchen with easy foods that he can fix if he is hungry; cereals and milk, fruit, bagels, sandwich fixins, etc. Assure him over and over, there will always be food in your house.

for clothes, that is tough. He may be the type child to wear jeans or all sweat pants. I would be sure that he has some sleep plants, underwear and socks and maybe a pair of jean for that first day til you can access the situation and then take him to buy a few things.

Money is always a concern with new foster kids. Sometimes your money for the children is not given to you right away but most of the times there are other resources. Often vouchers for local stores are available as well as other groups that stock things like socks, underwear, school supplies, and used clothing. Our agency also has bed clothing and sometimes backpacks. Ask what may be available.

Prayers for you during this journey and thank-you for being willing to take a teen. They can be sooo much harder but soooo rewarding.

 

[Chelley00]

stock your kitchen with easy foods that he can fix if he is hungry; cereals and milk, fruit, bagels, sandwich fixins, etc.

This! Our teens would eat the same meals with us, but they seem to snack a lot (or eat an extra meal or two depending if it was sports season!) I always make sure to have easy things around: cereals, granola or cereal bars, protein bars, bread/ pb&j/lunchmeat & cheese for sandwiches, fruit and veggies that I've washed cut so they can grab and go, nuts. We always have apples/pears and bananas out in plain sight. A couple of nights ago I came downstairs at midnight and DS18 was eating waffles. Last night it was cheese sticks.

My boys are now really into the protein packs found by the Lunchables in the fridge section that have meat/cheese/nuts together. Sometimes I stock microwavable mac n cheese, chef boyardee, soup at hand etc. They love hot pockets and pizza rolls but I try not to buy them often.

Good luck! Teens are fun and frustrating, sometimes in the same minute but good for you for being willing to open your home to someone who needs someone.

 

[sookie]

Thank you for taking a teenage foster child. They are the hardest to place but many times the most rewarding. They often have a lot of "walls" to break through, but they are worth it. I love working with teens and foster families are my favorite. Families that give of themselves are the best.

 

[DisneyWalle]

My 14 yr old doesn't eat a lot unless he is working outside on the farm with us. Now, if he works outside then he can eat the world.

Fruit and vegetables are always available at the house for snacks: apples, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, cantaloupe, bell pepper, broccoli, mushrooms, edamame and spinach; these are his favorites. He isn't a big breakfast eater and I have tried for years to fix this but nothing works. However, he will eat waffles and grits occasionally. He enjoys different sandwiches for lunches, so I keep peanut butter, roast beef and turkey stocked. He does like pistachios and beef jerky which I will get for him from time to time. For dinners, he eats what I cook. Once a week, I make a dessert item that we all enjoy.

We don't keep chips or other junk food items in the house, unless its for special occasions like football season or a family get-together. Luckily, he has never liked heavily processed foods such as: pizza rolls, frozen dinners, lunchables, canned soups. So he has relatively good eating habits -- much better than my own, I must admit.

One exception, he does love pizza but what teen doesn't. He enjoys making his own rather than buying them -- so this might be an option for your new teen. My DS loves meat so he piles bacon, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, peppers and onions on pizza dough and cooks it his way.

I purchase a lot of my DS's clothes from Kohls. With their sale events and coupons its possible to get lots of clothes and shoes with little money. And I second the Axe body products --- DS loves the deodorants, shampoos and body sprays.

Good luck! I wish you and your growing family all the best. Just remember to take things slow and enjoy this new adventure. Teenagers are interesting little creatures not sure I understand mine all the time but I love him with all of my heart.

 

[texaslady22]

Thanks for all the advice!

He comes this Wednesday and we're just so excited to get him here!!!

 

[Mrs.Malone]

My friend's teenage foster son had subsisted on McDonald's dollar menu double cheeseburgers and cokes for a long time. So when he came to foster care, he craved home cooked meals. He was also very conscious of his weight and wanted to trim down and get healthier. Not every teen is going to want all the frozen chimichangas and pizzas. Best to stock up on a variety of things and then find out what he likes best.
Congratulations, and thank you for helping children and families in their time of need.