Strange comment/vibe from DD's Music Teacher.

[California Girl]

Here's something my uncle, the former Chicago Police Officer told me when I was younger. Pedophiles do not become Lumberjacks. Translation: They do not move deep into the forest and away from kids. They put themselves in a position of trust and authority around children. The people you think you should trust the most (scout leaders, teachers, priests, care providers, etc.) are the people you should trust the least. What that teacher said about your daughter was completely and wholly inappropriate and honestly, who thinks that way about a 7 y/o?? The last thing I notice on a child is their physique. That comment must be reported to the proper authority immediately. If nothing else, he will know better than to say something so stupid in the future!!

my point is that what pedophile is going to say this to a mom....oh wait, that famous singer. never mind.

 

[rt2dz]

I believe anything said could be interpretted just about any way, it's the tone & inflection that gives real meaning. Everyone is always commenting on how long my neices (10) legs are--they stand out regardless. Really, her legs are longer than a giraffe's neck. Only slight exageration. But, it never gives anyone a second thought. There is never any mention beyond length. OK, a lot of people say should model.... There no "nice" or "lovely". If it creeped the OP out, it's the tone & inflection, and she is better off being safe than sorry.

 

[Stacey2grls]

Why didn't you say something to the music teacher when he made that comment? I would have told him right then and there that those kind of comments did not mesh with me

I totally agree! I should have said something right there and than, but I was too stunned!

 

[Stacey2grls]

Let me ask, if a music teacher were to note your DD has long legs and looks like she is on her way to being a tall girl....would that be different?

Yes, it would have been different. To comment on how lovely she is, and to say what long and nice legs she has is totally inappropriate. And, the expression on his face while he was saying it and looking at my daughter was truly gross. Looking back I feel so stupid. I guess I was so shocked. I know that when you have kids people always say "oh how cute", or "isn't she pretty", that is one thing. It was one of those times where the persons face says it all.

 

[Chicago526]

Well, look at it this way. It's either one of three things:

1) The guy is a pedofile
2) The guy is a creep, but harmless
3) He's a nice guy that really didn realize how his comments came off

If it's 1 or 2, then going to the princepal will let him know he's being watched by your and the school. If it's 3, hopefully he'll understand that while nothing was meant by the comments, that they were inapropriate and he needs to be more carefull in what he says.

Anyway you look at it, you aren't being paranoid, but a good mother.

 

[CathrynRose]

Now, dont get me wrong - Im the first person to say a child molester, ESPECIALLY a teacher should have his "family jewels" chopped off....

BUT, it's such a harsh allegation to make, too. Youre in a tough spot.

Let me ask you - does she have obnoxiously long legs? So much so, many people have noticed them, commented on them, etc?

I wish you the best of luck - what a creepy weird thing to have to deal with...

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I know everyone means well, but it really isn't about what he teaches or the specific words or his tone, or whether she really has long legs, or what any other person thinks he might have really meant - bottom line, it is about how the OP felt... the "vibe" as someone said..if it made you feel a bad "vibe" or set off an alarm for you - DO NOT ignore it - and do not explain or excuse it away...no matter how nice he seems, no matter how embarassing it might be for either party should it be wrong, no matter what!!! There is a good book on the subject called "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin DeBecker - bottom line, always go with that gut instinct!

 

[Stacey2grls]

Now, dont get me wrong - Im the first person to say a child molester, ESPECIALLY a teacher should have his "family jewels" chopped off....

BUT, it's such a harsh allegation to make, too. Youre in a tough spot.

Let me ask you - does she have obnoxiously long legs? So much so, many people have noticed them, commented on them, etc?

I wish you the best of luck - what a creepy weird thing to have to deal with...

Yes she does have very long shapely legs. She definately did not get them from me. And people have commented on them, especially when she wears skirts (which she loves). Now I feel like I might not have her wear skirts as much, especially with this guy around.

 

[outstandinfarmer]

I'd talk to the teacher. We all know when someone we work with is rather creepy and I'm sure he/she would know the music teacher's intentions

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

I noticed you said that he described her as being lovely... maybe that is an adjective he likes to use.

But if you feel a weird vibe from him I would definitely say something. It's better to be safe now, and you yourself feel a little embarrassed if the accusation is wrong. It would be a better outcome then to have your daughter go through something terribly traumatic because you didn't follow your gut.

 

[hlbtimes2]

Dont know if this has been said- I havent read all the pages - but ALWAYS trust your gut reaction/ instinct. Its rarely wrong.

 

[crazee4mickey]

Why would an adult male comment on a little girl's legs??!! I think that's just really out of line...I'd be worried too and definately telling someone at the school about him.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Please, listen to your instincts on this one. If you felt it was inappropriate then do something about it. If I had listened to my gut, I probably would never have been sexually harassed.

 

[nliedel]

You know I am almost more bothered by the principles first reaction than the Music Teachers comments. In ALL cases, no matter how saintly the teacher something like this brought to him should be handled very seriously. He did the right thing in the end, you weren't asking for the guys head no a plate, just letting him know your concerns. The second reaction by the principle should have been his first.

We tell our children, or at least I do, that if they are molested to take it to us. If they cannot take it to us to take it to a trusted teacher or principle. I want to know that my children will be believed first, not have to repeat the story. I expect action first. It's too serious not to.