Spin off- Vow Renewal?

[Mickey's Minion]

I know this sounds rude but ok you didn't have the wedding of your choice. Get over it. You got the husband of your choice.

Put me in the thumbs down vow renewal party category.

I don't have a problem at all with the idea of vow renewals. It may be important to pledge your love again with your husband/wife.

However, since you are reaffirming your vows, this should be a private event between husband and wife.

There is a huge difference between a vow renewal and a wedding re-do just because you weren't happy with the party the first time.

If you are trying to recreate the wedding of your dreams, it is now not a vow renewal, but a wedding/reception redo and has nothing to do with renewing your vows and pledging your love again.

 

[DisneyKT]

My husband and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary this year. When we got married, I did not have the wedding I wanted but that happens in life, a lot. For our anniversary, we wanted to do something different that was a celebration for the two of us. Neither of us would even consider a vow renewal; that seems more like a spectacle than a celebration.

We are going to Egypt on vacation. I think standing, holding hands, looking at the pyramids, is perfect. It's a wonder we made it 25 years so looking at another wonder kind of fits.

Congratulations. Have a great time.

 

[alexandria674]

My husband and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary this year. When we got married, I did not have the wedding I wanted but that happens in life, a lot. For our anniversary, we wanted to do something different that was a celebration for the two of us. Neither of us would even consider a vow renewal; that seems more like a spectacle than a celebration.

We are going to Egypt on vacation. I think standing, holding hands, looking at the pyramids, is perfect. It's a wonder we made it 25 years so looking at another wonder kind of fits.

That sounds so sweet and romantic.

 

[JoBird]

Vow renewals are only important to the ones who are renewing them.

If it's truly about renewing the vows themselves, then that can be done on any day, anywhere with yourself and your spouse. No one else needs to be involved in YOUR vows.

 

[Stephanie218]

We had a vow renewal at 1.5 years, so that's probably one of the more random ones out there

DH and I had a very small wedding in CA with only my sister & his best friend present. He was deploying to Iraq a few months late, I was still in college, and all of our family lives in CT. No way was I planning a wedding cross-country while writing/defending my thesis that semester dealing with my first deployment.

Both of our parents were fine with us eloping as long as we did a big ceremony/party back east after he was home.

He got home the following March, and we had a small renewal ceremony in June with about 60 close friends/family members at a historic house an hour from our hometown. We had a champagne brunch following that - no big party or anything, but it was very relaxed.

We didn't personally even feel like having a renewal was necessary, but we really did this more for our parents than anything. I didn't want my mom to feel like she missed out on her oldest daughter's wedding.

This is pretty common with military families since it's extremely difficult to plan events a year out. I was planning on a vacation to Maine this summer, but luckily didn't make reservations because DH got orders for Afghanistan 2 months out and is gone already.

I have seen some odd renewals though. I had a non-military related friend whose mother was a minister. This couple had been dating for 6 years already, and was engaged and moving away for him to attend law school. The mother threw a fit that the couple was going to move in together without being married, and married them herself over the summer. Their December "wedding" turned into a "renewal" since they had married 6 months prior before moving, and it was just extremely weird.

 

[TangaroaTiki]

I understand wanting to renew your vows with your DH, but why in the world do you feel the need to invite other people????? Everyones lives are busy enough.

We have been married over 30 years and trust me, anyone who has been married that long has had some really good years and many years that they were ready to call it quits. I think its something for just you and your DH to celebrate, and not have to make a show for other people.

So agree, I'm with my DH for 25 years, married for 17 years. We celebrate anniversaries with each other and that is special in itself I would never consider a vow renewal or bothering family/friends with attending one.

 

[TangaroaTiki]

Vow renewals are only important to the ones who are renewing them.

If it's truly about renewing the vows themselves, then that can be done on any day, anywhere with yourself and your spouse. No one else needs to be involved in YOUR vows.

