Speaking Of Gift Registries... Do You?

[Tink888]

I always buy the exact item. I figure there's a reason why they chose that specific style/model/color etc.

I don't really find the items you have listed to necessarily be "INSANE". If a mom is going to be pumping full time, a high quality pump is a must. Our crib was more than $600, 10 years ago, but it's one that changes into a full size bed and is still being used by my son now. I don't know what a "bathing system" is?

That is the one thing that I will never buy for a baby shower, reason being that wanting to nurse and being able to nurse for extended period of time don't always work out and if it doesn't, it's such a waste of money. I can't buy the high quality argument either.....I nursed both my boys, my oldest until he was 11 months, and never found the need for anything beyond the manual pump they gave me at the hospital, but I didn't pump full-time.

Sure, it's your first kid and you want only the best, but when did reality take a vacation. Who needs a $50 kit? Any experienced mom will tell ya, don't waste your money now, you will need it later!

So true!

I try to stick with the registry for bridal showers more than baby showers, mostly because with babies, there are so many things a new mom needs. $50.00 worth of diapers doesn't seem so glamorous but those types of items will definitely be used. KWIM?

 

[Hoodie]

I usually get one thing from the registries (or a few small things) and one thing that's a surprise. Or cash.

For my wedding, I was excited when people went off registry. One guy got us an animation cel in a frame. One couple got us a dipping oil kit to make bread dips.

That's funny - I think I returned the majority of items that were "off registry" for my wedding. I really didn't need 12 (yes, 12) crystal picture frames!

OP - I usually buy things on the registry, but remember that people are now told to NOT put things on like towels, onsies, and outfits because they turn over quickly and people will get them anyway. As long as the bottles are the same ones (even if larger) than the ones she registered for, you should be fine. I had a couple people give us random bottles which promptly went back to the store. A gift card is always a good idea too - there is always SOMETHING the new baby and/or momma will need. I really liked diapers.com because they deliver to your door within a day or two - invaluable when you are at home with a week old baby at the height of flu season!

The only thing I would advise is absolutely NO clothing (or diapers) in newborn size. We had 2 newborn outfits - 1 was never worn and one we squeezed my son into for his going home outfit. He never fit into it again. Also, he was in size 1 diapers in the hospital - his little (or big) butt never fit into newborn diapers.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Do you ALWAYS select an EXACT item from a gift registry, or do you see them as "ideas", or do you simply get whatever you feel like?

I ask because I have a baby shower to attend, and mom is registered only at Babies R Us. She registered for INSANE things that I would never buy ($50 bathing system, $200 pump, $250 stroller, $600 CRIB!!!) One thing that caught my eye was a $30 5 oz. bottle set.

They didn't have it.

Target sells it, but they were out at all stores in my area. BUT, they did have individual 9oz. bottles of the SAME bottle and the nipples on clearance for $2 each! It's the wrong size and not the "kit", but it's the same thing, and eventually she will need 9oz. bottles.

If she doesn't like it, she can buy her own!

I was always reasonable and registered for items at different price points ($15, 25, 35, 50) with a few little things like pacis, lotions, etc. Ironically I tried to make it easy for people who didn't shop from a registry anyway...lol. I try to find an item in my price range that I found helpful. If not, I'll pick up something that I thought was a 'must have'. But your friend would have gotten a gift card.


ALKMegs, I hope you picked up the cheap bottles! Aren't you expecting or hoping to have a baby soon?

 

[Carly_Roach]

Oh and something I found out about some registries.

If the couple registered for them and did not receive it they can purchase it within a certain amount of time and get a discount on it.

I didn't know that either! So maybe all this judging about greedy people only picking expensive items can be tempered just a little bit? I know it'll temper MY judgment.

 

[simba20]

The only thing I would advise is absolutely NO clothing (or diapers) in newborn size. We had 2 newborn outfits - 1 was never worn and one we squeezed my son into for his going home outfit. He never fit into it again. Also, he was in size 1 diapers in the hospital - his little (or big) butt never fit into newborn diapers.

