Stupid Mother's Day!

[Ember]

I have discovered the down side to teaching elementary school. I am trying to plan for our Mother's Day and cards and I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. I don't want to cheerfully create celebrations for a day that as of less than two months ago no longer applies to me. I don't have a mother anymore.

I will get over it, suck it up, and smile at school. Because that's my job and those kids deserve it. But, man, does this suck.

 

[LuvBug1977]

So sorry for your loss. My father passed away in October and I am not looking forward to June... father's day and his birthday. Hang in there. I know those little ones appreciate your love and dedication to them!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

But it does apply to you. You took beautiful care of your Mother and can honor her memory and the dignity your care provided to her.

Light a candle for your Mother on that day, or create a new tradition that you enact each year to honor her. You will always be her child, regardless of where her body is.

The tears are expected, eh?

 

[nskjerven]

yes it does suck and it's always gonna suck - but time makes one able to reflect on the good times. I know when I heard this 4+ years ago upon the death of my dad I didn't believe it would happen - the pain was too deep and fresh. It has happened in bits and pieces for me since then. I do make an effort *not* to be around people when I'm feeling low and missing him - it's hard to express to others this loss is something that is felt so differently by each person.

I'll think of you and your mom on mothers day and say a prayer for you both

 

[luvmy3]

 

[Darsa]

Believe me Ember, I can totally relate. I'm dreading the day; I'm not a teacher, I don't think I could handle it if I was. Hang in there; remember the good things and get through the day, that's my plan. I also plan to take my dad out to brunch, and get him a bouquet of flowers; I imagine it will be more painful for him than it will be for us kids...

 

[charming23]

Hang in there Ember. Having lost my dad last June a week after father's day I have the same feelings that you have towards mother's day to father's day.

I like one if the PP suggestions to light a candle or create a new tradition as that is what we are planning.

 

[minniecarousel]

That's a tough one. You sound like you'll come through for your students, but - yeah, it sucks!

 

[TinkerBean]

I know how you feel. I lost my mom seven years ago in july. Her birthday is May 13th and sometimes falls on Mother's Day. It's bittersweet for me because my kids always want to make it so special for me - yet I am so sad inside.

to you - I started a journal that I write *to* my mom on special days it helps me deal a little bit. Start your own tradition...

 

[bumbershoot]

Ember I'm so sorry. It's such a hard time, I've been there too. 10 years ago I was busy answering phone calls at amazon.com, helping people who were freaking out because their Mother's Day gifts might be late... It's SO hard.

I don't know if it's at all allowed, but do you think it would be possible to have a sub for this? On the day the crafts are actually made or when you have your celebration? Or perhaps have an assistant of some sort who might take over for you if you need to get out of the room quickly? I mean, it's one thing when I cry in front of my son; he knows death exists after losing his grandpa at 2.5, and never having known my mom...but it would be another to explain to a bunch of little students things they might not have thought of quite yet.

Or if the mothers are going to be there during your celebration, maybe it might give you solace to know that you're likely in the same rotten club that some of them are...and you might all be having the same bittersweet thoughts...

 

[WDWAurora]

I don't care for the day, either. Between struggling with infertility for years and having a mother who isn't even 60 yet who doesn't recognize me (dementia) I'm not a huge fan. I normally skip church on Mother's day because a lot of churches do baby dedications that day, and typically I bawl through those. I will actually be a mother by Mother's day this year, and I still want nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, DH doesn't get that, so we'll see how I do...

 

[Tuffcookie]

Mother's Day is certainly different now for those of us who have lost their moms.

I still feel like I want to honor her when Mother's Day rolls around. Does that seem strange?

I visit the cemetary and place flowers on her grave.

for all us in the same boat.

TC

 

[MIGrandma]

It will be difficult for you, I know.

I feel the same way about Father's Day, as my Dad passed away 2 years ago.

 

[teskak]

Having lost both parents I can relate - it hurts, and it is the first 'special' day that you will have to cross for this year.

Tell me, are you aware if any of the children in your class are facing similar challenges? Maybe use them as your focus to get through the prep days

 

[Ember]

Thanks, all. Again.

I've never celebrated Father's Day so that one never bothers me. (I have a father, he just left when I was two and I only speak to him every couple of years.) But this is hard. Harder than I would have thought. The stores are all decked out with reminders about Mother's Day, the radio keeps having commercials for Mother's Day brunches while I'm driving. And the tv keeps cruelly playing Mother's Day commercials. I'm utterly amazed that something I had never really noticed before has now become this form of torture...

I have a TA in my room and I've already asked her to read our Mother's Day books when the time comes, and to step in if I look like I'm going to loose it during out writing. She's great and I think when the time comes I'll be okay.

But I will be very, very glad when Mother's Day is over this year. I like the idea of finding a way to mark the day somehow, so I think I'll try to think of something that will bring a little peace to my heart.

 

[dislaney]

I think it's a great idea to try and find a way to honor your mother in some way that is meaningful to you.

 

[katiebelle21]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have another teacher at your grade level that you are close to? Maybe you could do a "class swap." Take her class and do an activity (non-Mother's Day related) while she does the Mother's Day activities for your class.

 

[Robinrs]

The first one is VERY hard, I know. My girlfriend lost her Mom ON Mother's Day and she will not accept a "happy Mother's day" from anyone.

It's a hard day for all of us "orphans", to all of us and especially you, Ember... since it's so fresh.