Spending money...

[declansdad]

That isn't what you asked. After people responded in a way you didn't like, you tried to change your question..

 

[Maggie'sMom]

yeah meaning that buying all 4 of them something might take up most of their spending...

why wouldn"t a mother giver her children some money to buy their half siblings something...

When my DD goes on a trip with her dad, I don't expect her to buy me anything. Why would I send spending money when she's with her dad?

 

[YankeePrincess]

So basically it is ok for the step kids to buy something for their mother as long as their mom gives them money to buy it? That really isn't much of a gift is it?

As a stepchild I feel sorry for your step kids. I could never imagine my stepfather treating me like that. My stepfather always treated me no different than his own kids and to me was my father, not stepfather. I even changed my last name to his. Why marry someone with kids if you don't want to be a step parent or have issues with his ex? When you married your husband, you married his kids as well. I really think that people need to stop putting so much emphasis on the STEP part of a step family. Blood is not the only thing that makes someone family.

 

[mvazul]

ok so what am i suppose to call my husbands childrens mothers two other children from the guy she is married to now...

Um...gee...I don't know. How about BROTHER or SISTER??? Is that so hard? Isn't your son their brother? Or are you going to emphasize HALF-brother for the rest of your life and create a huge wall between all of them?

So basically it is ok for the step kids to buy something for their mother as long as their mom gives them money to buy it? That really isn't much of a gift is it?

As a stepchild I feel sorry for your step kids. I could never imagine my stepfather treating me like that. My stepfather always treated me no different than his own kids and to me was my father, not stepfather. I even changed my last name to his. Why marry someone with kids if you don't want to be a step parent or have issues with his ex? When you married your husband, you married his kids as well. I really think that people need to stop putting so much emphasis on the STEP part of a step family. Blood is not the only thing that makes someone family.

 

[STAYC18]

That isn't what you asked. After people responded in a way you didn't like, you tried to change your question..

not true...one person posted and then i reposted....when the first person posted i realized thats not what i meant to say so therefore my second post corrected it...

which is if your children were going to Disney with their dad would you give them money to bring back their mother, half siblings and step dad a souvenir....

well would you?

 

[STAYC18]

Um...gee...I don't know. How about BROTHER or SISTER??? Is that so hard? Isn't your son their brother? Or are you going to emphasize HALF-brother for the rest of your life and create a huge wall between all of them?

ok well no one said one thing when i mentioned if the mother should give the girls money to buy THEIR BROTHER AND SISTER a souvenir...they all assumed i didn't want them to buy THEIR MOTHER something..

and my son is their HALF BROTHER...thats how it is determined in Society...i have 4 half siblings and are very close to all of them...their my brothers and sisters and their my half brother and sisters...no difference

 

[DreamlikeCat]

not true...one person posted and then i reposted....when the first person posted i realized thats not what i meant to say so therefore my second post corrected it...

which is if your children were going to Disney with their dad would you give them money to bring back their mother, half siblings and step dad a souvenir....

well would you?

WHO is asking to buy souvenirs for your step-daughters' other family? The step daughters? Their mother? Your husband? Are you just assuming your step daughters will want to buy souvenirs for their other family members? Did their Mom directly ask you or your husband to buy souvenirs for herself and other family members?

Maybe that needs to be clarified a bit better. I think there may have been some misunderstanding about the situation because of how poorly worded your original post is. We are making assumptions about the situation because you are missing important info.

 

[STAYC18]

So basically it is ok for the step kids to buy something for their mother as long as their mom gives them money to buy it? That really isn't much of a gift is it?

As a stepchild I feel sorry for your step kids. I could never imagine my stepfather treating me like that. My stepfather always treated me no different than his own kids and to me was my father, not stepfather. I even changed my last name to his. Why marry someone with kids if you don't want to be a step parent or have issues with his ex? When you married your husband, you married his kids as well. I really think that people need to stop putting so much emphasis on the STEP part of a step family. Blood is not the only thing that makes someone family.

first of all i would never send my child anywhere no matter who they were with without money... second of all if my child was going somewhere such as a trip without me i would give him money and tell him to pick out a surprise for mommy and your siblings and step dad...

 

[mvazul]

ok well no one said one thing when i mentioned if the mother should give the girls money to buy THEIR BROTHER AND SISTER a souvenir...they all assumed i didn't want them to buy THEIR MOTHER something..

and my son is their HALF BROTHER...thats how it is determined in Society...i have 4 half siblings and are very close to all of them...their my brothers and sisters and their my half brother and sisters...no difference

Wow. My son and daughter are technically half siblings. I am so glad the "society" I live in see them as brother and sister and nothing less.

You really need to let go of the hate - for their mother, for your husband having had a previous life with their mother, for their other siblings. Get over it. Move on. Be the bigger person and buy some gifts for the girls' mother and brother and sister. Again, you only have these girls ONE weekend a month. Savor that time and quit being so petty. All of you will benefit from that.

 

[STAYC18]

WHO is asking to buy souvenirs for your step-daughters' other family? The step daughters? Their mother? Your husband? Are you just assuming your step daughters will want to buy souvenirs for their other family members? Did their Mom directly ask you or your husband to buy souvenirs for herself and other family members?

