Spending money...

[gert]

i guess i would be a little more compassionate, generous, loving (than most of you) knowing my children would bring something back for their half siblings... Whats the harm in that?

There's no harm in their mom giving them money to spend. But there's also no harm in their mom NOT giving them money to spend.

That's just my opinion, as a less compassionate, less generous, and less loving parent than you.

 

[declansdad]

there is no harm and i'm sure i said a gazillon times that we will make sure they bring something home for them... whether they do it on their own or if we have to do for them...

i know I would give my son money to pick those items up if we was to go on a trip like this with his dad... his father shouldn't have to worry about him having to buy something for my kids that i choose to have with someone else...

i guess i would be a little more compassionate, generous, loving (than most of you) knowing my children would bring something back for their half siblings... Whats the harm in that?

OMG!!!

Where have you read in this thread people telling you that they wouldn't bring things back for the other kids. You really can't be that blind! If anything, your posts have portrayed that you feel that way.

If they can't pay for themselves too bad.

If they spend all their own money on others and have nothing left for themselves, too bad.

Those are the types of statements you have expressed in this thread.

 

[STAYC18]

Absolutely not. In that case, any monetary needs for the girls should come out of his share. I assume the child support for the girls comes out of just his account?

But, please don't think that you are funding this vacation completely by yourself. I bet your DH would not be thrilled to see that you are saying you are paying every dime of the vacation. Your DH's share of the mortgage, car payment etc. allows for the extra money on vacation. Keeping things too separate and comparing aren't the best thing for a marriage.

Again, as I have said at 7 and 11 I (personally) would not give my children any spending money. They are old enough to earn it and learn the value of a dollar at that age. Plus, I hate clutter and the more souvenir's they get the more clutter there is.

As was discussed earlier, I think your chart where the girls can earn the money is great. However, have a discussion with them that this is their budget for the entire vacation. They can spend as they choose but when it's gone it's gone so they may want to come up with a list of people they want to buy for and write down a figure they want to spend on each person. There is an under $10 store in DtD that is pretty good.

I am funding all of this trip.(Which has nothing to with anything on here). My husband will make sure his girls have the money they need to spend..we will be in charge of them..if they ask me for something you bet my answer will be "go ask your father"...i still have to pay my part in the bills at home... No one understands Disney is what I love, he's never been and has no clue what to expect...he can't understand why you pay so much to go to Disney...like i said before he rather stay home and do **** around town...BORING... I told him last night, if you don't like it you don't have to go again, but believe me I will be going back with my son (and i would probably bring my step kids too, but THEIR mother would never allow it, at least until way into their teens). Sorry I paid a mortage in Disney for 5 years and i'm not giving it up...so if i have to fund the whole thing, thats what i'm gonna do..

 

[STAYC18]

OMG!!!

Where have you read in this thread people telling you that they wouldn't bring things back for the other kids. You really can't be that blind! If anything, your posts have portrayed that you feel that way.

If they can't pay for themselves too bad.

If they spend all their own money on others and have nothing left for themselves, too bad.

Those are the types of statements you have expressed in this thread.

thats right they get what they get...they are not gonna go thru their spending money and then keep asking for more...no way, that is ridiculous...

 

[declansdad]

thats right they get what they get...they are not gonna go thru their spending money and then keep asking for more...no way, that is ridiculous...

You haven't paid much attention to anything in this thread have you. I feel sorry for you and your family. I hope the girls' real mother doesn't have the issues you seem to have.

 

[mjkacmom]

so he should pay for his ex's kids to get something for them from their sisters...

Or, maybe, he should give money to HIS DAUGHTERS to get something for their siblings.

 

[declansdad]

Or, maybe, he should give money to HIS DAUGHTERS to get something for their siblings.

It is a lost cause, she doesn't seem to understand that point.

 

[STAYC18]

You haven't paid much attention to anything in this thread have you. I feel sorry for you and your family. I hope the girls' real mother doesn't have the issues you seem to have.

well you must give your children unlimited spending when at Disney... well good for you...

 

[mvazul]

Absolutely not. In that case, any monetary needs for the girls should come out of his share. I assume the child support for the girls comes out of just his account?

But, please don't think that you are funding this vacation completely by yourself. I bet your DH would not be thrilled to see that you are saying you are paying every dime of the vacation. Your DH's share of the mortgage, car payment etc. allows for the extra money on vacation. Keeping things too separate and comparing aren't the best thing for a marriage.

Again, as I have said at 7 and 11 I (personally) would not give my children any spending money. They are old enough to earn it and learn the value of a dollar at that age. Plus, I hate clutter and the more souvenir's they get the more clutter there is.

As was discussed earlier, I think your chart where the girls can earn the money is great. However, have a discussion with them that this is their budget for the entire vacation. They can spend as they choose but when it's gone it's gone so they may want to come up with a list of people they want to buy for and write down a figure they want to spend on each person. There is an under $10 store in DtD that is pretty good.

Very good post!

OMG!!!

Where have you read in this thread people telling you that they wouldn't bring things back for the other kids. You really can't be that blind! If anything, your posts have portrayed that you feel that way.

If they can't pay for themselves too bad.

If they spend all their own money on others and have nothing left for themselves, too bad.

Those are the types of statements you have expressed in this thread.

Her posts SCREAM resentment and anger. I would not say she hates the girls, but she most definitely resents the fact they are in her life, taking up space and money that should only go to her son. Unfortunately, if she keeps this up, she will know what it's like to be on the other side of the coin.

 

[STAYC18]

Or, maybe, he should give money to HIS DAUGHTERS to get something for their siblings.

yay their geting spending money and can do what ever they want with it...

So once they spend all THEIR money he is suppose to keep giving them more?

