Stay at home Mom to working woman- tips please

[LuvOrlando]

So with my son headed off to college and my daughter going next year I decided it would be a good idea to try for a job my friend told me about & although I was convinced I stunk up the interview with the new interview style it seems I did ok. The HR person called me a few weeks later and while I would have bet money on the spot that she was giving me courtesy call to tell me they preferred another applicant, things switched up and they offered me a position. Now not only am I floored because everyone under the sun made me feel like I was completely unemployable from here on in... Seriously EVERYONE... but I am not entirely sure about how to transition from a doting stay at home mom to a professional woman working again. Surreal

We are dropping my son off next Saturday and then I am supposed to start on Monday. It's a whole lot of change all at once but I'd have to be a idiot to not jump on this so here I am- slightly panicked and feeling unprepared. Any tips? Advice? Recommendations?

 

[Monykalyn]

Congratulations on the job! That is awesome!
Never made that transition -have moved from part time/fulltime/contract and back through the stages so have done lots of new jobs and interviews; and moved states several times so have had to "start over" in new places lots...
Do you have a uniform or company dress policy? Comfortable clothes that you feel good in that are appropriate for your work place will give you one less thing to stress about.
Plan meals for the first few days-I love my crockpot and always have staples in pantry and freezer for quick meals (don't want to eat up the newly made money always eating out).
Plan for when you will do your errands/shopping/cleaning. Changing schedules for me is always the challenge for me.
Give yourself a break for the first few weeks- don't underestimate the stress of adjusting to a different schedule.
I'm sure others will give better advice on the transition-this is just what I have learned over the years in changing job sites.

And again-Congratulations!!!

 

[Hook326]

First off~congratulations! Second~remind yourself often that it takes time to learn a new job & that you will make a mistake and/or forget something (no one is perfect!). Third~since this doesn't seem like a financial necessity (sorry if I'm making an incorrect assumption), you can always quit or look for another position that suits you better. Most things don't have to be forever. Fourth~don't make that decision until you've been there a few weeks since the beginning can be so stressful!

Good luck! Please update on how it goes!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Thanks Monykslyn, the crock pot idea is a gem. Maybe I will pull together a week long meal plan to make things less stressful. I am in an office so no uniforms but that would have helped. Errands are a good point, think I can just start the week with a clean house, laundry and a shopping trip.

Thank you Hook326, with my son on his way to college and daughter up next year I think things just slid into necessity territory. Since I live in an economically depressed area and haven't worked outside of volunteering for 18 years I don't think another chance will come along, plus some friends vouched for me so I can't let them down... So much anxiety... Ok more like panic

 

[Eureka]

Congrats! I think the fact that your kids are older and one even out of the house is easier bc you don't have to coordinate rides for them etc. My kids were 10 and 12 when I went back full time and it was very nerve wracking at first but then gradually we eased into a routine. One thing I did do was make enough dinner for leftovers another night. It did take adjusting to have to run errands on the weekends. I am in the opposite dilemma this summer...got laid off a few weeks ago so suddenly all I have is time while I look for another job. Good luck to you!

 

[kymom99]

One piece of advice I can give you is you will have to relax your standards a little. By that I mean if little things don't get done around the house, they don't get done. That is the reality of trying to work full time and keep a house.

 

[Narnia_girl]

Congratulations and good luck! I made the transition back to work after being at home for 15 years. As others have said, it's mostly a time adjustment, but eventually you will find a method/schedule that works for you.

It also took a while before my parents, siblings and friends adjusted to me working. I'd get calls all the time asking what I was doing or inviting me to lunch dates ("oh I forgot you work now!")

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

I don't have any kids, so I don't have specific transition advice. But I am working full time so I know what it is like to balance work and home responsibilities. It is pretty much all about time management. Anything that makes it easier to get up and head out the door in the morning is what is going to help you be less stressed and help you focus better on the job. So here is what I focus on:

I meal plan for the week, splitting meal prep responsibility with DH. This takes away a huge amount of stress. I pack lunches the night before so that I just have to grab and go.

I choose clothing the night before and set it out so that I don't have to worry about wasting time in the morning doing these things. It's always best to be a little more dressy than the office dictates rather than underdressed. Professional appearance goes a long way towards success.

I set my alarm 10 minutes early because I know that I will hit the snooze button once. It's in my nature and so instead of denying it, I built that into my schedule.

Make sure that you drive to the office once or twice this week when you would normally plan to go, so that you know what the traffic is like and you can account for any possible delays. It's always hard to feel like you started on the right foot at a new job if you show up late your first day.

I have a google calendar that I use to schedule all of my work and personal events, responsibilities, etc. One calendar is better than several. I prioritize my work tasks based on due date, length of task and importance. Try to keep it simple and it will be easier to stick with. I also have a system to help me focus. I write down 3 small tasks and 3 major tasks for each day. And for the most part, that is all that I work on that day. The first 10 minutes of each hour I spend on shorter tasks or answering emails. Once those 10 minutes are up, I switch to focusing on a larger task from my list. I work on that task, uninterrupted, for 45 minutes. I then take a 5 minute break. Repeat. This helps cut out the contract distractions that you might experience from emails and such. Find a system that works for you and implement it.

