Strongest evidence yet against spanking

[MrsPete]

Well, I'm close to finishing my 8th year working with small kids and I firmly contend that I have seen a direct correlation between kids who are spanked and those who aren't. I'm not saying that every child who is spanked becomes violent. But the two we currently have and several we've had in the past are very quick to hit when they don't get their way. Those are the kids whose parents told us they spank them. Granted, these kids do have behavioral problems but being spanked may well be causing them to turn around and hit us. They're being taught that if they don't like something that someone does or say, they should hit them.

Children from homes with problems, children who have behavioral issues aren't the same as children who've been raised in loving homes. You can't compare the two and make any comparisons. It's like saying that my healthy child shouldn't have a Coke because it's bad for a diabetic child.

 

[dis-happy]

This researcher lost my respect in the very first sentence, when he used the emotionally charged word "hit" rather than the realistic word "spanked". When the researcher begins with this bias, it's no surprise that the results will fall in the direction he expected.

Yup. You think there isn't an agenda there?????

 

[MrsPete]

exactly!!

Have you ever seen a child getting spanked? It is the parent who gets angry and takes it out on a child. It is a parent at the end of their rope who cannot discipline effectively.

Always, huh? From personal experience on both the giving and receiving end, I disagree.

 

[MrsPete]

When a child KNOWS they are loved by their parents it gives them a buffer to all the things we do wrong, which we all will no matter if we spank or not. I think that is why there is a lot of different outcomes of spanked and not spanked. If you weren't spanked but ignored by your parents you'll have issues. If you were spanked and had a loving relationship with your parents you would be fine.

I grew up with a severly alcoholic father. I've been asked why me and my siblings all turned out okay. I think it's because we all knew my dad loved us. There was never any doubt about that, never ever! Having the knowledge that we are a wanted and loved child goes a looong way. So, to me the issue isn't if we spank or not but do our children KNOW they are loved unconditionally by you?

Good point. It's impossible to say that children who are spanked (or not spanked) will turn out well (or poorly). How many other factors enter into a person's childhood? Tens of thousands, certainly. ALL OF THESE COMBINED funnel into the person that the child will grow up to be.

 

[princessmom29]

exactly!!

Have you ever seen a child getting spanked? It is the parent who gets angry and takes it out on a child. It is a parent at the end of their rope who cannot discipline effectively.

Not when my parents spanked me and definitely not when I spank DD. NEVER, EVER spank in anger is my motto.

 

[luvsJack]

Well, I'm close to finishing my 8th year working with small kids and I firmly contend that I have seen a direct correlation between kids who are spanked and those who aren't. I'm not saying that every child who is spanked becomes violent. But the two we currently have and several we've had in the past are very quick to hit when they don't get their way. Those are the kids whose parents told us they spank them. Granted, these kids do have behavioral problems but being spanked may well be causing them to turn around and hit us. They're being taught that if they don't like something that someone does or say, they should hit them.

I can't speak for the children you worked with, but I worked with children ages 6 weeks - 6 years for 12 years. We could not and would not spank the children in our care (although I do believe in spanking my own children, spanking in a child care center is against the law here) but most parents would speak up if they spanked their children at home because they would tell us to spank them (although we did not). I never saw any connection between a child that is spanked (again: that is SPANKED not hit, abused or beaten) and the child being violent.

In that 12 years, we had several children with behavioral problems. FEW were the children who were spanked at home. Some were diagnosed with some type of disorder or another at a later age; such as ADHD. One was abused before coming to his adoptive parents, one had psychological problems. I saw a much bigger connection with children of divorce having behavioral problems than I ever saw from spanking. Almost all of our children with behavioral problems were in one parent homes.

 

[luvsJack]

exactly!!

Have you ever seen a child getting spanked? It is the parent who gets angry and takes it out on a child. It is a parent at the end of their rope who cannot discipline effectively.

Nope. Wrong again. I NEVER spanked my children out of anger. I NEVER hand out any punishment while angry. I will send my children to their room or I will go to mine first. When all is calm, then and only then will I discipline my children.

 

[princessmom29]

I can't speak for the children you worked with, but I worked with children ages 6 weeks - 6 years for 12 years. We could not and would not spank the children in our care (although I do believe in spanking my own children, spanking in a child care center is against the law here) but most parents would speak up if they spanked their children at home because they would tell us to spank them (although we did not). I never saw any connection between a child that is spanked (again: that is SPANKED not hit, abused or beaten) and the child being violent.

In that 12 years, we had several children with behavioral problems. FEW were the children who were spanked at home. Some were diagnosed with some type of disorder or another at a later age; such as ADHD. One was abused before coming to his adoptive parents, one had psychological problems. I saw a much bigger connection with children of divorce having behavioral problems than I ever saw from spanking. Almost all of our children with behavioral problems were in one parent homes.

ditto. Never saw a connection either. I taught preschool through college, and if anything the children from homes where spanking, not hitting, was used tended to listen and mind the first time. The children most likely to act out were those whose parents didn't discipline conssitently in any form. The form of discipline didn't matter as much as how consistently it was applied.

 

[OceanAnnie]

ditto. Never saw a connection either. I taught preschool through college, and if anything the children from homes where spanking, not hitting, was used tended to listen and mind the first time. The children most likely to act out were those whose parents didn't discipline conssitently in any form. The form of discipline didn't matter as much as how consistently it was applied.

Yes. I noticed this as well.

 

[iwrbnd]

This researcher lost my respect in the very first sentence, when he used the emotionally charged word "hit" rather than the realistic word "spanked". When the researcher begins with this bias, it's no surprise that the results will fall in the direction he expected.

Nice catch!