When my daughter was born, we had to go out and buy preemie clothes (no she was not a preemie) because she was sooooo tiny, that everything else was SWIMMING on her.

So my best friend is pregnant, and throughout her pregnancy, she had no worries or concerns that her son would need newborn sized clothes. Hate to say it, but she is a big girl and her husband is a big guy (former football player) so NOBODY on earth would ever think that their son would fit into anythign other than 0-3 m clthes, if that, everyone joked he'd be wearing 6 m sized clothes when he was born.

So along comes her shower. I got her a few onesies (sized 3 m), but I also snuck along a newborn sized outift, telling her "You never know" due to our experience with DD.

Anyway, she foes to the hospial, has her son, and.........

she needed the newborn outfit. In fact she had to go out and buy more. She joked at the shower that it would be good for at least a few, but just like my DD her son was in newborn sized clothes for 2 months.

Never say never.

It was even harder for us, when DD was born, as I ended up having an unplanned c-section, DD was born in July when we happened to have a massive heat wave and 100 degree temps for three weeks, I had surgery complications, had to have a blood transfusion, and was in the hospital for a week after DD was born. We came home on a Friday, and I had a follow up appt with my OB the following Monday. Oh, and we lived in the boonies 45 mins away from the city. Luckily, my mom came to stay with us for a few days after DD was born. SO she watched DD while we ran up to the city for my follow-up appt in the middle of 100+ degree heatwave, feeling like , getting my perscriptions, as well as having to run into Babies R Us to get DD some clothes that fit her (mostly onesies).

If your close to the mom to be, I highly recommend droping advice before the baby is born for her to buy two or three newborn things and keeping tags/receipts. Never say never.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I always buy gifts that are on the registry, but I've never pulled up a registry where every item was over my budget. If that happened, I suppose I'd look for ideas from the registry and try to get something that wasn't registered for, but coordinated, or look for the exact item at a cheaper store. I especially try to be very exact with wedding registries, because I know that it's nice to get a complete set of dishes, silverware, towels, or whatever.

Baby shower registries, in addition to specific equipment where I'd only choose the exact item, also usually have very general categories like "infant toys" or "clothes", so if I feel like being creative, there's always that option.

And we always loved the large registry items when someone at the office was getting married or having a baby. You get an entire department together, it's easy to collect enough for the stroller, and maybe even an exersaucer or bouncy seat to go with it!

 

[Styx Fan]

For me it depends on how well I know the couple or the mom-to-be. If they are very close to me, I will usually not buy off the registry but try to get something that I know they will love, but may not have thought of or couldn't be registered for.

For instance, when our very good friends were married (his 2nd at age 43, her first at age 36) they were already merging 2 households so had much of the typical items. Knowing she really likes antiques, I asked a friend of mine who is an antiques dealer to look out for a set of champagne flutes for their toasting glasses as a shower gift.. She found a really beautiful set, and they were extremely reasonable in price. And since DH was best man, toasting glasses seemed very appropriate. I checked it out with the groom first to make sure he thought it was a good idea.

For the same couples wedding I really couldn't spend a fortune on a gift as 3 of the 4 of us were in the wedding and we had already shot the budget. Knowing they both love to read and have several book cases, as do we, I found a pair of bookends in my price range.

My in-laws were invited to this wedding and bought the couple a gift certificate for our local professional theatre as they love plays.

I also shop at lots of art and craft shows and often buy baby gifts there....handmade items like blankets or personalized items.

For folks I know less intimately, I try to buy off the registry or use it as a guide to their taste.

 

[Minniemouse07]

For baby showers I never give:

Diapers
Bottles
Pacifiers
Pump stuff

All are very baby/mommy specific.

I wouldn't want mom to have five packages of Huggies diapers only to have her discover that junior leaks like a sieve in Huggies and needs Pampers.

Bottles and pacifiers are up to the whims of the baby. Some babies could care less where their milk is coming from, others are super picky and will only use one kind of bottle/nipple combination.

I wouldn't get 9oz bottles if 5oz were requested, some kids (like mine) never needed a bottle larger than 5oz, so it would be overkill.

