Son dumped by his roommate!

[jjskribs]

My son who will be a Freshman in college finally received the name of his roommate last week. When my son called to introduce himself his "roommate" told him he was sorry but he didn't want to room with him. It seems that he has a hometown friend who is going to the same college and they requested that they be placed together. Apparently the college is going to allow the boys to switch roommates so that they can be together. We now have an e-mail address for his " new " roommate so my son can contact him but they will not give us his phone number. Housing will only tell us that he is an international student. My son has tried for 4 days to contact him but he has gotten no response.We are trying to coordinate cable service, refrigerator rentals, phones etc. but if we cannot get in touch we will wind up paying for everything ourselves. While we are trying to tell our son that this will be a unique opportunity for him he is now afraid that he will have little in common with his roommate. Yikes.... he's already apprehensive enough without something else to worry about.

 

[Jiminy102]

My First day of my Freshman Year in College after my new roomate and I had coordinated everything I got back from seeing my parents off to a note from her saying that she moved in with friends and if I did not find my own roomate I would have to pay extra for the room!! Everything worked out fine in the end. It was a rough couple of weeks though. I am sure it did not help that I was 21 when I started school and already afraid that things would not go well due to my being older than everyone else!! Good Luck to you DS!! I am sure things will be fine!!

 

[Jeafl]

I feel so bad for your poor son! I hope he didn't take the first guy dumping him as a rejection. Sounds more like an error on the college's part. I myself had the roomate from Hades my freshman year. The good news was, I was able to switch. Maybe your son will be able to switch as well if he finds he and his new roomate aren't compatible. It could be that he hasn't heard from the new guy yet because his computer is down and he didn't get your email. It is a shame that they didn't give you his phone number though. I hope you hear from him soon.

 

[musicfan]

He should just figure it all turned out the way it should. The roommate I THOUGHT was the one I would like the best (from our initial phone calls) turned out to be a drug addict who kept growing pot on our dorm windowsill. The roommate I THOUGHT was a nerd that I didn't like turned out to be great.

That kid who just wants to room with his friend sounds like he wouldn't be open to any new relationships anyway. The international student will probably turn out much better. Hey! He might be from Australia! But I won't tell you why that is so great, as I don't want to worry you!

 

[hercamore]

I am so sorry this happened to your ds.

My dd starts her freshman year in 3 weeks. She does have a single room, but is nervous about meeting new friends and wondering if people will be jealous of her having a single room.

I hope you will keep trying to find out info about the new roomie. He is probably worried too aobut living in another country, much less starting college!

One thought, buy your own refrig. at Best Buy. Much cheaper than rentals.

Herc..

 

[bumcat]

My dd was a freshman last yr. She was suppose to room with a friend from school. Her friend decided to go to another college. My dd then gets a roommate from mexico but as were moving in she is moving out on the first day!! Turns out she was suppose to go to college somewhere else? i never quite got the whole picture. She seemed super nice, i felt bad for her, she was hurrying to repack and catch a cab to the airport. Then my dd gets a roommate from venezuela. not good. She ran up my dd phone with calls to venezuela while my dd was working on weekends!! She was a smoker, she didn't smoke in the dorm but my dd has asthma and it doesn't take much for her allergies/asthma to kick in. This girl moved out the last month to stay with her wild partying friends. My dd was thrilled!
This yr. she is staying in a 4 bedroom apt. on campus with two of her friends she met last yr. One new girl is moving in with them. If someone moves out for any reason the mo. rent stays the same. I think this will be a much better yr. for her!!
Besides the phone problem she also had two very large and not so clean next door roommates that ate everyones food that they bought for themselves! 8 girls shared a fridge. Good luck to your son hopefully all will work out!!

 

[#1 Disney Fan]

Sorry to hear that things aren't seeming to go to swell for your son and rooming right now. Have faith that maybe fate was meant to work out this way for some reason, and that hopefully things will turn out okay. Keep us posted, and good luck pixie dust to your son!

 

[minniecarousel]

I truly believe that experiences with college roommates prepares kids for real life. My older son has had 4 different roommates (he had a single room for one year) and is still friends with the first one. Younger son shared an apt with 3 girls last year; he ended up practically moving in with his GF by the end of the year! They both had problems with roommates & drugs.
So guess who they're living with this year: each other! (at least they know what they're getting themselves into!)
Hopefully, your DS will get along with his roommate. I know it doesn't sound like it is starting out well, but if he keeps an open mind, he will do fine. Tell him to hang in there!

