stopping nursing

[ibelieveinmagic]

Moms- any tips for stopping nursing a 15 month old who is very "attached to the breast" Any advice would be appreaciated!!

 

[RN01]

When she wants to nurse you can devert her attention to something else that she likes. Also do it slowly, for you and her both. Maybe one less nursing a day for 2-3 days, then drop another one for a few days, etc. Good luck, and congrats on nursing that long- you are wonderful for doing that!!

 

[okeydokey]

Does she drink from a sippy cup? When you sit down to nurse, present the cup first. Over time offer the cup more often.

 

[joyfulscrapper]

I nursed all 3 of my kids for about 21 months each. None of them were very willing to stop and I wondered if they ever would be. The first thing I had to do was make sure that I was nursing them on a kind of rigid schedule. I had to cut out all of the nursing that was just because I was there or they felt like it. Once I was sure I was only nursing at certain times, for example: upon waking each morning, before nap, before bed at night, in the middle of the night, I chose one of the times to cut out. I always chose the easiest one, the first of the morning one was always first to go. In order to cut out that nursing session, I had to make sure they were distracted well and, of course, not hungry, bored, or fussy. I also had to make sure I didn't sit down in any of the typical nursing spots or they would think it was time and climb onto to my lap and ask for it. I would go at least 3 days, usually a week, before trying to cut out another nursing session. If you are in a hurry to wean, it will be much more painful for you and your child. Even doing it gradually I experienced painful swelling for a couple of days. One bit of advice that I was told and very surprised at, but really helped, was to put cabbage leaves in your bra to reduce the pain and swelling. It really helped, especially when the leaves were straight out of the fridge. It's been over 2 years now since I weaned my youngest, so I'm not sure if I'm remembering everything. If you have any more specific questions, feel free to PM me. I hope it goes well for both of you and congratulations on nursing for over a year!

 

[Melani]

Scheduling helps. Get it down to once a day. My boys were both 18 months when weened and my girl was 20. I thought she was never going to give it up just the week before.

Look for the "window" of opportunity. They all go through a growth period where they are open to the idea of leaving it behind. Sounds nutty I know. I thought- how on earth will I be able to recognize this "window", but you will.

 

[Camno's Mama]

I stopped nursing right before both kids turned two. I cut back to twice a day, in the morning and at night. I would just distract them any other time they asked. Then I quit the morning nursing by just getting up and feeding them breakfast right away. Then I quit the night time nursing by just "forgetting" it if they didn't ask. It got to a point where they would only ask every couple of days, then once a week, and then they just forgot they ever nursed! Sad for me, but easier for them than I thought it would be, and they (especially my older ds) were very attached to nursing.

Good luck!

 

[carj]

You have received some good advice about scheduling. One thing that I did to help that was to never sit down. (Or at least avoid it!) Both of my children wanted to climb in my lap and nurse every time I sat down. (They quit, at 18 months and 23 months. NEITHER of them would have ever quit without my help.

We would go to the park, the mall etc... and stay until nap time. On the way home, they would fall asleep. The hardest for both of them, was the middle of the night nursings. We had a few rough nights.

You have to help them create new habits and new ways of comforting themselves. Though they are getting nourishment, at this point, it is more of a comfort experience. (At least in my opinion.)

It will be a rough time at first, go slowly and be consistent.

 

[ambiwan]

I nursed both of mine for 1 year. By then, I was only nursing morning, before nap, and bed. When you've nursed for a length of time, it is an emotional attachment for the child versus a physical need (they get nutrition in other ways by that point). But as long as they feel secure with Mommy, and you connect emotionally with them in other ways (cuddling, hugging, etc), they learn to substitue other things to the emotional attachment they have with nursing. To that point, they know nothing else and you in a sense teach them there are other ways to bond with Mom. The morning was easiest - just wake up and eat breakfast first thing. Then nap - I kept the same nap routine (rock, read stories and sing), I just wouldn't offer the breast. The first couple days, they tried to find it, but I would just ignore it and distract it with cuddling and a sippy. The bedtime one was the most difficult, but honestly, I think it was "the most difficult" only in my head because I was afraid of how they would do. But I did the same with it as with the nap one and they ended up doing just fine. IMO, I think that now (12-15 months) is the perfect time to stop nursing. They don't physically need it, and to continue longer develops a harder habit to break. And you're not a bad mom for stopping! (Sometimes, we question ourselves too much). You child may complain about it the first few times you don't offer, but they will be fine. Stay strong!

