Sometimes, do you ever just hate people ?

[KNWVIKING]

We had just gotten on an Internal bus at OKW at the H.House. Only about 8 people on the bus. Before we got to the Turtle Pond stop, the air smelled of someone passing gas. As soon as the bus stop, an elderly lady - wear white short & white tee-shirt - bolted quickly from the bus. Just looking at her clothing it was obvious this poor woman had had an accident. As people were loading onto the bus, we could see this woman trying to run back to her room. DW & I felt so terrible for this woman and so helpless to do anything to assist her that it made us sick ( not physically, but emotionally). Then human nature reared its ugly head, as it almost always seems too. A family of four, the boy and girl were older teens, all very preppie looking, started the snickering. They got off at our bus stop and then they really started. DW and I just looked over at them with disgust & I made a comment loud enough for them to hear which seemed to cause the mom to try and hush them up. Talk about five minutes of intense mixed emotions. Oh well, I'm done ranting.

PS: To the family of four, I hope you're Dis board members.

 

[SRUAlmn]

How absolutely ridiculous!! It's such a shame that it becomes a cycle. Their children learn from them, and then their children's children will learn from them and then we end up having a world full of un-sympathetic hurtful people.

 

[lenshanem]

Do you expect anything less from a couple of teens? Those years can be the worst! Hopefully as they grow up, mature and become less self centered they'll learn a little more compassion. Unless of course, their parents were also laughing with them, then they might not stand a chance. Glad you said something to them. That is sad to make fun of someone who either couldn't help her accident or who was sick.

 

[rocketriter]

Peer pressure is often the best way to control that kind of bad behavior--and that's exactly what you applied when you expressed your disapproval of the rude group's behavior.

It's also worth remembering that every one of us has, at some time, laughed inappropriately at someone else's distress. If the family who made you angry eventually settled down, you can bet that you made an impression, and they may have even thought about their behavior at a later time.

 

[Happy Birthday Cat]

Originally posted by lenshanem
Do you expect anything less from a couple of teens?

I would expect more. I know many teens who would have helped a person in that situation. Not all teens are heartless and uncaring.

As the parent goes......so goes the child.

HBC

 

[jekjones1558]

PS: To the family of four, I hope you're Dis board members.

I doubt it because DIS folks are helpful and kind, from my experience!

I have such admiration for anyone who participates fully in life in spite of illness or other health challenges. It is a special part of the WDW ambience to see all ages, wheelchairs, Make a Wish folks, all having as much fun as the young and healthy. Hopefully someday the above family will have a richer WDW time by relishing the breadth of humanity that it attracts.

 

[SRUAlmn]

When my father was suffering from cancer and my sisters and I were 14,12, and 9 we would get so angry when we were out in public. My father was bald (at age 38) due to the chemo and he would have a horrible cough a lot of the time. When we would go to a restaurant or something people would point and laugh and sometimes when he coughed people would ask to move to a different table because they were grossed out. Fine, but no reason to be so blatently loud and rude about wanting to move. This one family with 2 small girls (probably ages 7 and 9) at the top of their lungs were saying to each other, how inconsiderate that a cripple would come here and gross all of us out and ruin our dinners. The worst part, my mother had the 9 year old in school the next year. It was VERY hard for her to be un-biased as a teacher. It just infuriated me! I wanted so badly to say something to them, but I was always taught if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I just felt so bad for my dad- he looked so embarrassed and like he wanted to cry! Two years later he passed away, and to this day I wish I had said something and 'stuck up' for him.

 

[Ksp]

Originally posted by Happy Birthday Cat
I would expect more. I know many teeens who would have helped a person in that situation. Not all teens are heartless and uncaring.

As the parent goes......so goes the child.

HBC

How true. We were just having this conversation at our local middle school. Although TV/media & society in general certainly play parts in the shaping of our children, the most important force in their lives are still the parents. If they don't respect others, the children will follow in their footsteps.
Sorry to hear about your experience, but I am SO glad you said something that the parent's could hear.

 

[jekjones1558]

SRUAlmn:

Your dad is so proud of you right this very minute. He raised you right!