 

[helenk]

My son is going to be a sophomore this year. Last year he had the best room-mate! But at first we were concerned because my son is in the marching band and his room mate was a football player, yikes. all I could think of was whose idea was this. In high school the foot ball players and band just did not mix. But it turned out fine.
He forgot to sign up for housing and could not be guaranteed a room this year, but stayed on the waiting list and finally a room opened up and in the building he wanted to be in. He called his new room mate and left a message for him. The guy called him back and said the school made a mistake he was suppose to room with some one else! We called the school to see what was going on, and here the guys other room mate decided not to re-enroll for this year. He never even let his room mate know.
I think it is scary at first but hopefully all will work out.

 

[Boots]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Hope that everything works out for the best!!

 

[DocRafiki]

It's all a part of the college experience. No biggie. Why do you have to know all this ahead of time? I've been placed with over 10 roomies without planning anything in advance. Besides, he's old enough to take care of these things himself. My parents never asked who my roommates were going to be or worried about any of that. I guess I'm lucky they drove me to the dorm in the first place (I didn't drive).

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I didn't know my roommate until I got to school. We rented a fridge then. We had two stereos for a couple of weeks. The next year I picked my roommate, and it worked great--she spent almost every night with her BF and I had the room to myself!! Plus her BF was a DJ and she had great posters!
I've heard all kinds of roommate stories, good and bad. Hope it works out for your DS.
Robin M.

 

[jjskribs]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I'm sure that everything will turn out for the best and this will be a valuable learning experience for my son.

DocRafiki....... you are correct that my son will be old enough to take care of many things himself. He will be 7 hours away from "home" and will be on his own for the most part. However, he will know that his parents will be there for any emotional support that he may need. I'm sorry that your parents didn't seem to be more involved in your college experience.

 

[Buz]

I went to the Air Force before college. My folks were very supportive. They drove me to the bus stop downtown and even waited until it left.

They had the house rented out to someone and left on a 3 year tour around the US in the travel trailer. When I met my DH to be, she asked where my parents were. I told her the last I knew, Denver 3 weeks earlier. LOL

Having no place to return to strenthens your resolve.

Buz

 

[ChibiJones]

I wouldn't worry about him being an international student too much.

My first roommate was origianlly from Barbados. My second roommate was from Korea. I got along great with my first roommate. My second roommate & I weren't as close. My biggest complaint was that we just had different schedules. She had a ton of clothes & kept giving me things that didn't fit her though.

I'd rather have someone who did laundry at 5am than my friend's roommate who broke up with her BF because he had coffee-breath. Or the other girl in our dorm who had her BF basically living with her (Oh, is that one for the roommate horror stories thread).

 

[marlasmom]

If he is allowed to, have him bring a popcorn maker and start popping corn as people are moving in. Everyone will be attracted by the smell and drop in to meet him. Really works.

 

[glo]

Hoping everything turnd out well for you DS and his new roommate. This is such a hectic time for all involved. Crossing fingers and sending PD your way!

 

[Chattyaholic]

share one of the two bedrooms in her dorm room with her best friend from high school, but at practically the last minute her friend decided not to go to college at all, so my daughter had the room to herself. The dorm room had two bedrooms separated by the living room and bathroom. The two girls in the other bedroom were friends, and they spent the first night in their dorm at their boyfriends' apartment, leaving my daughter completely alone her first night at college!! She was so depressed. It's hard for college newbies, with all they have to adjust to. Eventually my daughter got another roommate and they got along quite well, but my daughter was really a homebody and ended up moving back home and just commuting to college. She stayed in the dorm September, October and November then at the Christmas break she moved back home for the rest of the school year. She asked about getting a refund on her "room and board" but was told if she moved back home she'd have to pay a "breach of contract fee" (think it was $500 or something like that) even though they had a waiting list for people wanting dorm rooms!! Ridiculous!! Her roommate "covered for her" and they never found out she moved back home!! Her second year of college she commuted, then she ended up getting engaged and getting married so didn't finish her college education.

 

[Simba's Mom]

My DS's story is a little different. He asked to room with a good friend of his freshman year of college, they didn't really know anyone else. Well, by the end of the first semester, the previously good friends were bitter enemies. My other DS delibrately didn't want to room with the only friend he already knew when he went away to school-instead he chose a stranger, luck of the draw. He and his friend are still good friends, but NOT ever roommates!

 

[disykat]

I can understand how it is nerve wracking for parents - I'm nervous for my boys already and my oldest is nine! However, I do think there seems to be more previous knowledge of roommates etc beforehand now. I had no idea who my roommate would be freshman year and ended up getting one out of overflow after being alone for several days. I guess since all we took to school was clothes and a typewriter there was less to coordinate?

My parents dropped me off and I graciously let them stay long enough to help me carry my stuff into my room. LOL My plan for involvement in their "college experience" is to encourage them, tell them it will be fine and then drop them off fast and then worry myself sick until the first phone call just like my parents did.