 

[Tisha_PA]

My DD4 nursed until she was about 17 months. I cut her nursing down to twice a day - first thing in the am and at bedtime. I was working on weaning her off the bedtime feeding when we found out I was pg. She weaned herself shortly after that. Her pedi told me that the milk while pg probably didn't taste the same as it did before I was pg. But I did find that cutting out 1 feeding every week or so help wean her. Good luck!

 

[alyssa810]

I'm in the same boat too! My DS is 13.5 months, and he's only nursing in the morning when he gets up and at night before bed. I had also been pumping once a day up until last week, and I just used that milk to mix with cereal. We're in such a routine though that I don't know if I want to stop yet!! I was talking with my DH about it and we're hoping to have him weaned completely in the next 6 months or so...before kid(s) I had always thought if he's old enough to ask for it, he's too old but now that I have a kid, that's easier said than done! I also really enjoy nursing him in the baby centers at the parks, so maybe after one more trip!!!

 

[crisi]

My sister had to stop nursing cold turkey when she was diagnosed with breast cancer - her son was younger than yours though. It was tough - he was very attached to the breast. He was (and still is - he is two now - and she is fine) a pacifier kid - which did help. Otherwise, it was just rough.

My kids both enjoyed the freedom that walking around with a bottle or sippy cup gave them over the breast. They could be far more involved - which might be a plus - if you don't mind them moving around the house with liquids (in some homes that is a no no).

 

[mom2faith]

Since no one has covered this yet, do not forget about yourself. Be sure you have a tensor available (to wrap your breasts) and lots of Motrin or Advil. I found it so painful I almost started again!! I managed though. I weaned DD at 10 months because of going back to work. She was easy though. I feel bad for the ladies that have a grouchy kid and sore breasts. The things we go through as mommies!!

Good luck!!

Amy

 

[wannabee]

I stopped at 18 months. Like others I just cut back. The night time was the last to go. At bedtime, I disappeared and DH put him to bed for several nights.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

I nursed youngest DD until she was 2 and we were already down to only 3-4 times a day by then, so I just got rid of the morning one first. I made sure she had a great breakfast then I offered her a sippy cup with milk in it. Then I gradually began to eliminate them one by one, the night time was the last to go, I had DH put her bed which worked, then when we went back to mommy after a week or so putting her to bed, and she asked to nurse, I told her that mommy's breast didn't have milk in it anymore and she had to have milk in her cup. She accepted that answer and that was the end of it.

 

[mareed]

It may help to understand why you're wanting to stop. Is it something that's coming from you (starting a job perhaps) or because of outside pressure? It's been a while since my nursing days (youngest is 9), but last I recall the AAP recommended nursing for at least a year and at long as mutually desired after that. Both of my boys weaned at about 27 months with the "don't offer - don't refuse" technique. I just quit offerring to nurse, and they really didn't ask any more. With my first I was ready to get pregnant again, and didn't want to nurse through a pregnancy, so I quit offering a few months after he was 2. It just worked out the same way where we were down to hardly nursing at all about the same timing with my 2nd.

15 months is still very much a young baby, and they are still getting important nutrition and immunities at this age as well as comfort, so if you really want to continue you can! But I also understand that there could be personal reasons for wanting to end nursing... I'd say at that age that distraction would probably work fairly well by just offering something else to do. But, you may not be able to sit down in whatever is your "nursing chair"! LOL! Best of luck whatever you do! I just wanted to offer support for continuing in case it was pressure from outside sources that may be causing you to want to stop.

 

[princess&her4princes]

I stopped at 18 months. Like others I just cut back. The night time was the last to go. At bedtime, I disappeared and DH put him to bed for several nights.

