Spin off- Vow Renewal?

[connorlevismom]

Since this question is about me, I will tell you.

When DH and I got married, we wanted a Disney with only family and close friends. My mom would not have it, and since she was paying for it, she got her way. I got married in a church with abot 300 people present and it was just to much. While I appreciated that my parents paid for it, it was not what I wanted and a lot of those people that were there, I did not barely know. They were friends of my parents and friends of DH's parents.

After that day we said that on our 10 year anniversary we were going to do it our way. Now we are coming up on that 10 years and we are able to do it, so we are. We want only family there, but only family who wants to come. I do not expect anyone to go, but will apprciate those who do. It is not about attention, it is about having the wedding that we wanted to have.

I do not understand people who say that your relationship much be rocky if you need to do a vow renewal. How do you have any idea? Maybe they just want to do something really special to them.

Kristine

 

[Cornhusk]

Since this question is about me, I will tell you.

When DH and I got married, we wanted a Disney with only family and close friends. My mom would not have it, and since she was paying for it, she got her way. I got married in a church with abot 300 people present and it was just to much. While I appreciated that my parents paid for it, it was not what I wanted and a lot of those people that were there, I did not barely know. They were friends of my parents and friends of DH's parents.

After that day we said that on our 10 year anniversary we were going to do it our way. Now we are coming up on that 10 years and we are able to do it, so we are. We want only family there, but only family who wants to come. I do not expect anyone to go, but will apprciate those who do. It is not about attention, it is about having the wedding that we wanted to have.

I do not understand people who say that your relationship much be rocky if you need to do a vow renewal. How do you have any idea? Maybe they just want to do something really special to them.

Kristine

I know this sounds rude but ok you didn't have the wedding of your choice. Get over it. You got the husband of your choice.

 

[connorlevismom]

I know this sounds rude but ok you didn't have the wedding of your choice. Get over it. You got the husband of your choice.

Well this may sound rude but it has nothing to do with you so why do you care so much about it? Why does it matter to yo WHY I want to have one?

My family does not think it is odd at all and they are the only ones I care about.

Kristine

 

[nmmom95]

I don't get it either but to each their own. I said "I Do" once almost 23 years ago and that hasn't changed so why do it again??

I think of Jon & Kate spending all that money (probably TLC's) to go to Hawaii to renew their vows and look at them now!

Dh & I don't usually make a big deal out of our anniversary either except to go out to eat - and we usually bring the kids. We also don't go away without our kids but that is our choice. Our anniversary is in June so there have been a couple of times we were all at Disney and that was fun.

Whatever floats your boat...

Jill

Count me in the "don't see the point" camp. We will be married 15 years this September. We also don't go away without our kids, and since our anniversary is close to the beginning of the school year, we are never away for the actual day. Although, for our 10th we wanted to do something special, so we bought DVC!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I'm not a fan of VR's either, especially the celebrity ones some have every year they are married.

Like Heidi Klum and Seal.

I dont get them either! It seems to me that when people have vow renewals that they are doing it to prove something.

Ditto!

I think they're more meaningful with it's just the couple, rather than a spectacle, but to each their own.

We wanted to. It was DH's idea. He wanted to do it on our 25th anniversary. I thought it was VERY silly at that time. Fast forward 5 years and we had our renewal with our kids and my BFF and her DH. It was wonderful.
We did ours on a cruise. It was great.

We didn't do it for anyone else, just for us Sure was nice to have the kids and BFF there though!

That sounds really nice!

For our 25th, we went to Victoria and Albert's, courtesy of our children.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

Guess I don't really understand the whole VR elaborate shin-dig, either, especially if you haven't been married all that long (under 15, 20 years) and already had any kind of elaborate wedding to begin with. Yeah, I could see if it's just the husband and wife like on the beach in private (as a previous PP said), but these fancy-pants crazy expensive VR's at places like Disney is, IMO at least, pretty obnoxious. And to expect family and friends to shell out all sorts of $$$ to witness the vows again is even more nauseating.

Sign of the times and the "it's all about meee" mentality.

Sad.

 

[Cornhusk]

Well this may sound rude but it has nothing to do with you so why do you care so much about it? Why does it matter to yo WHY I want to have one?

My family does not think it is odd at all and they are the only ones I care about.

Kristine

You post on a message board, you are bound to get a reply aren't you? This board may not have been about "you" but brought other examples of vow renewals to the mind of posters.I don't give a fiddler's fart about your vow renewal I just told you my blank point opinion, take it for what it is worth.

 

[connorlevismom]

Another reason we are doing it at 10 years is because my parents are old. They are the ones that made me fall in love with Disney as a child, so I really want them to be there with us. If I waited another 5 or 10 years, I don't think that my dad would be there with us and it would not be the same without him there.

Kristine

 

[Boxley]

Another reason we are doing it at 10 years is because my parents are old. They are the ones that made me fall in love with Disney as a child, so I really want them to be there with us. If I waited another 5 or 10 years, I don't think that my dad would be there with us and it would not be the same without him there.

