Strange WWYD...or not...

[wvjules]

So I'm having lunch with DD today and she tell me about a facebook message she received. It was along the lines of "I saw your picture when I was vaccuuming your mom's office. I think I was a senior at XHS when you were a freshman." She did not respond and there has been no other contact.

My co-workers and I all find it creepy and think it crosses some lines. (Typing it out makes it sound a lot less creepy lol) The cleaning people are mostly comprised of mentally challenged people so that might influence your WWYD. That being said, WWYD?

ETA: One of her senior pictures has her name on it so that's how he got her name.

 

[clutter]

Password protect your computer so it sleeps if you're away for more than a couple minutes.

But speaking from a property management point of view, I would definitely let your office/facilities manager know that your cleaning service is crossing lines. (I complained today about ours. They are not supposed to touch our desks, but I'm constantly finding my desk re-arranged.)

 

[wvjules]

Password protect your computer so it sleeps if you're away for more than a couple minutes.

The message wan't sent from my computer.

 

[Kogo Shuko]

I suppose the question is: did he sound creepy or did he sound lonely?

For some, it is hard to make friends, and they find it easier to reach out via the internet rather than in real life.

Personally, I'm very weary of people contacting me via Facebook when they don't know me. But if the guy is genuinely just looking to chat with someone, I guess I'd feel more bad for him than creeped out?

I doubt I'd reply to him on FB. She can easily block him so he can't send her anymore messages.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So I'm having lunch with DD today and she tell me about a facebook message she received. It was along the lines of "I saw your picture when I was vaccuuming your mom's office. I think I was a senior at XHS when you were a freshman." She did not respond and there has been no other contact.

My co-workers and I all find it creepy and think it crosses some lines. (Typing it out makes it sound a lot less creepy lol) The cleaning people are mostly comprised of mentally challenged people so that might influence your WWYD. That being said, WWYD?

ETA: One of her senior pictures has her name on it so that's how he got her name.

Eh, odd but if you are set to "public" on FB, then expect inquiries I suppose.

I would do nothing at this point.

 

[HM]

I'm not sure I'd do anything about the guy/gal sending the note via Facebook. She should ignore. And she should make sure that she has her privacy setting set to Friends Only.

But, I'd do a quick look around my office and take home anything that you worry might be a problem down the road if the cleaning staff were still nosy. Do you really need your DDs school photo on your desk/shelf/table?

And I'd talk to whoever deals with the cleaning staff and let them know about this.

 

[clutter]

The message wan't sent from my computer.

My bad. I thought you said he saw it on your computer!

In either event, you do need to let your office manager know. It's not appropriate. What if it was a picture of an employee, and you had nameplates on your desks. Would you want someone contacting you on Facebook because 'I saw your picture, and thought you were cute.'

Since you said that the employees are mentally challenged, I would hope that the company hiring them also knows how to manage challenged employees. I'm sure you probably wouldn't want the guy to lose his job, but if his boss doesn't correct him, the next person may not be so understanding.

 

[RadioNate]

So your office cleaning person saw your DDs photo with her name on it while vacuuming your office. After returning home he FB messaged her that he recognized her from attending HS together.

If that's totally it...I don't think it is terribly creepy. Assuming that it is likely that they did go to HS together. He was probably just thinking 'small world' or some kind of interesting coincidence.

As long as he's letting it go and not incessantly contacting her I wouldn't worry. Just mentioning the coincidence isn't creepy. Is he saying something more like commenting on her looks or trying to get together? That's creepy. The rest, I don't think it is anything than someone who's social skills might be a little lacking mentioning 'hey, we went to HS together and now I clean your mom's office.'

 

[Tink888]

So I'm having lunch with DD today and she tell me about a facebook message she received. It was along the lines of "I saw your picture when I was vaccuuming your mom's office. I think I was a senior at XHS when you were a freshman." She did not respond and there has been no other contact.

My co-workers and I all find it creepy and think it crosses some lines. (Typing it out makes it sound a lot less creepy lol) The cleaning people are mostly comprised of mentally challenged people so that might influence your WWYD. That being said, WWYD?

ETA: One of her senior pictures has her name on it so that's how he got her name.

Was the picture buried under other office stuff that would've required him to be "snooping" or was it sitting out where anyone could have seen it?

It sounds to me like he saw the photo, recognized your daughter from high school and sent her a message. There was nothing creepy in the message was there? And he hasn't messaged since then since she didn't respond? If that's the case I wouldn't give it a second thought. If he was scrolling down a friend's FB page and saw your daughter's name or photo on that page, and then messaged her it wouldn't be creepy. That's probably how most people find other acquaintances on FB.

Now if he started sending message after message, then it would be creepy. If you know for a fact that he is from Ohio and you live in Virginia and there's no way they went to high school together then it might be creepy. Otherwise it all sounds pretty innocent to me.

Not sure what being mentally challenged would have to do with it or what it would change.

 

[NHdisneylover]

So your office cleaning person saw your DDs photo with her name on it while vacuuming your office. After returning home he FB messaged her that he recognized her from attending HS together.

If that's totally it...I don't think it is terribly creepy. Assuming that it is likely that they did go to HS together. He was probably just thinking 'small world' or some kind of interesting coincidence.

As long as he's letting it go and not incessantly contacting her I wouldn't worry. Just mentioning the coincidence isn't creepy. Is he saying something more like commenting on her looks or trying to get together? That's creepy. The rest, I don't think it is anything than someone who's social skills might be a little lacking mentioning 'hey, we went to HS together and now I clean your mom's office.'

