Spanking Yes or No?

[disneefamily]

Disnee Dad Says.................................. I was spanked as a child, and deserved everyone, except the last one.

In Washington, we didn't get much snow, but we did get some each year. I was at my friends house, with a nice slopeing driveway leading into an empty field.

The minute my mom came to pick me up, was the minute I went down the driveway, was the minute a car came by.

They stopped, mom gets out of the car, and gives me 3 or 4 swats. I try not to laugh because I am 17 at the time!

Yes we spanked our daughter, I think twice. I wanted to do it more but she was so dang perfect!

I still remember loseing an argument to her when she was about five. Don't remember what it was about, but she beat me point by point, so I had to give in!!!

Ya can't spank someone who is smarter than you!!!

 

[goofy4tink]

I was spanked as a child. And as an adult have found out that my dad was abused by his dad when he was young. However, most of the time, I really deserved the spankings. As far as my kids go, you could have beat my now 29 y/o son until he bled. Wouldn't have mattered. Now, shed a tear and he'll turn to mush. And nothing worked with my now 26 y/o dd. With my 9 y/o dd, I have spanked her bottom just once. She was about 2 1/2. We were at a church bbq. For some reason the organizers set up the bbq in front of the church that fronts the road. Well, all the other kids were allowed to run into the road and across it. It is a not very traveled road and generally speaking most cars travel it slowly. However, after my dd charged into the road 3 times, and getting spoken to each time, she got a swift crack on the bottom. She stopped going into the road. My point is...a road is a road. Children shouldn't be allowed to run in them. So...this person came up to me in church a week later and says to me, and I quote, "If I had been there and seen what you did, I would have had to speak to you about your abusiveness." A swat on a diapered bottom is abusive?? Nope, don't think so. Did it hurt her? No, it just really embarrassed her I think.

 

[lisajl]

I was spanked, mostly by my mom when she was angry, or had a hard day. One time she beat my sister with a twig from a tree( or a switch) as we called it. My sister refused to get up off the chair so my mom beat her legs with it. She left huge welts on my sisters legs. We still talk about that incident to this day.


Do I spank my children? No, I don't. I did spank my daughter a couple of times when she was small and had ran out in the road.

Our pediatrician said, "spank her legs, that is what carried her out there, not her butt."

So, that is what I did....I had horrible flashbacks of my mom and did not spank her again.

I guess I thought I might end up like my mom...losing control.

I know that is why I don't have a close relationship with my mom
today. I care about her, but she is not my friend.

Lisa

 

[browneyes]

Yes, sometimes I spank my kids. Yes, I was spanked. I think the worst spanking I had was when I was 6 yo when I was practicing saying my dad's name (we had to know our parents names for school). He was helping me say it. Then he decided it was very disrespectful to say your parent's name and spanked me for being disrespectful (yes, he was drunk). Atleast that's the spanking that stands I remember the most.

 

[honeywolf7]

LadyAurora,
I'm glad you are a good enough stepmother to realize that it's not your place to spank your stepchildren. Jessica informed me the last time she came home from her father's house that the woman he is living with now had the nerve to spank my 3-year-old son. I was FURIOUS.

 

[Mskanga]

I was spanked as a child, not often but I was , and I'm glad I was because thinking back, I deserved every one of them, and it made me who I am today. There's a difference between discipline and abuse. I have spanked my kids when they have done something really bad , taking things away from them or time outs don't always work with them. I can't remember when was the last time I spanked one of them but they know it's really bad if I do.

