Split Checks?

[JessicaR]

Same with me. At the end of dinner, someone gives a dollar amount (same amount) we owe, and we all chip in. And I have friends who if they knew they spent more, always offered up more money on their own anyways, just like I would. But...we don't take each other up on it, we're fine with splitting evenly.

I always make sure I have enough money to afford a night that could get expensive, or I don't go.

I will say, I don't think I've ever been one of the ones who wasn't drinking.

Yes, same here!

 

[shoney]

I'm coming into this late and I will read up. I live on LI if that matters and when we eat out with friends, family, there has never been an offer or a thought of separate checks. Thats an odd notion for me. I think I would be insulted.

exactly! my wine story was just one of those things that made us laugh...I would never had said "i only had 4 glasses and you had 6, so I pay less"

 

[JessicaR]

exactly! my wine story was just one of those things that made us laugh...I would never had said "i only had 4 glasses and you had 6, so I pay less"

Uh oh, were both from LI.

In all seriousness, I agree. Doesnt make anyone else wrong, it's just the way we roll.

 

[shoney]

But would you have paid for the wine if you didn't drink it? If you did at $150.00, well you know the saying, " A fool and his money are soon parted" FWIW, We have order wine for this amount on several occasions, not often but have. If I drink it, then I gladly pay for it, but no way in he double toothpicks would I pay a portion of that if I didn't drink it.

I don't know because that would never happen

It was just the point that the wine was that much and the amount of bottles we ordered!

 

[2girls4me]

exactly! my wine story was just one of those things that made us laugh...I would never had said "i only had 4 glasses and you had 6, so I pay less"

I'm convinced LI is its own seperate planet.



But, we went to an upscale restaurant in NYC and there was a large party there paying.m the waiter had several cc's and cash so the check was split several ways. We go down the middle regardless who has what.

 

[amg35]

Remeber in History of the World Part I? The Last Supper scene? The waiter asked if they were all together or would it be separate checks?

 

[JessicaR]

I'm convinced LI is its own seperate planet.



But, we went to an upscale restaurant in NYC and there was a large party there paying.m the waiter had several cc's and cash so the check was split several ways. We go down the middle regardless who has what.

hahaha another LI'er heard from...We are our own planet. Welcome.

 

[eliza61]

exactly! my wine story was just one of those things that made us laugh...I would never had said "i only had 4 glasses and you had 6, so I pay less"

Man shoney, I just went to dinner and the theater with 3 other couples. truth be it told after 4 hours of eating, drinking and laughing, I can't remember who ate what!
I can't imagine at the end of the night saying "ok who had the veal cutlets? who had 3 apple martinis?". My husband would have asked if I hit my head on the bathroom stall or some thing?

 

[shoney]

Man shoney, I just went to dinner and the theater with 3 other couples. truth be it told after 4 hours of eating, drinking and laughing, I can't remember who ate what!
I can't imagine at the end of the night saying "ok who had the veal cutlets? who had 3 apple martinis?". My husband would have asked if I hit my head on the bathroom stall or some thing?

After that many bottles, I didn't remember if the steak was any good...it was supposed to be..it was Sparks, right?

I think us LI'ers need to go out to lunch/dinner...... EDIT: NYC metro ppl are invited as well...LOL

 

[cornflake]

After that many bottles, I didn't remember if the steak was any good...it was supposed to be..it was Sparks, right?

I think us LI'ers need to go out to lunch/dinner...... EDIT: NYC metro ppl are invited as well...LOL

We're not going to Olive Garden, right?

 

[2girls4me]

After that many bottles, I didn't remember if the steak was any good...it was supposed to be..it was Sparks, right?

I think us LI'ers need to go out to lunch/dinner...... EDIT: NYC metro ppl are invited as well...LOL

Definitely. We'd blow their freaking minds. Who paid for what? Why did you pay for her salad? Wine?!?

Oh, so many questions.....

 

[JessicaR]

We're not going to Olive Garden, right?

Not a chance, unless I'm not invited, then maybe.

 

[shoney]

We're not going to Olive Garden, right?

with unlimited salad and breadsticks it might be easier to "split the bill"

 

[sadiras]

We're not going to Olive Garden, right?

How about Pace's ... seperate checks, ok?

 

[mhsjax]

I understand that. In your case, just don't invite people to join you for dinner unless everyone knows what their dollar limit is. I would find that a bit awkward, but if you want Aunt Sally to pay for her own darn lobster tail, let her know upfront.

Why wouldn't Aunt Sally pay for her own lobster, unless I specifically told her I would. No one in my family or my friends would expect otherwise and to do so is beyond rude.

I don't invite people, we all get together and say everyone look at your calendars, lets pick a night for dinner. So inviting people to join us with a specific dollar amount really doesn't make any sense. We have all known each other for years and we typically go to the same few restaurants over and over again. There is now need for anyone to expect anyone else in the group to pay for anything that they didn't order.

