"strong possibility he has Asperger's, definite signs of ADD"

[Disney1fan2002]

I feel like the I am on the Tea Cups and I can't get off.

My Ds who is 9, has always been 'unique'. As he gets older, we are becoming more aware that he is just not fitting in. He has no concept of social behavior. Everything is all about him. I have been talking to his teachers, and now that I have opened the box, by mentioning my concerns that it could be AS, every adult he has had contact with in that school since he started there last year, has said they thought he fell on the autism spectrum, and Aspergers is what makes sense. Well, the school psychologist went even further and mentioned ADD. Now that is new.

I am trying to take it one step at a time. As relieved as I will be once he has an official diagnosis, I am scared. I have always been one tobe able to stand outside the box, and watch the "medicate" don't medicate' debate. Never really knew which side I would take, if I ever had to be in that situation. But, thinking of my baby popping a pill to make his brain better, it feels like someone in punching me in the stomach. I am not even saying it would reach that point, but I can't even think about it getting that far, and I feel ill.

My 2 nephew's are ADD and ADHD, and they both were medicated.(15 years ago) I remember how my SIL said it was a world of difference.

If you are a parent to one of these kids, my heart goes out to you. I am hoping to get an appointment with a nuero-psych at NE Medical Center in Boston. I will at least feel he is getting A++ care.

 

[TEENEE]

It's difficult to watch our kids struggle. My dd has ADD so I can relate to your feelings. Just take things one step at a time. It sounds like you are open minded, which will help in making a diagnosis and dealing with what you are handed. Hang in there, you and your son will be fine.

 

[missypie]

My son was in 4th grade when he was diagnosed: mild Asperger's, very ADD. It was a relief to have a diagnosis...everything about him made a lot more sense. We had always said that DS had a very "unique" brain. Once we read and understood him better, life improved.

For example, with lots of AS kids, the rule is "what is begun must be completed." That explained why he flipped out when we walked over and turned off the TV in the middle of a show or even a commercial. We started preparing him...."in 10 minutes we'll have to leave for soccer, so you won't be able to finish watching this show." And unless the house is on fire, you can always wait until a commercial is over to turn off the TV.

Read all you can. There is lots of info online. (Just google Aspergers.) Is your son able to explain how he feels? Occasionally my DS can. He says that his thoughts are all "jittery." We do medicate him, and it helps a lot. Everyone in the house can tell if DS skips his pills. If he doesn't get his homework done by the time his pills wear off, it takes 3 times as long.

Good luck to you and your son!!! Aspies can actually be quite enjoyable....the ride may be a roller coaster, but it can be pretty fun!

 

[Tuffcookie]

Marie, I, too, have an Aspie! He was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. (He is 13, almost 14) Knowing this, I am in a much better position to be his advocate. I am surprised that not many of the teachers at his middle school knew that much about AS so I copied alot of the educational information on the O.A.S.I.S. web site. It was also suggested that DS may have ADD, in addition to the AS, which is a fairly common combination. However, we have opted to try without medication. He does suffer from anxiety at bed time so we use Melatonin for that. Hugs to you!

TC

 

[missypie]

Marie, I, too, have an Aspie! He was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. (He is 13, almost 14) Knowing this, I am in a much better position to be his advocate. I am surprised that not many of the teachers at his middle school knew that much about AS so I copied alot of the educational information on the O.A.S.I.S. web site. It was also suggested that DS may have ADD, in additon to the AS, which is a fairly common combination. However, we have opted to try without medication. He does suffer from anxiety as bed time so we use Melatonin for that. Hugs to you!

TC

Great minds think alike! Every year of middle school, I compiled a notebook of articles about AS to give to DS's teachers.

I was a special ed major in a nationally noted college special ed program, back in the late 70s. At the time, they taught almost nothing about autism and of course, Asperger's Syndrome was unknown (at least by name) in the US. I figure if a teacher is my age, she has the same lack of knowledge that I did.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Marie, I, too, have an Aspie! He was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago. (He is 13, almost 14) Knowing this, I am in a much better position to be his advocate. I am surprised that not many of the teachers at his middle school knew that much about AS so I copied alot of the educational information on the O.A.S.I.S. web site. It was also suggested that DS may have ADD, in additon to the AS, which is a fairly common combination. However, we have opted to try without medication. He does suffer from anxiety as bed time so we use Melatonin for that. Hugs to you!

TC

Oh the bedtime anxiety! He is not sleeping well. He wants to sleep in with his sister, or in the family room. He hates going to sleep in his rooms. He wakes up with nightmares. Can't go back to sleep.

He is under the care of a psychologist for anxiety, and it just seems to go from one thing to the next. Or it could be, he has suffered all along, and is finally talking about it.

 

[missypie]

Oh the bedtime anxiety! He is not sleeping well. He wants to sleep in with his sister, or in the family room. He hates going to sleep in his rooms. He wakes up with nightmares. Can't go back to sleep.

He is under the care of a psychologist for anxiety, and it just seems to go from one thing to the next. Or it could be, he has suffered all along, and is finally talking about it.