Pumps are another mommy specific item. I pumped from 3mo-12mo w/ #1 and 5mo-12mo w/ #2 after returning to work. Although I didn't pump full time, I definitely needed a "high end" pump to keep up my supply and pump enough for my kids to have while we were separated each day. Some pumps work better for some moms so I wouldn't presume to choose what they may or may not need.

Some of my favorite gifts that I've given (and received) weren't on any registry. A selection of favorite children's picture books, one outfit in every size between 6mo and 2 or 3yrs, gift certificates to local children's attractions that didn't expire (because taking junior to the children's museum at 6mo isn't as fun as it is at 18mo or 2yrs!), etc.

I especially like the book idea because they last for such a long time and can be enjoyed by subsequent children (since showers are generally for the first child) year later. So much on a baby registry list is no longer used by the 6th, 6th or 12th month...but books last for YEARS!!

ETA... I don't fault a mom for only registering at Babies R Us. Historically they have had the best return policy...way better than Target's... and have been the most flexible when making returns. This may have changed for BRU in recent years (youngest ds is 5yo) but it was definitely true in the past.

We purposefully did NOT register at Target after a bad experience w/ our early wedding registry. We received something from the registry w/o a gift receipt that we ended up not wanting (a pot that we thought we would like and registered for the set but after using ANOTHER from the line we hated them and tried to return another we had receive but had not used). The store refused to even give us store credit for it...even though it was a Target exclusive item and obviously had not been used. After that experience we pulled our registry and went with other stores (Macy's, Bed Bath & Beyond & Home Depot) which worked out MUCH better. I never encourage Target registries... HUGE PITA!

 

[VeganCupcake]

If I can't find/afford the exact thing they asked for I just get a gift card, or write a check. I did my whole registry at Target and some people did get something similar to what I asked for, obviously they couldn't take the item off of my registry b/c it wasn't on there to begin with. I ended up with a few doubles that I had to bring back to the store & exchanged them, no biggie.

 

[NikitaZee]

I didn't know that either! So maybe all this judging about greedy people only picking expensive items can be tempered just a little bit? I know it'll temper MY judgment.

Good advice. For my shower, our family members asked us to add the expensive items to the list, so they could purchase them for us and get exactly what we wanted. We also got to take advantage of the 10% off anything that wasn't purchased from the registry, as long as we did so within 30 days of our baby's birthdate. Just goes to show, not everyone is being greedy - in fact, that is really the norm among people I know! No one thinks any worse of them for it.

OP, I really do try and get off of the regisrty - I just find it easier. If there's nothing left in my price range, I'll buy a cute little outfit (if I know the baby's sex) or a gift card.

 

[golfgal]

I buy mostly from registries but not always. Sometimes they don't have anything left in the price range I want to spend or the store doesn't have what they wanted. I LOVE registries for people I don't know well (employees of DH's for example). If it is someone I know well and find something I know they will like, I buy off their registry.

For larger things like a stroller I would assume that they registered for that with people that want to go together for a gift, not assuming one person would buy that gift.

 

[kwelch10377]

I didn't know that either! So maybe all this judging about greedy people only picking expensive items can be tempered just a little bit? I know it'll temper MY judgment.

Nah....I think most people who already think that they are still greedy gift seeking people will still think that

 

[starann]

I would think you would be safe with the bottles as long as they are the same brand as the others. If I find something on sale in another store for a registry I buy it and call the store they registered at and have them take it off (saying it was purchaced). In your case I wouldnt do that, but I'm sure the bottles will be used.

I think people register for expensive items so a group (co workers, cousins, group of friends) can all go in and get it...at least that is what I did for my registry. Sure there were some things I didn't get, but I wasn't upset.

I had people buy off the registry and others who didn't. Those who didn't some of the gifts I kept and some I tried ot return (like a baby monitor, I had gotten 2 at my shower, one I registered for and one I did not, the one I did not went back, but the gift giver never knew!)