 

[Pa@okw95]

Many people have cancer and the treatment for certain types of cancer can leave the inners(bowels and bladder) harmed in such a way that they do not function as they should. This can cause a situation like the one on the bus. The poor woman may have just been sick or worse have some damage caused by cancer or the treatment of it. There was no excuse for the behavior of those kids on the bus. As for a restaurant situation while I must say the behavior there was not good, there is justification for being asked to be moved because someone is coughing. I for years suffered from real bad asthma, the kind that a bad cold can really cause some damage, I still to this day move away from people that are coughing. I do it very quickly and quitely. I only bring this up to point out while bad behavior in these situations is out of line, moving away from the situation is not. People who go to a restaurant should not think people are going to be sympathetic to all ill people, a lot depends on the situation. I will not pay to eat where someone is coughing, smoking where the smoke is coming our way, where children are out of hand, and where someone is ill enough to have an effect on my eating and enjoying my meal.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I'm using this read as something for me to think about and I hope I act in a honorable way when I witness something like that. My thanks to you and your family and I hope the woman has the courage to go on and live a full life. I also hope that her family members are as wonderful as you are.

Bobbi

 

[spiceycat]

I learned from my grandparents to be consider to others. I am so sorry for that lady - but she probably doesn't want pity.

Karen - I was taught the same rule - but sometimes you just have to tell people that they are being rude.....I generally say in a loud noise - that so and so on doesn't have any manners do they......that generally stops that type of behavior.

Knwviking - I am so glad that you say something - others wouldn't. and that is one fear that mothers has - she is 81 years old and she goes to WDW (only with me) and has fun.....

WDW is a place where no matter what your age you can have fun!!!

I hope the lady comes back to WDW!!!

I am overweight and some very rude people have make remarks about my weight - well I make remarks about them - I know not nice - but when some little shrimp thinks they can make remarks to me and get away with it !!!!

most of these people are trying to be funny or entertaining to their friends - you know the group - they aren't part of my group so they don't count as human being....or even worst (my opinion) they aren't part of my church - so they aren't human being.....

 

[bounceytigger]

Thanks for sharing that story with us, knwviking (and SRAUlmn). I totally agree that sometimes it is very easy to hate people (or more accurately, hate what people are capable of doing.) I'm so glad that you made a comment for that family to hear. Hopefully it will have some kind of impact on them...especially on the parents since they should've been stopping the kids from making those comments the moment they started.

But on a positive note, I have to say that seeing what you wrote, and what other people have said in their replies, reassures me that there are still lots of good people in the world! (I live in Chicago---driving on the highways there every day is enough to sometimes make one wonder where the "good people" are!)

Hearing these sorts of stories will certainly remind me of how I want to make sure I raise my own son--to be full of kindness!

 

[LSchrow]

Originally posted by lenshanem
Do you expect anything less from a couple of teens?

actually, i find teens are the first to give up their seat on the bus, open doors for others, ask ppl if they need assistance.
our experience: on an OKW bus a few years ago, a very elderly woman got on (my teens & DH had already given up their seats.) i had a broken toe, so waited a minute......saw young parents sitting (men & women) with a seat for each child ~ none on laps, just sitting there watching the woman sway.
of course, i gave up my seat & just stood on 1 foot for the ride (after the woman got off, DH tried hushing me but i still LOUDLY gave my sad opinion on what those parents just taught their children).
imho, lack of compassion isn't restricted to any one age group...........

 

[gopherit]

I would definitely expect more of teens, and even MORE of their parents. I think that's the problem -- so many parents expect so little of their teens, and that's then what they / we get as a result!

A kid on a team playing my son's baseball team had difficulty with continence, especially under pressure situations. Sure enough, right there on first base, this poor kid wets himself, and the baseball pants (being light gray) did nothing but highlight the problem. The coaches and parents all responded in a way so as to minimize the child's embarrasment. The kids on both teams then responded in kind, with great empathy -- no teasing, mocking, none of that at ALL. Similarly, a child in my other son's class has leukemia and has just returned to school; her pretty long blonde hair is now replaced with a bandanna tied tightly around her puffed cheeks. The students have all taught us adults a thing or two on how to be a true friend! THeir consideration and the ways they show it have been amazing. I think in general, children are born with a marvelous sense of compassion. HOWEVER -- sometimes adults and media do nothing to nurture it, and like any growing thing, it then dies. Shows wherein we laugh at people tripping or slipping, or getting whacked, scared, or scarred for life are very common now; video games encourage you to engage in the same deliberate behavior as "fun". And it's the adults paying the cable bill and video store. And then we wonder why Johnny laughs when the elderly lady falls on the sidewalk.... gee, go figure.

