Spinoff, does money equal happiness?

[design_mom]

okay--follow-up question!

I see a lot of mentions about how stressful it is to live month to month and worry about bills and that having more money would make that go away.

At what point do you think that is likely to go away?

I ask because in my own life, I have known many families (not all) who lived paycheck to paycheck, but as raises and promotions came, with-in a few months they had upgraded their standard of living (maybe buying a bigger house, or one in a nicer neighborhood, buying a car, signing the kids up for more expensive activities, enrolling the kids in private school, etc)., and are right back to living paycheck to paycheck.

It seems to me, that often, once you pass a certain, not all that high threshold, most people are either good at living within their means, end up pushing it to the edge, or overspend, regardless of what those means are.

I know a lot of people like that too (who spend what they've got.) I am not one of those people. I am a saver. Knowing I have a "cushion" gives me comfort. Many of our peers have bigger houses, nicer cars, better vacations... and I'm okay with that. When I got laid off last year and could honestly tell my kids "don't worry, it'll be okay... we've saved money just in case something like this happens" it was all worth it to me.

I would not be happy living paycheck-to-paycheck no matter what my income level was. I am confident we could scale back from where we are now and still be happy. However, I would need more than "meeting basic needs" -- and I don't mean to spend. I'd want it to save. Knowing we have a "rainy day fund" makes me feel secure.

I think I could scale back farther than my husband could (he likes "stuff" more than I do), so I'm sure there's a limit for everyone. For me, my limit would be higher than 'basic needs met' but not as high as we are living now.

 

[eliza61]

Hi Tina! It is so nice to see you posting more often again. I love seeing you around here.



That is what I am trying to get at--if you have a base level of financial security (can eat, have safe housing, heat, medical care--but maybe not new clothes or vacations or nice cars)--beyond that amount, does more add to happiness or not?

I think it depends on what you do with it. being able to cut back on work (because basic needs are met) has allowed me to do other things. One is a lot of volunteer work, as crazy as it sounds I really enjoy it and it's enriched me more than i think any other thing has for a while. Now one thing about more wealth is that your "vacations" are imo more "experiences" as opposed to trying to recover from real life. Now it's not about going to disney and trying to squeeze every thing in because you may not be back. Now our trips are let's get the entire family together and spend the entire summer doing the civil rights tour so the kids get an example of what was sacrificed for them to be where they are. which means enough income to say to college students you do not have to work.

Inherently more wealth is not going to make an unhappy person happy but as some one else posted, it gives you more opportunity for experiences that may lead to happiness.

I also think that its some thing that changes based on your life experiences. I use to be one who would really think about spending because I always thought about the "rainy day". Well, I'm in the middle of a hurricane and all the money in the world is not going to change that, so now I donot deny myself some thing simply for the sake of "saving". right now I'm firmly on the side of "tomorrow is not promised and I'm not going to my grave saying I should, woulda coulda". In a few years circumstances may make me change my tune again.

 

[Acklander]

okay--follow-up question!

I see a lot of mentions about how stressful it is to live month to month and worry about bills and that having more money would make that go away.

At what point do you think that is likely to go away?

I ask because in my own life, I have known many families (not all) who lived paycheck to paycheck, but as raises and promotions came, with-in a few months they had upgraded their standard of living (maybe buying a bigger house, or one in a nicer neighborhood, buying a car, signing the kids up for more expensive activities, enrolling the kids in private school, etc)., and are right back to living paycheck to paycheck.

It seems to me, that often, once you pass a certain, not all that high threshold, most people are either good at living within their means, end up pushing it to the edge, or overspend, regardless of what those means are.

I worked for over 25 years in the financial field, so so a lot of people at their best, and their worst. I've learned that when it comes to money, some people like to live on the financial edge and on the other end there are people who like to hoard money. Most people fall somewhere in between. It's a personality thing, and don't think there is much you can do about it. That's why you hear about people who win a ton in the lottery and are broke a few years later. A bulk of the people playing the lotto enjoy gambling with their money.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I'd like to find out.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Money does not buy happiness. The richest guy I knew suffered from depression and ended up killing himself. However, I think you can't be happy without a certain basic level of financial "security".