What happen to budgeting and make wise choices...

 

[STAYC18]

Very good post!



Her posts SCREAM resentment and anger. I would not say she hates the girls, but she most definitely resents the fact they are in her life, taking up space and money that should only go to her son. Unfortunately, if she keeps this up, she will know what it's like to be on the other side of the coin.

ok cuz we don't just dish out money every time any of the kids want something...

 

[gert]

yay their geting spending money and can do what ever they want with it...

So once they spend all THEIR money he is suppose to keep giving them more?

What happen to budgeting and make wise choices...

No one said anything about him giving them unlimited money....

Are you going to just keep giving your son spending money on the trip, or are you going to set a reasonable limit for him and say "when that's gone, it's gone!"

Why can't the same be done for the daughters? I don't understand why there's a difference.

 

[Alesia]

well you must give your children unlimited spending when at Disney... well good for you...

You are really missing the point. There are moments that I think you're starting to get what people are trying to say, but then you get defensive and self-righteous again. The people that you think are attacking you are actually trying to help you, but you would rather be "right" than to have peace in your family. I think that's sad, but it's your choice.

 

[ccgirl]

No one said anything about him giving them unlimited money....

Are you going to just keep giving your son spending money on the trip, or are you going to set a reasonable limit for him and say "when that's gone, it's gone!"

Why can't the same be done for the daughters? I don't understand why there's a difference.

OP - you need to read the posts. Nobody is saying to keep giving them money. They are saying to have a discussion about budgeting with the girls when it's gone it's gone...too bad so sad!

 

[mvazul]

ok cuz we don't just dish out money every time any of the kids want something...

That is NOT what anyone is saying. Responsible parents don't just "dish out money every time any of the kids want something". Trust me, it's all of the other stuff you have said that has brought me to my conclusion - in this thread and others. You are extremely defensive - even after so many people have given you very sound advice and suggestions. You twist everything to fit what YOU want to see.

You are deliberately arguing instead of taking a step back, re-reading this thread and seeing that so many are trying to help. You asked a question. Your original question was most definitely filled with resentment. You got answers to your question. It is not our fault you don't like the answers.

And I will ask you, again, how would your husband feel if he read this entire thread - or others that you have posted (you know, about not even wanting to take the girls in the first place)? I am not talking about your original question. How would he feel if he saw, in black and white, 21+ pages of your true feelings for his girls?

 

[STAYC18]

No one said anything about him giving them unlimited money....

Are you going to just keep giving your son spending money on the trip, or are you going to set a reasonable limit for him and say "when that's gone, it's gone!"

Why can't the same be done for the daughters? I don't understand why there's a difference.

you need to read the whole thread...

i was gonna give all 3 kids the same amount... but everyone shot that down saying a 1.5 year old shouldn't have the same as the others.. some hoopla about that not being fair/equal...

I assume your new to this thread so i will ask you:

If your children were going to Disney with their dad (your X), Would you send them with some money to pick something (souvenir) out for your self, your new husband and the children you and your husband now have?

 

[STAYC18]

Name calling? Now I need to ask, how old are you? You call someone an "idot", have multiple spelling errors and make absolutely no attempt at punctuation and you are calling a school teacher an "idot"?????????????????????? Your age is the only possible reason for your abysmal written language skills. Whatever the reason for all of the problems in your posting style no one here has ridiculed you are resorted to calling you names that would be insulting but be sure that we have all noticed the deficits your written communication skills.

well does Duffy know that we are giving the kids spending money and that she don't need to send a total stranger money so the kids can get something for their mother... they are gonna have spending money isn't that what they are suppose to use it for to buy them and whom ever they choose to with it...

 

[Nancyg56]

Question: if your children are going to Disney with their dad would you send them with spending money....

This is the question asked in the first post.

you need to read the whole thread...

i was gonna give all 3 kids the same amount... but everyone shot that down saying a 1.5 year old shouldn't have the same as the others.. some hoopla about that not being fair/equal...

I assume your new to this thread so i will ask you:

If your children were going to Disney with their dad (your X), Would you send them with some money to pick something (souvenir) out for your self, your new husband and the children you and your husband now have?

This is where the OP is now.

 

[gert]

you need to read the whole thread...

i was gonna give all 3 kids the same amount... but everyone shot that down saying a 1.5 year old shouldn't have the same as the others.. some hoopla about that not being fair/equal...

I assume your new to this thread so i will ask you:

If your children were going to Disney with their dad (your X), Would you send them with some money to pick something (souvenir) out for your self, your new husband and the children you and your husband now have?

I've read the whole thread. As someone who grew up with a (now ex-)stepmom, I've refrained from commenting because the harshness of your tone when you talk about your step-girls hits a little too close to my bad memories as a kid.

To your question - if I asked my daughter to get me something while on a trip to Disney, I'd give her money. If I asked my daughter to get something for her stepdad, I'd give her money. If I wasn't asking her to bring back something, I would actually want to respect the other parents and NOT give her money.

Imagine this situation - I set a reasonable spending amount for each of the kids (equal or based on age, doesn't matter). Then the other mom sends her kids with an extra $100 each and tells them to get whatever they want. Suddenly I've got a minefield on my hands. One kid with a reasonable amount of spending money and her siblings with more than double.

 

[STAYC18]

OMG!!!

Where have you read in this thread people telling you that they wouldn't bring things back for the other kids. You really can't be that blind! If anything, your posts have portrayed that you feel that way.

If they can't pay for themselves too bad.

If they spend all their own money on others and have nothing left for themselves, too bad.
Those are the types of statements you have expressed in this thread.

i'm pretty sure this means once their money is gone i should give them more cuz they didn't get anything for themselves