Kristine

Sorry to hear about your parents. However, they technically already saw you on your "big day", that really doesn't make the point of why it is necessary to have a vow renewal.

 

[Disneyrsh]

I like the idea of celebrating anniversaries much better.

That way you're celebrating "walking the walk", instead of a ceremony where everyone gets Crybabyitis and "talks the talk".

 

[crz4mm2]

Looks like we have two camps (IMAGINE THAT on the DIS???). Those who don't understand, don't want to understand and don't "like" VR and those who do.

To each their own. Those of us who have done it, or will do it can't understand those who don't.

Those who don't, can't understand those of us that do.

Fair enough.

(ps, our VR WAS celebrating our anniversary)

 

[Snowysmom]

I also don't understand vow renewals. I said my vows 33 years ago and they still stand as far as we are concerned. But, if someone did not have the wedding that they wanted, I could see wanting to have the celebration that you want on a special anniversary. We celebrated our 25th anniversary with a family vacation to Disney. Since we honeymooned at Disney when it was just Magic Kingdom, it seemed like an appropriate trip. Minnie and Mickey even left us an autographed picture. I wish our 35th in 2011 could be at Disney but I think we will be going on a cruise to also celebrate older DS graduating from medical school. Double the celebration!

 

[connorlevismom]

Sorry to hear about your parents. However, they technically already saw you on your "big day", that really doesn't make the point of why it is necessary to have a vow renewal.

No, I know. I was explaining why some people might do it sooner than the 15 or 20 years that most people think you should wait. If I waited that long (and we did talk about doing it later), my dad would probably not be with us. So maybe people can see why some people might do it sooner than 20 years and it has nothing to do with how "solid" their relationship is.

Kristine

 

[4greatboys]

Looks like we have two camps (IMAGINE THAT on the DIS???). Those who don't understand, don't want to understand and don't "like" VR and those who do.

To each their own. Those of us who have done it, or will do it can't understand those who don't.

Those who don't, can't understand those of us that do.

Fair enough.

(ps, our VR WAS celebrating our anniversary)

I agree. If you want to have one then have it and if you don't then don't. I would like to have one sometime. We honeymooned in Hawaii and it would be nice to have a small one there with our kids.
No one else needs to understand or approve.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I've not had one and have no desire to have one.

I can see having one after a "set back" in a marriage, but I don't really understand them, otherwise. I'm not knocking those who have them, but I just don't really get it.

 

[Dancemom03]

My thought is if you have to renew them, they weren't going that great. I always thought it was a personal thing between the couple if after having some issues, they worked through them and wanted to have a ceremony.

Now I just think it's about the attention.

What she said...

... and if you just want the attention, please don't ask me to attend your VR for less than 20 yrs unless you're my parent or my child...

 

[crz4mm2]

What she said...

... and if you just want the attention, please don't ask me to attend your VR for less than 20 yrs unless you're my parent or my child...

If it really is all about the attention then I would have had mine at HOME where all the relatives would have been invited. AND friends and People I don't even know!!!!

And we have had 30 years. Some up some down, but we are still very happy thank you very much

 

[alexandria674]

Since this question is about me, I will tell you.

When DH and I got married, we wanted a Disney with only family and close friends. My mom would not have it, and since she was paying for it, she got her way. I got married in a church with abot 300 people present and it was just to much. While I appreciated that my parents paid for it, it was not what I wanted and a lot of those people that were there, I did not barely know. They were friends of my parents and friends of DH's parents.

After that day we said that on our 10 year anniversary we were going to do it our way. Now we are coming up on that 10 years and we are able to do it, so we are. We want only family there, but only family who wants to come. I do not expect anyone to go, but will apprciate those who do. It is not about attention, it is about having the wedding that we wanted to have.

Kristine

So, you are having a Disney ceremony because you didn't get the wedding you wanted the first time around? If you had wanted it that bad, why didn't you pay for your own wedding? Worked, put it off and then have the wedding of your dreams? Why blame your parents because you didn't work to save for your wedding. You aren't owed a wedding because it didn't go your way. If you wanted it your way in the first place, you could have worked towards it. No offense, but this does not seem to be a "vow renewal" in which you express your love for one another, but another chance to have this overblown wedding.

I am getting married and have been engaged for a while, more then my friends however, the reason why we are putting it off is because we are working to put the money away for the wedding , to make the decisions without any real interference.I guess you could say we want to do the wedding right the first time around.

 

[Pakey]

My husband and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary this year. When we got married, I did not have the wedding I wanted but that happens in life, a lot. For our anniversary, we wanted to do something different that was a celebration for the two of us. Neither of us would even consider a vow renewal; that seems more like a spectacle than a celebration.

We are going to Egypt on vacation. I think standing, holding hands, looking at the pyramids, is perfect. It's a wonder we made it 25 years so looking at another wonder kind of fits.

 

[JessicaWakefield]

How can you possibly think that because two people want to celebrate their love again, then that means their relationship isn't good? Oh, yeah, that's right because idiots like Jon and Kate didn't work out. Wouldn't it seem that the people that have not-so-great relationships would shun the idea of renewing their vows?