If a rotovirus were available in a bottle, how convenient it would be to slip some to that family that laughed. RIght around the time they're waiting in the cue for Tower of Terror, it would kick in, and then they would know that woman's distress as they scrambled to find a bathroom. Now there's an episode for the Twilight Zone.... Come to think of it -- remember that one episode of Twilight Zone -- The Movie wherein the very prejudicial man gets a taste of his own hatred? He complains about the different races, then ends up experiencing a piece of the horror each has endured (holocaust, KKK, Vietnam war). Interesting concept.

 

[lenshanem]

I guess that was wrong of me to make the comment about expectations and teens. As I was writing it I even stooped for a second and thought someone is going reply to that comment! I just think this time of life most are usually self centered, but with time and wisdom grow out of it. I think many would agree to that. Kinda like the I'm invincible thing, too. Nothing can happen to me...
Regardless, I do know there are teens that can be caring. A matter of fact this past Sunday at church was youth Sunday. They were honoring those graduating and had bios written up on each student. I commented to my hubby that every single one had quite an impressive bio and he pointed out those were kids raised in church! It does make a difference!

 

[Doc and Family]

KNWVIKING--Good for You!!!

Happy BIrthday Cat--DITTO!!!!

The acorn does not fall far from the tree.

 

[mrsdon]

im sorry about what happened on the bus..
My son is on of the most compassionate people I know.
he has to be, because he suffered as a child/
He had brain sugery and radiation and lost all his hair in one weekend.
None of the other kids wouldplay with him, because their parents told them that David was contagious..
Hello, a brain tumor is not cantagious.
They also called him Cancer boy.
He had to live with that nick-name until he started HS.
The tumor was in 5th grade.
When he was a SR in HS he had another brain tumor and sugery again, and this time the experience was much better.
I make it a habbit not to make fun of people even if they lok normal. because I have NO idea what their life was like.

 

[Tigger7570]

Sorry to hear about what happened on the bus. That easily could have been my mother or my mil. Both have experienced problems this past year that left then in a situation over which they have no control. Both are 86 and up until this point have been fortunate enough to enjoy good health. But separately, they both developed different problems, similar in the fact that they find themselves having to seek a bathroom immediately or they will have an accident. These are two proud independent women who have had a difficult time and if they were in the same situation as this woman, I would hope that they would be fortunate enough to be with people who are as compassionate as you are. For them, having lived their lives with pride and dignity and to now find themselves in a situation they can't control, has been very hard for them. Fortunately, they are both finally on the road to recovery, but there will always be a possibility that they can have an incident as this woman did. Also, those adults could easily find themselves in the same situation as that woman. I had a friend who developed an infection called c-diff from an antibiotic which basically leaves you in a situation like that woman and this friend was not an older person so it can happen to anyone. How thoughtless and rude.

By the way, Spiceycat, it's sad how rude people are and believe that they are superior human beings. One of the things that DH and I love about DW is that I have always felt that it's the one place that you can go where most people aren't judgmental. I have always said to DH that it's so nice to be someplace where people can just be themselves and people aren't judging them on their looks, size or wealth. We actually brought a couple with us once who started to say some rude things about heavier people in shorts, but quickly realized we had no interest in hearing such rude comments and for the rest of the trip, there were no more rude comments. I love DW and if I can help it, I too will comment loudly to anyone who is being rude to others. I also feel too that people who make rude comments are really insecure and miserable human beings and can't stand that someone else can just be happy because their happiness comes at the expense of someone else. How sad are they?

 

[kathleena]

Thank you for the story and for the thoughts on people.

I have been dealing with Hyperthyroidism and that condition speeds up everything in your body. Everything. Food digestion included. I have had a couple of accidents, thankfully at home. It's just uncontrollable sometimes. Not to be too graphic, but it comes on suddenly and I have to be very careful about what I eat. At least until the hyperT is under control and I get back to normal.

I really sympathize with that lady on the bus. I would be just horrified if I were her.

And to the people who told stories about their relatives - I agree, your Dad is smiling down at you. And my Mom died from a brain tumor. I know how it was whenever I took her out in public while she was ill. Sorry your son had to deal with that and the other kids at such a young age.

take care everyone.