 

[LadyAurora]

I would like to add my reinforcement to those that spoke about telling the child that they would be spanked and letting them worry about it for a while. Not that this works in all situations, but the worrying is more a punishment than the actual spank!
Anyway, one time my little sister had left a mess in the doorway between the kitchen and the family room. Not a good spot for toys! I must have been around 8 or 9? Mom told me to clean up my toys and I replied that I hadn't left them there, it wasn't my mess. Usually I would do what I was told, I'm not sure why I didn't this time. But after a few arguments back and forth, Mom got tired of my backtalking and smacked my with an open hand on the mouth. She managed to catch me just right and split my lip...I bled a little bit. Well, that combined with my little sister owning up to the mess laid a LOT of guilt on Mom. I think SHE is emotionally scarred to this day! Not me! That is the only time I (and my sister was never) smacked anywhere other than the bottom. So yes, count to ten (and check the facts) before spanking. It will still carry the same weight, maybe even more. IMO.

 

[Disney Doll]

There is a big difference between a swat on the bottom to reinforce a point and being hit with a switch or a belt!

I was spanked as a child, not too often...probably less than 5 times altogether, so I do not think I am emotionally scarred from it. I don;'t have an abusive personality, I like my parents...all in all I turned out OK.

I was in a grocery store one day and heard a woman arguing with her about 8 year old son about something, and he hit her, and she said to him "now, Trevor, don't hit, use your words" at which point he said "F--- you Mom!" I darn near fell in the aisle laughing, and the topper was that this woman didn't do a thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can tell you right now that if I EVER siad that to my mother when I was 8 years old, she'd have hauled me out of that store so fast my head would have spun and it would NOT have been pretty when we got home either!

My mother had no desire to be my friend, she was my mother.

 

[caitycaity]

Originally posted by Aurora63
I was spanked. I think the key to spanking being of benefit is the way it is used. My parents never did it in public, and never for frivolous reasons. When we got it, we had been truly disrespectful/in need of a spanking! And we knew it was coming. There was always that time period waiting for it, the tension, the fear in waiting, which was always much worse than the spanking.

Usually, just hearing my dad mention it would get me in line. It obviously was not pleasant. I see a lot of parents now who will go spank their kid for anything, at any time...after awhile, the kid is like "big deal" and it no longer works.

So yes, I was spanked, it was not the cornerstone of my parent's discipline, but it was used at times, and I do not think they were wrong.

I totally agree. I was spanked, and though I do not have children yet, I will not hesitate to use spanking if necessary.

 

[believe]

The bad thing about this post is that you can't answer twice. I do believe some children need a spanking, never in anger though. My DDs know that if it has come to that point, they have had several tries and I have tried everything at that point to get through to them. Spanking from me is a rarity. I was never spanked, but I did get a slap across the face when I mouthed off to my dad....it was deserved.

 

[TINKTWINS]

I relate to Lisa. I have vivid memories of childhhood punishment. I was the older one, so if something came out of my mouth that my mother didnt like, she slapped my face, I think my heart hurt more than my face or my sometimes bloody nose. My brother was 5 yrs younger, she "spanked him" with a wooden spoon. Even chasing him to "punish" him.

I dont hit my kids, my mother did it out of anger, and it caused more harm that good. Do I get frustrated YOU BET!!!! I have 5 kids that range from 17 to 3yo twins. Im guilty of being a big yeller. IMHO its better that a beating.

I cant stand to see my kids in pain and thats what hitting means, causing pain. Just the other day we were leaving the park, I had an armfull of stuff when one of the twins started to run through the parking lot, my instinct was to grab and grab I did, but I got his hair and not his shirt, I felt like such a jerk, my reflex was fast but a little off. For about 10 mins he reminded me over and over again very clearly that I pulled his hair. It was an accident but I just wanted to cry.

 

[manchurianbrownbear]

DW and I were both spanked, she more than me ,and we spank our kids, but we have rules for when when a spanking is used.

We don't spank unless the kids have been warned, usually multiple times, and they are likely to get a swat if they lie or are defiant.

When they are "sentenced" to a swat, they are sent to the basement family room and Mom or Dad usually follow a minute or two behind (I agree that the dread of the spanking is worse than the spanking itself!). Everyone has had time to cool off and I make sure they understand what they are being punished for. I guess that is their opportunity to appeal! They very rarely get more than one swat and normally there are hugs and affirmation after the sentence has been carried out!