Did the same thing with my youngest....I think I didn't want to give it up and he was more ready than me!! But I had my DH bring him to bed instead of me (for the first time in his little life!) and it worked...I got down to just the mornings and I would just start offering him his straw cup first thing and breakfast and we were fine. It seems like most the time (in my case anywas with my three) they are more willing to change than we think! It always went better than I expected! Good luck...it's tough!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

I know this is a little extreme, but my kids are both sooo stubborn. I nursed them until they were 2, and tried everything to get them to mentally move away from the breast as a source of comfort. Neither kid took a pacifier, nor were self-soothers. (One is a Type A personality and the other is a high-functioning autistic, so I guess in hindsight they get it honestly). I tried giving sippy cups, DH putting them to bed, pleading, bribery, starving to make my milk dry up, etc. I was going to go crazy and imagined myself nursing a ten year old kid with my monster baggy ****s (OK, the **** part came true!)

I am a horse person, and when we wean mares and foals, we move the mares to another farm to wean them. They may be sad for a day or two, but they have their friends and a new place, and they always get over it. Sometimes the mares are upset (the best ones always are), but a lot of mares look grateful to be given a break. We try to leave one mare in the bunch of babies so hey have a "mom" around to comfort them, Some will try nursing off the single mare, but they get over it really quickly.

So for baby #1, when I went to the hospital to have baby #2 and stayed for a few days, she was finally weaned for good. It worked so well, that for baby #2 I had DH and both kids visit family for a couple of weeks. DS had so much fun in a new place with people entertaining him that he didn't even notice I was gone. He tried to nurse a couple of times after he got home, but I was all out of juice by then. "Uh oh, nothing left- all gone!" hugs, kisses, let's got to the park...

I just didn't have the mental energy to try to negotiate with a toddler. Trust me, it just doesn't work. They can't think like that. I always felt like I was breaking their hearts or rejecting them. By taking them away from you (with a trusted, loved family member!), you are letting the process happen without unloading your guilt onto the baby. (If I had to do it over again, I would have gone to WDW and left DH and kiddos at home...) This, too, shall pass and then you have to figure out how to pay for college.

 

[tonilea]

We had to stop cold turkey. I hated it, but I was having back surgery and on some very strong pain meds. I think I was more traumatized than he was. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected.

Best of luck to you.

 

[ScrapperBelle]

I also had to quit cold turkey. My son was 20 mos. old. I had begun to wean him at 18 mos., so we were down to one feeding per day.

I had to have emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder and I couldn't continue nursing with the antibiotics/pain killers in my system.

He spent a couple of nights with my mom while I was in the hospital. He understood that I was sick and I think those couple of days/nights away from me helped too.

 

[princessmom29]

It may help to understand why you're wanting to stop. Is it something that's coming from you (starting a job perhaps) or because of outside pressure? It's been a while since my nursing days (youngest is 9), but last I recall the AAP recommended nursing for at least a year and at long as mutually desired after that. Both of my boys weaned at about 27 months with the "don't offer - don't refuse" technique. I just quit offerring to nurse, and they really didn't ask any more. With my first I was ready to get pregnant again, and didn't want to nurse through a pregnancy, so I quit offering a few months after he was 2. It just worked out the same way where we were down to hardly nursing at all about the same timing with my 2nd.

15 months is still very much a young baby, and they are still getting important nutrition and immunities at this age as well as comfort, so if you really want to continue you can! But I also understand that there could be personal reasons for wanting to end nursing... I'd say at that age that distraction would probably work fairly well by just offering something else to do. But, you may not be able to sit down in whatever is your "nursing chair"! LOL! Best of luck whatever you do! I just wanted to offer support for continuing in case it was pressure from outside sources that may be causing you to want to stop.

Children don't need breat milk after 1 year for nutrition or antibodies. It is simply a source of comfort after that. Once they are old enough to ask for it it is time to stop, for the sake of both mother and child. I had a friend who nursed her child untill he was almost three. What a mess. She wanted to crawl under a table everytime he asked for her "noo- noo" in public!! It really is only an emotinal attachment after they are a year old, and her problem was a "but he's my little baby" attitude. I hope for the op's sake she is able to break her child now before it becomes a huge battle of wills.