 

[CammelleandBre]

For my parents money has definitely not made them happy. They are 2 of the most unhappiest people I know. And they have plenty of money. As for me, and my chosen career where you can make a lot of money, it has made me a happier person.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I have been stressed beyond belief due to medical bills and repair bills and so on. I can guess that the rich never have to worry about those things.

Also, I love to travel. I can't do as much as I would like due to the cost. I think that being able to travel when I want to would certainly make me happier.

Money is a great means to an end and as long as a person keeps the right attitude it can certainly contribute to happiness. All of those who don't want their money can certainly send it to me and I'll test this.

Planogirl you crack me up. Thanks for giving me my daily chuckle!

 

[Sam81]

Anybody tells you money is the root of all evil - doesn't have any. They say money can't buy happiness - look at the smile on my face, ear to ear baby.

You want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house. I have every toy you could ever imagine. And best of all kids - I am liquid.

 

[John VN]

Come on now..... If my bank account was 1/10,000 of Warren Buffet's worth, I would be one super happy camper.

 

[MrsPete]

Money cannot buy happiness, BUT lack of money is pretty much a guarantee of unhappiness.

In my own life, the people I know who are (or, who appear to be) middle or upper class financially seem to be at least content most of the time. If they're not happy, it seems to be based upon an event in their lives (kids are sick, tree fell on the house, whatever). In contrast, the people I know who are always struggling financially always seem to be stressed, constantly seem to be facing some crisis or another.

The most miserable time of my life was my teen years, when my dad abandoned us, and we were constantly doing without . . . well, everything. I've never understood all those country songs that extoll the virtues of their childhood families who " didn't know they were poor". That kind of takes a special kind of stupid. I knew when I had holes in my shoes, and I knew when I had no lunch! I'm not saying that a happy family and good health aren't treasures . . . But I also appreciate living in a house that has heat, driving a reliable car, and knowing that I can afford to pay my kid's college tuition.

As for pushing your kids towards a high-paying job, I think that's a moderately good idea. Today's teens face a rapidly changing world, and they aren't necessarily equipped to judge whether a job will be available, whether it'll pay a living wage, etc. It's not a favor to support a teen in following a dream that won't allow him to live a middle class life. Also, I think our kids are entering a world that is less forgiving than ever. We need to educate them about the importance of avoiding debt, saving for retirement, etc. Encouraging them towards jobs that will allow them to live comfortably is a part of that education. Don't stretch that into "used cars, EWWW" or similar, but I don't think my kids will be happy in the future if they are stressed about money.

 

[Caradana]

^ utter agreement w/Mrs Pete ... Excellently put

P.S. correlation between income and divorce?
http://www.ncfr.org/sites/default/files/downloads/news/jmf_july_2012_0.pdf

 

[clarkshel]

Anybody tells you money is the root of all evil - doesn't have any. They say money can't buy happiness - look at the smile on my face, ear to ear baby.

You want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house. I have every toy you could ever imagine. And best of all kids - I am liquid.

Wow. Who really cares that you have money. I know I don't. Bragging like you are doing just makes you look like a tool. :rolleyes.

 

[kimmar067]

So it got me thinking--I know there is the old saying "Money doesn't buy happiness" but how has that worked in your own life?

Have you been truly happier at times when you are the most well off financially?

Have you been unable to be happy when struggling financially (but let's assume still able to pay rent and eat and have medical care)?

...I wouldn't want to be 'stinkin' rich', but I'd like most of my bills to be paid up - I hate having to worry every single month how am I gonna pay THIS bill, or THAT bill, or whatever....I hate stressing over bills (yeah, I know that everyone does), but lately there have been other factors to stress about too (major upheaval in the education system in NJ and my future as an educator, my brother's serious life-threatening illness, my dog's recent illness and newly-diagnosed diabetes and her future prognosis, to name a few) and I really, really, REALLY need a long overdue vacay, which now has to be put on the back-burner [once again]....okay, sorry....vent over....

 

[Jennasis]

Clearly money doesn't equal class, grace, tact, or intelligence.

 

[LongLiveDisney]

Clearly money doesn't equal class, grace, tact, or intelligence.

Waiting for someone to say that. I would take class and grace over money any day of the week.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Money can be helpful when the major stress in your life is caused by expenses exceeding income.