When I started my current job, I was pretty nervous. Just remember to take a breath whenever things start to feel overwhelming. I taught ACT prep and one of the most helpful test taking techniques for students were simple breathing exercises that helped them calm down and focus.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Eureka, doubling up on dinners is a great idea. Sad that you were laid off & hope you find something better soon.

Kymom99, I have been telling my family this & hope they step up. Fortunately, I have a 17 year old daughter at home who can be a big help with errands around the house

 

[LuvOrlando]

Narniagirl, thanks. Good to know there are others who were home long term and successfully made it back into the workforce. I think it will be an adjustment for all of that, I am grateful the job is only 10 minutes away so I guess I could get away for a lunch date nearby if I ask the person to order for me

 

[Madteaparty001]

I returned to work part time last year after being a SAHM. Next month I start full time. My best piece of advice, don't be hard on yourself. Companies usually have a 90 day policy for a reason, it takes time to learn the in and outs of a new job. You won't be expected to be an expert after your first week, just don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions.

 

[KarenAylwood]

Like others said, it will take time and planning. And patience with yourself! You'll feel exhausted. A new job (whether it's mentally/physically demanding or not) will be very exhausting at the start. You'll be trying to learn names, policies, places, etc etc. The more planning the better. Pick your outfits, start the week with a clean house and a meal plan, just like everyone else said.

That being said, I was unemployed for 10 months and went back to work last November. I also have a little one (just turned 3) so my situation is obviously different but I can give you some tips that worked for me...

Do laundry a load at a time- every day or every other day, whatever is needed. I was way too overwhelmed with "laundry day" to get it all washed, dried, folded and put away. Sometimes I'll wash, dry and fold then the next day I put away.

Clean a bit at a time too. When I was working before I'd let things get out of control then spend a whole weekend cleaning. Now I do things a bit at a time (and I got a roomba as a gift ) and my house always feels pretty clean and I can enjoy my downtime outside of work more!

Plan meals and have leftovers. Stock your pantry/freezer with some things that are quick to grab for lunch if you're in a pinch like hearty cans of soup or a few frozen dinners. I usually try to bring in dinner leftovers because it doesn't require packing a lunch the night before (since I'm already doing that for DS!)

Choose a weeknight to do your grocery shopping. I have DH pick up DS from daycare on Friday and I do my grocery shopping then. It frees up the weekend so I don't have to battle the weekend shoppers. This has made a world of a difference (I never used to do this when I was working before).

Jen and Ashwin- I love your work tactic on doing big tasks and little ones!!

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Like others said, it will take time and planning. And patience with yourself! You'll feel exhausted. A new job (whether it's mentally/physically demanding or not) will be very exhausting at the start. You'll be trying to learn names, policies, places, etc etc. The more planning the better. Pick your outfits, start the week with a clean house and a meal plan, just like everyone else said.

That being said, I was unemployed for 10 months and went back to work last November. I also have a little one (just turned 3) so my situation is obviously different but I can give you some tips that worked for me...

Do laundry a load at a time- every day or every other day, whatever is needed. I was way too overwhelmed with "laundry day" to get it all washed, dried, folded and put away. Sometimes I'll wash, dry and fold then the next day I put away.

Clean a bit at a time too. When I was working before I'd let things get out of control then spend a whole weekend cleaning. Now I do things a bit at a time (and I got a roomba as a gift ) and my house always feels pretty clean and I can enjoy my downtime outside of work more!

Plan meals and have leftovers. Stock your pantry/freezer with some things that are quick to grab for lunch if you're in a pinch like hearty cans of soup or a few frozen dinners. I usually try to bring in dinner leftovers because it doesn't require packing a lunch the night before (since I'm already doing that for DS!)

Choose a weeknight to do your grocery shopping. I have DH pick up DS from daycare on Friday and I do my grocery shopping then. It frees up the weekend so I don't have to battle the weekend shoppers. This has made a world of a difference (I never used to do this when I was working before).

Jen and Ashwin- I love your work tactic on doing big tasks and little ones!!

Thanks, but I didn't come up with it on my own. I actually read it in an article about how to overcome being overwhelmed. I have found it to be very helpful.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Write down a list of all the generic things you do for your family to include any and all house chores, including any dry cleaning runs, grocery shopping, errands and share it with your family. Have your list become their list as well. Have everyone pick up extra 2-3 things off the list. Don't feel guilty about it. Women notoriously feel guilty about sharing the work and guilty when a ball drops. Just share the work. You aren't a one woman house.

I have two large color coded dry erase boards in my kitchen. One board is dedicated to family events going on. Things from my work, when I travel, after hours meetings and the same for my husband and activities we are both required to attend and we put down any days off just in case we could coordinate to see each other that day.