Maybe that needs to be clarified a bit better. I think there may have been some misunderstanding about the situation because of how poorly worded your original post is. We are making assumptions about the situation because you are missing important info.

all i wanted to know was:

if your children are going on a trip with dad or anyone for that matter would you give them some money to buy souvenirs for the members of their household...ie, mom, siblings, step dad, grandparents, pet...

thats all i wanted to know...hey maybe thats how i should of worded it in the first place....

 

[Maggie'sMom]

first of all i would never send my child anywhere no matter who they were with without money... second of all if my child was going somewhere such as a trip without me i would give him money and tell him to pick out a surprise for mommy and your siblings and step dad...

So when your husband takes your son out somewhere, you give your son money before they leave?

 

[STAYC18]

Wow. My son and daughter are technically half siblings. I am so glad the "society" I live in see them as brother and sister and nothing less.

You really need to let go of the hate - for their mother, for your husband having had a previous life with their mother, for their other siblings. Get over it. Move on. Be the bigger person and buy some gifts for the girls' mother and brother and sister. Again, you only have these girls ONE weekend a month. Savor that time and quit being so petty. All of you will benefit from that.

i'm pretty sure i said i would buy the mother a magnet and candy for the kids either way...

and i"m sorry why do you keep emphasizing on having them for one weekend a month...how do you know how much we have the girls...


and yeah i'm pretty sure in their household and in my household they are brother and sister but to easily describe who the child are i thinks its easier on a forum to note the truth... for the fact i didn't want people to think i was talking about the girls siblings and thinking i was talking about my children...

 

[STAYC18]

So when your husband takes your son out somewhere, you give your son money before they leave?

well he's only 15 months old...but if he was older and i wasn't married to hubby anymore...uuummm yeah...

 

[DreamlikeCat]

all i wanted to know was:

if your children are going on a trip with dad or anyone for that matter would you give them some money to buy souvenirs for the members of their household...ie, mom, siblings, step dad, grandparents, pet...

thats all i wanted to know...hey maybe thats how i should of worded it in the first place....

If I wanted my children to buy something for me while on vacation with their father, yes, I would give them the money to do so.

Having said that, the tone in your post implies that the step-daughters' Mom has done something wrong, yet you aren't explaining what that is, which is WHY you are getting so many angry opinions.

Perhaps you should answer my previous question, or give more of an explanation about the situation. Who is asking to buy souvenirs, how are they asking you, and why is it a problem?

 

[STAYC18]

If I wanted my children to buy something for me while on vacation with their father, yes, I would give them the money to do so.

Having said that, the tone in your post implies that the step-daughters' Mom has done something wrong, yet you aren't explaining what that is, which is WHY you are getting so many angry opinions.

Perhaps you should answer my previous question, or give more of an explanation about the situation. Who is asking to buy souvenirs, how are they asking you, and why is it a problem?

noone i was just asking a question...isn't this the place to ask questions..i was curious for myself and i figure on here there are many different family scenarios... and i wanted to know if most people don"t then i would just offer to get them something small and for the family...

 

[Maggie'sMom]

well he's only 15 months old...but if he was older and i wasn't married to hubby anymore...uuummm yeah...

You said "i would never send my child anywhere no matter who they were with without money". No qualifications. You stepdaughters are going on a trip with THEIR DAD. Unless you plan on opening your own wallet and giving money to your son every time he goes somewhere with his dad, even if you two are still married, then you cannot expect that your stepdaughters' mother should give them money everytime they go somewhere with their father.

 

[Tara922c]

If my child was going to Disney with her father, step-mother, and her siblings from that relationship, I would most likely not give her any spending money. She would be going with her father. If I, her mother, took dd to Disney, I would expect to fund the vacation fully, including spending money. Another reason that I would not give her money is because it would not be fair to her siblings that are going. It would not be fair that she would have more money to spend than her siblings (I would assume all the kids would get an equal amount of money?). I would also tell my dd to use the money her father gives her on whatever she wants to buy. I would not expect her to buy me anything. Now, let's say that I wanted a particular coffee mug from Disney, then yes, I would give her (or her father) a $20, say "Don't forget my Mickey Mug" and send her on her way.

Now if I took my child to Disney, gave her a set amount of spending money, and she decided to spend her money on a gift for a family member at home, I would be one proud Momma.

Being said, my answer is hypothetical.

 

[STAYC18]

When my DD goes on a trip with her dad, I don't expect her to buy me anything. Why would I send spending money when she's with her dad?

you wouldn't want your daughter to bring something back for your kids that didn't get to go diseny with their dad...

 

[DreamlikeCat]

noone i was just asking a question...isn't this the place to ask questions..i was curious for myself and i figure on here there are many different family scenarios... and i wanted to know if most people don"t then i would just offer to get them something small and for the family...

So if the response was that "most people" buy a few large gifts each, you'd go out and get that too? Use your brain and imagination and do what you think is right. Do you think a Disney forum is the best place to learn how to sort out your blended family issues?

Anyway, if no one is asking you to buy souvenirs, then why on earth does it matter if the Mom is offering to send money or not? She didn't bloody well ask for anything!!!

Let the girls buy what they want, with YOUR money, even if it's something for that evil other family of theirs, for crying out loud. What is wrong with you?

I think I'd better just stick to the "tips and tricks" threads.

 

[mvazul]

and i"m sorry why do you keep emphasizing on having them for one weekend a month...how do you know how much we have the girls...

This is not the first time you have complained about your step-daughters. Once you put something on the internet, it's always there - even if deleted.