sometimes DH really irritates me...

[lillygator]

so after having all day off to himself yesterday (which he has most every Tuesday) and knowing we are having people over soon for the holiday...do you think I came home to anything significant being done?

NO, he mopped part of the living room and part of the kitchen. There are still piles of laundry around and the girls bathroom is horrible, which is also the guest bathroom....as is the rest of the house. We have TOO much stuff and no where to put it.

ok, so whatever.

So just now I talk to him and he wants to invite the outlawz over tomorrow night since one of our daughter's has a show at school.

NICE, the house work is a reflection on ME in his parents eyes...they are old school about who does what, so he really doesn't care. So tonight I will have to go home and clean like a mad woman, with two dd's who usually just mess up what I have done, while he could have worked on this yesterday.

It also amazes me that on Saturday, when he is at work, I can get more done with the girls there than he ever does on his day off.....gosh it is so frustrating.

 

[mickeyboat]

I feel your pain, sista!

DH is great, and surprises me sometimes, but I think he just doesn't see the mess in the house the same way I do. It's like he doesn't even notice it. I do and it bugs the crap out of me, especially when I know someone is coming over.

Denae

 

[HelenePA]

when Patrick is home "alone" (alone in our house means with less than 3 kids right now) I give him a list (no joke) and ask him to do as much as he can on it while me and at least one of the kids are gone.. it works! Try it! Men can see a mess and just ignore it for days if they aren't told to just pick it up or clean it up.. again this is how it works in my house.. I'm sure there are some men neat freaks out there none of them live here...

 

[lillygator]

I may have to try that.

 

[Belle Amy]

My DH is the exact same way. On my days off, I complete more things than he could in a week. I've started giving him a list as well, and letting him know what I expect him to get done. I feel like his mother, but you gotta do what you gotta do!!

 

[nana2tots]

Boys will be Boys !!!!!!!!!!!!!,

 

[Monte Cristo]

Better get to work.

 

[mjkacmom]

when Patrick is home "alone" (alone in our house means with less than 3 kids right now) I give him a list (no joke) and ask him to do as much as he can on it while me and at least one of the kids are gone.. it works! Try it! Men can see a mess and just ignore it for days if they aren't told to just pick it up or clean it up.. again this is how it works in my house.. I'm sure there are some men neat freaks out there none of them live here...

I would never leave DH home alone without a list! DH wouldn't do a thing on his own - just wouldn't occur to him (he's not very neat). He'd much rather have a list than have me be upset when I came home.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

You know what is funny.
My DH will THINK he is cleaning. He will load the dishwasher or start the washer. But only when he feels ready.And believe me..IT WILL NOT BE ON TIME THAT HE HAS ALONE. lol
Love him like crazy, he's my best friend..but he has no cleaning urge what so ever!

 

[Tantor]

when Patrick is home "alone" (alone in our house means with less than 3 kids right now) I give him a list (no joke) and ask him to do as much as he can on it while me and at least one of the kids are gone.. it works! Try it! Men can see a mess and just ignore it for days if they aren't told to just pick it up or clean it up.. again this is how it works in my house.. I'm sure there are some men neat freaks out there none of them live here...

that is what I have started to do. I make a list. Amazing how it helps!!

 

[CowboyCO]

so after having all day off to himself yesterday (which he has most every Tuesday) and knowing we are having people over soon for the holiday...do you think I came home to anything significant being done?

NO, he mopped part of the living room and part of the kitchen. There are still piles of laundry around and the girls bathroom is horrible, which is also the guest bathroom....as is the rest of the house. We have TOO much stuff and no where to put it.

ok, so whatever.

So just now I talk to him and he wants to invite the outlawz over tomorrow night since one of our daughter's has a show at school.

NICE, the house work is a reflection on ME in his parents eyes...they are old school about who does what, so he really doesn't care. So tonight I will have to go home and clean like a mad woman, with two dd's who usually just mess up what I have done, while he could have worked on this yesterday.

It also amazes me that on Saturday, when he is at work, I can get more done with the girls there than he ever does on his day off.....gosh it is so frustrating.

From a DH here. If you want harmony and do not want to end up being passive aggressive (or active aggressive ), then here's what you should do in the future. My DW and used to go the rounds about stuff like this. I'd be home all day and would do things that I wanted to do, not the stuff SHE wanted me to do.

Make a list, prioritized from most important to least important. Don't put a year's worth on honey-do's on it. Then put a star next to those things that really NEED to get done by him. Then when you get home, treat him like a puppy. Praise him and give him a treat...

Guys aren't complicated -- just follow the manual...

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

See..I have always felt bad about leaving lists. Seems wrong to me. I wouldn't want someone leaving me a list of things to do on my day off.

 

[yoopermom]

My DH thinks that "cleaning"="hiding". He'll stuff everything out of sight, and consider it good. I'll never be able to find anything again. I agree, lists are needed, for spouses and kids! (Don't discount what kids are able to do, and they'll value what YOU do more, if they're required to help.)

Rots a ruck!
Terri

 

[barrett7890]

i'm a list leaver here, usually only a couple of things

he much prefers that, if he was on his own he'd get caught up playing on the computer and not even think about things being done

a list means he gets that stuff out the way first thing

ETA - when i'm at home alone i ask if theres anything in particular he needs done, so it works both ways

cami
x

 

[Savsmommy]

I always leave DH a list. It's the only way things will get done.

 

[HelenePA]

See..I have always felt bad about leaving lists. Seems wrong to me. I wouldn't want someone leaving me a list of things to do on my day off.

Well I would feel bad if I got a day off I basically take care of kids, cook, clean, etc every second I'm awake. Right now my "downtime" is when I'm sitting down nursing the baby. Dh's lists aren't that bad.. usually he can do it all in an hour todays list will include putting away 3 baskets of clothes.. all folded and sorted just need to be put away and cleaning up the kitchen... why am I not doing that right now you are wondering.. I have a baby attached to me. After he's done eating I need to get started on lunch and dinner. Dh will be home after that.. and I need to go food shopping.. if I send him we'll be eating poptarts all week

 

[Laura]

Well, I'm sorry you have so much crap to do.

I have to say, though, my MIL raised my DH right. He takes off work and the house is definitely cleaner in the evening than in the morning (unless he's really sick, but even then he usually does laundry or something). I do bathrooms, he does the kitchen, we share the rest. He's also a great cook. I got lucky!

 

[lillygator]

I will try the list --- maybe small to start....