But you can be poor and happy. Or rich and miserable. It all depends on your attitude. Compare, for example, Shane Claiborne and Donald Trump.

Although I suppose Trump may argue that he's happy. But he doesn't act like it.

 

[palmtreegirl]

NO money doesn't buy happiness. I've been on both sides of the coin and it took me a long time to learn that lesson. In the grand scheme of things money is nothing, it's a bunch of paper & coins it won't make you happy, lack of it won't take away your happiness either, I learned that in the past year.

My DH had a stroke caused by a spontaneous VAD (vertebral artery dissection) from his head jerking to the side when he swerved to avoid hitting a cat in the road. He was a healthy 42 year old man(great numbers) who ran 2.5 miles the day before. It changed our entire world and we are so thankful.

Before the stroke DH had a well paying job he hated. He'd come home trying to shake off the day he had and dread the weekend ending. He fought off being grumpy all the time because he was so miserable at work. Sure we could afford great vacations, eating out and lots of "stuff" but it so wasn't worth it. He was out of work for almost 4 months recovering and when he was ready to go back to work, he tried returning to his job, but he quickly realized he wasn't willing to trade happiness for money. He quit his job with nothing lined up and the next day he got a call about his current one and he took it.

Now DH is doing awesome, his new job makes about 1/2 of what he used to, but he loves it. He comes home happy, telling me stories of funny things that happened. Sure we've had to cut back- a lot and we can't afford the things we use to. There were times in the past year when DH was out of work recovering that I wondered how we would pay the bills or even buy groceries. But you know what it was soooo worth it. We're so much happier now.

To me Happiness=love and more importantly God is love. Without the Lord, I wouldn't have made it through the past year. I tell people all the time only God can take a stroke and turn it into so much good. So much so, that were so grateful it happened.

I don't post this to debate, I won't be back to do that. I'm just posting to answer the original question.

 

[Ember]

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable."
- Clare Boothe Luce

 

[mhsjax]

\

I believe the love of money is the route of all evil. I think the more money you have the more problems you have

YOu said it right there, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. If you are blessed and have money, that doesn't mean that you have problems. That is just silly. Now, do some people with money have problems and drama, heck yeah. I saw someone mention celebs, well I have my own thought on that, ( they are drama people to begin with, it is in their genes)

I also saw a poster look back with fond memories to a time when they didn't have much and how much they enjoyed the simple things. That is easily done, that is why people talk about with such fondness the forties and how women dressed and the music and all that jazz, ( my mom said don't let anyone fool you, we were at war and it was horrible) I often talk about when we were first married and we didn't have money but how much fun we had, yet if I had to go back NO THANK YOU.

NOw I have never had a ton of money, but there was a time when we were doing ver well, it was fantastic. Now it is different, things are much tighter. Nothing else has changed, and I can tell you I was happier when we had extra. The stress of what is going to happen next just wasn't there and that causes major unhappiness, you just feel very unsettled. Sometimes it isn't about material things.

In the long and short of it all, I don't think you can really answer that question with a yes or no. My DH had a job he loved and made GREAT money, but if you hate your job then that money has too high of a price. If you don't have someone to love you that money means nothing. Like I said, no way to say yes or no to that question, too many variables.

 

[ez]

WE have a middle class home in a nice neighborhood which cost under 150,000 and 2 cars 2005, 2009. I am super content with all this. We rarely vacation anymore, to us a vacation is staying overnight visiting our daughter at college. Again, this is fine by me I am grateful for what we have. Years ago when I was in a job I hated we had lots of money and I was always buying "stuff" we really didn't need. It was like I was always rewarding myself for working this job that was sucking the life out of me. I left that job almost 8 years ago, and its funny but I dont need all that stuff anymore. Fact is, I am on a mission to deaccumulate stuff and simplify.

My father in law died a few years back and left a will that severely slighted my husband but left a small amount to our special needs son in a trust that now disqualifies him from any benefits due to his disablility. This was like a double whammy to us, and I had never experienced the ugliness it brought out in, even me for a short time. I had never experienced a feeling of people using money to "control" people (even after death) or punish people. Yuck. I look at money and wealth very very differently now. I used to envy my friends who had beautiful homes and also huge vacation homes. Now I can honestly say I wouldnt want the burden and appreciate what I do have.