Now, typically we will order an appetizer and say put if on our bill another person will order another and they say put it on our bill, and so on and same with wine, that is decided a head of time, so there are no hard feelings. It works out much better that way, no hard feelings and no one gets taken for more than they should.

 

[mhsjax]

LOL I guess I'll be the fool, not the first and I'm sure won't be the last time I've been labeled as such. Much worse things I can be. My money is a tool that I use to enjoy life, if I spent 4 hours with great friends having a great time then I'd say my contribution to that wine was well worth it. If the money brings me anxiety because god forbid aunt sally ate more expensive food then I'll stay home.

Anyhoo, I took the poster as saying simply what I was saying. We enjoy the fellowship

But as I said, I go out with like minded people so some days I'm the expensive dish, some days I am not. luckily no one has every felt put out or complained that they shouldn't have to chip in for the lobster I ate simply because they chose a less expensive dish. We simply wouldn't invite some one who did roll like this.
Sure I'll pick up Auntie Sally's lobster because it's a good bet she's picked up mine.

I don't think that makes me a fool, although obviously you do but as I said, if that's the worst of my sins....

Bon Appetite!

PS, I do want to apologize if you thought I was saying one way was better than another. That is and was not my intention. I was basically responded to a pattern of poster who felt "put out" or "taken advantage of" when this constantly happens. So my question sort of remains if you have some one in your life who is constantly doing this, what is the purpose of dining with them? Isn't sharing a meal supposed to be enjoyable?

I think what some of you all don't seem to understand is that we will and have on several occasions picked up the tab for someone, but it is a planned thing. Birthday dinners come to mind, or if just us an another couple, sure we will buy the wine even if the other couples drink it. We have been known to buy a couple of bottles and pay for them, ( good work bonus) And that was a way of celebrating with friends. But I would never want to assume or have any of my friends think that I assumed that they would ever feel they had to cover part of my meal because of trying to split a check evenly.

We LOVE going out with friends, and luckily our friends work the same way we do. I guess when you don't know the details of peoples lives, it is hard to get across. Like my friend who took me out tonight, and she paid, but she told me she was. We had her DD with my DH and my DD, he tool the girls out to dinner and paid. We do this on a routine basis. But when dinner's are a planned affair, with or without kids, we do go to fairly upscale to upscale restaurants and we are always asked by the server, when ordering, how we want to split up the checks. Usually they don't even ask if we want them split, they just assume. If someone is paying for more, they just say put it on mine. No cheapness, no hard feelings. We take care of each other on a day to day basis.

If you do it differently in your area then fine, but those of us that don't aren't cheap.

 

[mhsjax]

I'm coming into this late and I will read up. I live on LI if that matters and when we eat out with friends, family, there has never been an offer or a thought of separate checks. Thats an odd notion for me. I think I would be insulted.

And there you have it. All of you wondering why those of us that do get separate checks are defensive. "I would be insulted"

 

[phorsenuf]

I think what some of you all don't seem to understand is that we will and have on several occasions picked up the tab for someone, but it is a planned thing. Birthday dinners come to mind, or if just us an another couple, sure we will buy the wine even if the other couples drink it. We have been known to buy a couple of bottles and pay for them, ( good work bonus) And that was a way of celebrating with friends. But I would never want to assume or have any of my friends think that I assumed that they would ever feel they had to cover part of my meal because of trying to split a check evenly.

We LOVE going out with friends, and luckily our friends work the same way we do. I guess when you don't know the details of peoples lives, it is hard to get across. Like my friend who took me out tonight, and she paid, but she told me she was. We had her DD with my DH and my DD, he tool the girls out to dinner and paid. We do this on a routine basis. But when dinner's are a planned affair, with or without kids, we do go to fairly upscale to upscale restaurants and we are always asked by the server, when ordering, how we want to split up the checks. Usually they don't even ask if we want them split, they just assume. If someone is paying for more, they just say put it on mine. No cheapness, no hard feelings. We take care of each other on a day to day basis.

If you do it differently in your area then fine, but those of us that don't aren't cheap.

Exactly. If we go out with another couple, or I go out with a friend we trade off who picks up the check. If I take my parents or kids I'll pick up the check. When it is a group or 8 or 10 women going for dinner before a movie then it's separate checks. When I go out with the group the server always asks if we want separate checks. That's both here in FL and up in NH. Works great for us and I don't get why people are belittling others for that.

 

[JessicaR]

And there you have it. All of you wondering why those of us that do get separate checks are defensive. "I would be insulted"

Sorry, you are defensive. I honestly don't care at all what anyone else does.

 

[amg35]

And there you have it. All of you wondering why those of us that do get separate checks are defensive. "I would be insulted"

What's the big deal? I think it's weird to get separate checks, or worry about who ordered what. Not saying you are cheap or whatever, but it's very weird to me because we have never done it like that.

And what I do is weird/different to you.

No need to be defensive.