 

[kellyw8863]

According to dictionary.com -

Hit - to deal a blow or strike to
Spank - to strike with an open hand esp. on the buttocks

According to the definitions provided, all spanking is hitting, though all hitting is not necessarily spanking. So perhaps the connotative meaning of the word "hit" evokes stronger emotions than "spank," but you can't deny that they are mutually inclusive. It is what it is.

 

[freckles and boo]

This researcher lost my respect in the very first sentence, when he used the emotionally charged word "hit" rather than the realistic word "spanked".

I am still waiting for someone to explain to me how to spank a child without hitting a child. I suppose for most it is a matter of degree. You only HIT them on the behind. You only HIT them with your hand. You only HIT them when calm and not angry. You only HIT them to get their attention. You only HIT them gently enough that it doesn't hurt. You only HIT them because you feel it is appropriate discipline. If you prefer the more socially acceptable work SPANK that is fine but you have to acknowledge that it is indeed HITTING a child. Personally, I don't think most people are permanently damaged by having been spanked but the hypocrisy is too much for me and I won't spank my kids. I cannot expect them not to hit others and say "but it is okay for me to hit you". Do what you want with your kids.

 

[MissMet]

My questions is...

Are these the same "researchers" who did the "studies" on Y2K, H1N1, the world ending in 2012, global warming, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc???

I agree with the PPs- there's a BIG difference between spanking & beating. Proper spanking is never done in anger.

 

[kellyw8863]

The idea of hitting a child when not angry makes even less sense to me. I can see doing it out of sheer frustration - I've been at that point, and I've even said to my daughter, "It's a good thing I don't spank!" But to do it when totally calm?

 

[Anjelica]

Nope. Wrong again. I NEVER spanked my children out of anger. I NEVER hand out any punishment while angry. I will send my children to their room or I will go to mine first. When all is calm, then and only then will I discipline my children.

AGREED!!! Heck I can't count the times my mother would send us to our room to wait for dad to get home to get our spankings. We were never spanked out of anger.

Funny thing was I remember thinking I was smarter than our parents because after sending us to our room to "think" about what we did wrong and to get our due punishment I would subsequently "beef" up the bottom area with extra pairs of underwear..

 

[MissMet]

AGREED!!! Heck I can't count the times my mother would send us to our room to wait for dad to get home to get our spankings. We were never spanked out of anger.

Funny thing was I remember thinking I was smarter than our parents because after sending us to our room to "think" about what we did wrong and to get our due punishment I would subsequently "beef" up the bottom area with extra pairs of underwear..

Yeeesssss!!!

We did the exact same thing in our house... load up the underwear then add jeans.

 

[sparklynails23]

Dumb statistic. If the aggressive kids are more likely to be spanked, then they'll be spanked more at 3 and 5. And how do you measure "aggression?" It's very subjective. Dumb study. Must have been a slow "news" day.

 

[luvsJack]

The idea of hitting a child when not angry makes even less sense to me. I can see doing it out of sheer frustration - I've been at that point, and I've even said to my daughter, "It's a good thing I don't spank!" But to do it when totally calm?

As I said, I don't dole out any kind of punishment when angry. I made that the rule when I realized I was saying things like "you are grounded until your forty" or some such. Its too easy to give a punishment without thinking it through and giving something that just is not going to work, is too much or is unreasonable for the actual crime. I see spanking as no different than any other punishment and as such, it fell under my rule of no punishments when angry.

As has been said over and over, I was not hitting my kids, slapping my kids or beating my kids. They got 3 or 4 swats on the butt. They knew ahead of time it was coming and they knew why. And they know they are loved above all.

And as other have said, probably were well prepared for it with all the layers of underwear.



ETA: I used this same rule as a preschool teacher/child caregiver. We didn't spank but used time out, rewards, and other discipline techniques. BUT, if a child did something that made their teacher/caregiver angry either the child or the teacher was removed from the classroom/area until the teacher/caregiver was no longer angry; then she could talk to the child and use whatever techniques was appropriate--usually only took, at the most, 2 minutes but helped a lot.

 

[jodifla]

As I said, I don't dole out any kind of punishment when angry. I made that the rule when I realized I was saying things like "you are grounded until your forty" or some such. Its too easy to give a punishment without thinking it through and giving something that just is not going to work, is too much or is unreasonable for the actual crime. I see spanking as no different than any other punishment and as such, it fell under my rule of no punishments when angry.

As has been said over and over, I was not hitting my kids, slapping my kids or beating my kids. They got 3 or 4 swats on the butt. They knew ahead of time it was coming and they knew why. And they know they are loved above all.

And as other have said, probably were well prepared for it with all the layers of underwear.








ETA: I used this same rule as a preschool teacher/child caregiver. We didn't spank but used time out, rewards, and other discipline techniques. BUT, if a child did something that made their teacher/caregiver angry either the child or the teacher was removed from the classroom/area until the teacher/caregiver was no longer angry; then she could talk to the child and use whatever techniques was appropriate--usually only took, at the most, 2 minutes but helped a lot.

Again, can't see the point of what this does. What does it teach anybody? And why not use the techniques you use in preschool?

 

[AshleyW]

Again, can't see the point of what this does. What does it teach anybody? And why not use the techniques you use in preschool?

I can't speak for anyone else, but it taught me that there are serious consequences to doing the wrong thing, and that I needed to show some respect to my parents. If I did something that warranted getting spanked, I knew I did something BAD. If they put me in time out.. whoop-de-doo. I could sit in time out and sing to myself, or daydream, etc. Who knows, maybe some kids are different, and when their parents tell them to sit on their bed and think about what they did - maybe they actually sit there and do that. But I know when I was put in time out, or told to think about what I did wrong.. it wasn't a punishment at all.