The anxiety is quite easy to understand. I get the idea that DS is rarely "oriented" but lives most of his life in a disoriented state. Think of how you feel when you fly into a different city and pick up a rental car and then get on the road and have to figure out how to get to your destination. Or when you travel abroad and are trying to find your way around. I think that's how these kids feel most of the time.

 

[graygables]

to you from another Asperger's and ADHD mom! My DD3 (9yo) is Asperger's and, before I knew better, I tried the drug approach with her. It was a horrible time and I was so glad when it was all out of her system. Quite frankly, the meds don't do much for the Asperger's side of things and many ADHD tendencies are actually part of the ASD and not truly ADHD at all. My 7yo DD, OTOH, is a poster child for ADHD, but for now, we have decided to leave her unmedicated and try some more occupational therapy approaches. My take on the meds is that I would prefer her to find her own coping mechanisms b/c there may come a time that she *can't* take the meds for one reason or another and then having been so dependent on them, won't be able to function without.

There are more and more resources available now. My ASD DD is getting ready to begin a social skills group. She is currently attending a "cursive camp" at our OT, where she is learning cursive, but also gaining social skills. The OT was able to give me ideas for her and also for ADHD DD. We e-school (public school, but at home), so I'm the one who has to keep them settled. They have putty with beads in it which helps organize focus and concentration as well as uses fine motor skills. ADHD DD has a "weight" (Build a Bear stuffed w/ rice) to hold on her lap that helps her sit still a little better. We've also used an exercise ball in place of the desk chair and that has been helpful.

We had suspected 9yo DD had a problem from about 2 yrs on when she developed selective mutism, but she wasn't officially dxed until last year. Even though I was very confident what it was, hearing it from the neurologist felt very much like a punch in the stomach and I sat there and cried (very uncharacteristic for me in a situation like that) It was as though part of me was still holding on to the idea that she would be "normal" and I finally had to let that go. There is an essay called (I think) A Trip to Holland or something like that, that goes into what it's like when you have a special needs child. I'll try to find it for you b/c it really does help me.

More and pixie dust coming your way! If it's any consolation, we now believe my Dad is Asperger's, also, and he's the smartest, kindest man I've ever known. He was an officer in the Army until he retired, went to work for American Airlines and retired from there only to go be a college professor, where he works now. He is highly respected and successful in his field. He says, for him, it was a positive thing and it's all what you make of it.

 

[Tuffcookie]

Missypie, And I have been so blessed to find the teachers and administrators at DS's school are very supportive to receiving this information! Right now DS is in a special program called "Quest", where he spends most of the day with 1 teacher and the classroom size is 15! And, yes, this is public school! He mainstreams into language arts, and band, art, & physical ed. I can be sitting at my desk at work and an e-mail will come from his teacher letting me know his homework (DS is terrible about bringing a planner home) and letting me know how he's doing that day.

TC

 

[Bashful2]

My DD doesn't suffer from Asperger's, but she's got ADHD, OCD & Bipolar disorder. It has been a roller coaster ride for the past several years so I know some of the things you must be feeling.

I know it's scary, but half the battle is knowing what the problem is. At least then you know what to treat. We've had to use a combination of therapy and medication with DD.

The only advice I can give is to find a good professional who you have faith in and take care of your own physical and emotional health.

 

[missypie]

Missypie, And I have been so blessed to find the teachers and administrators at DS's school are very supportive to receiving this information! Right now DS is in a special program called "Quest", where he spends most of the day with 1 teacher and the classroom size is 15! And, yes, this is public school! He mainstreams into language arts, and band, art, & physical ed. I can be sitting at my desk at work and an e-mail will come from his teacher letting me know his homework (DS is terrible about bringing a planner home) and letting me know how he's doing that day.

TC

It would be heaven if DS's teachers did that!!! That has been one of our big issues since 4th grade.

DS is in the gifted and talented program, which makes it very hard for the school district and teachers to understand that he needs special help. Sure, he can pass a test that he didn't know he was having, but he could get an A if we'd all known the test was coming up.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Missypie, And I have been so blessed to find the teachers and administrators at DS's school are very supportive to receiving this information! Right now DS is in a special program called "Quest", where he spends most of the day with 1 teacher and the classroom size is 15! And, yes, this is public school! He mainstreams into language arts, and band, art, & physical ed. I can be sitting at my desk at work and an e-mail will come from his teacher letting me know his homework (DS is terrible about bringing a planner home) and letting me know how he's doing that day.

TC

His teacher has begun to write his homework assignments in his agenda book for him. Last week, he had written he had his math page to do. I asked him if that was all he had. He replied 'Well, that is all that is written in my agenda book, so I guess it is all I have." RED FLAG. That was not the appropriate way to answer the question. So, I ask him if he had spelling. Instead if him saying, no, he said, it's not in my agenda book, is it? I reminded him that is was a Monday, and he usually has spelling work in Monday's. He then told me he erased the spelling out of his book. AARRRRGGGH. He truly feels if it is not written down, he does not have to do it.