Was the picture buried under other office stuff that would've required him to be "snooping" or was it sitting out where anyone could have seen it?

It sounds to me like he saw the photo, recognized your daughter from high school and sent her a message. There was nothing creepy in the message was there? And he hasn't messaged since then since she didn't respond? If that's the case I wouldn't give it a second thought. If he was scrolling down a friend's FB page and saw your daughter's name or photo on that page, and then messaged her it wouldn't be creepy. That's probably how most people find other acquaintances on FB.

Now if he started sending message after message, then it would be creepy. If you know for a fact that he is from Ohio and you live in Virginia and there's no way they went to high school together then it might be creepy. Otherwise it all sounds pretty innocent to me.

Not sure what being mentally challenged would have to do with it or what it would change.

I agree with both of these. Unless there is more to the story I would not do a thing.

 

[wvjules]

Her privacy was friends of friends. She's since changed it to friends only. I logged out and searched for her and couldn't find her.

In either event, you do need to let your office manager know. It's not appropriate. What if it was a picture of an employee, and you had nameplates on your desks. Would you want someone contacting you on Facebook because 'I saw your picture, and thought you were cute.'

Since you said that the employees are mentally challenged, I would hope that the company hiring them also knows how to manage challenged employees. I'm sure you probably wouldn't want the guy to lose his job, but if his boss doesn't correct him, the next person may not be so understanding.

That's my thinking too but for now my inclination is to not do anything unless he contacts her again. So for now I'm not doing anything. And I do find it kind of creepy that someone used information obtained from items on my desk to track DD down on FB. That's the crossing the line part to me.

ETA: I've had pictures of her on my desk for years. The new one I have on here now has her name on it. That's how he was able to find her on facebook....by the name on the picture.

ETA2: I think if he had said he cleans where I work and left the pictures on the desk out of it I would't be giving it a second thought. It's the use of the pictures in the message that bothers me. I can't really explain it. lol I have my own little world in my head. lol

 

[Keli]

Honestly if it went no further than this then I wouldn't do anything about it.
It is a little too invasive to make me comfortable but when I take the intellectual disability factor into consideration then I would cut them more slack.
If any further contact occurred then I would contact the cleaning crew supervisor for a little chat.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Her privacy was friends of friends. She's since changed it to friends only. I logged out and searched for her and couldn't find her.



That's my thinking too but for now my inclination is to not do anything unless he contacts her again. So for now I'm not doing anything. And I do find it kind of creepy that someone used information obtained from items on my desk to track DD down on FB. That's the crossing the line part to me.

ETA: I've had pictures of her on my desk for years. The new one I have on here now has her name on it. That's how he was able to find her on facebook....by the name on the picture.

ETA2: I think if he had said he cleans where I work and left the pictures on the desk out of it I would't be giving it a second thought. It's the use of the pictures in the message that bothers me. I can't really explain it. lol I have my own little world in my head. lol

Yes, but if he indeed went to the same school as he did, I don't find it creepy.

Now if he DID NOT go to school with your dd then I would say something.

 

[wvjules]

Yes, but if he indeed went to the same school as he did, I don't find it creepy.

Now if he DID NOT go to school with your dd then I would say something.

IMO, no one should use information obtained from another person's desk to track someone down.

 

[msjprincess]

I agree with both of these. Unless there is more to the story I would not do a thing.

Me too. If that's all he said and they did indeed they did go to HS together I wouldn't think anything of it. Is your daughter still in HS or are they both adults now?

 

[sam_gordon]

I agree with PP that he hasn't crossed a line yet. I see two 'extremes'...

1) He actually did go to school with DD, saw the face, thought she looked familiar, did the facebook search, and messaged her.
2) He didn't go to school at the same time, liked the picture, and wants to go further.

I have no problem with #1, and of course have a problem with #2. But, why assume the worst in every scenario? Assuming nothing else happens, I'd go with #1 being the case and then ignore it. If he persists, then say something.

 

[wvjules]

Apparetly he did go to school with DD.

I'm not saying anything to his boss/company/supervisor unless it becomes an issue. I was just curious if 1)anyone thought it was creepy (consensus is no) and 2) WWYD about it.

Yes, she's an adult as of 3 weeks ago.

 

[Tink888]

IMO, no one should use information obtained from another person's desk to track someone down.

He recognized a photo that was out in the open, did a quick name search on FB and sent a message explaining who he was and how he recognized her. Actually, it was more mature (and less creepier) than just sending her a friend request while giving no hint of who he was.

If he had not been a cleaning person who might be mentally challenged, but instead, for instance, the cute high school quarterback who was an upperclassmen that your daughter went to high school with, who was in your office for a meeting and recognized the photo and sent a message that said "hey I was at a meeting and noticed your photo sitting on a desk, I think you were a few years behind me in high school, small world, how are you?" would you still find it creepy and crossing a line?

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Yes, but if he indeed went to the same school as he did, I don't find it creepy.

Now if he DID NOT go to school with your dd then I would say something.

This. ^^^

IMO, no one should use information obtained from another person's desk to track someone down.

I wouldn't call this situation "tracking someone down." He saw someone he recognized, and got on FB like people do every day, to touch base. She can ignore it. Unless it leads to actual stalking, nothing wrong or "creepy" happened, IMHO.

 

[wvjules]

Whoops, I went off of partial knowledge. He was already FB friends with her when he sent her the message. This is a moot conversation now. lol The rest is still true...saw picture on my desk, vaccuums my cubicle, contacted DD, went to same school.

Move along now...