 

[binny]

I was spanked only as a last resort so I had to have done something pretty bad. I only remember being spanked a few times.

I do spank my children on occasion but rarely.

Same thing it has to be something bad. Or something that is dangerous and I want to be sure they understand notto do it again. ( running out into the street for example) even then it is just a quick swat to bottom ( with clothes left on) with my hand.




I have never used anything other than my hand. My kids dont associate my hands with spanking either, they get WAY more hugs than spanks

 

[tiggerlover]

Growing up I can only remember a couple of spankings and if my memory is acurate they were deserved. I do not like to spank my child, however if the ocassion is warranted I will. Generally I talk to my son ahead of time and tell him why he is getting a spanking and then he will get 2 swats on the behind, we will talk again and then I give him a hug and tell him that even though I don't like to spank him sometimes his actions make it a necessity.

 

[Lynn CC]

I wasn't spanked often..never by my father and my mother was more of a "hair puller".
I have one DS who is 16 that we never spanked.
I think it's unnessesary and when I see someone spank a child I'd give them dirty look. It's my pet peeve

 

[Kirby]

I was spanked as a child. Not a lot and only when I was ornery. I do remember my mother getting a china berry switch after us at my grandmother's house.

I have spanked my children but not in a long time. They are both good kids. They know that when I say No I mean No. Spanking worked better on my son than my daughter. She would defy me anyway. Putting her in a corner worked more for her.

Following through means a lot. If you just threaten your child and then don't follow through then they come to realize that you don't mean what you say. My kids know that me and their dad will follow through and that they probably won't like the consequences. Many times we don't even have to tell them what the consequences will be because they know that we will do what we say we will do.

My kids also know that is they get in trouble at school they will get double when they get home. This has been told to them since kindergarten. We haven't had a problem yet. They are 12 and 15.

 

[delikado]

I was spanked only once when I was younger, and I definitely deserved it. My then-elementary school had these special projects called individual work, which were like homework but you did it in school. Each subject (like math, science, english, etc) had one project, and you usually had about three weeks to complete each one. Well, I kinda slacked off on them, and when my mom would ask me if I did them, I'd say yes Unfortunately, she found out about my deception at the Parent-Teacher conference, and man, let me tell you, the ride home that day was THE WORST!!! She called me into her bedroom and slapped me on my leg with a slipper, one swat for every project I didn't do. I was a bit older when it happened (about 4th or 5th grade), so the added humiliation really cemented the lesson in my head!

I don't have children of my own yet, but I expect that I will spank them if they really deserve it, and always in private. My mom never needed to spank me for bad behavior (like running onto the road, or breaking things in a store) because all I needed was one of those LOOKS from her, and I'd immediately turn into a little angel. Hopefully I inherited that look from her, because I would like to avoid spanking my children as much as possible.

 

[preshi]

i was spanked alot as a child...

I tried spanking DS... he laughed... it's not effective and so we dont use that method of disipline anymore.

 

[Pembo]

DisneyDoll I love your story about the mother who told her son to use his words and he told her to f off. LOL!!! I readily admit that if my sons ever said that to me I think the slap would be an instant reaction.

This is an interesting thread.....keep those answers coming.

 

[Princess_Aurora]

I spank my kids sometimes and only for certain things. DD(5) only gets it now for back talking...she's in her back talking phase. She says things like, "No duh stupid head" and she'll get spanked. For my little baby boy (14months) he gets his hands spanked lightly when his hands start going to things they aren't suppose to be getting into.

I really only remember being disiplined once and I ended up in the emergency room because of it. Apparently my dad thought I talked on the phone too much. I remember being on the phone and my older sister started complaining about me being on the phone when she needed to call someone. I had only been on the phone for like five minutes and my dad came in, took the phone from my hands and wacked me in the head with it several times. I had to go to the emergency room and was told I had a severe concusion. I had to be monitored for the next 24 hours to make sure I didn't go into a coma or something.