Spending money...

[tosha27]

No. It is all just speculation on the original poster's part as to whether the mother wants gifts or not.

Personally, I would NOT want gifts from my ex's vacations. Of course, he never took our son on vacation, so I never had to worry about it (he once told me kids of divorce should not be allowed to have fun). But if he had, I would not want anything. My husband and I take our kids on vacation quite a bit (Disney just three times in the 13 years we have been together - we susually do Chicago, Gettysburg, etc.) My son asked once to get something for his dad. I think he was about 7. We let him pick something and WE paid for it.

My ex kidnapped my son in 2005. I didn't know where he was for a week and a half. He also beat the crap out of him two summer ago. My son now has a restraining order against his father until he turns 18 (this August). I couldn't be more disgusted by a person than I am with my ex. However, if my son wanted to get something for his dad while we were on vacation, I would help him find something and pay for it.

Kids should not be punished for the mistakes their parents have made in their lives.

I agree.
Hmm, Do we have the same ex? My son also has a no contact order against his father who abused him. My heart goes out to you, I can't imagine how you were feeling when your son was kidnapped. My ex threatened to kidnap both of my children (one of them is not his) and even called our son's school and made these threats. Thankfully he did not carry through. Anyhow, my son has not seen or spoken to his father since those incidents in 2008 and like you, I could not be more disgusted with him, but if for some reason my son wanted to buy a gift or card for his father, myself or my husband (his stepfather) would grit our teeth and help him find and purchase something.

 

[Missy13d69]

Man oh man, I could not make it through this one. I think I might have made it to page 16 or 19 before I started losing brain cells.

The souvenir issue is REALLY REALLY bugging me....

I am just dying to find out one thing, did we ever find out if the Mom had requested family souvenirs somewhere in pages 19-32?

We aren't the type of family that brings back souvenirs for each other at all, so I found the seriousness of this whole souvenir thing a little strange. Who on earth sends money with their kids on a trip and says now bring us all back something? That is not "spending money," that is "buy other people gifts" money. Completely different. If the kid chooses to buy a gift then fine, if not then fine - that is spending money.

Step families or not, kids go on trips without their brothers and sisters all the time (school, clubs, etc.), and since when is it mandatory to bring the entire rest of the family a gift?? I mean I know it is a nice gesture to bring back gifts, but the way it has been described in this post made it sound mandatory. I mean is this common practice? Do people normally give their kids "spending money" and require that they spend part of it buying gifts?

I want to know why OP is so hellbent on the biological mom sending money to buy herself and the rest of the family souvenirs from THEIR trip. Maybe they do not want souvenirs from your trip or just do not care either way?! In any case, WHY does it matter. If your stepdaughters choose not to buy souvenirs for their family members with their spending money, then what does it matter? I mean WHY do you even care?!?!?!

It just boggles my mind.

Carry on.

Yeah, I don't quite get the souvenir thing either. I always thought souvenirs were something you bought yourself to keep as a memory of someplace you have been...I've never expected a souvenir, or particularly wanted the ones I got, if someone I knew went on vacation. When my mom went to Disney 8 years ago, I requested a stuffed Stitch from the park, but that was because I LOVE Stitch.

I can understand kids wanting to buy a gift for someone they love though, because kids are just like that.

 

[Mommyofthreewchicks]

As someone who had to be a mother to three teenagers who are also my hubby's siblings, I treated money on trips like my folks before me or what I expected to do for my own kids. I set aside how much we could for the extras and then split it between the three... If they chose to give to others great, if they wanted it for their own pockets great or if they wanted to use the money for something for themselves that was also great.

As for expecting the other parent to contribute~ no I would not expect it. Would I if I was the other parent probably but I would also be expecting the parent who is bringing the children to also budget for a few items for the kids. I would not expect anything more than a post card and phone call from my children.

I also found shirts or hats or something fun in which I purchased for the kids, I knew they wouldn't spend their money on such items and even the boys liked that I tried hard to find them the perfect thing.

 

[mvazul]

I agree.
Hmm, Do we have the same ex? My son also has a no contact order against his father who abused him. My heart goes out to you, I can't imagine how you were feeling when your son was kidnapped. My ex threatened to kidnap both of my children (one of them is not his) and even called our son's school and made these threats. Thankfully he did not carry through. Anyhow, my son has not seen or spoken to his father since those incidents in 2008 and like you, I could not be more disgusted with him, but if for some reason my son wanted to buy a gift or card for his father, myself or my husband (his stepfather) would grit our teeth and help him find and purchase something.

That's scary to think there could be two cut from the same mold.