Somewhat delicate sleep question

[Maddysdaddy]

To those who suggested the sleep headband, yes - I purchased the one wirecutter recommended. Works great, but doesn’t block out the noise.

I’ll just spend the night on the balcony and prop my feet up on a chair. I’m suffered from insomnia since 1994 and have gotten used to living on only 3-4 hours of sleep a night, so whatever I get in a chair won’t be that much less than what I’m used to.

Don’t want to do anything like sleeping in the tub or hallway - I’ve always told my wife that the reason I sleep in the spare room is because I’m restless and don’t want to disturb her - and not the real reason. It’s been twenty years of marriage and I’d really like to see twenty-one…

Thanks to everyone who chimed in on this. Your suggestions and concern are very much appreciated.

 

[FinnFogg]

As someone here now in a one bedroom, there is ZERO soundproofing between the bedroom and either part of the bathroom (tub or toilet/shower). You might as well be in the same room. I vote balcony.

 

[DeeBee3]

Good luck to you. For some reason I feel attached to your story. Bad sleep is terrible for anyone's health, as I'm sure you have heard a million times. Way more serious than people usually talk about it. Just keep that in mind for both you and your wife. Best of luck!

 

[AnnabelleTheTalkingTree]

How about white noise? I'm planning on bringing one for a trip in a couple of weeks. Family of 4 in one room, I'm thinking it will help us all sleep better. If you're already on vacation bringing one might not be an option but there are plenty of phone apps and options on Spotify.

 

[IndyToThere]

Have your wife try Z Quiet. It's a mouthpiece that you can buy at Amazon that pulls your lower jaw slightly forward to open up the airway and quiet snoring. It's made a massive difference with my husband who snores loudly. It brings the snore level down to a very mild buzzing noise which is far easier to sleep through.

...
Also, a doctor cannot rule out apnea without a sleep study. Trust me on this one. My husband brought up his snoring 5 years ago to his doctor. He brushed it off but gave my husband an "at home" sleep study. It said he didn't have apnea. Years went by with my husband having worse and worse snoring, daytime sleepiness, and other symptoms. I pushed him to bring it up, he has a different doctor now. Brushed off again, told to buy OTC mouthpiece for snoring, so we got that Z Quiet, which helped, but did not eliminate it altogether and husband was still having daytime fatigue, and was now developing high blood pressure. He recently saw a pulmonologist about shortness of breath on exertion due to possible long Covid. Part of the intake was a questionnaire for sleep apnea. He scored off the charts for red flags, and the Pulmonologist ordered a sleep study at an overnight clinic. He just had that study done. He has such severe apnea that he stops breathing, on average, 40 times an hour and gets absolutely NO restorative sleep. It's so bad that they expedited his CPAP delivery and he goes back next week to do another study to calibrate the machine. The technician at the clinic told my husband that if the at home sleep study had any merit, he'd be out of a job. He also told my husband that I deserve a medal for sleeping in the same HOUSE as my husband , because his snoring was some of the loudest he has ever heard. Over the past few months, either he or I have been sleeping in the guest bed, because it's been so bad. Loud snoring is almost never "normal."

In addition to the Z-quiet device, they also make custom-fit mouth guards to bring your lower jaw forward. Much pricier, but it might be a good solution to investigate into. I'm actually in the process of getting one to help with some mild snoring when I lay on my back. My sleep study showed I have a mild sleep apnea... not enough to justify getting a CPAP but worth trying to correct my snoring.

 

[DLgal]

In addition to the Z-quiet device, they also make custom-fit mouth guards to bring your lower jaw forward. Much pricier, but it might be a good solution to investigate into. I'm actually in the process of getting one to help with some mild snoring when I lay on my back. My sleep study showed I have a mild sleep apnea... not enough to justify getting a CPAP but worth trying to correct my snoring.

Yeah, we are looking into paying out of pocket for one of these because my husband spends 3 nights a week away from home and he doesn't want to keep bringing the CPAP back and forth. The good ones are around $450, although that's much less than you'd pay through a dentist. Our insurance will only cover one device, so we are letting them pay for the CPAP.

 

[DLgal]

Good luck to you. For some reason I feel attached to your story. Bad sleep is terrible for anyone's health, as I'm sure you have heard a million times. Way more serious than people usually talk about it. Just keep that in mind for both you and your wife. Best of luck!

Indeed. Finding out the long term health effects of poor sleep is what pushed me to nag at my husband and make him talk to any doctor that would listen. It's terrifying.

OP, please tell your wife the truth. She needs to know how bad her snoring is for her own health. You are not doing her any favors by lying to her about this. You will both shorten your lifespans by continuing down this road of bad sleep. 3-4 hours per night is not enough. This will literally kill you early. Please, both of you speak to your doctors and find a way to get your sleep back on track. Insomnia is not a normal condition either and there are treatments.

 

[Version 6]

OP, I'll echo what others have said re: sleep apnea.

I do not fall into any of the risk categories. I am a healthy weight, very physically fit, no family history, etc.

But my wife kept pushing me to get a referral for a sleep study. I now sleep with a CPAP and it is honestly life changing.