Very well said

 

[SunnyP4Disney]

We plan on renewing our vows on our 20th anniversary. I'm doing it because I want a fancy vacation to somewhere exotic (think Fiji, Bora Bora) with just my husband and my son. Just the 3 of us as a family, no one else. I want DS to see the love and commitment we had the day on our wedding is still alive and burning 20 years later. I don't need others around us, we had that at the wedding and it was nothing but drama. We have been married over 13 years.

I don't begrudge others VRs, just don't invite me to have a big party and to get a present. Sometimes I think alot of them are for show, no substance.

 

[Nancyg56]

I know this sounds rude but ok you didn't have the wedding of your choice. Get over it. You got the husband of your choice.

You post on a message board, you are bound to get a reply aren't you? This board may not have been about "you" but brought other examples of vow renewals to the mind of posters.I don't give a fiddler's fart about your vow renewal I just told you my blank point opinion, take it for what it is worth.

Wow. I can understand not agreeing with the OP. I can understand discussing why your opinion differs. I cannot understand nastiness.

 

[Dancemom03]

If it really is all about the attention then I would have had mine at HOME where all the relatives would have been invited. AND friends and People I don't even know!!!!

And we have had 30 years. Some up some down, but we are still very happy thank you very much

My commentary was in general and I was thinking mostly about 5, 10, 15 grand scale or destination renewals and the folks who get upset b/c not everyone plans their year around being there. If you want to celebrate with a VR, heck go ahead, I'll even send a card. I am of the opinion that VRs are between the husband & wife - not the community in general. I agree with Pakey that, for me, VRs on a grand scale seem more like a spectacle than a celebration.

We celebrated our 33rd anniversary yesterday and can agree from experience that some years are better than others. I'd enjoy a party, a trip, some time alone, maybe even a quiet VR alone with our priest on our 40th or 50th, but I won't be upset if it doesn't happen either. After being together since high school, we can cherish our time together and reaffirm our committment with or without company.

To me, there are lots of important reasons to have a VR - the most touching for me is a couple remarrying in the catholic church b/c the first wedding was not in a church. To witness a VR sanctioned by the church would be a priority on my calendar. So would the VR of a wedding celebration rushed/delayed by military assignments or other circumstances. To witness a destination VR of someone just recently married with all the pomp & circumstance the first time though just seems more about the party than the sacrament.

 

[connorlevismom]

So, you are having a Disney ceremony because you didn't get the wedding you wanted the first time around? If you had wanted it that bad, why didn't you pay for your own wedding? Worked, put it off and then have the wedding of your dreams? Why blame your parents because you didn't work to save for your wedding. You aren't owed a wedding because it didn't go your way. If you wanted it your way in the first place, you could have worked towards it. No offense, but this does not seem to be a "vow renewal" in which you express your love for one another, but another chance to have this overblown wedding.

I am getting married and have been engaged for a while, more then my friends however, the reason why we are putting it off is because we are working to put the money away for the wedding , to make the decisions without any real interference.I guess you could say we want to do the wedding right the first time around.

I would actually answer that but since you need to take others ideas and post them here so that you can talk about them somewhere else, I am not going to acknowledge it. Get a life.

My husband and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary this year. When we got married, I did not have the wedding I wanted but that happens in life, a lot. For our anniversary, we wanted to do something different that was a celebration for the two of us. Neither of us would even consider a vow renewal; that seems more like a spectacle than a celebration.
We are going to Egypt on vacation. I think standing, holding hands, looking at the pyramids, is perfect. It's a wonder we made it 25 years so looking at another wonder kind of fits.

Anything that my family would do is a spectacle. Hell, even if we all went to church together it would be a spectacle because my family takes up three rows. You cannot help having large events with a large family. And if I did this and did not invite family, they would be hurt. My family is really close.

Kristine

 

[alexandria674]

I would actually answer that but since you need to take others ideas and post them here so that you can talk about them somewhere else, I am not going to acknowledge it. Get a life.



Kristine

Actually, reel it back. I asked a general question and since you have chosen not to answer I can only assume that you probably don't know why yourself or that you choose not to answer because...hmmm...why? It's a mere question. Wait. Back. Shallowness,now I figured it out. Also, I do "have a life" and that is making sure I don't blame others for things that I can attain myself.