 

[LaurenLC]

That is the one thing that I will never buy for a baby shower, reason being that wanting to nurse and being able to nurse for extended period of time don't always work out and if it doesn't, it's such a waste of money. I can't buy the high quality argument either.....I nursed both my boys, my oldest until he was 11 months, and never found the need for anything beyond the manual pump they gave me at the hospital, but I didn't pump full-time.


So true!

I try to stick with the registry for bridal showers more than baby showers, mostly because with babies, there are so many things a new mom needs. $50.00 worth of diapers doesn't seem so glamorous but those types of items will definitely be used. KWIM?

Regarding the pump.....Just because that was the case for you, doesn't mean it's the case for everyone else.

 

[LaurenLC]

We used our registry as a shopping list..... I registered for EVERYTHING we thought we wanted or needed. We were never under the impression that people would buy everything off it. We wanted to be able to know what we had and what we still wanted.

If you can't find something on the registry that you like, buy them something else or you could always give them a gift card!

 

[deegack]

Regarding the pump.....Just because that was the case for you, doesn't mean it's the case for everyone else.

Exactly. Dd was in the nicu and I was confined to my bed for the first week after her birth. without my pump she would not have gotten any breast milk because she refused to nurse no matter what I did. So I was attached to my pump for months.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I could REALLY use some of you over on my thread

For me it depends on how well I know the couple or the mom-to-be. If they are very close to me, I will usually not buy off the registry but try to get something that I know they will love, but may not have thought of or couldn't be registered for.

For instance, when our very good friends were married (his 2nd at age 43, her first at age 36) they were already merging 2 households so had much of the typical items. Knowing she really likes antiques, I asked a friend of mine who is an antiques dealer to look out for a set of champagne flutes for their toasting glasses as a shower gift.. She found a really beautiful set, and they were extremely reasonable in price. And since DH was best man, toasting glasses seemed very appropriate. I checked it out with the groom first to make sure he thought it was a good idea.

For the same couples wedding I really couldn't spend a fortune on a gift as 3 of the 4 of us were in the wedding and we had already shot the budget. Knowing they both love to read and have several book cases, as do we, I found a pair of bookends in my price range.

My in-laws were invited to this wedding and bought the couple a gift certificate for our local professional theatre as they love plays.

I also shop at lots of art and craft shows and often buy baby gifts there....handmade items like blankets or personalized items.

For folks I know less intimately, I try to buy off the registry or use it as a guide to their taste.

I'm the same way. If it's a coworker or someone I'm not terribly close with, I'll buy off the registry. If it's a good friend of family member, I'm going to get them something I know they would love.

If they're out of state, I'll send a gift card.

Nah....I think most people who already think that they are still greedy gift seeking people will still think that

That's been proven to me today.

 

[kwelch10377]

I could REALLY use some of you over on my thread



I'm the same way. If it's a coworker or someone I'm not terribly close with, I'll buy off the registry. If it's a good friend of family member, I'm going to get them something I know they would love.

If they're out of state, I'll send a gift card.



That's been proven to me today.

I was tempted to post of the other thread, but I think my opinion would get a little lost since I agree with what you said.

 

[RachelEllen]

I usually stick to the registry for baby showers. Just from my personal experience, I really appreciated all the unique, special gifts we got for my wedding. I felt just the opposite way when I had my child, and really, really appreciated the people who helped me stock up on the basics! (Not that I didn't appreciate everything....but there's a difference between your need for china after getting married and your need for diapers for the baby!)

I wanted to stick up too for all the greedy looking registers. I also used the registry as a shopping/reminder list. Plus, there's often a completion discount. So maybe no one's really expecting that $600 crib, but she just wants to take advantage of the discount.

 

[VAfamily1998]

I can't buy the high quality argument either.....I nursed both my boys, my oldest until he was 11 months, and never found the need for anything beyond the manual pump they gave me at the hospital, but I didn't pump full-time.

So, you've never experienced pumping full time, yet you "can't buy the high quality argument"?
Wierd. I've never seen someone state their opinion, then admit they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about, in the same sentence before.