The other dry erase board is for meals. I shop for typically two weeks at a time with one small shop for fresh produce. I do a meal plan but do list all options on the bottom in case I need to sub in something else in a pinch. If my husband comes home first, he knows to start browning meat, opening cans, slicing veggies or whatever prep needs to be done.

I also do lot prep work once a month or so with browning big packages of ground turkey and putting into small packages for the freezer. I freeze chicken and pork loin with marinades on it and I do make two casseroles at one time so I can throw one in the freezer. I buy bunches of peppers and onions and dice and slice them up into small portions for baggies to be frozen so can be thrown into casseroles, soups/stews, or whatever. Once a month or so I make breakfast burritos and egg bakes in muffin tins. My husband takes the burritos for breakfast and I take the egg bake muffins but I have and do serve them for dinner with cut up fruit in a pinch.

I would say don't be harsh on yourself. I serve tuna melts and cut up veggies with dip and call it a meal sometimes. It might not be steak but it was made out of my kitchen and it counts. Last week I didn't even have bread so I made pimento cheese in one bowl, tuna salad in another bowl and we had that with crackers and veggies and fruit. It happens. Just let your household help out or insist they help out. You can't go at it alone.

 

[Monykalyn]

As for the shopping-if the grocery stores in your area offer ordering online and pickup (or delivery!) take advantage! I use our HyVee here for that-order online-then simply drive up-phone that I am there-and they come out and put right into my car! Works awesome for the larger every 2-3 week shopping I have to do (have done this with Sams club as well when I know it is time to stock up on staples-the click and pull).

I forgot about the planning for the weeks outfits too! I do that as well, and plan on laundry days-much easier to do 1 load in an evening vs 5. I have a delay on my washer so sometimes i will set the timer so load is done shortly before getting home, switch when I walk in door and it is dry by time we are done eating dinner.

 

[Monykalyn]

Last week I didn't even have bread so I made pimento cheese in one bowl, tuna salad in another bowl and we had that with crackers and veggies and fruit.

My kids LOVE these types of meals

We also have frozen pizzas, things like the parmesan fish (frozen) on hand at all times so if things are really in a pinch the kids can easily make this themselves.

Can you tell I am the food planner? I despise wasting money on food and don't really enjoy eating out often (family of 5 gets expensive quick) so I like to maximize food dollars. I have a large garden and backyard chickens too, 2 large freezers (we buy a side of beef about every other year, and have two hunters in family). Obviously not everyone will be this obsessed

 

[Jing]

Give yourself 3 months to voice an opinion on anything regarding your work environment.

 

[Aliceacc]

Congrats!!! Know that, given the job market, you must have impressed them-- there are lots of applicants for every job under the sun, and you beat them all out.

I went back to work-- though at the same school I had previously worked for-- in 2005, after 5 years home. Here's my sage advice:

1. Wardrobe. Find out what you'll need to wear. When in doubt, dress up a bit more than you need to. MUCH better to be told that you can relax in the dress code than that you need to step it up. Don't forget shoes!!! I'm on my feet all day, so professional, comfortable shoes are a must! I love Easy Spirit, and try to visit an outlet as often as possible. And invest in a black or grey cardigan that you can leave at work, for days when it's unexpectedly cold or when you're starting to come down sick.

2. Housework. KNow that things at home are going to take a hit. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to work 2 full time jobs, and housework is the one you've been doing. Try to keep up with the laundry; weekends are my big time for laundry.

3. Take advantage of easy, quick meals and things that will help you make them. Frozen breaded chicken cutlets are great-- they work in everything from a salad to a quick Chicken Parm.

4. That calendar someone mentioned is so important!! You'll want to know where your daughter has to be, and how she's getting there if she doesn't drive or have a car yet.

5. Hang in there!! It's so easy to get overwhelmed.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I agree with the pp who said to delegate jobs to others. They are all accustomed to you doing a lit for them and the house. It has to stop or you will go crazy.
I never got to be a SAHM but after ds19 was born I told dh if I'm going back to work, he needs to deal with meal planning and shopping. No way can I get myself and a baby ready to leave by 7 am and have to think about defrosting meat at 6.
Then do 10 loads of laundry on Saturday, clean the whole house, go grocery shopping, and still be a mommy. Something's gotta give. He started grocery shopping and cooking and dinner has been on the table when I walk in ever since. (He gets home 2 hrs before me.).
If your dh is not used to you being so busy, he needs to step up and change his routine big time.

 

[QVCshopper]

I think you'll do fine. I work between 20-25 hours per week at night and am a stay at home mom to three young kids during the day, without any babysitters or daycare or housekeepers. I also volunteer a good bit at various schools and troops. To do all this, I keep up with the laundry by doing a load a day since we are a family of five. I shop 1-2 times a week for food and prep the meat so I can defrost and cook immediately. I clean as I go, but some things just don't happen all that often, like dusting. I clean bathrooms deeply about once a month and wipe/do the toilets more frequently. I keep an incredibly detailed calendar and make lists so I know what we need and when. My husband helps, too, with making the kid lunches while I go to work, and doing the yard work and garbage. Basically, keep up, do things as quickly as possibly, and stay very very organized.