P.S. What other person's ideas? Please, elaborate. I was the only person on this thread that mentioned this.

 

[sunnyday123]

Put me in the thumbs down vow renewal party category.

I don't have a problem at all with the idea of vow renewals. It may be important to pledge your love again with your husband/wife.

However, since you are reaffirming your vows, this should be a private event between husband and wife.

There is a huge difference between a vow renewal and a wedding re-do just because you weren't happy with the party the first time.

If you are trying to recreate the wedding of your dreams, it is now not a vow renewal, but a wedding/reception redo and has nothing to do with renewing your vows and pledging your love again.

It should be about the marriage, not the wedding. Life doesn't always work out the way you want it to.

 

[ElliePeters]

It means different things to people. If you had serious issues in your marriage, it is redidicating your vows to each other and God. For some they had didn't enjoy how they did it the first time, and would like to do it another way. If people want to do it, its their life, and everyone should follow what makes them happy.

 

[PixieTopaz]

Since this question is about me, I will tell you.

When DH and I got married, we wanted a Disney with only family and close friends.
Kristine

Really? Nine years ago-when you married-Disney Weddings were NOT the big deal think they are today-not by a long shot.
I cant imagine longing for something that few people did?

 

[SydSim]

Having a VR,and inviting people, to me is no different than having a huge 50th birthday party, even though you may have had a 30th one as well.

I had a smallish wedding, that I paid for myself. There were things that I wanted to do differently (like time of year and venue), but couldn't manage to pull off at the time.

A wedding, with the whole gown, limo, reception/open bar, is more than the couple confirming their love for one another. It's a show in itself, so why not say that everyone should just go to the justice of the peace in the first place, if it's only about the couple?

I would love to have a vr for my 20th - I want to have it in October (like I orignally wanted) and to do it all on a chartered yacht! I would pay for it all, of course, and not expect gifts. To be able to play dress up again would be a blast. To have friends there that I didn't even know 20 years ago would also be a blast! To have Dd there - pricless!

If I could only afford a small condo when I was first looking to buy a house, I may want a bigger and better house 10 years later (don't quite understand the "sorry, you had your shot the first time" way of thinking). I did what I could at the time, now I can do things the way I want!

And believe you me, my marriage is the BOMB! Oops, was that one of those words that people hate to hear

 

[connorlevismom]

Really? Nine years ago-when you married-Disney Weddings were NOT the big deal think they are today-not by a long shot.
I cant imagine longing for something that few people did?

Really? Because I remember that weding pavillion being there for a VERY long time. I remember looking at it and the GF everytime I went to Disney and dreaming of getting married there. So please don't try and tell me what I have always wanted. The GF, to me, is a very important memory for me and I have always wanted to stay there. As a little girl it looked like a fairytale.

Kristine

 

[Disneycrazy!!]

Dh and i have thought of renewing our WV in a few years. The reason is because we never had a wedding. We just went to a tiny wedding chapel by ourselves and got married. No family or friends were present and they didn't know until after it was done.
I don't like being the center of attention, so who knows if we will renew our vows or not.

 

[PixieTopaz]

Really?

Because I remember that weding pavillion being there for a VERY long time. I remember looking at it and the GF everytime I went to Disney and dreaming of getting married there. So please don't try and tell me what I have always wanted.

The GF, to me, is a very important memory for me and I have always wanted to stay there.

As a little girl it looked like a fairytale.

Kristine

It was built in 1995-you married 5 years later

 

[krcit]

I don't understand all the judgement on here?? I'm married 16 years, some good, some not so good and some pretty bad. I'm not into vow renewal for myself and DH but I don't understand why people care about what others do. If you're not into VR and you get an invitation, don't go Seems pretty simple to me. I'm 40 years old, I no longer do things I don't want to. I got aninvitation for my cousins 5th wedding anniversary party with a request for a donation towards a gift they wanted I RSVP'd no, made a snarky remark to my DH and that was the end of it. If someone wants to celebrate their marriage with VR, then more power to them..congrats but I probably won't attend.