Spanking Yes or No?

[Pembo]

Do you spank your children? Were you spanked?

 

[Michelle]

Uh, hot topic here, may be debate board material.

I do not spank my child...I did actually do it ONCE and never again. I was spanked perhaps once as a child.

For my child, it is definitely NOT helpful. I don't believe in people hitting each other and tell her that, so for me to spank her is hypocritical. Plus it doesn't WORK, it just makes her resentful and aggressive.

I totally understand the frustration and anger that parents have that makes them WANT to spank, but to me that is also totally the wrong reason.

Bottom line for us, it doesn't work and it's not something I want my child to think is okay.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Yes I spanked my kids. It was rarely and was reserved for out and out disobeying/respect, in particular things that were dangerous like running into the street. It was never hard and not after they were like 7yo.

 

[02bBarbie]

Definitely!

Oh wait, we're referring to children..nevermind

 

[LadyAurora]

I was spanked. I don't have children of my own, only stepsons. Obviously I can't spank them, even if I ever thought they needed it (not so far). However, I don't feel resentment towards my parents; exactly the opposite! I wish that when I have kids I can do the great job they did. I really respect them and often wonder what was the secret. Not that I think the spanking was the key. I think that when I do have kids, I will spank them, reserving it for extreme circumstances to really drive home a point. Often I see kids (every day, actually, I work in retail) that look like they really really need a good paddle on the bottom! Seems like you don't need to be in the double digits before you start walking all over your parents these days.
I feel like I have been blessed when I think of my stepsons, even complete strangers comment on how well behaved they are. There mother has done a good job so far of raising them.

 

[d.kurz]

Originally posted by 02bBarbie
Definitely!

Oh wait, we're referring to children..nevermind

LOL!!! Good one!

 

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by 02bBarbie
Definitely!

Oh wait, we're referring to children..nevermind

gmta

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I did it once to DD and it was out of anger. Have not done it since.

I find that if I just take a the time to catch my breath, count to 10, turn away for a minute the feelings subside.

MHO is that spanking does not cause the child to learn self discipline. Other options definitely take ALOT of patience since results are not always evident right away, but I believe the long term effects are worth the effort (for my family anyway.)

We use a lot of the Gentle Discipline techniques with DD. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

Good Luck! Parenting decisions are so hard!

 

[Lucky4me]

No!

If you think about it, it's a ridiculous way to teach a child not to do something you don't want them to do.

For the little ones, distraction, distraction, DISTRACTION!
For the older ones, common sense communication. They will understand what you tell them.

Punch a pillow if you get angry enough to smack your kid. They'll thank you one day.

 

[Aurora63]

I was spanked. I think the key to spanking being of benefit is the way it is used. My parents never did it in public, and never for frivolous reasons. When we got it, we had been truly disrespectful/in need of a spanking! And we knew it was coming. There was always that time period waiting for it, the tension, the fear in waiting, which was always much worse than the spanking.

Usually, just hearing my dad mention it would get me in line. It obviously was not pleasant. I see a lot of parents now who will go spank their kid for anything, at any time...after awhile, the kid is like "big deal" and it no longer works.

So yes, I was spanked, it was not the cornerstone of my parent's discipline, but it was used at times, and I do not think they were wrong.

 

[katerkat]

I was spanked - not often, I was a good kid.

I'm sure my cats-kids consider a squirt from the water gun a "spank" - it's the only effective discipline tool I have with them. I don't know what I'll do with my "real" kids. I got really upset when DH smacked (with his hand) Wedge in anger. So... I don't know what we'll do with the "real" kids.

 

[AirForceRocks]

I was spanked, and we have spanked our kids. I don't think it works for every child, but it does for ours.

Punch a pillow if you get angry enough to smack your kid.

I don't know parents that smack the kids in anger, but I know many parents that spank kids on the bottom to reinforce discipline. What you are inferring is abuse, which I don't condone in any way.

 

[Serena]

I was spanked, but not that often. I have spanked my kids too. I haven't done it in a while though. It hurts my hand more than their behinds.

 

[Disney Ella]

Yes, I was and always by an angry parent. Things that never annoyed them when they were in a good mood became triggers for hitting if they were in a bad mood.

Speech is one important thing that sets people apart from animals. Animals have no other way to get their point across than by using physical means, but we have a choice. I have never hit my kids. They have made me angry enough that I really wanted to hit something but I never did. It just didn't make sense for me to react to them being out of control by being out of control myself. Talking about problems and coming up with solutions, whether you are 7 or 37, is what we try to emphasize. The kids still hit each other from time to time, but most of the time they do try to come up with a compromise.

 

[gshoemate]

I was spanked as a child. I remember that my father's belt was hung on the wall where I could see it. Once I tried to flush it down the toilet.....Belts only cause over flow...they do not flush. I was not a bad child, my parents just knew of no other way to teach me to mind. Can you tell I have issues with my upbringing.

I have not spanked my children and hope I never will.

 

[Buckalew]

I was spanked as a child. Not real often though. Yes, like Tiggeroo said, we have spanked DD also. She's nine now and I can't remember the last time she was spanked. She's a good kid. I, too, think there is a difference between spanking and abuse.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

Yes, we did spank our daughter.

More precicely, we sometimes gave her a quick swat on the bottom if she was beligerant or mouthy.

As an adult she now says she had NO problem with those "spankings" and tells us that what the quick swat did was open her ears to what we were trying to tell her! LOL

Must be a connection between her butt and her ears, eh?

 

[Big Dude]

Yes. When reason calls for it. Never out of anger but mostly out of fear. One reason I have resorted to corporal punishment was if one of my children ran out into the street without looking and a car was coming up fast. It needs to be instilled into their heads that this can be life threatening. A swift swat on the backside (when it is normally not done) is a good deterrant. Just my .02.

Adam aka Big Dude

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I was spanked as a child, with a hand and with a belt - I learned early on that I really didn't like it, and decided it was much nicer at home when I obeyed my parents.

My kids grew up hearing, "that's not acceptable," and that usually worked for me. When they were little, I told them that their behavior dictated how they were treated. Acceptable behavior = happy home. Unacceptable behavior meant listening to hour lectures, or having things taken away from them, and general unpleasantness. I have spanked my children for being outright defiant to me, and I've used the belt on my son for sneering at me when he was 11. I don't think I used it on my dd, but I did spank her hard for sheer defiance. Of course, I told her all about it on the way home, and let her worry about it. It worked, too, and both of them apologized for their behavior.

They're 15 & 14 now, and I don't punish them much these days - we talk, they don't fight, and they don't sass me. We may argue, but when I tell them 'that's enough' they stop (sometimes I'm surprised lol). They also get along very well. Makes life nice. Of course, when I threaten to spank them now, they just pat me on the head.

 

[Rajah]

No kids for me, but I was spanked a few times when I was a kid. And, looking back on it, I deserved it each time that I can remember.

For me, whether spanking (meaning a swat on the backside using the hand) should be done or not depends entirely on the child and the family. Some kids, spanking just doesn't work on. Others, it's enough punishment to just look at them wrong. So it really depends.