Good for your daughter!! I hope she ends up with the one that is the best fit for her.
I will tell you a little bit about how it worked in my school. I was a Delta Zeta at a small private school in Pennsylvania. We only had 4 chapters but our greek life really grew while I was there.
First off, can anyone help recommend a website, book, etc., that can help us understand how the process works now? I was not in a sorority, and my friends who were tell me that things have changed.
Next, what will a sorority cost, and what will the cost include? What should she/we budget for besides dues and initiation? Are there ways to save on clothing or rush costs? And what are girls wearing to rush?
She will be attending a small southern school next hear where more than half of the students go greek. Should she be contacting the organizations or begin networking now? We live up north, and she will be staying on campus for a weekend soon to meet people and become familiar with the campus and programs. Right now, she knows no one else who will be attending the school. How does she find out if letters of recommendation are needed?
1. The NPC website recommended above is a good start. She can look online at the school's website, most likely, to see what sororities they offer. She can research a bit from there.
2. My sorority cost $45 per month in dues. We paid dues September - April. May through August was "summer dues" where we paid $90 one time. So basically we paid 10 months worth of dues. This included basically everything, including 2 t-shirts for various events per semester, all national and panhellenic fees, etc. This also included panhellenic fees for our university - our university had a panhellenic chapter (basically all the sororities together) that planned recruitment and other activities for all the girls to do together. In Pennsylvania you can NOT have a sorority house, just a suite in the on campus dorms, so we had a very small housing fee that was built into the monthly dues. I am not sure how a school in the south would work if they had a house, if it cost extra, etc.
We also paid "new member dues" that were due during our first semester of recruitment. I was treasurer for 2 years and I can't tell you (sadly) how many girls we lost due to those fees. I want to say it's somewhere in the ballpark of $400, one time, for the new members. A lot of college students simply couldn't afford it and didn't work - so if your daughter has the opportunity to save a little now, knowing she wants to go greek, that can't hurt. Also, we did a lot of fundraising to off-set those costs. Jewelry, cookie dough, working snack stands at football games, etc.
3. For Rush, as a potential new member, we had to dress business casual. I know in my first semester at school I had maybe one or two business casual outfits with me, so the girls on my floor all got together and pieced together outfits from each other's closets! Black dress pants, flats, a dress or skirt, etc, will probably do just fine. I think one night they just asked the girls to wear jeans and we wore jeans to make them more comfortable. I am not sure how formal they get, but I believe on Pref Night, we all got a little more formal with a cocktail dress (think wedding attire). We also needed "whites" for new member events. There are different chapter rituals, depends on the sorority she chooses, but a lot will require her to wear whites. It's not like she needs a fancy white outfit by any means - a white top or blouse of some kind, plain as possible, and a white skirt will do. Or a white dress if she happens to have one. Modest, not too short, rather plain, and she would be just fine.
4. I would have her research the school's Panhellenic Council as best as she can - likely if their Greek population is so big, they have a website, or a facebook page, or a twitter. She can probably contact them for more information about when recruitment is, what sororities they have, and maybe someone would talk to her about some things. Generally, schools have Recruitment Counselors for each academic year. The RC's are girls in different sororities, that come together through Panhellenic Council, to assist with recruitment. When I did it, we remained anonymous so as to not sway any of the girls in one way, and give them an objective opinion. She can kind of begin networking to see what the different organizations are like, but at my school it was kind of frowned upon to bring a girl to recruitment that you knew - our school wanted the girls to have an objective opinion to find what sorority worked best for them. Hope that makes sense.
5. A little bit about recruitment from a new member standpoint. You sign up. At our school it was 3 main nights of recruitment, like 8-10 PM I think. All of the girls are split up and they'll go visit each sorority - at their house or just at a neutral location, sometimes we did it in different meeting rooms on campus. The sorority will basically pitch to them all about their chapter, philanthropy, activities, organization background, etc. They'll schmooze the new members and talk to them, trying to pair them up with people of similar interests ("Oh, you play volleyball? Well so does Ashley, why don't we introduce you to her!?") They'll usually provide some snacks and drinks. You move on to the next chapter - same thing happens. At our school we only have 4 chapters so it was 20-30 minutes with each one. At the end of the night, the new girls go home, the chapters get together and decide who they would like to invite back. At the meeting after for the chapter, they have the opportunity to "red card" someone (at least in my chapter, this is how it worked). We went one by one, and we were allowed to talk about the potential new members. Not really a gossip section - more of a "who got to talk to this girl, what did you think?" session. There are so many potential new members, you can't talk to them all. So anyone that did would give a basic run down and say why they liked this girl. You have the opportunity to "red card someone, and the majority of the chapter has to agree. Red card means we would not invite her back the next night.
Unless someone said something rude ("I'm only here because my mom wants me to join a stupid sorority", etc) or really offended someone or something, there is no reason they wouldn't be asked back. At least at my school, we didn't judge girls based on looks. We wanted to build a sisterhood and include people - it wasn't catty. You get invited (or not) back for a second night, usually they'll notify the girls with handwritten cards to personalize things.
Night 2 you go back and again learn a little more about the organization. Pretty much the same as the first night - maybe a little more serious in who they invite back. The third night is Preference Night. Everyone is dressed up, it's very intimate and quiet, the chapter usually takes it very seriously and the girls will kind of give testimonies about why they liked the sorority, stuff like that. At the end of the night, new members make their choice and write it on a card. The chapters also make their choice, ranking the girls they want in their chapter. At my school we divided up the new members among the chapters so that it wasn't like one chapter was getting everyone - I forget how it worked but we had a certain "total" we had to meet in terms of numbers and you could only go within a certain number of total, so usually sororities were about the same size and everyone got about the same number of new girls.
The next day is Bid Day, where the chapters all wait outside in groups, in matching t-shirts, and the new members all get an envelope. The new members were all handed their envelopes, told 3-2-1, open! You find out what chapter you're in and run towards them with open arms and lots of hugs! It's really fun! Then you go hang out with all of your new sisters, eat pizza, etc.
My school made it a point of NOT socializing with chapter members during recruitment if you were a potential new member. It's not supposed to be clique-y and they don't want you to sway towards one sorority because you know someone. I actually made friends with someone my freshman year who was not in a sorority but decided to join ours sophomore year, and I couldn't be friends with her all week. I'm not sure how Southern schools work in that respect.
Anyways, sorry I am so long winded. It was a very worthwhile experience for me. It's not for everyone but I think your daughter is doing the right thing by researching her options. If she is a legacy of any kind (mom or aunt or someone was in a sorority), she can probably get an automatic bid. I'm not sure how the legacy rules work but I had 2 cousins that were in a local chapter of Delta Zeta. A lot of chapters should have a legacy form she can fill out if she wants to be part of a sorority that a family member was in.
Ultimately regardless of which sorority she ends up with, I hope it's a great fit for her! A lot of girls are sad that they can't get their first choice (I did get mine), but as long as she is herself and makes a good impression on the chapters (I'm sure she will), she should be just fine!
