nebo
<font color=red>sharkbait<br><font color=teal>Uh o
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2006
- Messages
- 2,524
Sorsha, how silly can you get? But at least amongst all you 'ists, you didn't mention being a Cubs fan.
It's kind of funny. I just went back into the archives, my first report, that lasted a whole 16 pages. Yes, since I'm covering some of the same territory, I wanted something from there that I remembered. But low and behold, I saw a Donald is #1. I had no idea that you went back to the first one.
Shall we finally talk about Coral Reef? At least now that the Bic's are gone?
I have said before, and I'll say it again, I am not a dead fish fan. However, I do know that you do no go to a fish joint and order a steak.
SO, to quote a friend of mine, "We're having FISH tonight."
Well, today.
This is the part where I tell you part of the reason I don't like fish. And, keep in mind, this is before a crappy, bluegirl, stripper bone tried to take out my wife.
Time to go back, way back, back in time. (if anybody can tell me the name of the song and who made it, that I just quoted from, I will once again be Aghast, Agape, and Agog. ) From the first trip report:::::::
I can eat your normal friday night fish fry. It's usually deep fried cod.
No problem.
But that's about it.
Sorry, have to backtrack here.
Back in the 80's, we used to keep a small cruiser up on the Chain O lakes.
one afternoon, the four of us and two other couples stopped at a place called the Aquarium Lounge to escape all the deranged boaters out there.
Big mistake.
The gimmick here is if you swallow a minnow, you get to buy one of their logo shirts for 5 bucks.
Of course DF did it as soon as we sat down. Then, so did his wife
I cringed.
Then DF2 and his wife did it.
I'm shaking.
Don't like where this is heading.
Then, my wife, my first wife, the woman I entrusted every secret, insecurity I ever had, she did it.
She did it. shudder
The t- shirts were flowing.
It got worse.
My older son, "Hey! get one out for me, I can do this."
He is all of 7.
Another t-shirt.
I start to look at my 5 year old.
"Jer, don't even think about
"Daddy, daddy, where's my fish?" Yeah, he does it too. Another 5 dollar minnow. At this point I am doing my best to turn invisible.
I'm sick from just watching them.
At this point, my little buddy Jeremy turns against me.
"Dad, you're the only one left, you're gonna do it right?"
"No son, I already did this last year. No need to do this again. Beside's, they are running out of bait,,, er,, minnows.
Good old DF chimes in, "I don't think so Nebo, when we docked you said you were never here before."
Ah. Thank you for sharing.
If that wasn't bad enough, then my two buddies started singing the old Paul Peterson song, My Dad.
"Now here, is a man. "
I looked at my kids, with the illbegotten reverence in their eyes, staring up at me, and I told the bartender to take the smallest minnow he could find, and drop it into my JB and soda.
I'm the only one who had to use this tact.
I watched it swim around amoungst the ice cubes, until it started slowing down.
Guess it didn't like scotch.
Just before it went belly up, I took the whole drink down, fish, ice cubes and all.
I didn't want my throat to know the difference between fish and ice cubes.
Then I sat there and stared. Straight ahead. For about 10 minutes.
Praying.
Did that thing just flop in my stomach?
I was greener than the DIS ribbons green. On the verge of pulling a ZZub.
And not a La La fanny pack in sight. Then the bartender told me.
"Sorry, all out of t-shirts."
Figures.
There are other fish stories.
Uh huh! That's what happened.
We're back to real time here now. But that wasn't the only bad fishy.
Back when we were first married, we took my income tax refund check and bought a house way out in the boonies, in a town called Carpentersville.
A starter house.
And we met the neighbors.
From Arkansas.
Who didn't like shoes cuz you couldn't tell when you stepped in dog crap.
And didn't have a phone, any phone.
Or gas. They heated the house with a wood burning stove, with homemade ducts hanging from the ceiling , going to all the rooms.
One day a knock on our door resulted in them inviting us to a fish fry at there house.
I was just about to pop around the corner, but I heard Diane talking.
"Oh, thanks Paul, but Steve doesn't eat fish."
whew!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Well, yes he likes that. "
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I'm getting nervous, only getting half the conversation.
"Friday night? Yes, I guess we aren't doing anything."
no, no , no, no,
we'll do something, anything, picking up garbage along rt. 25 sounds like a good idea right now
So I came around the corner.
"Hi Paul, what's up?"
,,,,,,,,,yada, yada,,,,
"Oh, she said it was ok, huh?" "But there is a very good chance she might be in surgery friday night. "
"For what?"
"I havent decided yet."
Yes, we went, he had told her that since I don't eat fish, he would pick up a T-bone for me. That caught her off guard, and on friday night, off we went.
It was right next store, but you had to walk around the VW Bug that was up on blocks in front of the door in the grass.
I brought over a six pack of Buckhorn, you know, just to show I care.
I could barely breathe when I walked in, the fish smell was so powerful.
They are cooking all the fish in electric fry pans, they actually have 4 going at once. Remember, they don't have an oven, or even a Weber out in the back, they cook EVERYTHING in electric fry pans.
It is filthy, disgusting in there, I don'lt even want to sit down. But he offered me a drink.
Buckhorn.
ANd not one of mine.
I nailed it.
I was just walking around, trying to kill time before I had to puke, and went outside just to watch the meter.
That thing was turning like a fan!
Great entertainment.
Back in the house, I saw the dog.
"Hey, here doggy, What's his name?"
Sounds like a normal questioin to ask, right?
"Oh, that's old Scooter, Scooter, doncha be bodderin our new neighba, steve."
Now, I was just trying to make conversation, but, I also wasn't thinking , I guess. "Scooter huh? How'd he get his name?"
"Well now Steve, ever since we done took him in, he's had this habit of pressing his hinder down into the carpet and kind of just "scootin" along, after he uses the facilties."
Spiffy.
"You mean couch."
"WHat's that Steve?"
"You mean couch." "Look."
And there is ol Scooter, just "Butt Scootin' Boogie'ing" his way across the sofa.
(mommy)
I walked back into the kitchen, to see if any wires had started a fire yet.
The fish have all been removed from the fry pans, and there is my beautiful T-bone, now sitting in the same fry pan that is now a quarter inch deep in Crappie oil.
Oh man, with the help of ol' Scooter, who found out who his best friend was under the table that night, I made it through, without eating a single bite of the steak.
Like I said, me and dead fish don't usually get along.
Back at the Reef, I use my usual line when we walk up to the counter. Two for non cell phone section please. And she gives the same line right back to me that I always get, " I wish".
We have eaten here once before, last year. It actually used to be a signature restaurant, you know, two credits, but not anymore.
It was downgraded to just a tropical restaurant.
The first time I was here, I ordered Mahi Mahi, because I was told it's not fishy at all. And boy, was I told correctly!
It's not ANYTHING!
I finally asked for salt.
Talk about needing some "artificial flavoring".
So as we are walking to our table behind the waitress, I have no idea what I'm going to order.
She stops, and puts us at a table for four.
Right in front of the GLASS! I leaned over to the left, and the aquarium kept me from falling over, it's that close. Way cool!
We're gonna take a short break right here, and be right back.
!!!
on the minnow and 
